When the Crown Falls
by sachi-sama
Summary: Hibiya will never be a prince again. He left that life far behind him, and moved to a crowded city to start anew. When he meets a certain blonde, he gets dragged into a music scene filled with sex, drugs, and potential love. DelHibi.
1. Chapter 1

_Ugh, I'm so masochistic sometimes... See, I decided to write a DelHibi story, because I love working with Delic. Yet, for this story, I'm going to have to work mostly with Hibiya, since it's in his POV... So yeah, FML. Ah well, it'll work out. With that said, I'm warning you all right now, in chapter 1, that this story is going to be MEGA sad. I know most of you will stick with me anyway, but just know this is not a fluff story in any way. _

_ Disclaimer: I do not yet own any of the characters. Wait, can I have Izaya? _

_ Man in suit: *shakes head and points to gun*_

_ Well fuck!_

_Meetings_

I can remember as far back as a year ago. Everything before that is irrelevant. It's pointless. It's not worth my effort. I tell myself this to keep busy and not wonder why my parents never call me. I know it's because they don't care.

I don't care that they don't care. So there.

I guess you could say I'm a little spoiled.

I come from a very wealthy family. My father owns almost every building there is to own, and my mother is a pampered queen. She's never had to work a day in her life.

I am their only son.

I am also their biggest regret.

See, in our household, we look down on things that aren't considered normal.

Really, what the fuck is normal anyway?

In our mansion, full of maids, cooks, random businessmen... I was always alone.

I never really fit in with any of the people my parents wanted me to associate with. They were always sending me to other rich children's houses, always wrapping me up in white lace and placing teacups in my hands.

I never got to fucking spill a goddamn drop.

I realized a long time ago that I fall into the category my parents hate. I am abnormal. I want so much more from this life than what if being given to me. I decided I was going to follow whatever dream I could think to create.

A man is only as good as his word, ne?

So when my sister came along, I decided to leave the family name to her. I was only 10 at the time, but I already knew what I wanted.

By the age of 15 I was in a prestigious boarding school.

By the age of 18 I dropped out, and dropped my last name.

I am now simply Hibiya.

I will never be 'Mommy's little prince' again. I will never be anyone's prince again.

I only want to find a way in this world on my own. I don't want any fucking help.

I'd rather die happy and broke than rich and miserable. Wouldn't everyone?

Well, no. My mother is quite content with the way things are. Ah well.

Stepping off the Greyhound bus, I look around at the damp city streets. It's raining outside, and everyone is scrambling for shelter. Everyone except me. I stand there and raise my face to the clouds, welcoming the drops to splash on me.

I realize it's a little strange, but I never got to do it as a kid. So, I'm doing it now. I'm even _laughing _a little. Oh mother, look at your little fucking prince now!

"Excuse me sir, you dropped this." an elderly man says, handing me my umbrella. I look closer and realize he's a beggar. A damn hospitable one to help me out when he has nothing. I smile at him as nicely as I can.

"Keep it. You need to have a shelter."

"G-God bless you, sir!" he squeaks, taking the damn thing like it's made of gold.

"No problem."

I turn and make my way down the empty street. I'm soaked to the bone, but I don't care.

I'm happy right now. For the first time in 20 damn years, I'm happy. I'm glad I made this move. I'm glad no one knows me. I'm glad my life of lace and teacups is over.

I stop under a streetlamp and pull out my damp map. I observe it wistfully, trying to figure out where the hell I am. I hear a voice behind me.

"You lost?"

I turn and am instantly greeted with a pair of magenta eyes locked into my own. The owner is a tall blonde man, headphones around his neck, and an umbrella over his head. He holds it over me now too.

"Ah, thanks. Yeah, I'm kind of looking for an apartment." I inform the stranger.

"Oh okay. Where is it? I'll help you out before I go to my meeting." he says cheerfully.

"No clue. I don't have it yet." I grin at him.

His face is in a frown now, obviously trying to process why I'm happy when I'm homeless. He doesn't know of my home though, and why I'm glad without it.

"You're sleeping in the streets tonight? In this weather? Kind of hazardous, don't you think?" he smiles impishly. Obviously this man has a sense of humor.

"Mmm, maybe. But at least it's warm outside." I reply.

He laughs at this, the sound filling me with more unexplainable joy as I join in. I'm seriously _giddy _right now.

"You can stay with me till you find your non-existent apartment. It's better than nothing." he says.

"Oh, no. I couldn't possibly do that. We just met!"

"No, we haven't even met yet. I don't know your name." he grins.

"Hibiya."

"Your parents stopped at Hibiya? There's no last name?"

"They decided not to give me one. Just Hibiya."

"Okay then. I'm just Delic."

"Good to meet you, but I must be off now. I've got to contact someone about a place to live and I need to start filling out job applications-" I'm cut off.

"Whoa, whoa. You're coming with me. It's not really that long of a walk. It's fine. You can go out tomorrow and job hunt." he tells me smoothly.

I stare at him incredulously.

"Are you being serious? You're letting a complete stranger in your house?"

"No. I'm letting one into my _apartment._"

"Smartass much?"

"One of my flaws."

"I thought you had a meeting." I say dryly.

"You can come too. It's an open thing, it's cool."

I stand there and weigh my options. Okay, I said I wasn't going to rely on anyone anymore...But really, what other options did I have? It was stay with Delic, or stay in the street.

"A pretty thing like you will get raped out here." he pushes.

Fuck.

"Fine, fine. I'll come with you. I still can't believe how nice you're being to someone you just met." I sigh, folding up my map.

"Haha, I'm usually not. There's something about you though. I need to keep you close I think. You're interesting." he laughs, walking forward with the umbrella hovering over both of us.

"What about me?" I push.

"Golden eyes are rare. You must come from an interesting family with great genes to have them." he says.

"...They're as rare as pink eyes..." I huff at him.

"Maybe~"

We walk to a large brick building. Instantly, I tense. What is he's a rich guy and this is a business meeting? I really can't handle any damn business meetings. I'm a little nervous right now... I don't want to befriend another rich asshole.

"Delic." I say, my voice shaking. He looks at me in concern. "W-What kind of meeting is this?"

"It's a meeting for nymphomaniacs." he smiles.

"Nympho-"

"Sex addicts."

Oh mother, if only you could see the mess your prince is in now.

The teacup is on the ground now. I finally spilled it.

And you know what?

It feels fucking _great._

* * *

_ Sachi: I know Hibiya is OOC, alright? He's supposed to be. He's leaving the pompous rich life behind. Delic will be very much IC the entire story, so there's that at least. _

_ Hibiya: Commoner! I demand to be made a prince in your tale!_

_ Sachi: ...But he's still a bitch in the postscript..._

_ Hibiya: Blasphemy!_

_ Delic: Why am I always in dramas? *sigh*_

_ Sachi: Because you're so good at them! Much love to all who are reading~! I wasn't going to post this story so soon, since my Tsukioppi isn't finished yet, but I love multi-tasking so much I thought I'd give it a try. I won't post again on this one till at least Friday…I'm going to a party later tonight and I fear I may not be sober enough to update…hehe…Review for virtual love! _


	2. Chapter 2

_Already subscriptions and favorites? You guys are too kind to me! I was concerned that Hibiya's OOC-ness would make people abandon this story before it even started. But, I assure you, he's still Hibiya. He will have little quirks throughout the story that will remind you of who he is. This is just my interpretation of how I think it would be for him to start over. Hope you bear with me!_

_ Disclaimer: I don't own them...*sigh* but, I have a plan for Izaya._

_Man in Suit: *cocks gun*_

* * *

_Nymphomaniacs Anonymous_

You know when you walk into a room and immediately you stick out like a sore thumb? Yeah, that's where I am.

Delic nonchalantly walks into the large room full of people like it's a normal occurrence. Half of them look...normal. They're wearing clothes like anyone else would. There was no sign that screamed of their depravity.

Then, there were the others who just looked messed up. Most of them probably were. I remember my aunt who had addiction problems and how normal she always looked.

My parents forbade me from ever speaking with her because she made our family look bad.

When she overdosed, we didn't even go to her funeral.

But enough about that. Everyone is looking over at me like I'm wearing a flashing neon sign or something. Delic is a little ahead of me, putting the umbrella against the wall.

Then I realize why they're all looking at me. I'm still soaked from the rain. Not to mention I have bags of clothes with me that I had to drag here because I have nowhere else to put them.

Maybe I shouldn't have come...

"Oi, Hibiya."

"Eh?"

"Come over here."

It's then that I notice Delic is now sitting down and patting the empty chair beside him. We're sitting in a circle. Like the kind of circle of chairs little kids sit in for story time.

A hell of a story this will be!

I do as I'm told and sit beside the blonde. He grins at me impishly. He can tell that I feel horribly out of place here.

He's getting a kick out of it!

"I feel like you're enjoying this too much." I hiss at him.

"Me? No. I'm simply observing you in an unfamiliar habitat. It's kind of like watching a new animal arrive at the zoo for the first time."

...Did he just compare me to a wild animal?

"Well, you'll be observing that for a while. All of this is new for me, not just this meeting." I inform him stiffly.

"I could tell that as soon as I saw you get off the bus." he laughs.

Do I really look that lost here? I mean, I _am _lost, but I didn't want to look like it.

_"Appearances are the most important part of people." _my mother used to say.

A man dressed in a white dress shirt and suspenders comes in the room. He greets everyone warmly. So he's like the ultra sex fiend of them all?

No wait, he's the therapist.

Whoops.

He sits at the front and talks to everyone about the importance of celibacy. About how using your body instead of words doesn't always work. About how we have a new member in the- Wait. He doesn't mean me does he?

Sure enough, he's looking at me with a smile on his face. So is everyone else.

"Care to introduce yourself?" the balding man asks me.

"Uh...I think there's been some sort of misunderstanding-" I begin.

"No, there's no misunderstanding. You're nervous about your addiction right? You don't want to share anything. We've heard all of this before." he cuts me off.

"No, _really _I'm not-"

"Tanya, why don't you share your experience?" he says to a woman with too much lipstick on.

She starts talking about how she used to wait outside the bus station to find illegal immigrants who didn't speak her language. She would trick them into having sex with her.

"I think they thought it was their present for making it here." she laughed.

I don't even... Just wow. I knew I was sheltered my whole life, but _wow._

The great thing? Hers wasn't even _near _being the worse.

There was a man who cut the pockets out of his pants so he could masturbate in public.

There was a man who was so into Martymachlia he used to carry a blow up mattress with him everywhere.

There was a woman who convinced her son to strangle her- Okay, I'm tuning this one out.

Auto erotic asphyxiation are three words I never thought I'd hear paired together.

The whole time, Delic is sitting there with this goofy grin plastered on his face. He's watching me process all this information.

My outlook on sex before this meeting was very bleak. I'm 21 years old, and I've never done anything sexual in the least. I just never really wanted to. I think I'm asexual. My knowledge of it could literally fill half a teacup.

Now? I know so much more than I _ever _wanted to.

Starting now, I'm _definitely _asexual.

Eventually, he gets to Delic. I'm horribly interested in this man's story. Yeah, he's a nympho, but he's nice enough to take a stranger in from the cold. So surely he's a good guy?

"I used my body to get my job. And I used it to get money for a short amount of time. I date people just to fuck them."

Okay, scratch everything I just said.

Delic is looking at me again. This time the grin is gone. I can tell he's scrutinizing my reaction to his statement.

"Still think you're alone?" the balding man asks me. I smile at him nicely.

"I feel alone in the fact that no matter what I say, you're going to twist it into a sex story. Perhaps I should tell you I'm a virgin and see what you do with that?"

"Virgin? You can all be virgins again if you wait until you fall in love to have sex!"

This is seriously something you would see in an after school special.

I don't miss the arm that drapes around my chair.

* * *

We're standing outside another building now. I'm assuming this is Delic's place. He shakes out the umbrella under the overhang and closes it.

"So, what are you thinking?" he asks me.

"About what?"

"The meeting. The city. Me." He shrugs.

"That meeting was intense. I feel like I learned more than I needed to." I cringe.

He laughs at me like I told a joke.

"The city is so…different…I really…like it here…"

He smiles at this warmly as he leads me up a flight of stairs.

"And as for you, I never would've pegged you as a sex addict. You don't look like you'd be that sort of person." I say as we reach a wooden door. He looks at me as he pulls a key from his pocket.

"What sort of person is that?" he inquires.

"I just…I never knew someone could get _addicted _to sex."

"You technically can't. It's not the sex that's addicting. It's the endorphins that sex releases that are so intoxicating. It's a high that's impossible to escape from." He tells me.

"Endorphins? It releases chemicals? That's…weird…"

His magenta eyes are practically gleaming with my every statement.

"Just where are you from exactly?"

"Nowhere important. Nowhere I want to talk about." I shrug.

"I'm taking you in from the good of my heart. I deserve a good story time." He laughs.

I knew I shouldn't have come here!

"Are you sure you don't just want me to thank you with sex or something?" I grumble as he takes his coat off and drapes it over a chair.

His apartment is small. It's quaint and smells like cologne and cigarette smoke. I really like it here though. It's so different from where I'm from. He's doubled over in laughter from my suggestion.

"Nah. Don't get me wrong, you're pretty fucking hot. It's just that I have three weeks of sobriety under my belt right now and don't want to relapse." He says. "Besides, you don't look like you're ready for that sort of thing."

"Ready? It takes preparation?" I ask.

"You really _are _a virgin." He grins. "Now stop changing the subject. Tell me where you came from."

I shrug off my soaking wet jacket and place it beside his on the chair.

"You can't put wet clothes with dry clothes. They'll mildew."

"What's that mean?"

"…Put your clothes on the tile in the bathroom. We can wash them tomorrow." He says as he looks at me incredulously.

I do as I'm told and toss my soaked clothes on the floor. While I'm in there, I go ahead and change into some of my dry clothes. Everything I own is so different from my surroundings. Of course, I don't really own any of this…All of it was bought with my parent's money. But, until I can get a job, I'm stuck with what I have.

When I walk back out, I notice he had the same idea I did. He's dressed in night clothes too. Of course, his are just sweatpants and a wife beater. Mine are warm flannel pajama pants with a matching shirt.

He whistles.

"What?" I say as my face heats up.

"You're like…adorable in that." He grins.

Okay, so they're my dad's clothes. They're too big for me…But I couldn't find mine! Trust me, I hate wearing his clothes.

I fucking hate my father.

"S-Shut up you horrid imbecile." I hiss.

"Horrid imbecile? Is that supposed to be an insult? What, are you like from a royal family or something?" he laughs.

Honestly, no. My family lives like royalty, but we're far from it. Our fast paced lifestyle is entirely shallow and worthless. We fill the endless void in our lives with possessions. Like inanimate objects can fill a hole up enough that we all forget it hurts.

It's one of the reasons I had to leave. My hurt is too big to be filled.

"No. Just wealthy." I say. Please let that be enough.

"If you're wealthy then why are you homeless?" he inquires.

"I-I'm not wealthy. My parents are…"

"They're not helping you?"

"I… I was disowned…"

And it's true. While I left on my own accord, my parents still took the liberty of telling me I was never allowed to visit. My sister could never see me.

I was a disgrace to the family.

I could never be "normal".

Delic is looking at me with an unreadable expression. He reaches out and ruffles my hair.

"Man, that's rough. I know the feeling though. I was disowned after I moved out too." He says.

"Are you from a wealthy family?" I inquire.

"Fuck no! Dear old mom and dad could barely feed themselves, much less me!"

"T-Then why-"

"Because they were crazy religious. And when I got a reputation around town for being a whore, they wanted no part of me."

"About that…You really got paid for sex?" I ask.

"For a short time. I mixed business and pleasure to get enough money for this place. Now I work at a bar downtown. But, I wouldn't have that job if not for my skills." He grins impishly.

"What do you mean?" I feel like a toddler when I have to ask all these questions…but I really don't understand most of what he's telling me.

"My new boss fucked me in exchange for hiring me." He says like it's normal.

"She… You had sex with your boss?"

"_He. _He had sex with _me. _I pretty much just laid there."

Dear sweet mother of God.

I just look at him with a lost expression. I can feel that he's enjoying all of my reactions. He has been since I met him. Jerk.

"You've never heard of a man fucking a man?" he asks.

"I have…It's just… My mother said it was a sin…"

My father never acknowledged such things.

"Depends on if you're religious. Either way, I'm not gender specific, so it was acceptable for me."

"So…you've been with both." I assume.

"Damn straight." He laughs.

I fiddle with a loose string I find dangling from my pajama sleeve. I'm trying to process what he's telling me, but the filter in my mind just can't handle it.

It's too much.

"I get it now. You're a sheltered little kid." He sighs, shaking his head.

"Little kid?" I huff, my temper flaring. "I'm not a little kid. It's just a lot to take in when the only sex talk I ever received from _my _parents was 'Don't do it Hibiya'. If I did it I would've been kicked out faster. It's not like I'm this ignorant by choice."

He's watching me closely.

"I didn't mean to insult you." He says. "I can just tell how inexperienced you are."

"Well I'm working on it alright?" I hiss.

There's silence for a moment. The rain is still pounding on the windows. I realize it's probably ungrateful for me to argue with my savior, but he's being insensitive.

I'm not this fucked up by choice.

I look up when he stokes my face with his large hand. I can tell instantly that he's using his body to cheer me up, instead of his words.

If that's what he wants to do, that's fine. As long as it doesn't go too far.

"You can stay here as long as you need to. We'll go looking around tomorrow for a place for you, alright? I'm sorry if I made you mad."

"…I'm mad at myself…" I sigh, my anger fading.

It's true after all.

I'm mad at my situation. I'm mad at my family. I'm mad at my lack of experience with _anything. _But most of all, I'm mad at myself for allowing it to last as long as it did.

"Can I do anything to help?" he asks smoothly.

"I don't think so, Delic… I just need time to adjust."

"I'll help you out with that. You'll see that it's much easier to take in new things when someone is with you that already knows what to expect." He assures me. His hand is still on my face and he's too close to me.

"Delic…" I whimper, pulling back. He follows me and leans close, placing our foreheads together.

"Don't be afraid of me. I'm a little depraved, but I'm no rapist." He informs me as his magenta eyes bore into mine.

"I-I've never…been this close to another person…" I whisper fearfully. I really haven't… Not by choice. "I don't understand why you're going so out of your way to help me…"

"I already told you, I don't know why either. I just feel like I need to. No offense, but you need a babysitter, Hibiya."

"I'm not a kid!" I snarl.

"Haha, your eyes flash like lightning when you get mad." He says as he places his hands on my shoulders, his head still against mine. "I'll call you Chibiya. Since you're like a kid."

"You're such a…plebian!" I hiss. I mean it in the vulgar context, but I guess it comes out as me calling him a commoner.

"Plebian? Well, Chibiya-_sama, _where would you like to sleep?" he smirks.

"I-I'll sleep on the couch. It's no big deal." I say, trying not to look too closely into his eyes.

"Good. I was afraid you'd risk the bed with me. I've got three weeks of sobriety, but I'd probably force myself on you if you slept with me." His face is entirely serious. I flinch.

"Chibiya… I can tell that there's something else on your mind… You know I won't try to do anything, right? I'm not a monster…" he says quietly, his fingers digging in my shoulders.

"I do know that… I trust you…" I try to smile at him.

"Good. I'll leave you to get some sleep. Goodnight." He says as he rises to enter his room. He leaves the door cracked open.

I don't know why, but I'm grateful that it's still slightly open.

It reminds me that I'm not alone.

* * *

_Sachi: Whoo, we're off on this story!_

_Hibiya: My character is too vulgar! I never use such language! Fix it!_

_ Delic: I like myself. I'm like a badass~_

_ Sachi: Thanks, Delic! I'm glad **someone** appreciates my interpretation of them!_

_ Hibiya: I'd like it more if it was accurate. Commoner._

_ Sachi: *sighs* _

_ Delic: Um… Review for the next chapter! We love getting feedback for our hard work~!_

_ Sachi: Yeah! And if you wanna slap Hibiya, I support that. _

_ Hibiya: Hey!_


	3. Chapter 3

_Haha, I love that you guys support OOC Hibiya. I've noticed that usually if they want Delic with someone with angsty issues, they pair him with Psyche. Now, I like Psyche with Delic, but I don't see why Hibiya always has to be a bitchy prince. I mean, I know that's like his shtick or whatever, but I'll try writing this my way and we'll see if it works. Angsty Hibiya! Muahaha. Now, for the virtual love~. __Paranormal Alchemist__, yes I like him better without the 'Holier than Thou' attitude too. __Marshmallows Rule The World__, that's the greatest compliment ever! As for the 'can I kiss you' thing, I don't see why not! Haha. S. Oyabun,__ I think he's cuter this way too. __Monkey Girl 13624__, here's more! __Braverly-Homunculus__, thanks! And you'll find slapping Hibiya is stress relieving. __FallingforWerewolves__, I like that you stalk my stories. I love your reviews! And yes, Delic is very easily amused. __Threegreenbeans__, HOLY COW! I seriously didn't even think about making Hibiya's aunt Roppi's mother in 'Fix You' but I guess it fits! So, we can just go with that and say it was my master plan. That way, the stories can connect! But, it won't be mentioned in the story I don't think. This is strictly a DelHibi... On with the story~!_

* * *

_Morning_

I woke up face down on the couch. I think I had a sort of "Where the hell am I" moment though. It took me a few minutes to gather my bearings and figure out that I was in someone else's apartment.

"Nghhhh..." I let out as I try to block out the sun that's shining through the window.

"Heh. Good morning, Chibiya." a smooth voice calls from somewhere near me.

"GAH!" I flail backwards and fall on the floor. The sound of laughter fills my ears.

"Sorry! I didn't think a simple good morning would scare you!"

Ah yes, I'm with a man named Delic... I forgot he existed for a few hours.

"I forgot you were here..." I mumble as I rise from the floor. He grins at me.

"Did you now? Well. who's place did you think you were in?"

"I didn't think about it at all. I just woke up!"

"Heh. You get so mad. It's cute." he says as he pours some black sand looking stuff in a machine. I raise an eyebrow at it.

"What are you doing?"

"Making coffee. Want some?"

I stare at him like he's floating.

"I...I can have coffee?"

"...Yes...If you want it."

"I do! I want it!" I scramble toward him and watch him pour water in the machine.

"...Please don't tell me you've never had coffee." he says.

"I've never been allowed to drink it."

"_Why?_"

"My parents are health crazy. And the school I was at didn't sell coffee like this. It was in bottles and it was cold."

"Chibiya...that's the saddest thing I've ever heard. Next you'll tell me you've never had beer. Or hot wings."

"Beer? Hot wings? What's that stuff?"

"Sweet mother of God..." he mumbles, flipping the switch on the machine, "I'm taking you to the bar I work at one night this week, my treat."

"When do you work again?" I ask, watching with great fascination as the machine starts to make noise and black liquid starts to pour from the little spout into the glass pot.

"Tonight. But we have a band coming to play, so I wouldn't be able to watch you very well. I suggest you come when we're not too busy." he says, laughing at my expression when the machine makes a sputtering noise.

"Is it supposed to do that?" I ask, backing away a little.

"Yes. It's making coffee."

"Well, it sounds like it's dying...Anyway, what do you mean by 'watch me'? I'm an adult!" I hiss.

"Chibiya, you're an adult that's never had sex, coffee, beer, or hot wings. Those are all like my most favorite things in the world."

"...Well, you're giving me coffee. I guess you can help me with the rest of them too." I mumble, moving back toward the coffee maker.

"All of them?" he grins impishly. "Are you sure about that?"

"Eh? Why?"

"You want me to have sex with you?"

"Who said that?"

"You did. Just now."

"Oh. Well, I didn't really mean that. Sorry." I say, trying to hide the blush that's covering my face.

"Hand me a cup from that cabinet above your head." he laughs, pointing to the little door above my head. I do as I'm told, and hand it to him. He moves the pot from the machine and pours some of the liquid into the cup I gave him.

"Here. Drink it slowly, alright? It's hot." he hands it to me. I take a sip.

"Bitter!" I spit.

"There's some sugar in that little bowl by the coffee machine."

Coffee machine? That's what the little device is called? I'll have to remember that...

I add some sugar to the coffee and try it again. It tastes so much better! That machine must be a gift from Heaven!

"Haha! You're so cute!" Delic laughs, pouring himself a cup. He literally pours so much sugar in it that it's probably more sugar than anything else. I grimace at the thought.

"Here. Try mine." he says, holding his own mug toward me.

"That's an awful lot of sugar though..."

"Chibiya, just try it."

Once again, I do as I'm told.

"BLEGH!"

He's laughing again like I just told the funniest joke in the world.

"Damn, you're better than television! You know, I was thinking of getting a puppy. Maybe you should just stay here. I'll take care of you." he smirks.

"...Did you just call me a puppy?" I narrow my eyes.

"Only if you're _my _puppy."

"If either of us is the puppy, it's you! I'm more like...a..." I trail off.

"A pampered ass cat?"

"Hey!"

"Haha! You even bristle up like one!" he howls with laughter once more.

"If I had claws I'd scratch you like one!" I hiss.

"That's hot."

"The coffee? I know."

"..."

He shakes his head at me and disappears for a few minutes into his room. I sit and sip at the drink he made for me as I think about my current situation.

So I have to find a job...I'm horribly inexperienced ay everything though. Who in their right mind would hire me? Maybe someone will take pity on me. Or, maybe someone will notice who I am and take a chance.

But I don't want that though. I want to make it on my own without using my infamous father's name.

"Get dressed." Delic says as he walks back in the room. He's sporting a bright red hoodie and jeans. The pink headphones around his neck clash horribly.

"Eh? Where are we going?"

"To look around the city. I wanna see your face when you see everything."

"Oh, okay!" I grin, running to get clothes from my bag. Once again, I have to dress up a little... I hope I'm not too overdressed for this city...

My long sleeved shirt is a golden color. My pants are khaki's. He looks me over when I emerge.

"Damn. Wish I wasn't doing so well with my sobriety..." he mutters.

"What's that mean?"

"That you're fucking adorable."

"Oh...Thanks?"

"Just being honest." he grins cheekily.

I fall in stride with him as we make our way outside. The sun is _very _bright today. It's reflecting off the windows of the buildings above our heads. I have to squint to see ahead of myself as the glare gets in my vision.

"Okay down there?" he asks. Obviously, my short stature is a joke to this man.

_Everything _I do is a joke to this man.

"No." I huff. "I can't see!"

His hand wraps around mine as he leads me down the street. I allow it, because I can't really see where I'm going.

"Better?" he asks as we get into the shade.

"Much." I say, finally able to see where we are.

"Alright, so I was thinking I'd take you out to a small cafe for breakfast."

"But...that costs money. We can just walk around."

"_Chibiya. _The money isn't an issue. It's not like I'm paying for gourmet shit. Come on, live a little."

"...Fine."

His hand is still in mine.

* * *

There's a small little shop on the corner. I'm trying to decide what's cheap enough for me to order, when I notice Delic is staring at me.

"What?" I ask, deciding on a croissant and another small cup of coffee.

"Nothing." he shrugs, ordering coffee and a brownie. It seems like too much sugar to me, but I keep my mouth shut since he's being nice enough to buy me breakfast.

"Here you go dear." the plump woman behind the counter says to me as she hands me my croissant wrapped in a little baggie.

"Thank you very much." I smile at her. She blushes a little, before she shakily hands me my coffee. I look over to Delic, who's laughing in his hand.

_"What?"_

"Chibiya, she thinks you're hot." he grins.

I look back over at the woman who looks old enough to be my mother. That's just wrong! She smiles warmly to Delic as she hands him his order. She doesn't blush when _he _thanks her.

We walk out together again. I'm thinking of the little fat lady and her weird response to me.

Let me explain, women usually never find me attractive. I think the last time a girl had a crush on me was in elementary school. She just liked the fact that I was filthy rich really. This woman has no idea who I am, and she still thinks I'm attractive? It's weird!

I know you're probably thinking, "Wow, Hibiya. You need to get out more." Well, what the fuck do you think I'm doing? This is why I'm with this man who thinks I'm like a pampered cat!

"I bet she'd give me a job." I say suddenly. The thought literally just crossed my mind.

"I bet she would too. A nice long one."

"Wait...what?" I don't get why he's smiling at me like that.

"Never mind... Go ask her."

"I will on our way back home. I don't want to face the sun again." I shrug.

"...Home?" he asks in a weird voice.

"Eh?"

"You said 'home'. You...think of my apartment as a home?"

"I meant your home. Sorry if that was weird."

"...I liked the sound of it."

A small car pulls up beside us before I can ask what he means.

"Delic! What's up man?" a deep voice asks from inside.

"Kadota? Is that you?" Delic greets warmly as he walks up to lean in the passenger door. I stand eating my croissant awkwardly. I hate meeting new people.

"Yeah! Going into downtown to get a new guitar." The man named Kadota says. His gaze shifts to me.

"Who's your friend?"

Delic glances at me like he's not sure whether or not he should answer.

"I'm Hibiya." I say as I down the rest of my coffee. I think I'm addicted to it.

He grins at me slyly before he raises his eyebrows at Delic.

"No." the blonde hisses.

"Why not man? He's hot!"

This again? I'm starting to think that if I lived in this city without Delic, I'd get raped daily.

"He's off limits."

Off limits? Am I a prize?

"Fine, fine. Hey, Hibiya!" Kadota calls to me.

"What?"

"If you ever want to get fucked, come find me!"

Delic glares at the car as it speeds away before he throws his empty coffee container at it.

"Fucking pervert." he hisses.

"He seemed fun." I say nonchalantly.

"Sorry. He's a sexaholic too. He just stopped going to the meetings."

"Maybe he's fine with it."

Delic looks at me incredulously.

"You seem...surprisingly adaptable to weird situations." he sighs.

"Well, all of this is new to me. If I didn't have an open mind about things, I'd be run over like a dog." I inform him.

"...True. Just don't...I don't know, just don't stray too far from me." he says as he pinches the bridge of his nose.

I laugh at him for once. He's acting like an overprotective owner.

"What are you going to do when I find my own place?" I grin, nudging him in the shoulder as I find a trash receptacle to throw my empty coffee cup into.

"Worry like hell..." he mumbles so I can barely hear him.

* * *

_Sachi: Aww, me likey Delic. He's a good natured sexaholic._

_ Hibiya: Coffee is made from the Gods!_

_ Delic: It really is! _

_ Sachi: Truly. Everyone who reviews gets a steamy cup of awesome coffee!_

_ Hibiya: Yay! I mean... that's acceptable..._


	4. Chapter 4

_Holy huffin' Jesus! You guys reviewed like crazy! Virtual love is a must. __Marshmallows Rule The World__, haha everyone should love coffee! __nazupii__, yes, LOVE! Thanks for such kind words! __S. Oyabun__, dirty mind! I know why you want Hibi-chan to have coffee at your house~! I love you too! __Nelniel__, you reviewed for the coffee! I know it! __FallingforWerewolves__, how do you think I feel? I'm the one who comes up with these pervy thoughts to begin with! I'm such a dirty minded nymph... __AllTheLovelyBrains__, haha yes Hibi-chan is easily adaptive in this story. I like him better as you know, not entirely an asshole. He's still spoiled though. __Delbiya__, I love you too! __XxTeddybearshooterxX__, I love them too! You're welcome! __Logic Dive__, that's a major compliment! THANK YOOOU! Sorry for the late update... I started work Tuesday and my manager was like, "Um, you work...till next Monday." I was like, "WHAT? But my fanfiction!" So yeah...here's an update though! On with the story!_

* * *

_The Show_

I think I've seen the entire city by sundown. Delic is such a child when it comes to being a tour guide. The day was filled with:

"Chibiya, you have to see this!"

and my personal favorite,

"CHIBIYA! Don't roll your eyes at me!"

Ah, needless to say, my legs are so tired from walking. The sun is finally starting to disappear under the buildings. There's a few stars in the sky, but it's mostly still pink and purple. I let out a contented sigh as we sit on a bench by the ocean.

"Tired?" Delic asks.

"Exhausted." I sigh.

"Heh. Well, you can sleep while I'm at work."

"What time will you be home?" I ask him. He smiles.

"Late. My shifts last all night usually."

"Oh..."

To be honest, I'm a little scared to be by myself all night. I know it's weird because I'm an adult, but I've never actually been by myself in a place before. After I left school, I lived at my grandparent's house for a little bit. I really don't have anything in common with my mother, but I get along with her parents famously. They treated me like a son my whole life. Someone obviously had to.

My rash decision to leave was unappreciated by my grandmother. My grandfather understood my desire to be independent. I think my grandmother wanted to baby me forever. They're the only ones in the world who know where I am.

My parents probably think I'm dead.

Like they even care.

"It'll be fine. My apartment actually stays pretty quiet. Most of my neighbors are older people who go to bed at like, 7." Delic's deep voice breaks me from my thoughts.

"Yeah, I slept really good last night." I say.

He's looking at me again. He's been casting me these little glances all day. He said he liked to watch me when I saw new things. I guess he likes watching me when I'm watching the sunset too.

"You know, your eyes are almost glowing right now." he says matter of factly.

"They are?"

"Yeah. It's like the light from the sun matches your eye color or something."

"You must really like the color gold. You always remark on my eyes." I laugh, settling back against the bench.

"It's not really the color I like..." he grumbles.

Delic is a weird fellow. He observes so much about everything. He could probably lead me all over the world if he wanted to. When he says these weird things though...

It makes me feel funny.

"We should go back soon. Before it gets dark." I say as I turn away from him.

"Yeah... I need to get ready for work." he sighs.

I'm the first to stand. My legs scream in protest.

"Nooo! We wanna rest!" they yell.

I ignore the little pricks of pain and look expectantly at Delic. He's sullen at the thought of work.

"You could just call in. You know, stay home..." I mutter.

"That sounds great..." he agrees.

"Yeah. Just stay with me."

He smiles up at me before he stands beside me, looming over me.

"Chibiya, I like the thought of coming home to you~" he purrs.

"You're such a weirdo."

"Heh, yeah."

We make our way back to his apartment. I'm trying to memorize the way, in case I ever want to leave while he's out or something.

I don't want to rely on Delic too much.

We pass the coffee shop from this morning.

"Wait!" I say loudly to the blonde, making him freeze.

"What?" he asks in alarm.

"I need to go get an application!" and I run back inside the store. The plump lady from before is gone. Now it's a younger looking guy behind the counter.

"Hello, how may I help you?" he asks me, smiling widely.

"I need a job application."

"Oh, okay! Here!" he says cheerfully, handing me a thick little packet with lines all over it.

"Thanks." and I start to walk away, but he calls me back.

"You're over 18, right?"

"...Yes. I'm 21." I say, narrowing my eyes dangerously.

I mean, come on, I'm short but I'm not _that _short!

"Sorry! I was just going to tell you we don't hire people under 18!" he squeaks apologetically.

"Oh. Thanks again." I huff, leaving the store.

"Did she flirt with you?" Delic grins when I get outside.

"No. She wasn't there. It was some kid who thought _I _was a kid."

"Well, you do look young. No offense."

"You look young too! We _are _young! It's not like being in your twenties makes you over 100!" I hiss.

"Easy now. It's good to look young. So when you're 40, you'll still look 20."

"How old do I look?" I ask, defeated.

"Hmm. Like, 19? Not too much younger. You just don't look like you've reached your twenties yet. You're really...small. Hence, I think Chibiya suits you well." he smiles as we're climbing the stairs to his apartment.

"Well, maybe I'll just refer to you as a big overgrown baby." I mumble. He looks at me again.

"Are you _pouting_?"

"No!"

"You are! Your lip is poking out and everything! Oh, this is priceless!" he laughs at me again.

I feel like whenever he laughs at me, my pride dies a little.

"Shut up! I can't help it when you make me mad!"

"I don't even do anything to make you mad! You just have a tendency to get mad at nothing." he grins, still holding back laughter at my vexed expression.

When he unlocks his door, I rush past him and curl into a ball on the couch. I can hear him still chuckling as he disappears into his room for a little bit.

When I'm alone, my mind wanders. I think about my parents. I wonder if my sister is okay. I hope to God dad doesn't-

"I'm about to leave." Delic says from behind me. I roll over and sit up.

"Can...I come with you?" I ask dejectedly.

"Chibiya, are you afraid to be alone?" he asks seriously.

"No! I just... I don't want to be bored..."

He sighs, and runs his hands through his hair.

"Here's the thing, I work in a bar. There will be drunk men _everywhere._ I don't want you there unless I can watch you. I can't watch you if I'm working."

"But... I can take care of myself!" I whine.

"You don't even recognize when someone is flirting with you." he points out.

"That was one time!"

"The flower lady by the park?"

"She was being nice!"

"The guy at the bookstore?"

"He was helping me find stuff by Emerson!"

"By putting an arm around you?" he snarls.

"Okay! Okay, fine, he was flirting! But I didn't look at it as being threatening! He was just a guy that found me attractive! Beside, you had women drooling over themselves to get a look at you all day so I don't want to hear it!" I snap.

"You... you notice people look at me?" he asks in disbelief.

I don't understand the big deal here. He looks elated.

"You notice more than me." I huff.

He walks forward so he's directly in front of me. He puts his hands on either side of my face and forces me to look up at him. His breath is on my face.

"I wonder... Have you ever been kissed before?" he whispers.

"...No..." I say just as quietly. I feel like if I speak up, it'll ruin whatever's happening here.

He leans forward a little so his lips are ghosting over mine. His pink eyes are observing my reaction to him. I see him smirk a little before I close my eyes, waiting for him to kiss me.

I mean, if he _wants _to. I don't really care either way.

I really don't.

But then, he pulls away, leaving me there without a kiss. I open my eyes and look up at him in confusion. His expression is unreadable. He turns my head and places his lips against my ear.

"I'll come home later tonight..." he sighs, the breath blowing in my ear and sending a little tremor floating through me.

"I'll be here." I whisper back, leaning my head against his shoulder. He kisses my temple, and pulls away again so I'm all alone.

I look around the darkening room in fear. If I stay here, I'll be awake the whole night.

And if I'm awake the whole night, why be locked up all alone?

Thinking abruptly, I open the door quietly, locking it before I close it. I run to the stairs and dash down them as I look for Delic. I see him at the doors, just beginning to leave the building.

As he walks, I make sure I stay far behind him.

My plan is perfect! I'll see where he works, hang out a bit, then leave before he notices me there.

Okay, so it sucks. I just hope he doesn't notice me. If he does, he'll most likely be mad.

Wait...how am I going to get back in his apartment if I locked the door? Damn, I need to plan things better...

Well, no use dwelling on it now. I keep my distance before I see him slip inside some shady looking building that has smoke billowing out of the windows. I frown at the sight before I follow him inside.

There are people at the counter, sitting on high stools that reach way off the floor. They're all drinking golden liquid from thick glasses.

Apple juice?

Anyway, I sneak a little further in and take a seat in the back at an empty booth that's hidden mostly by a big plant. I haven't seen Delic yet. A few eyes are directed at me, but not enough to raise an alarm.

I hope.

I think about 15 minutes of me trying to blend in went by when the lights dimmed even more. I look up, alarmed. Maybe the power's going out?

"Attention everyone. We have a local band playing tonight. They've gained quite the audience around here recently and we know that's why we have a crowd." a man with a ponytail announces from a little stage at the front of the bar. I realize then that all the lights are dim because they're all focusing on him.

"Please welcome Burndown City to the stage."

Burndown City? Is that the band Delic was saying played tonight? What a weird name.

There's a little shuffling on the stage as the man rushes to plug in wires to other wires and it looks completely stupid because he's really fat. If I was a lesser person, I'd laugh.

Then, he waddles off the stage and the members of the band grace the stage. I freeze.

Delic is there.

Beside him is the man named Kadota from earlier. He's holding a guitar. I remember that he was bragging about a new guitar earlier.

Beside them is a man with longish brown hair parted in the middle. They're all pretty tall, but Delic seems to loom over them. I'm glad it's not just me he looms over all the time.

They say something to the crowd, but my eyes are locked on Delic. He looks so proud and easy going, even when there are so many eyes on him.

Then I notice all the wires are plugged in to Kadota's guitar. There's a large drum set behind them too. The unfamiliar brunette walks toward it and sits down. Delic picks up another guitar and stands beside Kadota. Then, they start playing something.

The music is flowing through me. It's like it's in my veins and charges through me. Of course I've heard music before, but never like _this_. It's heavy. And loud.

I think I'm hooked.

Then the most electric thing I've ever felt swims over me because I realize...

Delic is singing.

His voice is deep just like when he talks, but there's a quality to it that's so...seductive. I wonder if that's the voice he uses in the bedroom with his apparent _many _partners. It washes over the crowd and everyone is silent as they watch him.

Of course, they all seem to be drunk, but that's beside the point.

I'm still glued to Delic's face. He looks more at peace than I've ever seen anyone look.

When the music stops, find that I already miss it. I can't help but wonder why Delic never told me he was in a band. Does he work here and just play every now and then? Or is it only music he does?

"Hey there, pretty boy." I hear a slurred voice and I notice a large man draped in the chair across from me.

"...Hello." I greet. He's holding some of the apple juice.

"You wanna try some beer?"

I tense. Delic wanted me to try it with him first.

"No thanks." I decline.

"C'mon now! Don't be bitchy." and he walks forward and tries to tilt my head back and force the stuff down my throat. I slap the glass from his hand and push him away from me.

"Are you MENTAL?"

"Heh. Kinda feisty, huh?" he grins before he tackles me into the seat.

Suddenly, two things happen very fast.

1. The man is pulled off me, and thrown to the side.

2. Delic looks furious.

Well, looks like I've been caught.

At least I saved my first beer for Delic.

* * *

_Sachi: Ugh, it took too long to type this. I'm like half asleep because I was at work all day then had to babysit my niece for a little bit._

_ Delic: Quit complaining. Just go drink a beer!_

_ Sachi: Gross! I prefer- Okay, I'm keeping that to myself, haha._

_ Hibiya: I fail to understand why anyone reads your drabble, commoner._

_ Sachi: To see you act stupid?_

_ Hibiya: I'm never stupid!_

_ Delic: You thought beer was apple juice._

_ Hibiya: They're the same color!_

_ Sachi: Anyway, review please! I love them so much! I also love all of YOU! :D_


	5. Chapter 5

_Once again I get to update! Ugh, my feet are killing me from work, so I'm just going to laze about and type till my fingers hurt more than my feet. (Muahaha.) Anywho, time for the virtual love. I got some serious great reviews this week! __Threegreenbeans__, haha, your brother tricks you with apple juice? That's funny! __Paranormal Alchemist__, don't neglect school work! My fanfiction will be there after you're finished with study guides. __Logic Dive__, haha bedtime story? I only wish I had these types of bedtime stories when I was little! __Marshmallows Rule The World__, here's an update! Hibiya is too naive, but loveable. __Incidentalmusic,__ BAHAHA! "What devil did you sell your soul to for these ideas?" Greatest question ever! However, I didn't sell my soul for ideas. I sold it for a sandwich to my friend. I wonder if she still has it...? Anyway, loved that crazy review. Glad you think my stuff is addicting! __S. Oyabun__, um, you can have Hibiya. You know, if you can beat Delic. As long as I get Izaya, we're all golden. __FallingforWerewolves__, yeah he has many Captain Obvious moments. __jusqualafin__, your review was the forst I read this morning before work! Made my whole huffin' day! I'm glad I don't have to go into much description... Hibiya is the narrator, and we have to see things through his eyes, which is hard because he doesn't know what most things are, haha. I'm glad you took a chance to read my story even though it's in progress. __AllTheLovelyBrains__, haha, what tune was Delic singing? Eh, I don't think you guys want me writing lyrics... Just imagine it as a very deep, sensual, voice assaulting your ears~. __mikasiam 71192__, thank you! Here's an update for you! Anyway guys, recently I had an amazing couple of lasses sent me fan art for my other story, 'Psychosomatic Monsters'. Huffin' FAN ART! (Thank you, The-Louse-and-The-Beast and Kite-Bird!)That's like ultimate love in the highest form! I love fan art! Go to Deviant Art and in the search bar type "Kite-Bird" in. It's the comic called "Say Yes." (about Shizuo asking Izaya to stay with him) On with the story~!_

* * *

_High_

Delic's pink eyes are narrow as he looks down at me in the booth. The drunk guy saunters over again from the corner.

"Heeeeey, whatdya do that fer?" he slurrs.

"Back off." Delic growls, turning away from me to loom over the poor fool.

"I'm tryin' ta get laid!"

"I _said _to back the fuck OFF!" the blonde rears back to hit the man, but I catch his fist in my arms before he can.

"Don't! You're at work, ne? You'll get fired!" I beg, holding his arm close to me. His glare softens as he looks at me, then he sighs and pulls me toward the door.

"Go home." he says.

"No! I made it here by myself and everything! Why can't I stay?" I implore.

"Because of people like _that_!" he hisses, pointing to the man who now has some poor woman in his clutches. She seems pretty drunk too so hopefully they'll work it out.

"But he's gone now! I just... I want to watch your band again..."

"...You saw us play?"

Instead of saying anything, I just nod. His eyes grow wide.

"I, uh... What did you think?" he asks.

What did I think? Did he seriously just ask me that?

"It was amazing! I've never heard music like that before! It was so forceful and your voice, Delic, your _voice_! It was beautiful!"

Delic's eyes grow even wider if that's possible as he looks at me. A smile stretches across his face.

"Y-You think that? You're a fan?"

"Your biggest fan if you let me stay." I bargain.

The blonde's arms loop around me and he pulls me into his chest in a bear hug.

"Thank you, Chibiya..." he says against my ear.

"...So I can stay?"

"You just don't give up, do you?" he laughs, tugging me closer.

"No. I want to stay here with you."

He pulls back a little to look at my face before he nods, signaling that I'm okay to stay here.

"Yes! Oh, I haven't tried beer yet. That man tried to force feed it to me, but I turned him down." I say happily.

"Heh, you didn't want to try it?" he asks.

"I want to try it with you."

Delic's hand wraps around mine as he leads me to the bar where a woman is standing, wiping a glass with a rag.

"Erika, we need two beers." he says to her.

"Who's your friend?" she asks, looking hopefully at me.

"Hibiya." I reply before Delic can introduce me as 'Chibiya'.

"And you're here _together_?" she smiles, reaching for two heavy glasses.

"Yes." I say as I watch her fill the mugs from an odd spout thing.

"Awesome! Delic he's adorable! I'm so jealous!" she squeals as she hands me the cup filled with golden liquid. Delic laughs as he takes his own.

"You have Walker." he tells her.

"Walker works late at the bookstore now. At least he gets to bring home discounted manga!" she chirps.

"Ready?" Delic asks me after he finishes laughing at the brunette woman's story.

I nod, and we both take a sip simultaneously.

"BLEGH!" I spit, holding the glass away from me like it's on fire.

"Really? That bad, huh?" he grins, taking another hefty gulp from his own beer.

"It tastes like...sadness." I say, trying to wipe the taste away from my tongue.

"Sadness?"

"You know, like if I ever wanted to cause myself physical pain on purpose, I'd drink that."

"..."

"Maybe I'm just not a beer drinker." I suggest as I look around the bar. "Oh, by the way, are you just a musician or do you work here too like Erika?"

"Usually I bartend, but tonight I'm playing. We have another few songs and then I'll be free to leave. Saburo wants to get wasted after, but I may tell him no..."

"Wasted? Like trash?"

"It means we won't be sober tonight." he says.

"Like, drunk?"

"No. He wants to get high."

"...We're drinking on the roof?"

At this, he spits out some beer because he's laughing so hard at me. I put my hands on my hips and glare at him, but it seems to do little to make him stop.

"Chibiya, you're fucking _hilarious_." he manages between bouts of laughter.

"You just laugh at stupid things!"

"Alright, I can't wait to see how you act high. We're going. Come on, let's go tell Kadota and Saburo." Delic says, still smiling as he takes my hand and leads me through the throng of people. The two men are in the back of the establishment.

"Hibiya!" Kadota says as he makes toward me.

"No." Delic says firmly. The other man is just sitting there with a bored look on his face.

"This your newest victim, Delic?" he asks.

"No. He's staying with me until he finds his own place." the blonde informs them. "Do you stll have your stash?"

"Yeah. I smoked two bowls, but there's still plenty. So you guys are in?"

"Yep. We have to get little Chibiya fucked up." Delic laughs, looping an arm around my waist.

"...What language are you guys speaking? Because I really don't think I know it." I speak up.

"Haha, yeah he'll be pretty funny on weed." the man I assume is named 'Saburo' says. "Anyway, we're going on in like 15 minutes."

"Yeah I know. Let me go help him find a seat where I can see him." Delic says as he nudges me with his hips.

I'm tugged through the people again as he helps me find a table up front.

"Be good, alright? I can see you from here so if anyone tries anything, I can stop them." he says as he looms over me in my chair.

"Fine, fine. I'm glad to be closer to the stage anyway. Now I can see you properly." I shrug. He leans down and nuzzles into my neck.

"The next song is just for you."

I don't know why, but that sends a wave of heat through me. I loop my arms around his neck and pull him close.

"Delic..."

We stay like this for a moment or two, before he pulls away and gives me a chaste kiss on the temple again.

"Wait!" I call at his retreating form.

"What?"

"Do they sell apple juice here?"

"..."

He's laughing as he walks away again.

* * *

The rest of the night consisted of Delic on and off stage. When they were playing, I was captivated by it. The song Delic said was for me was so... I don't know the word for it.

It was sexual of course, but it was also sweet. I can't describe it. He said he wrote it when he was struggling with his sobriety.

When they were off stage, I was there with them. Kadota was actually being well mannered most of the night while Saburo was drooling on himself. I found out that he was what Delic calls 'high'.

Now, we're walking behind the stage. This bar apparently stays open all night, but the night shift is leaving. It's really late. Or is it considered early now? I can't tell you.

All I know is that I'm filled with such excitement that I'm not tired at all.

There's a little table behind the stage where the bands usually sit and relax between sets. We all take a seat and start pleasant conversation as Saburo takes something out of his pocket.

It's a little bag of...green leaves. He's pulling them apart and stuffing them in what Kadota referred to as a 'pipe'.

Then, he places the narrow end of the pipe in his mouth and lights the thick end, inhaling deeply. He does this again before he passes it to Kadota, who does the same thing. Then Delic goes.

The blonde hands the pipe to me, but I'm scared. I've never smoked before, but I know this is different than cigarettes just by the smell. My father used to smoke cigars, but this smells _nothing _like those did.

"Scared?" Delic asks me. I nod.

"Shotgun it to him." Saburo suggests as he leans back in his chair.

"Shotgun?" I ask, confused.

Delic considers this for a moment before he sighs.

"Alright, when I give the signal, open your mouth, Chibiya. Then when I blow the smoke in, I want you to inhale through your mouth. Okay?"

"...You're blowing smoke into me?"

He grins before he takes another long puff on the pipe and then he leans toward me, raising his hand in what I guess is the signal. I do as I was instructed and open my mouth.

Then his mouth is on mine.

I've never been kissed before, but I know this isn't how it's supposed to feel. He had his hands on my shoulders as he starts to exhale the smoke into my mouth. I try to inhale it, but it really burns. I start to cough.

He pulls away, laughing a little.

"Sorry. I gave you a lot. Maybe you should pass your next turn."

"No. I need two turns like everyone got." I sputter, still coughing.

He waits until I catch my breath before he agrees.

"If you want a hint, it's easier to inhale it twice. You want to get it in your lungs as best as you can, but don't swallow it or it'll burn like hell." he says before he lights it again.

This time, I'm the one who pulls him closer when his mouth meets mine. He growls a little as he blows the smoke into me. I try to take a deep breath, followed by another but then...

Delic licks my bottom lip.

This shocks me so much that I accidentally swallow all the smoke and immediately start coughing up my lungs. He places a hand on my back as he passes the pipe.

"Y-You bastard!" I hiss.

"Heh. Couldn't resist." he grins.

When the pipe reaches me again, I try to do it myself, but I can't get the damn thing to light.

"It's cashed." Saburo says, reaching for it. He fills it with more leaves and then hands it to me again.

I manage to light it and get a generous amount. I try to hold it in as best as I can, but it's hard when Delic is watching me so intently. I cough again, but not nearly as bad as before. I take another hit before I hand it back to Saburo again.

We continue to do this until the pipe is empty again. By my third turn, Delic announced to the group that I was high. I don't understand, because we're still in the chairs and not on the roof, but it's just _hilarious_ that he would say that for some reason.

I bust out laughing.

I don't know why, but everything feels..._real _right now.

Like, I can finally see colors in the right light or something now.

Delic is leaning on me, joining in with my laughter. Maybe he gets the joke I'm laughing at. I'll have to have him explain to me why we're laughing, because I already forgot.

Saburo is telling some story, but I can't really hear him. My heart is beating so loud that I can hear it in my ears and it's drowning everything else.

It's like I feel weightless right now. All the worries I've had since leaving are just _gone_. They've been erased by whatever was in that pipe, and I feel happy for the first time in ages.

If this is how it feels to be high, I never want to come back down.

* * *

_Sachi: Ah, high Hibiya. Such sweet ignorance._

_ Hibiya: I'm not ignorant! _

_ Delic: Can I use this state to get some action?_

_ Sachi: It's too early for action, my little nympho! I'm thinking next chapter we go more into Hibiya's back story. I'm going to release so many skeletons from his closet that you'll be like, "WTF?"_

_ Hibiya: Should I be scared?_

_ Sachi: Duh. Anyway, review for love!_

_ Delic: And beer!_


	6. Chapter 6

_Time for another chapter of dear, ignorant Chibiya~! I must say, this story gets reviewed like crazy! I was worried at first, that most people would abandon it because of the OOC Hibiya, but most of you seem to be quite pleased with it! Now, time for the virtual love! __mikasiam 71192__, haha, you gave me beer? It DOES taste like sadness! (I used my own words last chapter) I'm glad you think it's funny! __S. Oyabun__, damn straight I get Izaya! Hahaha! __Paranormal Alchemist__, yeah, he's a little bad in this story. If you're mad at him now, just wait. __Threegreenbeans__, that's still huffin' hilarious! It was supposed to give you a contact high. __Nelniel__, I do bribe you guys on purpose! I don't want responsibility for your death, so take this chapter! __jusqualafin__, I NEVER abandon stories! I couldn't do that! I'm glad you love it! __FallingforWerewolves__, I laughed when I was typing it. I love ignorant Hibiya~. __Marshmallows Rule The World__, haha, 'EPIC' is a great word to describe the vibe I'm going for! __Shiroi Hana__, we can all hug Hibiya together! And yes, Delic IS awesome! __Burning-Petals__, I'm glad you like it! Anyway guys, in case you're wondering why I write these little notes to you, it's to thank all of you. I've noticed that in most stories that have a high number of reviews, the authors never reply to them. It's like they think they're better or something! Anyway, I like to make these personal since you guys all stick with me and leave me your thoughts. So I promise, no matter how many reviews I get per chapter, you'll all get your thanks! I love you too much to ignore you! So, on with the story~!_

* * *

_Low_

I wake up completely lost. I feel really heavy, like I'm wearing cinderblocks or something. I mentally prepare myself to get up, but I fall down instantly. I decide that if Delic wants me off his couch, he can just carry me somewhere else.

"You alright over there?" his deep voice fills my head.

"Ugh." I manage, turning to look at him. Then I'm hit with confusion.

How is he lying beside me on the small couch?

...We're in his bed.

Together.

I must give him a look of fear, because he grins reassuringly at me.

"Relax. We both passed out last night after I carried you home. Nothing happened." he says.

"Then why am I not on the couch?"

"You were clinging to me like a little koala bear. I didn't want you to wake up lonely~." Delic grins.

"I do not _cling_." I inform him.

"Fine, whatever you want to call it. It involved locking your arms and legs around me in a vice grip. So what do you think it was?" he asks me, his voice filled with amusement.

"...Me being high."

"Speaking of which, you were _hilarious_ last night. Kadota and Saburo said whenever you want to come watch us play again, you're more than welcome to by them."

"What about you?" I ask, hopeful.

"...I'm worried about the crowds, but I'd like to watch you while we play again. It was nice having someone to direct the songs to."

"I feel like I won something." I smirk, elated that he's finally willing to release the leash he's had me on.

"If you're nice, you'll win a cup of coffee." he says.

At the mention of the word, I look up at him hopefully. He laughs at me before he reaches over to ruffle my hair.

"Fine, fine. I'll go make you some coffee because you're so damn cute." he says as he stands up. He's still wearing his clothes from the night before. I look down and notice that I am too.

How unsanitary.

"Delic... Is it okay if I use your shower?" I ask him as I walk toward the door. I hear him stop walking.

"...You just keep testing me, Chibiya..." he mutters to himself.

"Huh?" I'm confused by this point.

"Sure. Lock the door." he says.

I don't see _why _I have to lock the door when it's just the two of us here, but I'll do it anyway if that's what he wants.

I shower greedily. I haven't had a proper shower since I left my grandparent's house. It's been rest stop showers the whole way here. The hot water feels like Heaven as it pours over me. I decide to hurry though, since it's not my hot water to waste.

Once I get a job, I'll help pay rent-

Oh, wait... Once I get a job, I'll make money and then...

I can get my own place.

Why does that seem so scary now? It was so _exciting _until I met Delic! I was thrilled about being independent!

Now though... I just want to stay here.

I sigh as I shut the water off and pull a towel out of the closet. Then I realize... I didn't bring any clothes in here.

Cursing to myself, I open the door a little and peek out to make sure Delic isn't able to see me. Then I wrap the towel around my waist and flee toward my bag. I grin in triumph when I pull out a clean outfit, then I turn back toward the bathroom.

Delic is standing in the kitchen, watching me.

"I uh...forgot my stuff..." I explain. His eyes are wide open and observing my exposed torso.

He's probably mad that I'm dripping water on his floor.

"I'm sorry!" I say hurriedly going back to the bathroom to get dressed. After I'm presentable, I open the door again and drag my towel to clean the wet trail I made on Delic's floor.

"Chibiya, come drink your coffee before it gets cold." he calls from the kitchen.

I walk in the room and he looks at my clothes for today. I'm wearing a bright white shirt that has sleeves that go halfway down my arm and black dress pants. Like I said, I don't really have casual clothes.

He shakes his head at me and gives me my coffee.

"What?" I huff at his pained expression.

"You're making this really hard for me." he sighs.

"Huh? What did I do?"

"Running through my apartment half naked?"

"...I said I was sorry! I cleaned your floor so you have no reason to be upset with me." I defend.

"I'm not upset with you! I just... Never mind, just drop it." he sighs, holding his temples.

I'm really an awful person. I'm staying here for free and I'm already on his nerves.

"I... I'll start looking for a place today..." I say halfheartedly as I sip the coffee he made for me. I've been here for two nights and he already knows how I drink it.

"Huh? Already?" he asks, obviously taken aback.

"I can't stay here forever. And if I'm already on your nerves... It's for the best." I say.

"You're not on my nerves at all. I love having you here."

"Then... What's wrong?"

He narrows his eyes at me as he gulps down the rest of his coffee.

"I'm a sexaholic, Chibiya. What do you _think _is wrong?" he snarls.

"...Oh..." I frown. Honestly, I forgot already that he was a nympho.

We sit in silence for a little while, before I speak up in a small voice.

"I... I can help you out..." I suggest. He looks up at me in alarm.

"_What_?"

"When I find a job, I can help you out. I'll pay you whatever I owe you."

His face relaxes as he observes me.

"You really need to learn to watch what you say..." he sighs.

"Eh?"

"Are you afraid of living alone?" he inquires.

Am I? I really don't know. I've never lived alone before, so I have nothing to compare it to. I know the _idea _terrifies me.

I don't want to be alone.

"I think I am..." I admit, keeping my eyes on the table.

"Then just stay here."

"But..."

"Look, you can help me with bills when you find a job. I really...want you to stay here. I don't want to be alone either." he tells me truthfully.

"What about...your problem?" I ask, referring to his sex addiction.

"I've been good for three weeks. It'll be okay." he grins.

I feel so bad about his hospitality. I really do like Delic. I find him to be devilishly handsome and...if he wanted to have sex with me, I'd more than allow it. However...

I've been ruined for sex.

"I'm off tonight. What do you want to do?" he asks me, breaking me from my sad thoughts.

"Tonight? What about today?" I ask, confused.

"Chibiya, it's past 4pm. We slept all day." he laughs.

"Past _4_?" I squeak. I've never slept so late in my life! But, we were out till sunrise.

"Yeah. I woke up a little before you, but I couldn't bear to wake you up when you looked so adorable nibbling on the pillow." he says.

"Nibbling?"

"You looked like you were trying to eat the pillow."

"I must have still had the munchies."

"Haha, maybe. Anyway, I was thinking we could get some beer and-" he starts.

"I really don't want to drink more sadness." I inform him, sipping my coffee.

"...Well, what do you like to drink?" he asks.

"Vodka." I answer immediately.

"Vodka? That's some strong shit."

"Indeed. I like it because it burns too much to have a taste for long."

My father always drank vodka. _Always_. It was the only thing I could find in the house to make it more bearable to live there. I wouldn't say I have a drinking problem now, but I used to. When I lived at home, I _needed _it.

"Hmmm, then let's go get some." he smiles, standing. It's only then that I realize he's dressed for the day too. He must have changed while I was in the shower. He's wearing simple jeans and a T-shirt, but he looks amazing anyway.

Damn, I think I have a crush on him.

"That's fine." I say, drinking the rest of my coffee. Like I would ever waste it!

We leave the building and walk down the street a little ways. I find out that Delic lives very close to the liquor store, about a block away. We walk inside and I immediately find the brand of vodka my father used to drink. Delic comes up behind me.

"I still can't believe you like vodka." he says.

"What's wrong with it?"

"You're just so...small. And vodka's so strong." he shrugs.

"Are you drinking it too?" I ask.

"I may drink a little. I'm more up for beer though." he grins, holding up some expensive looking bottles. "I called Kadota and Saburo. They're coming too. I hope you don't mind, but I don't trust myself around you if we're both drunk."

"...Oh, okay." I say. In all honestly, I wanted to be alone with him, but I'll deal with it.

We pay for our items and leave the store. As we're walking, I manage to brush his free hand with mine. I'm pleased when he gets the idea and wraps our hands together.

"Chibiya likes holding hands?" he asks happily.

"I like holding _your _hand." I correct him, meeting his gaze when he looks sideways at me.

"...There you go again...making this hard for me." he sighs, but it's not an unhappy sigh. There's a lopsided grin glued to his face.

"Yep. I like making things hard." I joke.

He almost trips.

"Delic?" I ask worriedly as he recovers from his stumble.

"Y-You're too innocent for your own good." he sputters, his face red.

I really don't get him sometimes.

We arrive back at his place and I put the large bottle on the counter. Delic puts his beers beside my vodka and he nudges me accidentally as he reaches over me to arrange them neatly.

"Oh, sorry." he says as he turns to me.

I realize that our faces are very close together.

"It's okay..." I say in a breathy voice I didn't even know I possessed. His eyes are darker than I remember them being. His hands find my hips and he leans in a little, brushing his lips against mine lightly. He stops, obviously frustrated with himself.

"Delic... I want you to kiss me." I whisper to him, noticing how his eyes widen at my confession. I wrap my arms around his neck and stand on my toes, connecting our lips again a little more forcefully.

He sighs and moves his hands from my hips to my face, pulling me closer to him. He brushes his tongue along my lips, but I don't know what that means.

"Open." he growls.

I open my mouth and immediately his tongue is inside. I release a whimper as his tongue brushes against mine in its sweep of my mouth. Acting on impulse, I wrap mine around his. He agrees with this I suppose because he shoves his tongue in further if that's possible.

"Christ..." he hisses as we part for breath. "You... You taste so fucking good."

"Ah... You do too." I sigh blissfully, trying to connect our mouths again. He stops me.

"I want to, Chibiya. I really do. But... I don't want to go any further right now... You're not ready for it." he tells me.

"For...what?" I ask.

"I want you. I want you too bad for either of our own good. But... I can't have you yet..."

"...Why?"

"Fuck..." he hisses, untangling himself from me. "Because of _that_! You're too...innocent! I just... I can't yet..."

I look at the floor dejectedly, leaning against the counter. Of course he feels that way. Why would anyone want to kiss someone who never kissed anyone before? Delic has so many other people who want him. They all have more to offer him.

I'm just...a nobody with an important last name.

"Chibiya..." he whispers, caressing my face. I jerk out of the touch.

"I understand." I tell him. "I've been ruined for this sort of thing anyway..."

"Ruined? What are you-"

But there's a knock at the door, and he goes to answer it, still watching me worriedly.

"Delic! Hibiya!" Kadota enters the apartment, obviously already messed up on something.

"We've been dipping into my hash stash." Saburo explains. It's funny, because when they're high, they're like this. Saburo is mellow and Kadota is hyper. But when they're sober, they're completely opposite.

I'm still against the counter, feeling all the old feelings from home wash over me. I remember thinking back then that I would never find anyone willing to be with me when they found out I was ruined for sex. No one would.

No one ever would.

I snatch the bottle of vodka from the counter and open it like a pro, before I take a long drink from it. Honestly, I'm pissed off right now. Not at Delic, but at myself. I let myself hope.

That was a mistake.

"Chibiya..." Delic says worriedly from somewhere.

"Damn! He drinks like a fish! Is that vodka?" Kadota asks.

"That's that shit that burns really bad." Saburo says, his voice full of distaste.

Indeed, it does burn really bad. I like the burn though; I always have. It reminds me that I can still feel pain. Through everything, I can still feel.

If I can still feel, I'll never end up like my father.

Swallowing the large amount I just drank, I immediately raise the bottle to my mouth and take another large gulp. Large hands lower the bottle away from me.

"Take it easy..." Delic pleads in my ear.

"I am taking it easy. I could already have this whole bottle gone, but I'm pacing myself." I say bitterly.

"Oh, let him drink! It's a party!" Kadota grins, taking one of his own beers that he and Saburo brought. Looks like I'm the only one drinking hard stuff tonight.

"Kadota..." Delic says disapprovingly as the brunette tips the bottle back into my grasp.

"What? If he's as funny drunk as he is high, I'm looking forward to this."

Immediately, I take another swig of the clear liquid. Delic reaches over again, but he takes the bottle from me entirely this time. He takes a long drink of it too.

I watch him as he drinks just as much as I just did, before he hands me the bottle again, a look of pain on his face.

"That shit really does burn." he hisses.

"It's supposed to..." I inform him, matching his long gulp and drinking more than I did before. I hand it to him again when I'm through, and he drinks more as well.

Between the two of us, we empty the entire bottle.

"You...don't like vodka..." I slur. "So why'd ya drink it?"

"So you wouldn't down the whole...bottle by yourself..." he answers me, leaning a little into the counter.

"Want more alcohol?" Kadota asks me, handing me a beer.

"You're not supposed to mix beer with vodka." Delic snarls, reaching to take the beer from me. I snatch it out of his grasp and guzzle the entire can, wincing at the sadness taste of it.

They're all watching me, Kadota in excitement, Saburo in interest, and Delic in horror.

"Chibiya! You're going to get sick!" he tells me.

"Good." I sigh, crushing the can.

I don't know how much time had passed, but I know that it's dark outside now and everyone here is drunk, not just me. The only difference in how I feel now compared to how I felt at home, is that the pain is deeper.

Because I allowed myself to hope, and I'm paying for it now. Delic is beside me on the couch, leaning against me. I don't know if he's unconscious or if he's just there. Saburo and Kadota are sitting in kitchen chairs that they dragged in here across from us.

They're talking about sex.

"Heh, and I fucked her anywaaaayyyy..." Saburo slurred, punching Kadota's arm playfully.

"I remember that! He was pissed at you for _weeks_." Kadota replied.

"What about you, Hibiya? Surely one as pretty as you has some sexy secrets to tell?" Saburo asks me. I laugh bitterly.

"No. I can't ever... I'm ruined for sex..."

"Ruined? I can help you~" Kadota grins, touching my thigh. Delic slaps his hand away, growling in warning.

So he _is _awake.

"What do you mean by that?" Saburo asks me, ignoring the drunken exchange between the two men.

"I just can't... I can't..."

"C'mon, tell us! We can fix it!" Kadota slurs, kicking my foot with his.

"Stop... I don't' want to-"

"But now I'm curious." Kadota interjects.

Delic places a calming hand on my thigh and I'm reminded of why I'm in such a foul mood tonight when his touches land on me.

"You can go ask my father." I spit.

"...Huh?" Saburo blinks in confusion.

"I've been...trying to keep him out of my pants since I was 9..." I slur, giggling a little at their faces. "And I can't ever do anything sexual, because I still see him sometimes in my mind..."

"Chibiya..." Delic says quietly.

"Hahahaha...it's so funny... SO FUNNY! He ruined me! I'm forever going to be alone! HAHAHA!" I screech, falling into a laughing fit. I'm aware they're all worried now, but I'm too far gone to care.

Until I see Delic's face.

He's looking at me like he thinks I'm about to break.

And it's then that I realize this isn't funny.

My shaking with suppressed laughter turns into shaking from sobs. I'm unable to stop the cries from leaving me, and they fall away from me in a ripping noise.

Delic's arms fly around me and he's whispering in my ear, but I can't hear him right now.

All I can think of is how ruined I am.

* * *

_Sachi: Ah, sad chapter. This is one of many to come. Like I said, this isn't going to be a happy story._

_ Hibiya: Why am I always either high or drunk?_

_Sachi: Because you're more fun that way~!_

_ Delic: I liked the part where I got action. The end pissed me off._

_ Sachi: Ah, I'm sure it'll piss a lot of readers off. Anywho, review pleeeease!_

_ Hibiya: If you review, it's the same as giving me a hug!_


	7. Chapter 7

_You guys reviewed nicely again! Haha, I was trying to make it unexpected, but I knew a few of you would catch on~. Anywho, I had time to update quickly. I'm off tomorrow, so I'll probably crash all day if I can. I'm huffin' TIRED! But, I may update 'Fix You' just to keep them all in sync... anywho, time for the love! __nazupii__, he needed that hug! __Threegreenbeans__, the new layout IS weird! I did a double take at it! __Logic Dive__, bahahaha, Delic is rather well behaved, ne? But it's what Hibiya needs right now! __S. Oyabun__, he is innocent! __Marshmallows Rule The World__, I shall send your love! __Shiroi Hana__, thank you! I'm so glad you love my stories! __Paranormal Alchemist__, beat his father! I'll help you! __FallingforWerewolves__, it's a good thing! It just means you recognize plot twists. __jusqualafin__, I'm glad you love my Hibi-chan! More of the back story will be revealed in this chapter. I love you guys! Here's an early update as a present! On with the story!_

* * *

_Story_

The little raven haired boy sat in his room, alone. His mommy and daddy were fighting again.

They were always fighting.

Mommy liked her alcohol, but got mad at Daddy for drinking _his _alcohol.

Little Hibiya didn't understand the argument, but he knew well enough to stay out of it. Mommy and Daddy liked to get violent sometimes.

The shouts grew louder from downstairs. The maid walked in.

"Hibiya-sama, would you like some cookies?" she asked nicely, frowning at the noise from below.

"No thanks. Mommy will be mad if I spoil my dinner."

"Such a good little prince." she said affectionately. The boy smiled because it was still a compliment then.

The stupid little imbecile.

She left him alone. He fell back on the mattress and gloomily looked at the ceiling. He tried to remember a single night where his parents weren't fighting.

There were footsteps on the stairs. Little Hibiya sat up again, waiting to see if someone would call upon him. His father walked in.

"Hey my little prince." the Daddy said nicely, opening his arms so the boy could hug him.

Little Hibiya thought the world of his father, like any 10 year old would.

Stupid little boy.

Sometimes the Daddy would just hold him nicely. Sometimes his hands would wander. Hibiya didn't know what it meant when his Daddy did this.

The Daddy's hands went to the button of his pants.

"F-Father-"

He never called his Daddy "Daddy" out loud. Last time he did, he got slapped.

"We're playing the game I taught you." the Daddy said simply, continuing his work. The game had started a year ago, and it always made Hibiya feel uncomfortable, but it was nice that his Daddy was paying attention to him.

Usually it was just touching, but this time it was different. The Daddy was trying to take off all of his clothes.

"I- I don't like this game anymore..." little Hibiya whimpered, trying to jerk free of his Daddy's strong grip.

"You will do as you're told, young man." was the sharp reply he was given.

The Daddy's hands were roaming everywhere, making the poor little boy feel miserable and terrified all at once...

Then the door opened and the nice maid from before came back in.

The next few minutes were unbearable for the little boy to watch. The Daddy was screaming at her and throwing things while he frantically tried to button his own pants. Hibiya replaced his own clothes and watched in silence as the maid was beaten.

Then the shouts left his room and continued downstairs. Moments later, his Mommy walked in.

"Are you alright, darling?" she asked, hugging him close.

"W-Why does Father want to play such games with me?" he asked her as he tried to hold back tears. Crying was forbidden in their household.

"What sort of games?" she asked him.

When he told her, her face went white. She told him he was imagining things. He argued.

He was slapped by his Mommy.

The Daddy walked back in, observing the scene with his golden eyes.

"What were you doing with Hibiya?" the Mommy asked him sternly.

"We were just playing a game, right son?"

Just a game.

Just a game.

_Just a..._

* * *

I wake up screaming. Usually I never allow myself to remember what happened that night, but this time...

I couldn't stop it.

The terror is over me as horribly as it was that night. This is why I never allow myself to remember, because it feels like I'm being suffocated.

"Shhhh..." Delic says from beside me.

"D-Delic?" I ask stupidly. I know it's him. I just want to hear him talk to me.

So I can be reminded that I'm not alone.

"I'm here, Chibiya."

I whimper and crawl towards him, burying my face in his chest. I realize we're in his bed again, but I dismiss the thought as soon as it creeps in my head.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry." I say, my voice muffled.

"Why the _fuck _are you sorry?" he asks me, petting my hair.

"I ruined your party! I'm so sorry..."

"_Chibiya_!" he snarls, yanking me away from his chest so he can glare at me. "Never say that to me again! Nothing is your fault!"

Not my fault?

No one's ever said that to me before.

Overcome with a fresh wave of hysteria, mixed with the pain that comes with a hangover, I start to sob in his chest harder.

"Please...stop crying..." he whispers, holding me close.

"I hate him." I say to no one in particular. "I hate him so much! He ruined me! HE'S RUINED ME!"

"You're not ruined! It's alright, baby, it's _alright_. He can't touch you here."

"He doesn't know where I am... If he knew, he'd do it again, and again, and again, and again, and-"

"Stop! He won't come here! And if he does, I'll fucking rip his face off!" Delic snarls. "I'm the one who's sorry, Chibiya. No one should ever have to go through that..."

"I wasn't lying." I say quietly. "When I said I was a virgin, I wasn't lying... He never...did _that_ to me...because I stopped him..."

"You stopped him?"

"It was always a game, always... When I turned 15, he tried to up the stakes b-but... I started telling people... My Mother never believed me. She said I was a liar..."

His hands are on my back, moving to try and soothe me.

"When word got around that I was talking, they sent me away."

"Sent you _away_?" he asks incredulously.

"Yes. I was sent to a boarding school. My parents would rather me disappear so they could save face in the public media. That's when I really decided to...leave them forever..."

"Chibiya..."

"So I stayed at that school until I turned 18, then I dropped out and moved in with my grandparents. A week ago, I boarded a bus and rode it here."

"I'm so sorry... If I ever meet your father I'm going to _kill _him." Delic snarls.

"He's not worth it. He's not... I hate him, Delic. I hate him!" I say, the cries starting again.

"Shhhh, I know..." he sighs, burying his face in my hair. My hands are tangling in his shirt as I try to convince myself that he's really beside me and that I'm really safe.

"You're staying here with me. And...we'll work through this, alright? I'll do whatever I can to help you..." he says quietly.

"D-Delic... I...need you to help me now..." I whimper, cuddling closer to him.

"What? What can I do?" he asks.

I take his hand and guide it to the front of my dark pants that I'm still wearing from last night.

"C-Chibiya I-"

"_Please_. I need to...move past his touch..." I beg. His eyes are pained as he looks at me.

"I'm not the one to help you... I'm just as bad as he is..." he says.

"No. You're the one I need, Delic. It has to be you."

He bites his lip and forces his hand against my groin with more force.

"_Ahh_, like that..." I sigh, rolling my hips a little into his touch.

"Fuck, Chibiya..." he groans as he unbuttons my pants. For an instant, I feel like it's my Father doing this to me, and I cling to Delic as I try to forget...

The way my Father looked at me...

"You're crying again..." he sighs, stopping the motion of his hand.

"N-No I just... Please, don't stop..."

He looks at me skeptically before he unzips the fabric and pulls it down revealing my boxers.

"I've wanted this...but I knew I shouldn't have..." he admits as he palms me through the thin fabric.

"Mmmm, it feels...g-good..." I manage.

His lips are at my ear now.

"I want you." he says so fiercely it makes my head spin like I was just submerged in water.

I try to find his lips with mine, but I realize mine are trembling too much. He'll notice if I kiss him. So I bite on his shoulder instead.

"Fuck..." he hisses, thrusting his hand in my boxers and grabbing my arousal with his large hand. He starts to move, up and down, up and down. It's a motion I know too well.

"Ah, ah, ah..." I moan with his ministrations, trying to keep my mind away from where it's going.

"You're so sexy..." he says from somewhere. I know he's involved in this moment, so why can't I be here with him?

I can't even feel his hand anymore. It's like he's doing it to someone else. All I can think of is how much I can't have this. How filthy I am. What a liar I am.

What a _prince _I am.

_"It's a game."_

"Chibiya!" he screams, shaking my shoulders with both hands. I realize that he stopped trying to help me.

"Wha-"

"You were screaming!" he says frantically.

He looks so scared.

"I...I'm sorry..."

He puts his hands back on my pants, but to pull them up this time.

"P-Please, don't stop..." I beg him.

"You're not ready for this. Why are you rushing yourself?" he asks me, his face verging on angry.

"I thought...doing this would help me get past whatever is plaguing me..." I admit.

"Or make it worse! Christ, do you have any idea how loudly you were crying just now? Your body is telling you something."

"That I'm ruined." I sigh, agreeing with him sadly.

"Don't fucking start that again! It's telling you to wait!" he snarls. I look at him with tear filled eyes.

"B-But...you want it now..."

His glare softens and his arms wrap around me.

"I'll want it more when you want it too." he tells me.

"What if I'm never ready?" I inquire fearfully.

"You will be. I'll be here when you are, I promise."

I scoot closer to him, connecting our lips in a gentle kiss.

"Are you sure this is okay?" he asks me, referring to the kiss.

"He never kissed me. Never. You're the first." I say, kissing him again. He grins against my lips and deepens it, accessing my mouth.

"That's one thing I love about you." he whispers when we part. "I get to be your first everything."

"I want you to be my first everything." I confess, looking deep into his bright eyes. He kisses me again, and again, and _again_.

Finally, I see the silver lining in this situation. Even if I'm ruined, it brought me to Delic.

And maybe, just maybe, he can help piece me back together.

* * *

_Sachi: Poor little Hibi-chan. I try to help him grow up and all I do is cause him pain._

_ Hibiya: Your vulgarity knows no bounds! This chapter was pure indecent!_

_ Sachi: ...Thanks?_

_ Delic: Shouldn't you be sleeping? You've been at work all day._

_ Sachi: You just want to get in my bed._

_ Delic: ..._

_ Sachi: You'll find it hard to fit with Izaya in there! Muahahaha!_

_ Hibiya: Review her pathetic story so she'll stop talking to me about it._

_ Sachi: Hey!_

_ Delic: Review and I'll warm up ALL your beds!_

_ Hibiya: HEY!_


	8. Chapter 8

_Once again, the reviews on this story have rendered me speechless! I can't believe the support dear Hibi-chan gets! Time for the virtual love! __Paranormal Alchemist__, good job! Beat them again! __Logic Dive__, Thank yooou! I'll get fat from your cookies! __Marshmallows Rule The World__, y-you have a shrine of me? I hope you used a good picture! Haha, here's an update for you! __nazupii__, read them all you want! I love your nice reviews! __Ginkgo__, haha, if my updates keep your bed warm then I guess your bed is mega hot right now? *wink* __Shiroi Hana__, don't neglect important things! I swear, my updates will be there when there's nothing else going on! I love your dedication! __FallingforWerewolves__, it's one of the saddest things I've ever written! __S. Oyabun__, the wait is over! __Burning-Petals__, I love you too! __AllTheLovelyBrains__, I know it was very sad... Sorry! __Akin__, oh no, I've been Saika'ed! Thank you for being in love with the story! You guys are so awesome, and you make me want to update more! On with the huffin' story!_

* * *

_Versatile_

Delic and I stayed in bed all day. I know that probably sounds more promising than it really is. He managed to roll on top of me and shove his tongue down my throat, but anything more than that would've put me in a state of hysteria.

I gave a lot of thought to what he said. Maybe I'm really just not ready? I've read so much about traumatic experiences and how people deal with them. I guess what happened to me is considered a traumatic experience.

I don't want to think about it.

Delic has work again. Tonight, he has to bartend. He said he wasn't sure when his next gig for the band is.

Either way, I'm going with him tonight. We agreed I shouldn't be alone.

I had to take a shower again because I slept in the same clothes I wore last night. I spent 5 minutes trying to convince Delic to shower with me, you know, to help me feel more comfortable around such situations. Needless to say, it didn't work. He ended up shoving me in the bathroom so I couldn't persuade him anymore.

When I emerged, he shoved past me and took a quick shower of his own. I know how difficult I'm making his sobriety by being so needy. I guess I need to tone it down, since I'm not ready for such things anyway.

I'm putting my faith in Delic, and when I'm ready, we'll both know.

Currently, we're walking to the bar.

"Alright, I'll be right beside you all night. The bar area is usually not that crowded because everyone is at tables with their friends. All you have to do is sit there and not talk to the drunk people." he tells me like I'm 4.

"Relax. I was there the other night without your constant supervision and I did just fine." I remind him blandly.

"If I hadn't stepped in, that drunk guy would've had you." he says.

"...Touché."

When we arrive, he grabs my hand and leads me to a stool to sit on at the bar. There's a man beside me, but he seems relatively straight, since he's all over this poor woman.

"Stay here. I'll be right back." Delic tells me. "I have to go clock in."

"Fine, fine. I'll be here." I sigh.

As he walks away, I look around again. It seems so much smaller from this angle. I wish their bad was playing tonight. The music that's blaring over the speakers is awful. It could actually _drive _me to drink.

"Hibi-chan?" a female voice asks from behind me.

I turn and see Erika at the bar. I assume she's about to get off, since Delic is taking her spot.

"Hello, Erika." I greet.

"You look so cute tonight!" she squeals.

Delic said the same thing, but in a less girly fashion. Okay, actually he said I looked so cute he wanted to force me down and make me scream his name, but that was the basic gist of it.

I think.

I'm wearing one of Delic's hoodies. I didn't want to wear my clothes, because they're so...fancy compared to what everyone else wears. It's a simple gray hoodie, paired with my own black jeans and shoes. My hair is a little shaggier than I'm used to it being too.

"T-Thanks." I say. "You look nice too."

She's wearing...not much of anything. Delic explained to me that women seemed to make more money when they showed more skin, but I think that's unfair.

Indeed, she's wearing a black tank top and a little jean skirt. She's wearing heels with it. I feel like that can't be easy to work in, but if that's her fashion, more power to her.

"Is Delic here already?" she asks me.

"Yes. He's talking to his boss."

"Thank _God_." she sighs. "I have to go study for my Spanish test."

"You're in school?" I ask. She just doesn't seem the college type.

"Yeah. I started last semester. Honestly, I hate it, but I don't wanna work here forever." she says. "Are you in school at all?"

"No. I don't really want to be." I say.

"I hear that. I'm studying to be a beautician. My parents are making me at least take the core classes at the community college so if I change my mind, I can go to school for something else. It's all easy enough besides my Spanish class." she huffs.

"I'm fluent in Spanish." I remark.

"You _are_?"

"Yes. I can also speak French, German, Russian, and a little Italian."

She's staring at me with her mouth open.

"Let me get this straight... German, French, and Spanish?" she asks.

"Yes, and-"

"Do you know what those three have in common?"

"Um..."

Honestly, I have no clue. I was thinking that they were all Latin based, but German isn't Latin based at all. It's based off the Anglo-Saxon language.

"I have no idea." I shrug.

"They're all used in Lady Gaga songs!" she says.

"...What's a Lady Gaga?"

Once again, she's staring at me like I'm insane.

"You've never heard of Lady Gaga?"

"...No."

At this moment, Delic walks behind the bar to stand beside her.

"Delic! He doesn't know who Lady Gaga is!" she squeals.

"Lucky him."

I laugh at Erika's vexed expression. She scoots away from us and out of sight, with a promise that she'd be back in a moment.

"What even brought that topic up?" he asked me.

"Oh, I was telling her that I speak-" I start, but am interrupted by Erika's return. She sits down hard on the seat beside me, slamming an earphone in my right ear. The other is in her left.

"Listen to the sound of Heaven!" she says.

It's a bunch of noise at first. A woman's voice starts singing in with the clapping. I'm assuming this is Lady Gaga. Then, the voice changes into Spanish.

_"Mis canciones son de la revolucion. Mi corazon me duele por mi generacion."_

Erika is looking at me happily.

'Translate!" she says.

"My songs are of the revolution, my heart hurts for my generation." I quote. Really, that was simple stuff. Then again, I had a mean teacher.

"Ahhh, that's so cool~! You have to tutor me, Hibi-chan!" she says.

"Tutor you in what?" Delic asks after he wipes a glass clean.

"Spanish." I reply.

"You speak another language?" he frowns.

"He speaks _everything!_" Erika says for me. "I'm putting it on the German song next! I've always wanted to know what she was saying."

The ear bud in my ear starts blaring again.

_"Ich Shleiban austa be-clair, es kumpent madre monster, aus-be, aus-can-be flaugen, begun beske but-bair."_

I frown at this.

"That's not German."

"What do you mean? It says it is!"

"It's broken German, mixed with a little Spanish. I can't make any sense of the end at all, but the beginning basically is saying 'It is clear to me I'm mother monster' or something. The end part just seems...made up."

Delic is looking at me over the glass.

"What?" I ask.

"You speak German too?"

"And French, and Italian, and Russian." I say sheepishly.

"Oh, I should let you hear the French part!" Erika says happily.

Once again, the music in my ear is too loud to hear anything else. This time, I quote it out loud so Delic can be witness and not feel left out.

_"Je veux ton amour, et je veux ta revanche, J'veux ton amour." _I say.

"What's it mean?" Erika asks. I swear, I feel like her own personal search engine.

"I want your love, and I want your revenge, I want your love."

"Just like in the real song!"

"...Are you saying French isn't real?" I ask incredulously.

Delic's eyes are on me again. I can feel my skin heating up under his stare.

"W-What?"

"That's really fucking hot." he says.

"Oooh, how do you say 'I love you' in French, Hibi-chan? I'm gonna text it to Walker!" Erika says, getting her phone out from her purse.

"_Je t'aime."_

"Juh Tim?"

"...Let me type it." I sigh, taking her phone from her before she can cause any more damage to the French language.

When I'm done, I hand it back to her.

"Did you like Lady Gaga?" she asks me.

"I liked her okay. Those particular lyrics didn't suit me well, but she can sing." I say nicely.

"Those aren't her best! I just let you hear those so you could translate for me!"

"Easy, Erika. What time is Walker getting off work?" Delic asks, saving me.

"Eh? Not for two more hours." she huffs.

"Are you going home soon?" he asks her.

"I don't know. I get bored at the apartment by myself." she says, taking out some cash. "Get me a shot of whiskey."

He sighs before he takes her money and does as he's told.

"What do you drink?" she whispers to me when Delic's back is turned.

"Vodka. But if you get that, he'll automatically assume it's for me." I whisper back.

"Delic, I want some vodka to go. Walker just texted back." she announces.

"...Since when does Walker drink?" he asks coolly, his eyes on me.

"Since always. Besides, it's my money. Don't ask the customer questions~" she smirks.

He frowns, but gets a little bottle from behind the counter. It's not the same brand I drink, but it looks okay.

He hands it to her, along with her whiskey. She jerks it out of his grasp before he can take it back, and shoves it at me.

"Toast with me, Hibi-chan!" she smiles.

I open the tiny bottle, grinning at Delic's frown, before I toss it back with her.

"Chibiya." he says sternly.

"It's only a little. I won't drink anymore." I promise him.

"Since when does Delic not want his dates to get drunk?" Erika smiles. "I thought you liked when they got tipsy."

"Chibiya is different." he says.

"He is indeed. I like him~!" she says, throwing her arms around my neck. Instantly, I heat up.

I've never been hugged by a woman that I wasn't related to before.

"Oooh, did I make you embarrassed?" she asks as she backs up to look me in the eye.

"N-No."

"I did! Sorry, Hibi-chan. I thought someone as pretty as you got lots of hugs."

"No, never. Before Delic, the only people that hugged me were my grandparents."

"Your parents never did?"

The sinking feeling I had earlier is back. I look at the counter dejectedly.

"Their hugs don't count." I whimper. Delic's hands place themselves on either side of my face and he forces me to look up at him.

"We're past that now, right? Don't think about it anymore. I don't want you upset again." he says quietly.

"I'm fine." I smile, putting on a mask. It's a trick everyone in our family can do. My parents are masters of masking their true feelings. I have a feeling he can see through it though.

He places his lips against mine again, but this time it's meant to comfort me and not be heated. I kiss him back, letting my eyes close and the negative energy leave me. He hums into the kiss and I run my tongue along his lips, trying to get him to deepen it.

He does.

He has me pulled halfway on top of the counter when a man down the bar tries to get Delic's attention.

"Hey! Barkeep! I need a fuckin' drink! Do your job, ya fag!" he hisses.

Surprisingly, neither me nor Delic say a word.

"Hey! _Some _of us happen to like seeing sexy men kiss each other and if you don't, I suggest you go find another bar before I kick your drunk ass!" Erika yells over the music.

He looks at all of us in surprise, but makes no motion to leave.

Delic grins impishly and runs his tongue up my jawline before his lips land on my neck and he bites the skin a little.

"_Ah, _Delic~" I purr in my most sultry voice. Mind you, we're both putting a little too much effort in this, but he made us mad.

Glaring, the man gets up and walks to the other end of the bar where the exit is.

Laughing, I try to pull away, but Delic has a hold on me.

"I don't think so. The way you said my name just now has me all bothered." he sighs, kissing me again.

"D-Delic..."

I let him continue his assault on my mouth for a little bit, but then I realize this is a risky situation.

"What if your boss sees you?" I ask him. He nibbles on my lip in response, but releases me.

"Even in his office he's still a fucking cock block." he snarls.

"Agreed! I was getting some great pictures!" Erika chimes in, flashing her phone at me. I see a photo of Delic's tongue in my mouth. I flush.

"D-Delete that!"

"No way! This is going to be the picture I see when he calls me!" she laughs, yanking her phone out of my grasp.

Delic rolls his eyes and travels down the bar to pour some business man a drink.

"By the way, he seems pretty crazy about you." Erika says, pointing to Delic.

"He does?"

"Yeah. I've never seen him so starry eyed over someone before."

This information makes my heart flutter and a warm feeling surges through me.

"Heh. If you're lucky, he may look at you all lovey-dovey and say, '_Juh Tim_." she grins.

"Erika... No ma'am."

* * *

_Sachi: Okay, the songs used were 'Americano' (Spanish song) 'Bad Romance' (French) and 'Scheiße'(German). Don't flame me for the German part, that's really what it says! I don't know why I did this, I just thought 'Wow, I bet Erika would listen to Lady Gaga too.' and voila. I took 3 years of Spanish, but I'm hardly fluent in anything. All my friends took French. Meanies._

_ Hibiya: This is getting stupid._

_ Sachi: ...You're stupid._

_ Delic: Alright, children. Behave. Leave a review for the next chapter!_

_ Hibiya: Unless you have better things to do._

_ Sachi: :(_


	9. Chapter 9

_I'm glad you guys like Erika's contribution to the story. I like working with her, since she is fangirl embodied into a physical form. Now for the love! __Paranormal Alchemist__, agreed! Of course, you can be her whenever you want. All it requires is seeing yaoi everywhere. __Marshmallows Rule The World__, Hibi-chan is a little messed up, ne? I feel like I can tell when you bow to the shrine. It's a chill I get. (Love you!) __Nelniel__, I share your vision of them dancing! I'm glad you liked the chapter! __Threegreenbeans__, haha, you have to finish that review, because now I'm curious about the Sesame Street thing. __S. Oyabun__, hahaha, you and I both know you don't need him to understand you for what you want him for. __Shiroi Hana__, I told you that was what the song said! Bahaha, I knew it wasn't German, That's why dear Hibi-chan explained. Glad you accept to help me with his German though! You're AWESOME! __nazupii__, lol, he would accept that offer. __Incidentalmusic__, I thought people would like it if he spoke French. I agree that he's pretty hot for speaking multi languages! __FallingforWerewolves__, damn straight! __aurore__, thank yooou for reading! You need to get an account on here so you can help me with his French! This applies to anyone who wants to add to his language ability. So if you speak French, Spanish, Italian, or Russian, feel free to help me out! (The German slot is taken.) Logic Dive, you literally reviewed just in time! I bet this is the quickest update ever for you, lol. Now, to answer something important, I don't think this story is in Japan at all, in case you were wondering why I didn't add English to his list of languages. No, they're in the dear old U.S.A. in this story, in a city somewhere. We'll go more into that later though. So yeah, on with the story!_

* * *

_Late Whispers_

Little Hibiya sat at the kitchen table, his tutor standing over him. Today's lesson was Spanish, and the little boy had forgotten to study.

The little hopeless baby.

"Conjugate it." the lady said fiercely.

The verb to conjugate was 'Ser', the 'be' verb. It was the first time he ever tried to conjugate. He was failing miserably.

"It was in the book! Did you not read it?" she hissed at him.

"N-No... Mommy wanted me to g-go to bed early and I forgot..." the little snot bucket whimpered.

And what did the woman do?

She slapped him in the face.

"You'll never learn by being lazy! Now conjugate the verb!"

Hibiya looked at the material again, praying desperately that it would click into place and he would instantly know how to do it.

It didn't work.

But then, his prayers never worked.

Like when he prayed his Daddy would stop coming in his room at night.

His mother walked in and she studied the scene in front of her.

"What happened?" she asked the tutor.

They discussed how he didn't know how to conjugate. The tutor admitted to slapping him.

The Mommy rolled her eyes at her son, and left the room.

Hibiya was forced to learn the method, and was slapped whenever he got it wrong.

By the end of it. the little boy's face was swollen from the marks of the woman's bony fingers.

The Daddy walked in and looked at his son.

"Don't hit him in the face. The neighbors ask questions." he said, ignoring his crying son.

From then on, the lady took to a new method of tutoring him, and to Hibiya, it hurt just as bad.

But he never forgot how to conjugate again.

* * *

I wake up with my head on the counter of the bar. Apparently, it's almost closing time, because it's relatively empty in here right now. Rubbing my eyes, I look for Delic.

He's at the big door on the other end of the bar. I assume that's where his boss stays. I wonder how long I've been asleep?

_Soy, eres, es, somos, sois, son._

The conjugated form of 'Ser' is playing through my head like it did when I was 9. I memorized it, constantly playing it in my head like a mantra.

_Soy, eres, es, somos, sois, son._

_ Soy, eres, es, somos, sois, son._

_ SOY, ERES, ES, SOMOS, SOIS, SON._

It was required for saying very basic things in Spanish. The verb had to be conjugated to match the sentence, otherwise the phrase would be invalid.

_Yo soy loco._

That's how I feel.

I glance up when Delic walks in front of me.

"Are you alright?" he asks me, concerned.

"Muy bien." I grin.

He frowns at me, before he drapes an arm over my shoulder.

"Ready to go home?"

"Mm-hmm." I yawn. Why am I so tired?

"You fell asleep when Erika left. She probably wore you out, huh? How many Lady Gaga songs did you have to listen to?" he asks me as we exit the bar and enter the foggy night air.

"The entire 'Born This Way' album. Aside from the fake German song, I liked it enough." I shrug, leaning into him as we walk. I'm so tired and he's so warm right now.

Really, a few of the songs made me a little sad. I teared up at a song called 'Hair'. Why?

_Mom and Dad, why can't I be who I wanna be?_

_ I just wanna be myself and I want you to love me for who I am._

That sums it up, ne?

"You _liked_ it? I need to keep you away from her then before she corrupts you." he says.

"Mmm, that's your job." I mumble into his neck. He stops walking.

"Are you asleep again?"

"Mmm?"

Suddenly, I'm lifted in the air. He's giving me a piggy-back ride. I wrap my arms around his neck and hang on as tight as my weary limbs will let me.

His scent is invading my brain. I bury my face into his neck and inhale deeply.

"You smell really gooood."

"Heh, thanks. I'm not accepting compliments from you until you're awake though." he laughs.

"...Unfair."

"Nope~. I get to say sweet things to you all I want though, since I'm awake."

"I'm awake too..." I argue.

"No you're not. Now go to sleep."

I'm content for a moment as I listen to a few cars pass by us. Delic's footsteps are making a 'thump thump' noise on the sidewalk.

"You're my favorite person, Delic."

I feel his body tense at these words.

"Huh?"

"Yeah, I've decided... You're my favorite..." I slur. I forget why it's important for him to know this right now. My brain just wants him to know.

"Why am I your favorite?"

"Can't say... You said I can't compliment you right now."

"I take it back." he says and I can hear the smile in his voice.

"You're really nice...all the time..."

"So are you. So this is invalid." he states.

"M'not nice." I argue. "...selfish..."

"You're not selfish. I don't know why you think that."

"You want sex... Can't give it to you..."

"Chibiya, we talked about this already." he sighs, hoisting me up with one arm as he reaches in his pocket for something. I realize we're outside his door, up the stairs and everything. Man, I miss a lot when I'm tired.

"You're really sexy too..." I continue with my mindless ranting. If I had any logical sense still on, I'd shut up now.

"You think so?" he laughs, dropping me on his bed.

"Mm-hmm. All the time, I'm thinking..."

"We have that in common then." he purrs, flopping beside me on the mattress and wrapping his arms around me.

"I really love...your voice too." I add, feeling extremely content when his arms cross on my waist and his fingertips brush the skin under my shirt.

He growls a little and forces me to roll over so I can face him in my half-awake state.

"Look at me, Chibiya." he says from somewhere. I crack an eye open to observe him, but close it again when he kisses me. I return the gesture as best as I can, but our tongues end up mostly just licking each other outside of our mouths.

"Christ..." he hisses when we part. "What...are you _doing _to me?"

I sigh lazily and move closer to absorb his heat, my ear right beside his heart. It's beating faster than it should since we're just laying here.

It's quiet in the room now. There's the distant sound of cars passing by outside, and Delic's breathing is against my ear as he holds me close to him.

Oddly, I think of home again. I think of how safe I feel here, compared to how I felt there. Delic makes me feel safe.

I'm far away from mean tutors and abusive parents. Right now in my sleepy state, I feel content with how things are. I'm relaxed enough to let a small grin grace my lips, against Delic's neck before I kiss the skin there.

In the morning, all my insecurities will return to haunt me, and I'll have to put my masks back on.

I'll worry about that when the sun is up though.

As I drift into unconsciousness, I smile at the words I hear before I lose my grip completely.

And it's a whole lot better than _soy, eres, es, somos, sois, son._

"You're my favorite too, Chibiya..."

* * *

_Sachi: A short chapter to get you through and hopefully make all our tomorrows better! I have to go work an 11-7 shift. *sigh* _

_ Delic: Then you should be asleep now._

_ Hibiya: When you're tired tomorrow, don't blame us._

_ Sachi: ...Wait, are you two actually concerned for me?_

_ Delic: Yup._

_ Hibiya: No._

_ Sachi: I feel the love! About to crash though for now, guys. Much love! *passes out*_

_ Hibiya: ...What love is there to feel?_

_ Delic: That's it. You've earned a spanking._

_ Sachi: *wakes up*_


	10. Chapter 10

_Muahahaha, so many effing reviews! I'm glad you guys like how I'm writing Delic and Hibi-chan. I put a lot of thought into this story, and the thought that you like them despite them being a little OOC makes me so grateful to have such an amazing fan base. I may not have 30 reviews on every chapter like some authors get, but you know what? That's perfectly fine with me. I feel like we all have a good relationship going, because we have little conversations every chapter! You've all been so wonderful to me, and I love all of you, alright? I just... THANK YOOOOU! :'D Anyway, on with my love to you. __Paranormal Alchemist__, I agree with you about locking Hibi-chan with Delic and not letting his parents ever get him again. Haha, conjugate basically means to give the different inflictions of the verb to match voice, mood, blah, blah, blah. It's fancy talk for 'speaking another language well'. It's a bitch to learn too. __Threegreenbeans__, lol, you mean Guantanamo Bay? Silly. Thanks for the advice on the videos! I watched them; they were lovely. I found some footage about Crispin Freeman (Shizu-chan) and Johnny Young Bosch (Izaya) in the English version, appeasing fangirls at a convention. This is basically how it went down:_

_ Shizuo's voice: Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, DAMMIT! Would you marry me...Izaya?_

_ Fan girls: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!_

_ Izaya's voice: Will you marry me, Shizu-chan~?_

_ Fan girls: KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!_

_ Haha, I joined their cheers. If you want to see it, go to Youtube and type in 'Crispin Freeman and Johnny Young Bosch proposals'._

_XxTeddybearshooterxX__, I'm glad! That's the vibe I was going for! __FallingforWerewolves__, agreed! He's much nicer that way. __Shiroi Hana__, we can be awesome together. Good luck with class! __S. Oyabun__ , I am too fun... I love you too! I do try to make you all scream with happiness, and sometimes angst. __aurore__, if you want the French slot, you have to get an account so I can message you about it! There will be more about their parents later, haha. __Luvurstories__, I'm sorry you feel that way. However, if you just write that you're not happy with the chapters, and don't tell me why, I can't fix it for you. Please elaborate and let me know what exactly you don't like. Thank you for reading and reviewing anyway~ __Burning-Petals__, I'm BAAAAACK! __jusqualafin__, thank you for saying so! Also:_

_ "J'aime trop cette histoire"_

_ Sachi: Um... *looks expectantly at Hibi-chan*_

_ Hibiya: She said she loves your story too much._

_ Sachi: Oh! I love your FACE too much! So take that!_

_Logic Dive__, I'm glad I could make your return better! I'm so glad you love my story! Alas, I have rambled enough for this A/N. On with the huffin' story!_

* * *

_Proud_

Teenage Hibiya was standing over his little sister's bed. She had just moved to a big girl's bed, leaving her crib behind. She had just turned 4, and was distraught over the idea of leaving her familiar bed behind. She was crying. Hibiya was glad his parents weren't in the room, otherwise she would be in trouble for crying.

"I-I wanna stay in my criiiiib!" the little girl cried.

"Shhhh. Moving into this big bed is the first big step of your childhood. Everyone has to leave their crib eventually." he told her, sitting on the edge of the new bed.

"B-But this bed is too big... There's no bars! I'll fall off!" she argued.

"You won't fall off. It'll be fine. Just calm down and go to sleep." he sighed, petting her hair and brushing the brunette locks behind her ear.

"Can you...sleep in here with me?" she asked him.

He looked at her sadly. She seemed genuinely terrified of being alone in the bed.

"...I will." he agreed, moving to lie beside her. She nuzzled against his arm and her whimpers began to gradually fade.

"I love you, Hibiya." the little girl said quietly in that sweet voice every child possesses.

"I love you more." he told her, kissing her forehead.

The room was enveloped in silence as the little girl's breathing slowed down and gained a steady rhythm. Hibiya felt himself drifting off too, when the door opened and light streamed in.

"Hibiya? Are you in here?" his Father's voice filled the darkness.

"Yes, Father." he replied quietly.

"Come to your room." the man said, opening the door all the way to stare at his son.

Hibiya untangled himself from his sister's hold, getting up to do as his patriarch said. She whimpered when he released her entirely. He tried to ignore it.

As he passed his Father, the man's arm draped across his shoulder as he was led to his own room. When the door closed behind them, Hibiya hoped to whatever God there was that his sister never had to deal with this.

He never wanted her to have to share her new bed with this man.

* * *

Delic is snoring so loudly that it wakes me up too early. I immediately feel bad for the blonde, because I know that he's exhausted from working till sunrise. It's still a little dark outside, so I know I have no reason to be awake yet.

I stare at the ceiling and think about my situation.

I need to find a job. It's not fair to rely on Delic the way I have been. Slowly, I ease out of the bed. Delic growls a little, his hands reaching for me. I smirk at him, placing my pillow in his hold. He seems content with this, because he curls against it tightly.

I stretch, and walk into the living room. There's a small lamp on the table near the couch. I click it on and find the application I brought here from the coffee shop. I start to fill it out. It's asking tons of questions that I hate.

_Name?_

I know it's a very straightforward question, alright? But... It's not that simple this time...

_Hibiya_. If they ask for my last name, I'll do all I can to avoid it. If it's mandatory to get hired, I guess I'll have to give it to them.

By the time I'm finished with the stupid process, the sun has risen fully outside. I click the lamp off and stand from the couch.

Maybe I can walk to the coffee shop by myself before Delic wakes up? I don't want to bother him when he's so cute cuddling with his pillow.

Then again, I can use this as an opportunity to put in tons of applications everywhere. The more I put it, the more likely my chances of getting hired. Deciding very quickly, I take a quick shower and grab my clothes from my bag. I'm wearing my own clothes today because I think it's okay to dress up when I'm looking for a job.

I'm wearing a red button-up shirt that I roll up to my elbows. I bypass the tie, and just unbutton the two top buttons under the collar to show that I'm at least a little casual. I leave the shirt un-tucked, and pair it with a nice pair of black dress pants. The smooth material feels good against my skin.

I towel dry my hair and do my best to arrange it. My hair had always been unruly, but since it's growing due to lack of maintenance, it's more difficult to control. I manage to arrange it well enough, giving up when the hair in the back continues to stand up straight.

I walk over to Delic, and place a kiss on his lips. Moving quietly, I leave him a little note on his bedside table for when he wakes up:

_Delic,_

_ Went out to look for a job. Don't freak out, okay? I'll be careful, and I'll be home soon. If you wake up too early, go back to sleep! I'll be fine._

_ ~Hibiya_

I exit the apartment, locking the door behind me. I know that Delic will probably be awake by the time I get back. He'll probably be mad too, but I need to start doing things on my own. He'll understand.

The street is almost empty. The sun is in the sky now, and it's starting to heat up. I wish I had some sunglasses to block out the crazy UV rays that are assaulting my eyes. Alas, I'll deal with it.

When I enter the coffee shop, the plump woman from before is behind the counter. Her face lights up when she sees me. I decide to use her infatuation to persuade her into hiring me.

"Good morning." I say nicely. "I'm here to turn in this application."

"Oh! Do you have any references?" she asks.

"No ma'am. Unfortunately, I'm new to the area and don't have any friends or family." I tell her. She looks over the application.

"You didn't put a last name." she says.

"...Is it absolutely required?" I ask fearfully.

She studies me for a moment.

"Are you...in trouble with the law, dear?"

I laugh at this. I can see why she would think that.

"No, no. I just... I have a family tiff... I'm not sure if I'm allowed to use my last name or not."

"...A family tiff? Bad enough that they disowned you?"

"Yes ma'am."

Her eyes scan over the application again. Then, she looks up at me in alarm.

"Your name is Hibiya? Like the son of the famous architect?"

I curse the fact that my parents are so famous. Indeed, my father built nearly every building in each city in a 1,000 mile radius. Part of that limelight is that my name is also well known. I'm actually surprised no one pieced this together until just now.

"...I am his son..."

"Oh, _dear_! I can see why you'd want to keep that to yourself! He's a very famous man." she smiles warmly at me. I have the urge to run in the opposite direction and figure out how to legally change my name to something so outlandish that no one would ever figure out who I am.

"Listen ma'am," I say, placing my hand over hers. Her eyes widen considerably. "I know I'm inexperienced and my background seems shady, but I assure you, I'm willing to learn. I need a job in the worst way and I have bills to pay starting soon. Just...give me a chance, ne? Put in a good word for me to the owner?"

She gives me an approving look as she places my application under the counter.

"I am the owner, Hibiya. Come here tomorrow morning at 7am, ready to work."

My eyes must show my confusion, because she laughs at my expression.

"Y-You're saying... I got the job?" I sputter.

"Indeed. I like you. I'll take a chance on you." she laughs.

And in my state of happiness, I run around the counter and thrust myself into her arms.

"Thank you! Oh, thank you!"

She hugs me in return, patting my back with her stout hands.

"You're so sweet. I think I'll enjoy having you here." she smiles. "Don't forget! Be here right at 7!"

I leave the establishment considerably happy. I can't believe my luck. I guess there are nice people in the world. I just met one. As I begin to return to Delic's building, I hear a noise behind me.

"Get in the van." a gruff voice says. I freeze.

When I turn around fearfully, I'm greeted with a huge van filled with people.

Saburo is driving, Kadota beside him. Erika is opening the door and coming toward me. There's a man in the back I don't know.

"Hibi-chan!" she squeals, hugging me tightly. I wonder if she'll ever be able to do it without me blushing.

"Out without your owner today?" Kadota asks me jokingly.

"Delic's still asleep. He worked late last night." I reply.

"Ah, so he just let you go out on your own?" Saburo asks, leaning over his steering wheel.

"...He um...doesn't exactly know..." I say sheepishly.

"Uh-oh! We have ourselves a rebel! He's going against the tyranny of Delic!" Kadota laughs. Erika drags me to the van.

"I want you to meet my boyfriend!" she says happily.

"I'm Walker." the man in the back says, He looks so cheerful, his eyes are practically shut from the smile on his face. He holds out his hand for me to shake.

"I'm Hibiya." I greet, shaking his hand.

"You're the one that taught Erika French?" he asks.

"Um... I'm not claiming that..." I say, casting a glance at the hyper girl.

"Hey! I speak French good!" she says, smacking me lightly on the back.

"Well." I interject.

"Huh?"

"You meant to say you speak French _well_." I inform her.

"...Are you a grammar Nazi, Hibi-chan?" she asks me incredulously.

"Not by choice, but yes I am."

"Do you want a lift back to Delic's?" Saburo asks.

"Um... If that's alright."

"Get in there!" Erika says, shoving me in the back so I land almost on top of Walker.

"S-Sorry..." I say to him. He laughs it off.

"Oh, Walker! Can he be the one we have a threesome with?" Erika asks him when she re-enters the van and slides the door shut behind her.

"You think he's the one? I was hoping for one with two chicks." Walker says to her.

"We did that already! It's my turn to have two guys!"

"We both know if we have another man, you're going to want me to have sex with him while you watch!" he argues.

"Wait...what?" I ask.

"Because that's hot! Besides, Hibi-chan looks like a girl!" she tells him.

"Yeah, true. We'll talk about it."

"Um... Do I have a vote in this?" I ask weakly.

"Not really." they say in unison from either side of me.

When we arrive at Delic's building, I almost _jump _out of that van. To my suprise, Saburo shuts it off and they start climbing out with me.

"Eh? You're coming in?" I ask.

"Yup. Delic is supposed to be writing a new song and we need to practice it." Kadota says, going to the back of the van to get out his guitar. I wonder how on Earth Saburo is going to carry his drum set inside.

"But he worked so late last night..." I begin.

"Nah, we always practice on Thursdays. It's cool." Saburo says, helping Kadota get some cords out of the trunk.

"How are you carrying your drums?" I ask.

"I'm not. I have to hear the guitar and the bass first, then I'll make a beat for it. My drum set stays at my place." he tells me.

"Wait, so if you usually always practice early on Thursday, then Delic is already awake?" I ask warily.

"Yup." Kadota replies.

Uh-oh.

We make our way up the stairs, Erika and Walker babbling the whole way about some 'Tsuzuki' fellow, and whether or not he should be with 'Hisoka' or 'Muraki'. I have no idea who they're talking about.

We get to the door, and Saburo knocks loudly.

"Oi, blondie! Open up!" he barks.

Immediately, the door opens and Delic is there, fully dressed. His eyes settle on me.

"Um... I got a job." I say innocently. His gaze narrows.

"Where?"

"The coffee shop. I start tomorrow."

The rest of the group shoves past us, Kadota and Saburo going to the living room to set up their stuff. Erika and Walker go to the kitchen table, discussing how 'Muraki' is insane and not worthy of love. Delic is still looking at me.

"You got my note, right?" I ask warily.

"Yes. Even if it said not to worry, I was still worried."

"I know..."

He reaches for me, and pulls me against him tightly in a hug.

"I'm proud of you, Chibiya. You're so brave." he says in my ear.

"B-Brave?" I ask.

"You're not afraid to go out and get what you want. You came here by yourself in search of a new life, and you're starting it. I'm proud." he says again. I lean into his hold, smiling to myself.

No one's ever been _proud _of me before.

He kisses me on the lips before I can say anything.

"You look damn sexy in those dress clothes." he purrs.

"You think so?" I ask in a breathy voice before I kiss him again.

"Oi. Delic! Assault Hibiya later! We have a song to write!" Kadota says from the couch.

Delic releases me, and I walk over to Walker and Erika. I don't want to intrude on the band's time to practice.

"Hibi-chan, do you think you can help me with my Spanish?" Erika asks me as I sit down at the table.

"Did you bring your material?" I inquire.

"No. But I know what we're studying." she says.

"What's that?"

"Conjugation."

I tense. This is so touchy for me. I don't want to ever conjugate again.

"Erika, I-"

"Please? I'm a quick learner, I promise!"

I sigh, rubbing my temples.

"What are you conjugating?"

"_Ir_."

Well, at least it's not_ 'Ser'_. _'Ir' _is the 'go' verb.

"Do you know the formula to conjugate?"

"Kind of... I forgot it I think." she says sheepishly. I get some paper from Delic's room and come back to the table. I draw a chart for her.

"You have to conjugate the verb to match these forms." I say, pointing to the chart. It reads like this:

_Yo:_

_ Tu:_

_ Usted/el'ella:_

_ Nosotros:_

_ Ustedes:_

_ Ellos/Ellas:_

She looks at it as I write_ 'Ir'_ at the top of the page.

"Seem familiar yet?" I ask her.

"Kind of..."

I hand her the pencil and let her try to solve it for herself. The correct conjugated form of _'Ir' _for _'Yo' _is _'Voy'_. She's not writing that. She's not writing _anything._

"Need help?" I ask.

"I'm sorry, Hibi-chan... I don't know what to do..." she admits.

I take the pen from her and conjugate it for her. The correct forms read like this: _Voy, vas, va, vamos, vais, van. _

After I do this, I explain to her that unless the verb is horribly irregular, it will always conjugate in this form. Or course _'Ir' _is an irregular verb, but it conjugates easily enough when it's memorized. _'Ser' _is also an irregular verb...

"Write me some sentences using a conjugated form." I command. If I'm tutoring her, she's going to listen to me.

She complies. Most of them are wrong. She's not using the formula correctly. I go over it with her again, and then tell her to correct what she did wrong. She gets it wrong again.

Lucky for me, I'm a patient person. She's getting angry at herself for not understanding. Walker is rubbing her shoulders.

"I hate this!" she wails loudly, causing the three musicians in the living room to look over at us.

"If you get frustrated, it'll be harder." I tell her calmly.

"Hibi-chan, how did you learn this so well?" she asks me.

"My tutor. She was this mean old lady with bony fingers."

"Well, teach me how she taught you!"

"No." I say firmly.

"Wha- Why not? C'mon, Hibi-chan! Please?"

"_No_."

"Oh, just appease her so she'll shut up, Hibiya." Saburo sighs from the couch. "We can't concentrate over her bitching."

I look at Erika pleadingly.

"I really don't want-" I start.

"If it'll help me, then let's do it. I need to pass this class, Hibi-chan."

I sigh loudly, running my hands through my hair.

"You all heard her, ne? You heard her beg me? So you know this isn't my choice?" I ask everyone as a whole.

"Eh? Is this sexual?" she asks me in a low voice.

Instead of a response, I head for the window that Delic has propped open with a broken yard stick. My guess is he broke it in half to fit the window better. I find the other half next to it, on the windowsill. I walk back over to Erika.

"Are you _sure _I can't persuade you-"

"I'm sure! C'mon!"

Sighing for the umpteenth time, I hand her the notepad again.

"Write a sentence using the correct conjugation in the _'Yo' _form." I instruct. I gave her the easiest one. Hell, all she has to write is '_Yo voy.'_ It translates to 'I'm coming.'

Instead, she writes some monstrosity that I can only assume is made up Spanish with the word _'Voy'_ shoved in there.

"Wrong. Hold out your hands."

She frowns up at me, before she does as she's told.

I raise the broken yard stick, and slap her hands with it. I didn't do it as hard as my tutor did it to me, but I did it hard enough so that a loud smack reverberated through the apartment.

"Ow! Hibi-chan, what the hell?" she hisses, yanking her hands and holding them against her chest. They're red from the hit.

"That's how I learned it." I tell her.

"...Tutors can just smack their students with fucking rulers?" she says.

"No. My parents told her to. Her old method was leaving bruises on my face, so I had to learn it this way." I shrug like it's everyday knowledge. "Besides, she used a metal ruler."

I'm aware that everyone's eyes are on me at this moment. Erika grabs my hands and looks at them closely.

"Oh, Hibi-chan... You have scars all over your fingers." she says wistfully.

"I know. That's from where she slapped hard enough to break the skin."

Walker is looking at my hands too.

"That's...horrible." he says.

"You see why sometimes it's better to listen when someone says 'no'?" I ask them with a bitter smile.

"I-I'm sorry..." Erika whimpers. She looks close to tears.

"It's fine. Let's just finish this conjugation." I say, tossing the ruler back towards the window. "And we're learning it my way, so no more slapping."

She nods, and we get back to work. Slowly, everyone goes back to their work and the eyes leave me.

Except for a certain pair of magenta eyes.

When Erika is writing more sentences, I meet Delic's gaze. He looks so distraught.

I send him a gentle smile, even though I know he sees right through it. He returns it, and goes back to writing music with his band.

By then end of the afternoon, their band has a new song. Saburo has to go home and write the part for the drums, but it should be ready to play in time for their next gig.

Erika has mastered conjugating _'Ir'._

I'm pleased that I only had to slap her hands once.

It hurt me just as much as it hurt her.

* * *

_Sachi: Don't you just love lengthy updates early in the morning~?_

_ Hibiya: I think everyone that's __**sane**__ is asleep right now._

_ Delic: Well, problem solved. Sachi's not sane at all._

_ Sachi: Nope! I'm a night person! Anyway guys, leave a review for they make me happy! I love you~!_

_ Hibiya: I'm going to bed..._

_ Delic: I'll join you~_

_ Sachi: *turns invisible and follows them*_


	11. Chapter 11

_Life has been hectic as of late. My family is feuding. AGAIN. I'm anticipating a good fight tonight. In the risk of sounding like Izaya, "This will be fun~!" Anyway, here's an update while it's still quiet here. Luvurstories, I love you too! So I'm guessing you liked the last chapter better then? Since you didn't say you didn't haha, Shiroi Hana, good luck with your teachings! I used to use my friend as a math tutor. She would hit me with the book when I got stuff wrong... Maybe that's why I hate math so much. Marshmallows Rule The World, love you too! Hibi-chan thanks you for being supportive of his job. Logic Dive, yeah you have good instincts. Yay, flowers! You're so sweet~! Paranormal Alchemist, your review made me laugh so hard. Haha, but Hibi-chan must be free to make his mistakes. Threegreenbeans, haha, cat fans are the best! My own cat, Toki, doesn't like it when I type. He likes to rub against the laptop and mess me up. I don't think you're crazy. LimeCrayons, thank you! Here's more for you! AllTheLovelyBrains, they are very awesome! I love when they cater to fangirl's crazy demands. Also, the anime Erika and Walker were talking about is 'Descendants of Darkness'. The manga is much better, because the anime is too... PG13 for me... Anyway, Muraki is a doctor who's a little fucked in the head, and he has some crazy obsession with Tsuzuki, a shinigami. Tsuzuki just got a new partner, Hisoka, hence Erika and Walker's conversation. Thanks for reading! On with the story!_

* * *

_New Beginnings_

I don't know what time everyone left last night. To be honest, I fell asleep really early. I didn't get much sleep the night before, and I passed out at the kitchen table. Thankfully, I had a dreamless sleep.

When I wake up in the morning, I'm in the bed. Delic is draped across me again like a blanket. I flush when I realize he's shirtless. I try to wriggle out of his hold, but he's really got a good grip on me this time. Probably because I managed to sneak out yesterday.

"Delic... Delic!" I say loud enough to wake him up.

"Mmm?"

"Let me go. I need to get ready for work."

"Wha time you goin' in?" he slurrs.

"I need to be there at 7."

He shifts, taking his cellphone from the bedside table and flicking it open to see the time.

"...'S only 5:50..." he groans, flopping down again.

"But I want to look nice for my first day." I inform him.

"You always...look nice..."

I laugh lightly, and lean into him more.

"Don't you think I would look even better if you let me take a shower? So I can be nice and clean?"

"You smell good to me." he says.

"But I'm not clean right now. I need to be clean."

"I like you better dirty..." he growls.

"Ah, you do? Maybe I should go roll around in some dirt?"

"Heh...or Jello."

"Are you being perverted, Delic?"

"Yup. I'm a sexaholic, so I have an excuse."

I grin and nuzzle into his neck a little more, kissing the skin there.

"I like you anyway~."

"Chibiya..."

Then, I bite down on his neck.

"Ahhhh, fuck..." he hisses, tightening his hands on my hips. His fingers are digging into my shirt tails.

Since I'm relatively new to this, I experimentally lick along his jawline before I close my teeth around his earlobe.

"Mmmm..." he groans. I swear he's moving his body against mine. I don't know what it's called though... But it feels good.

"Delic... Kiss me..." I say pleadingly. He nips at my lips before he wraps his tongue around mine. I'm glad he's too tired to argue with me about why this is bad for me.

He's still moving his hips against me. I feel that he's hard. Then, I feel immediately bad because I know I can't give him what he needs.

I'm not ready for this.

At the same time, I know deep down that just because he can't touch me, doesn't mean I can't help him. Especially when he's been so good to me and all I've done is tease him with sex.

I place my hand in front of his sleep pants, and press down. He makes a sort of gargling noise and thrusts into my palm. I realize then how long he's been holding back.

"S-Stop..." he growls. "Can't...can't do this with you..."

"Yes you can. You need this... I can at least give you this much." I say, moving faster against his arousal. His hips are moving erratically now, and his hands are holding my hips so hard, I'm certain they'll bruise.

"Are you close?" I ask him in a breathy voice.

"Hahhhh...C-Chibiya..." he manages. "Stop before...it's too la- _ahhhh..._"

"I want you to come, Delic." I say against his ear. "And I want to see your face when you do..."

His hands move from my hips to my face, and he slams our mouths together. I swallow his moans, basking in the fact that it's _me _that's doing this to him. I'm the one in control. Maybe this is what I've been needing.

He moves against my hand again and again, before he makes a choked sound and bites on my pulse point.

"N-No... I want to see your face..." I remind him, forcing him to look at me as he suddenly comes in my hand. He's looking at me through half lidded eyes and panting heavily. I smirk at his flustered expression, before I kiss him again, moving my hand to make sure his orgasm is over before I remove it.

He seems to come to some sort of understanding, because suddenly he looks angry with me. He snatches my hand away from his pants, and glares at me.

"What the _fuck_?" he growls. "Are you trying to give yourself some sort of mental breakdown?"

I look at him passively.

"Notice that I'm perfectly fine. It seems as long as you don't touch me, I'm fine."

He blinks, scrutinizing my face as if he's waiting for me to freak out.

"Mmm, besides, your voice was so sexy just now." I purr, kissing him again. He hisses against my lips.

"You... You're hard too..."

"I know. It's fine though."

"No it isn't! It's... It's not fucking fair!"

"I don't need anything from you, Delic. It's alright. I just... I can't stand the fact that you give me so much, and this is all I can do for you in return..."

"Chibiya..."

"Letting you finish yourself off with my hand is hardly anything to be proud of... I want... I want you to be my first..."

"_Chibiya_."

"But I can't right now... I want to, Delic. I want to so bad... I just...I can't."

"Chibiya! Calm down!"

Calm down? What's he talking about? I open my mouth to ask, but all that comes out is a strangled sob.

Fuck, I'm crying.

"S-S-Sorry..."

"Dammit... I knew this would happen..." he sighs, pulling me into his arms. "You pushed yourself too far."

"...I can't even press my hand against your pants without breaking down? Shit... I really _am _ruined..."

"Don't fucking start that again! We just got past this!" he snarls.

"D-Delic… I'm so sorry!"

He sighs, burying his face in my hair.

"I don't need you to push yourself for me. I may have my addiction, but I'm also an adult. I can manage without sex until you're ready…"

"But I'll never be ready! I'll never get past this! And you won't want me anymore!"

"Is that what this is about? Chibiya, I'll always want you! I'd rather never have you than hear you cry like this! Just…calm down please." He mumbles against my hair.

I try to do as he said and relax. I don't know why, but this is on me full force again. It's probably because I didn't dream about it last night, and my subconscious is torturing me.

It's so easy for me to pretend sometimes. I can act like everything is fine, and that what happened is the furthest thing from my mind. Other times, it all comes to me at once.

I can't forget what happened to me every night for 6 years.

"Do you want to know something funny? Before you, I've never had anyone in my apartment for a full week before." He says quietly when my shaking subsides.

"I've been here for a full w-week?" I inquire.

"It'll be a full week on Sunday. Today is Friday, so yeah."

This makes me feel worse. A whole week mooching off of him and I can't even give him a goddamn hand job correctly.

I stand up from the bed abruptly, yanking myself out of his arms.

"I-I need to shower." I say quietly over my shoulder.

When I'm under the hot water, I break down. I guess Delic was right in assuming that what I did would cause me harm. I don't know why I did it. I just… I wanted to make him feel good, since he's done so much for me. I want to forget about my past and just focus on Delic, but I can't.

I can't forget it. I just can't.

When I get out of the shower, I notice my skin is really red. I must have been in really hot water.

I didn't even notice.

Apparently, I'm going into a depressed state. Honestly, I'm not too surprised. I've been without my medication for almost a week now.

Since I turned 13, my mother grew concerned with my constant mood swings. She failed to understand that it was because my father kept trying to rape me, and made me see a therapist. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

In all honesty, I had never believed I needed the medication. I took it because it made me more relaxed. Now, I feel like I need it again. I need it _bad_.

It was easier for my parents to think I'm insane, than think I was traumatically scarred from my father.

I step out of the bathroom, to see Delic sitting on the couch, facing me.

"I heard you crying." He says solemnly.

"Sorry." I reply.

He stands up and sighs as he crosses the room in a few strides to collect me for a hug.

"Tell me how I can help you… I can't stand this, Chibiya."

How can I resist such a plea?

"I don't know how you can help me. I don't know how to help myself. I just need more time." I say.

"Time? That's it? There has to be more than that! Sitting here and watching is so fucking painful!"

"Watching what…?"

"Seriously? Watching you break down over a touch, or seeing your hands after you told me what happened with your tutor! You try to do so much but you're not ready! You're pushing yourself too hard!"

"I'm not pushing hard enough!" I scream over him. "If I was, I'd already be able to give you a proper hand job at least! I'm just a fucking _baby _who can't do anything by myself! You want to know how to help me? Shove me in front of a fucking bus!"

And I storm out of his apartment, in unnecessary rage. I'm not mad at Delic. I'm never mad at Delic.

I'm mad that he's had to sit around and watch me lose my mind.

When I arrive at work, I go through orientation. I'm working with the owner I put the application in with. I learn her name is Deborah.

"Sweetie, are you sure you're okay?" she asks me for the millionth time when the afternoon rolls around. I'm behind the counter now. I get off in an hour.

"I'm fine. I just didn't get too much sleep last night." I sigh as I hear the door ding, signaling someone's entrance.

"Hibi-chan! You look so cute in your little apron!" Erika squeals when she enters the shop.

Luckily, there are no other patrons in here right now. Breakfast was busy, and we were steady over lunch, since we serve panini's, soup, and salad at that time, but now that it's 3 in the afternoon, we're pretty dead.

"Oh, is that your girlfriend?" Deborah asks me with a warm smile.

"Haha! Yes, I am!" Erika grins, throwing her arms around me.

"N-No! She's my best friend!" I say, frantically trying to pry her off of me.

Deborah laughs at our antics, and Erika lets me go, a serious expression on her face.

"I'm your best friend?" she asks.

"Y-Yeah…" I say.

I know you're wondering why I don't consider Delic my best friend. Honestly, I don't really know. I just kind of always thought of him as more than a friend. He's just so much to me that friend doesn't seem to cover it.

Delic is my _everything. _

She laughs excitedly again and throws her arms around me once more. Despite being a man, I'm about the same height as her. One of the biggest hang ups I have is about my height. Everyone else in the world seems to have shot up in height at age 16, but here I am, 21 years old, and only 5'8" tall. Someone must have placed a curse on me.

And since she's wearing heels, she's actually a little taller than me right now.

Fuck.

"Hibiya, dear, if you want to leave with your friend, you can." Deborah tells me. "You've been here since 7am, I'm sure you're ready to go."

"Are you sure you'll be okay till night shift?" I ask.

"Sweetie, I run this place alone all the time. Just be here tomorrow, same time." She smiles and shoos me along.

I really like her. I knew I would though.

Erika grabs my hand and yanks me outside. I forget momentarily that I'm still in my apron that I'll have to wear every day.

"Guess what!" she says loudly.

"…What?"

"I passed my Spanish test! You made me get a B+!"

I look at her with my mouth open.

"You're serious? You passed?"

"I did! All thanks to Hibi-chan!"

"That's great! Really, that's such good news! And I didn't even have to hit-" but this is where I pause, because I remember that I _did _hit her with the ruler.

And the hand I hit has a nice, purple bruise on it, covering her knuckles.

"It's alright." She says looking down at her hand too. "It doesn't hurt or anything; it just looks really bad."

I still look at it, feeling my eyes sting. Suddenly, the news of her passing isn't as exciting as it was before. She only passed because I did the same thing to her my tutor did to me.

"Hibi-chan… Come on, I told you to! It wasn't your fault! You didn't even want to hit my hand! I made you!"

No matter what she says, I still should've known better. I know even if she says it doesn't hurt, that it really does.

"I didn't think I hit you that hard…" I say as I take her hand in mine.

"You didn't. I bruise like a peach." She replies.

I wipe my eyes on my sleeve and give her a watery grin.

"I'm just falling apart today." I tell her sadly.

"Hibi-chan… Walker and I have recently got some really good shit if you need a hit for free… You look like you could use it…"

"A hit? Walker wants to hit me?"

"No, silly. Don't tell too many people, but Walker sells some stuff on the side to help us make money." She whispers in my ear.

"…I thought he worked at a bookstore." I say.

"He does. He has another job."

"You said he sells stuff on the side. Do you mean he sells books from the store for his own profit?"

She gives me the same look Delic does sometimes and throws her head back, laughing. She grabs my hand again and starts leading me back to Delic's place.

"You're too funny. No, he sells drugs." She says very quietly in my ear when I fall into stride with her.

"WHAT?"

"Shh! Walker is the one who sold Saburo the stuff you guys smoked the other night!"

Oh, well that doesn't seem so bad. That stuff made me feel pretty good.

"But there's other stuff too." She continues. "Stuff that can make you feel on top of the world."

"Really? What is it?"

"Heroin." She says, looking ahead as we keep walking.

"_Heroin?_" I hiss quietly. "That has opium in it! It's really dangerous!"

"Only if you don't know what you're doing! Besides, we sell way more than we use!"

I frown at her to show my disdain.

"Okay, okay, I get it. You don't want any of it. Just do me a favor and don't tell anyone we have it. They wouldn't approve either." She says hurriedly.

"…I won't. I think you should get rid of it though."

"I know. I'm sorry I even brought it up, but Hibi-chan you need something! You look so sad today!"

"I'm a little upset, but it's alright. I've dealt with it before."

"It's not alright! I passed my Spanish test and we're gonna celebrate, dammit!" she says fiercely, dragging me down the street.

When we get to Delic's, he's on the couch with his bass guitar.

"I'm taking Hibi-chan for a girl's night out." She announces. Delic frowns at us.

"Wha- I really don't want to go anywhere!" I say like it'll change her mind.

"Too bad! Go get dressed in something hot! The more skin I see, the better!" she smiles, slapping my ass as she shoves me toward Delic's room. When we get inside, she starts going through my clothes that are still in my giant bag.

"Oooh, this! Wear this!" she says, holding up my white sleeveless shirt.

"That's really more of a nightshirt…" I say dryly.

"Well it is almost night time!"'

Sighing, I take off the shirt I'm wearing and put the one she's holding up on over my head.

"That's a nice hickey you've got on your chest there." She grins.

"Eh? What?" I look down under my shirt and sure enough, there's a purplish bruise there. Delic must have done that this morning.

"Nice." She smiles, looking for pants. She settles on some jeans I have that have a slight tear in them.

"These!"

"Those have a hole in them. I need to throw them away." I say.

"Well, there's a hole in you and we're not throwing _you _away." She counters, smiling madly.

"…What?"

"Just put them on!" she hisses, turning to find a hairbrush as I do as I'm told. When she turns again, her eyes rake over me appreciatively.

"Hibi-chan, you look pretty hot." She says.

"…Thanks?"

Laughing, she starts to assault me with the hairbrush she found.

"Hey! You're not going to be able to do anything with my hair anyway! It's too long!"

"What are you talking about? You look good with long hair!" she informs me as she starts nitpicking at my head.

When she deems me ready, I'm led into the living room again where Delic is still sitting. His eyes pop out when he sees me.

"I don't want to wear this. I want you to know this is all entirely against my will." I tell him as Erika grabs my bare arm again.

"Nonsense! You look hot! C'mon and stop dragging your feet!"

I only drag harder as she practically carries me toward the door. Delic stands from the couch.

"Where exactly are you taking him while he looks like that?" he asks her.

"To the bar! Sal told me we're doing karaoke tonight and since I don't have to work, I want to go as a patron!" she explains.

"Karaoke? I can't sing! Don't make me sing!" I beg, clawing at Delic to get him to help me.

"I kind of don't support him going out dressed like this." He says as he picks me up and holds me against himself.

"You don't have to sing!" she tells me. "And he looks hot! Do you want him to wear a potato sack?" she asks him.

"No! I just don't think anything good will come from you two going out so scantily clad!"

"Do you trust me, Hibi-chan?" she asks.

"…Of course."

"Do you really think I'd take you anywhere that would be bad for you?"

"No…"

"So you'll come with me?"

Dammit! She's using guilt to control me! I look at her hand that I bruised and slowly look back up at her and nod. Delic curses and releases me from his grip.

"We'll be back later~!" she calls and I'm pulled outside, trapped in her clutches.

Dear God, please don't make me have to sing.

* * *

_Sachi: In case you're wondering, the reason for this chapter and the next chapter is to show what good friends Erika and Hibi-chan are becoming. Also, we'll get more into the strange relationship brewing between him and Delic!_

_ Hibiya: Karaoke? Princes don't participate in such garbage! I refuse to sing anything!_

_ Sachi: Just for that, you're singing 'Baby Got Back.'_

_ Delic: Bahahahaha! Please make him sing that!_

_ Sachi: Leave me a nice review if you liked the chapter! If you hated it, I guess I can live with that too… *walks to edge of building to jump*_


	12. Chapter 12

_I think I need to up my antics in scaring my cat. Nowadays when I run up to him and try to scare him, he just stares at me. Toki is just too used to me now I guess. Well, he has been stuck with me for four years now, hence this random A/N! Happy birthday to Toki the cat! Now, for the love. __Paranormal Alchemist__, bahahahaha, your review had me laughing so hard. I don't know why, but calling Hibi-chan 'Shorty' just made me laugh. __Logic Dive__, you commented on the two main parts of the last chapter! It made me happy because someone understood the main points of my drabble. Point 1 was how sad Delic is that he can't help Hibi-chan more. Point 2 was how close Erika and Hibi-chan are getting. *accepts your pounce hug* __Shiroi Hana__, haha I stepped off the ledge. Erika is my comic relief in this story. To answer your question, Hibi-chan's hair is only a little long. It's shaggy, like to the point where his bangs are nearing his eyes. That's it though. __Luvurstories__, yeah I saw that anime a long time ago. I'm sorry for their lack of intimacy! But it's rated M so I swear it'll pick up eventually! We just can't rush Hibi-chan! He was tortured, you know! I think I understand you pretty well, despite our language barrier~. __Threegreenbeans__, 100th reviewer! __nazupii__, you PUSHED me? *sends Toki to eat your face* Haha, Erika has GOT this. And since I'm still alive, Izaya is mine! Muahahaha! __incidentalmusic__, b-but... I'm only a tease because I care! Just for that, I'm making it my mission to tease even more! *receives glare from Hibi-chan* Eh, everyone's a critic! __KarkadeVantas__, you reviewed chapter 4, but you solved it all by your lonesome! I love you too! __Burning-Petals__, I love their friendship too! __FallingforWerewolves__, I know! I laughed when I was typing that part, because inserting an argument just seemed invalid. __aurorage__, um...if you no likey Addict!Hibi-chan... Maybe I should warn you to stop reading? XD This is a very dark story, and is not going to be fluffy for very long. So don't flame me when the drama starts for real! Also, my questions for you in French will begin soon enough~. I have a plan! I WOULD love for Izaya to save me from my random building! __BlueRoseDream__, I use my phone for everything too, except updates. Grr, my dependence on technology! Quiet Crash__, it's hard to NOT fall in love with Delic! I'm making him so wonderful on purpose. When my master plan unfolds, I'll tell you all why. (you're going to hate me...) But until then, I love you all! Congrats to this story for making it past 100 reviews! On with it then!_

* * *

_Girl's Night Out_

The sun is going down as Erika leads me down the street. People are passing by us and shooting us odd glances. I don't know if it's because of what I'm wearing, or because of what she's wearing.

My pants are too tight. My shirt is too...nonexistent. My abdomen is covered, but my arms are too bare. I _hate _this.

Erika, on the other hand, is wearing a halter top and shorts that seem to have stopped realizing they were supposed to be shorts. They look more like a few lines of denim. Her heels click as we walk, and I'm irritated that they give her such a height boost.

"Um...we passed the bar..." I say when we march past our turn.

"I know. We're not going there. I only said that to make Delic cool his jets." Erika smirks as she looks over her shoulder. My eyes widen.

_"Erika!"_

"Relax! Did you really think I would make you dress like this if we were just going to the bar? Sal stopped doing karaoke last week because no one good ever sang anything! Just...don't tell Delic on me!" she says hurriedly.

"...Where are we going?" I inquire.

"To a club a little ways from here. I've just been so stressed recently and I really wanna dance!"

"I don't dance."

"It's not hard!"

"It's not because I think it's hard! I just... I don't dance." I say.

She observes me as I stare at the ground. Her hand reaches down to close around mine, and she makes us stop in the middle of the sidewalk. Thankfully, no one seems to care. They're all walking around us.

"Hibi-chan, Walker and I are really good friends with Saburo and everyone... They told us about what you said the other night...with your father..."

I glare up at her.

"You can't keep doing this to yourself." she tells me sadly.

"I'm not doing anything."

"Hibi-chan, you're torturing yourself like you think it was your fault. Your dad is a sick man, and that's not your fault. I can tell that you think it is though."

I bite my lip to stop myself from yelling at her. How _dare _she?

"Glare at me all you want. I'm only telling you the truth."

"Shut up, Erika."

"Make me, Hibi-chan."

We glower at each other for a moment.

"C'mon. You look like you could use a drink." she grins, resuming her dragging of me.

"I could use a lot of drinks." I say.

"We'll fix that."

When we get to this so called 'club', I see many people dancing against each other. If you could even call it that. It looks like one big neon colored orgy. The lights are low and there are multi-colored rays shining throughout the room. The music is a sort of combination of bumps and bangs. That's really the only way to describe it.

Erika pulls me toward the bar at the end of the room.

"I want two daiquiris!" she tells the man behind the counter.

"...What's that?" I ask her when the man turns to get it.

"A drink. A _girly _drink. It's only natural since we're having a girl's night out." she smiles.

I roll my eyes and accept the red drink the man hands me. It tastes like strawberries and a subtle hint of alcohol. I like it, in spite of myself. I throw my head back and drink it all.

"Whoa, whoa! Easy there, killer! We have all night!" Erika laughs, tossing her own drink back. She gives them to the man and tells him to make us two more.

"I'll pay you back when I get my first check." I tell her.

"Nah, it's cool. Walker sent me a text and said we sold all the stuff, so I've got plenty of money back home." she says.

"You sold all the...stuff?" I ask, my eyes wide. Really, I don't know why, but the thought of Erika selling heroin makes me afraid.

"Yup. So tonight is on me. I want you to have fun."

"I-I can't accept so many things! I'll pay you back, really!"

"You want to pay me? Fine. Dance with me." she smirks evilly.

"...I need more drinks."

She laughs and hands me another 'daiquiri'.

Five drinks later, I'm prepared to dance. Well, more or less. My legs are a little wobbly, but I'm nowhere near drunk yet.

Erika drags me into the mass of people. She makes me hold her hips and she puts her arms around my neck. We start swaying with the random bumps and bangs. My head is spinning from the alcohol coursing through my bloodstream.

"Those girly drinks have a little kick." I remark.

"I told him to put double the alcohol in them." she smirks. "Now we can have some real fun!"

Then she leads me into these wild movements she calls dancing.

We're twirling around in the middle of the floor, and she keeps randomly falling to the ground and picking herself back up.

"What are you doing?" I ask after the 5th time.

"Dropping it like it's hot." she smiles.

"...Oh."

"You should try it too! I bet Delic would love to see you bend over~."

"...I can't drop it like it's hot." I say dryly.

"You could at least try!"

I stand awkwardly in front of her and stare at her.

"Maybe I could set it down like it's luke warm?"

Erika raises her eyebrows before she bursts out laughing.

"_What_?" she squeaks, pulling me in for a loose hug before she moves us in the rhythm of the music again.

After we stop dancing, and she stops trying to get me to bend over, we make our way to the front of the building to leave. There are a few guys looking at her as we pass. My drunk mind tries to remember why that's bad, but I can't.

"Hey, cutie. You forget the rest of your clothes?" one of them calls to her. I look at her and wait for her to respond, but she doesn't. She's looking at me.

"Who are they flirting with?" she slurs, swaying on her feet.

"Um...I think they're flirting with you." I say in confusion.

"Hahahaha! I thought they were flirting with _you_!" she laughs, doubling over.

"No! No, they were-" I begin.

"We can take you both, it's cool." the one in the middle says. He's built like Delic, but not nearly as attractive.

"No thanks." I say nicely, dragging Erika away for once.

"Hibi-chaaaaaan! You saved me!" she giggles, latching onto me as we walk.

"Nooooo. You saved me." I grin.

Why is the street moving?

Why isn't she answering me?

Wait...did I even ask her the question out loud?

We make our way back to Delic's place. I wonder what time it is, but I can't figure out how to voice the question right.

"Hey." a voice calls. I turn to see Walker stepping out of Saburo's van. They're all piled inside again.

"Hibiya! Lookin' hot!" Kadota calls. I can tell he's fucked up on something too.

"I can't drop it like it's hot though." I inform them. Erika bursts out laughing.

"He- He said he was going to set it down like it was-" but she's cut off from more laughter. I find myself falling over because I'm laughing too.

A pair of arms lift me up. I'm hiked over a shoulder as I'm placed in the van. Erika is next, but Walker has her. I realize it was Kadota that carried me.

We drive down the familiar street, chatting about how much fun dancing was. I find myself drifting in and out of the conversation.

When the van stops, Kadota tosses me over his shoulder again.

"Bye Hibi-chaaaaaaaaaaan! I fuckin' LOVE you!" Erika calls out the window.

"Byeeeeeeeeeee!" I call, waving my hands. I love how happy I feel right now. I love it enough to drop my masks, even in front of Kadota. He's laughing as he carries me.

"So, just how drunk are you exactly?" he asks.

"Not quite drunk enough to throw up, but drunk enough to forget where I put my sleeves." I tell him seriously.

"…I don't think that shirt ever had sleeves…" Kadota's laugh rings through my ears.

I try to count the stairs as we walk up them. Kadota is supporting my weight, so I have nothing better to do. I feel really heavy again though.

"Are you still awake?" his voice calls.

"I think so…"

"So…um, what's the deal with you and Delic anyway?" he asks.

"…What do you mean?"

"Are you like, _dating _him now or…?"

"No. Delic is too good for me." I say bitterly. It's true, after all.

I'm ruined.

"You know, it's funny. He said the exact same thing about you." Kadota snickers, opening a door with his free hand. I blink in surprise when I'm lifted in the air by a new pair of warm hands.

"Delic?" I breathe.

"I got you." He says as he holds me. He's holding me much differently than Kadota did. I nuzzle my head into his neck. I know he likes when I do that.

"Little cutie got seriously plastered. He always will if you let him go with Erika. She's got some real problems with self-control." Kadota informs Delic.

"He's an adult. I can't control him forever." The blonde sighs.

I nod in agreement, the motion making my hair rub against Delic's face.

"Are you ready for bed, Chibiya?" he asks me, his voice low.

"Mm-Hmmmmm."

I hear Kadota say his goodnights and the door click behind him as I'm carried to the bedroom. Delic places me on the bed and lays beside me, pulling me against his body.

"Did you have fun tonight?" he asks.

"Mmmm. Erika is fun." I tell him.

"Did you sing?"

"…Sing?"

"Karaoke, right?"

"…Dancing…" I say.

He growls and the vibration goes into my ear.

"Dancing _where_?"

"Club…"

"Chibiya! Those places are too risky!" he snarls.

Oh yeah… I wasn't supposed to tell him, was I? Hah. Too late now.

"Don't be mad at me…" I purr, kissing his neck.

"I-I'm not mad. Not at _you_." He sighs happily as my teeth nip at his skin.

"Don't be mad at anyone." I murmur as I bite down hard.

"Ahhhh, f-fuck."

"Are we forgiven?" I ask as I lick the area I just bit.

"I don't know… Is this my punishment for being mad?" he growls, leaning his head to the side to give me better access to his neck.

"Maybe~."

"Then maybe I'm still mad."

Apparently when I'm drunk, I like to get bold. I crawl on top of him and connect our mouths.

"C-Chibiya…"

"Mmm?" I roll our tongues together slowly.

"What's…gotten into you?" he asks as I continue my assault on his body. My hands are roaming into his shirt. I really like Delic's chest.

"Just…want to make you feel good."

His hands reach up to grab mine, and he stops me. His face pulls away from mine.

"No going past kissing, alright?" he warns.

"…I know…"

His fingers lace with mine, and he kisses me again.

"Delic… Tonight is the first night I've danced in years…" I tell him when we part. I decide to open up to him and tell him stuff more often now. He seems to like it when I do.

"Why so long?"

"Mother made me take lessons. All I really know is the Tango and stuff along those lines. Father used to have business meeting all the time, and at the gathering afterwards, there was always dancing."

"You didn't have a tutor for that too, did you?" he asks tentatively.

"Yeah. He was nice enough though. My Mother had an affair with him briefly." I shrug, placing my face against the juncture of his neck and shoulder. I love his scent.

"…Is your family actually on a soap opera?" he asks.

"…Probably…"

"Chibiya…what's your last name?"

I lick his neck again and run my hands through his hair as I leave a small mark. His hands are clenched in the front of my shirt.

"I like how your skin tastes…" I mutter.

"I like how you keep licking me…" he replies.

I run my tongue up to his lips, and he snarls as he turns his head to force our heated appendages together.

I resume my place in his neck, sighing contentedly as he holds me close. We keep pawing at each other, but I can feel sleep beginning to consume me.

"…Orihara…" I say quietly.

"Huh?"

"Hibiya Orihara. That's my name."

"…Your dad is the famous architect?" he says in surprise. "_He's _the one that...did all of that to you?"

"Yes. Maybe you see…why I ran…" I whimper. It's the first time I've said my full name in years. "I don't want…him to find me…"

He growls and runs his hands along my back.

"I want him to come here. I have so much to say to him."

"Delic…" I say disapprovingly.

"I promise you, Chibiya. I'll always protect you."

And in my drunken mind, I decide not to ask any more questions.

I believe him.

* * *

_Sachi: Soon this story will be my only focus! My Tsukioppi is almost done!_

_ Delic: Yay! I like having the sole attention on me!_

_ Hibiya: So you're saying you will ONLY write this story? No other stories until this one is finished?_

_ Sachi: Um…_

_ Izaya: Ne, Sachi, didn't you have a story in mind for me?_

_ Sachi: Eh…_

_ Delic: WHAT?_

_ Hibiya: Treason!_

_ Sachi: So um…review? Ehehehe…_

_ Izaya: :3_


	13. Chapter 13

_Ahhhh, I finished 'Fix You' and now I have so many ideas for this story! I have so much to think about! A reader sent me a private request for a story, so I'll be posting that sometime this week. (I accept requests if I'm given a storyline.) Now, on to my love! __Quiet Crash__, I love Delic too! Izaya is my all-time vice though, so if you can beat Hibi-chan (and the mass of fangirls) you can have Delic. __Logic Dive__, haha, yes Hibi-chan and Erika are quite funny together! I accept your hug, and raise you an epic hug! __Marshmallows Rule The World__, I love you too! Regarding Delic in this story...I honestly don't know what to say except that both he and Hibi-chan are going to suffer... I promise, it will all work out, even if it's not the way you expect! Just...promise you'll stay with me till the end so I can explain! D: __KarkadeVantas__, aw, what song was played? I'm so glad you're going to be a frequent reviewer! Those are my faves. The 'Setting it down like it's lukewarm' part is my own words... Once at work, my manager asked me if I could drop it like it's hot, to which I replied that I could set it down like it's lukewarm. Hmm, it may have been used before that by one of my besties... I'll have to ask her, haha. __FallingforWerewolves__, use it! It always gets laughs! __S. Oyabun__, BAHAHAHAHA! Izaya is NOT Hibi-chan's daddy. Sadly, none of the alternates will be in this story. It's just a DelHibi. It makes me a little sad, because I've never written a story with no Izaya in it at all... I miss him! __Shiroi Hana__, of COURSE I must write more Shizaya! They are my addiction! Hibi-chan does have a drinking problem. We'll add that to his list... Also, we must up our antics in scaring our cats! Toki must know that I am insane, and he should fear me! Well, no, I don't want him to fear me... I do like it when I sneak up on him and he jumps 10 feet in the air. (Good times.) __BlueRoseDream__, thanks for reviewing! I love them, so if you want to review often, I'm totally cool with that! Also, I'm not sure when the smut is coming, but it's coming. So there's that at least. __Paranormal Alchemist__, I would love to see him set it down like it's lukewarm too! __AllTheLovelyBrains__, use it as a saying! I do love my Toki... I'm just not above scaring him! I troll my own cat. Hopefully this shows you all how unstable I am. (haha, but he scares me back, so it's Gucci.) __Chelsea619__, thank you! Yes, I agree that Delic would DESTROY Hibi-chan's dad. Poor thing wouldn't know what hit him. __aurorage__, don't worry about English mistakes, haha. Thank you for promising to stick with me even though you're scared for what I have planned! I can't tell you, because that would ruin it, but YES, you will probably cry. Anywho, I love all of you! Let's all sit back, and continue the story, ne?_

_ Hibiya: We've been trying to do that for hours now. You ramble too much, commoner._

_ Sachi: ...Your face rambles._

_ Delic: On with the story!_

* * *

_Gigs_

Teenage Hibiya stood outside his father's study. He needed the courage to do what he was about to do...

He was going to tell his father to stop playing the little 'game'. He had already told his mother, and his grandparents what was going on. Of course his mother didn't believe him, but at least she knew. He had known for a while that it was wrong. Since he had walked in on his mother 'playing' with his dance teacher at age 11. He was now 15.

He took a deep breath, and walked into his father's study. The man was behind a desk, going through mounds of paperwork. His golden eyes looked up at his son.

"Get out, Hibiya. I have no desire to speak with you." he spat.

"I have none to speak with you either, Father. However, it must be done." Hibiya said in response.

Even when angry, proper grammar was always used in their household. Using improper grammar meant harsh punishment.

His father narrowed his eyes, and stood from his desk, but still stayed behind it.

"I would speak with you if you weren't a liar."

"I'm not a liar, Father. You are in denial."

"You told your grandparents I was molesting you!" his father hissed.

"I did not say 'was'. I said 'is'. It's present tense, Father. You're still molesting me."

"Get out."

"No. You need to stop this. I want it to stop."

Hibiya's fists were clenched so tightly his nails were digging into his hand. He was terrified, but he wasn't doing it for him. He was doing it for his little sister. She was 5 now. He never wanted her to go through what he went through.

His father stormed around his desk and made a beeline straight for Hibiya. The young raven closed his eyes and waited for the beating, knowing it was coming.

Every punch was resolve.

Every kick was anger.

Every threat was a promise for revenge.

When his mother came in, she screamed at her husband. Hibiya was a bleeding mess on the floor, curled around himself to try and shield himself from the assault. His parents fought amongst themselves, while he fought to catch his breath. His consciousness faded in and out as the shouts rang in his ears.

In the morning, he awoke to find his bags packed. His father wanted to send him away, and his mother had no reason to object. Neither of them loved him after all. He had always known that.

But it still hurt.

His face was almost unrecognizable as he washed the dried blood away in the bathroom, waiting for his ride to his new boarding school. The hardest part was leaving his little sister alone with _him_, but he had no choice.

When his limo arrived, he had to pry the little girl off his pants leg.

"I don't want you to goooooo! I love you!" she was screaming.

"I love you too. I'll be back, I promise. Take care of everything for me, ne? Be a big girl?"

She nodded, still soaking his pantsleg with her tears. Finally, his mother pulled her off.

"You're being ridiculous! Stop crying before you get a spanking!"

Hibiya gave his sister a bitter smile, before he crawled in the limo's massive backseat. From the window above, he could see his father glaring at the limo as it drove away.

"Christ, son! What happened to your face?" the driver asked as he looked into the rearview mirror. Hibiya shrugged.

"It doesn't matter. It'll never happen to me again." he sighed. It was a promise to himself.

His father would never touch him again.

* * *

I sigh as I lean against the counter at work. It's our slow time again, and today there's no Erika to persuade Deborah to let me go early. Either way, I need the money, so I would stay regardless.

I get off at 4 again, and it's 3:45 right now. Time just seems to be slowing down as my final minutes approach. Deborah sighs too from beside me.

"This is truly the worst part of this job." she says.

"Indeed. But it's kind of nice to relax after such a rush this morning, ne?" I smirk.

"I can tell you come from a wealthy family just by how you talk." she laughs. "You always speak so proper!"

"Oh... I have to..." I shrug. It's a habit I've never been able to break. I always speak like this... There's no other way for me to speak.

There's a ding again, signaling a customer. I look up to meet the warm eyes I've grown accustomed to staring back at me.

"Hey, cutie. What time you off?" Delic purrs, leaning against the counter.

"Soon. Just waiting until 4." I grin, looking at the clock. It's now 3:50.

Deborah looks between us and smiles a little to herself.

"Another friend of yours?" she asks.

"You could say that." he smirks, leaning back to look at the menu. "Ah, I want a smoothie! Strawberry, please." he says. I turn to get it, but Deborah shoos me away, telling me to knock off a few minutes early again.

"No! Not today! I need to get paid and-" I start.

"It's fine, Hibiya! You've been working hard all day! It's only 7 minutes anyway." she says. Sure enough, it's now 3:53. Time goes by faster when Delic is here.

I smile at her and clock out, going around the counter to stand beside the blonde.

"Oh? Did I order a beautiful little raven with my smoothie?" he asks, putting his hands under the strings of my apron.

"Mmm, no. You're just the 1000th customer. Lucky for me~." I say seductively, leaning into him as he pulls our faces together.

I love the fact that he's getting so touchy even in public. I suppose someone like Delic has no shame, but the fact that he still wants me after knowing I'm ruined... Well, it means a lot to me.

"Here's your smoothie." Deborah says sweetly, holding it out to Delic. He pulls away from me with a slight smacking noise and takes it from her.

"Thank you, ma'am. I must say, your employee here is delicious too~."

"I agree! He's the sweetest thing!" Deborah laughs, waving her hand dismissively as Delic tries to pay.

"No charge. You two have fun."

"What time do I work tomorrow?" I ask.

"We're closed tomorrow, dear."

"We are?"

"Yes. Tomorrow is Sunday."

Ah, I forgot that some shops consider Sunday a holy day.

Tomorrow means a whole week living with Delic.

"Oh, alright. See you Monday?" I ask.

"Yep! Same time, same place!" she smiles.

Delic pulls me outside and leans my body against the wall, pushing against me.

"You look so cute in your little apron." he says as he kisses along my jaw.

"Hah... I guess I can start wearing it around the apartment." I sigh happily as he nips my neck.

"I would _love _that~."

"Then I'll do it for you."

He kisses me fiercely, his free hand trailing down to rest on my hip. I have my hands in his hair. I clench them as I tug a little at the blonde locks. He hisses and kisses me harder. I love learning these little places on him. When we do finally have sex, I know I need to favor his neck, pull his hair, and scratch him a little.

Delic is quite the masochist.

"Christ, Chibiya... It's always so good with you..." he says quietly.

"Of course. I like kissing you."

"Good. If you didn't, I'd feel bad about doing it so much." he chuckles, leaning in again to peck my lips.

"Never feel bad, Delic. I'm yours until I can pay you back for your hospitality." I inform him. His body goes rigid against me.

"...What did you say?"

"That I'm yours?"

"...Say it again."

"...I'm yours, Delic."

He growls, forcing his tongue against mine once more.

"Like the sound...of that..." he pants between kisses.

"Ah...M-Me too...hahhhh..." It's hard to concentrate when he's all over me like this. I think we're both forgetting that we're in public.

He pulls back, looking at me through clouded magenta eyes.

"Chibiya... Do you want to go out with me tonight?" he asks.

"...Like...a date?" I inquire hopefully.

"Yeah... Like a date." he grins, stroking my face with his hand.

I've never been on a date before!

"Of course I'll go out with you tonight!" he beams at me. "Where did you want to go?"

"We have a gig tonight. We're playing our new song. I had to trade shifts so I could have the night off, so I'll be at work all day and night tomorrow." he sighs, still leaning into me. "I know it's not much but... I want you there as my date."

"Then I'll be there."

He shoots me another grin, kissing me one last time before he pulls away from me, keeping our hands clasped together.

"So Saburo mastered the drum part of the new song?" I ask as we walk.

"Hm? Oh, yeah. He told you about that, huh?"

"Yes. I asked him how he was planning to carry his drum set upstairs." I say sheepishly. Looking back, I know it was a stupid thing to ask.

Delic laughs, swinging our hands together.

"You're hilarious." he says.

"...I try." I grin.

When we arrive at his place, Delic goes to get a shower.

"May I borrow your phone?" I ask him.

"...What do you need it for?"

"It's a surprise. Please?"

He looks at me skeptically, before he hands me his phone. When he's in the shower, I quickly find Erika's name under the contacts. I call her.

_"Hellooooo~?"_

"Erika! It's Hibiya."

_"Hibi-chan! What's up?"_

"Delic asked me out on a date."

I have to hold the phone away from my ear for the next part.

_"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! THAT'S THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER!"_

"Yeah... I, um... I need help with something."

_"What's wrong?"_

"What do I wear? I've never been on a date before..."

_"Where are you going?"_

"To see the band play."

_"Then you have to dress sexy! Dress how you did last night!"_

"Those clothes are dirty now though..." I sigh.

_"Not the same clothes, silly. Just wear tight clothes, and try to show skin."_

"That's really embarrassing!"

_"Just trust me! Call me later and tell me how it goes!"_

"Alright...bye..." I say nervously.

I walk into the bedroom and start going through my bag of clothes. I exhale deeply when I find another tank top. I have them because when I sleep, I like to be a little cold so I can bury myself in the blankets. I guess it can work as a regular shirt though. I don't think it was made to be a sleep shirt; I just use it that way.

I pull the golden material over my head, and pair it with some black pants I have. They're not horribly tight, but they're not loose either. I take another deep breath when I hear the water turn off. It means Delic is about to see me.

He opens the door, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. I ogle at his perfect body, my eyes glued to his chest. It's only when I look up that I notice he's doing the same to me.

"_Chibiya~_. You look amazing..."

"So do you..."

"I'm not even dressed yet." he grins.

"Which is why you look amazing."

His eyes darken at my words, and he bites his lip as he goes to the closet to find some clothes. He shamelessly pulls the towel off and starts to get dressed in front of me.

I can feel my face burning, but I can't look away. His body is just...perfect. There's no other word for it. His lean muscles are flexing with his every move and it makes...my mouth water. I want this man so bad.

My body just won't let me have him.

After he pulls his pants on and zips them, he turns to look at me fully dressed.

"Does this look good enough to be seen with you in?" he smiles.

"Anything...looks good on you." I say, turning my head as I fall back into the bed to hide my face. My cheeks still feel hot. I know I'm blushing.

I feel pressure as he crawls on top of me, being careful not to rub our hips together.

"Mmm, anything looks good on you too." he says as he kisses me again. I turn my head and open my mouth, letting him ravish me. I love when he does this.

Our hands wrap together as he keeps kissing me. I can't wait until we can get passed this step, but at the same time, I'm glad I can at least give him this much. He bites my lip as his phone rings. He answers it with one hand, continuing to kiss me after he says 'Hello?'

_"Delic! Hibi-chan look hot?" _Erika's voice says loudly. He grins impishly.

"Ask him yourself." he says as he hands me the phone.

"I think I look about the same as I did last night." I tell her as soon as the phone reaches my grasp.

_"So, hot then?" _

I laugh lightly. Erika is always so forward.

Delic begins to kiss my neck as Erika starts talking about a new book Walker bought her. I can only barely hear her as the blonde's tongue licks my pulse point.

_"And it was so cute! Don't you think so?"_

"Yea-_ahhhhhhhh_... I do..."

_"Are you alright?"_

"I'm _hahhhhhhh_... I'm fine..." I choke out as Delic bites me.

"Don't get too loud~." he says breathily in my ear. I bite my lip in anger because he's teasing me.

_"Call me after your date! I wanna know how it goes!"_

"Alright..._Nnnnnn, _I'll call you then..." I hang up hurriedly, and use my free hands to yank Delic's hair harshly.

"Fuck..." he sighs blissfully.

If this is how tonight is going to be, I'm excited and scared all at once. I want him to ravish me, and at the same time I don't.

I'll do my best to make him happy though.

Because that's what I want most in the world right now.

* * *

_Sachi: I was told I like ending things on cliffhangers because I'm a sadist._

_ Delic: Is that true?_

_ Sachi: A little... But I update frequently! If I was truly mean, I'd wait months between chapters to mess with you! We have at least one chapter a week going on here! I think it's good._

_ Hibiya: You're making the sexual tension very high._

_ Sachi: So it'll be better when it explodes! Muahahaha! Review for a faster update! Or I'll...um...pour salt on this random snail!_

_ Delic: ...Wtf._

_ Hibiya: Just review so she'll shut the fuck up._


	14. Chapter 14

_FINALLY! I get to update this story~! I've added 2 new stories this week, and I've worked overtime I think. So now, on to the love! I got some good ones this week, haha. __Quiet Crash__, awww, you want them to be happy? I think we ALL want that~! As far as 'naughty' goes...maybe. __S. Oyabun__, I SHALL go to his apartment! Great idea! __FallingforWerewolves__, thank you! I thought adding fluff would be appreciated. __Shiroi Hana__, hehe I'm making a lot of sexual tension on purpose. I feel like such a troll. Also, I managed to scare Toki pretty good yesterday. I jumped at him from behind a corner. Poor kitty. __incidentalmusic__, I don't know what you mean~. __Braverly-Homunculus__, haha, I'll give you more when I get ideas in my warped mind! __KarkadeVantas__, I know! I love the tension! It's almost like you could cut it with a hot knife~! __aurorage__, I wanted to see Delic too... *sniffle* also, saying DELICious candy made me burst out laughing. Great play on words! __BlueRoseDream__, THANK YOU! Even if I am trolling just a wee bit, I do provide you guys with fanservice, ne? I'm not a complete sadist! __LimeCrayons__, your favorite? T-Thank yooooou! Please don't make your ovaries explode... I can't afford it! Also, I don't advise peeing on yourself. It'd be too much trouble! __jusqualafin__, SMUT was the overall basis for this week's reviews, haha. I will see what I can do~. Also, has anyone ever noticed that 'TUMS' backwards is 'SMUT'? I always feel dirty when I take one. __erihan__, BAHAHAHA, that'd be hilarious! I can see it too on many video games. I'd still play them! :3 Now, since you guys have been so patient, I'm going to reward you! (with more teasing, or not?) On with the story! *insert troll face here*_

* * *

_Date Night_

I smile lightly to myself as Delic leads me into the bar. It's another run-down joint, but he explained to me earlier that everyone has to start somewhere. Delic's dream is to be recognized as a song writer. He told me there's not really even much he wants from his bass guitar playing. He just wants his songs to be acknowledged.

I revel in the fact that he can't seem to keep his hands off me tonight. If they're not wrapped in mine, they're on my shoulders, or on my hips, or brushing against my thighs. It makes me feel _ecstatic _because... He wants me. I know this as a fact now. He wants me _bad._

Kadota and Saburo walk in and immediately spot us in the corner. Delic is standing up behind me as I sit on the stool. His arms are wrapped around me from behind and his lips are against my ear.

"You two look awfully chummy." Kadota states blandly. Ah, so he's sober tonight.

"Yeah, you guys are in your own little world back here!" Saburo says loudly. He's sober too if he's showing such emotion.

The two are polar opposites.

"I _love _holding him~." Delic purrs against my ear, the vibrations making me shiver.

"I love when you hold me." I say, turning my head to kiss him.

"Already like a married couple." Kadota grins, taking the stool beside me. "I never thought I'd see Delic Heiwajima in a monogamous relationship."

"Heiwajima? So that's your last name." I say happily like I've won something. I told him mine, but never bothered to ask his.

I like it though.

"Yep, you caught me. I'm a Heiwajima." he laughs as he kisses along my neck. Like I said, he won't let me go tonight.

Not that I'm complaining.

"Oi, lovebird, do you have the lyrics mastered for the new song yet?" Saburo asks, standing beside Kadota and ordering a beer from the bartender.

"Of course I do." the blonde huffs, turning from me to glare at Saburo. "Do _you _have your drum part ready?"

"Of course."

I watch Saburo take a long swig of his beer. It reminds me that I'm pretty thirsty. Of course, I can't order any drinks until after I get paid. Even then, Delic doesn't like it when I drink. Or I should say he really hates it.

Delic is always trying to protect me from something.

Saburo places his bottle on the counter and I swipe it and take a drink. Kadota laughs at me, and Saburo snatches it back with a grin on his face. Delic growls and holds me tighter.

"Chibiya."

"It was just one sip! Besides, I'm thirsty." I say innocently.

"Thirsty huh?" he asks as his hands start to roam around my stomach, one of them going inside the shirt.

"Hmmmmm, yeah..." I say blissfully as I lean my head backwards into the crook of his neck.

"If I buy you a drink, you have to promise to be good and make it last. Don't throw it back like a shot." he says as his lips nibble my earlobe.

"I... I'm always...good..."

His hands are massaging my stomach now and he's swaying slightly. I don't know what he's doing, but I don't want him to ever let go. He does though, because he goes to ask the bartender for a drink. I'm willing to bet it won't be very strong, whatever it is.

"Are you _sure _you're not dating him?" Kadota asks me, leaning into my personal space.

"I... We're on _a _date. I don't think that qualifies yet..." I respond quietly.

Kadota leans against me and whispers in my ear.

"Do you want to know how I know he's crazy about you?" he asks.

"How?"

"Because he's storming over here in rage just from seeing me whisper in your ear."

And sure enough, Delic is there in a flash holding my drink.

"Relax. I just told him the truth." Kadota grins innocently. I nod to show he wasn't trying anything.

"What time are you guys going on?" I ask as Delic's arms resume holding me. I take a drink of whatever is in the glass. It's ginger ale.

"In a few minutes. We play 4 songs tonight, then we're done." Saburo informs me, leaning against the counter.

"Which is good. We have plans after." Delic says, motioning to me.

"Oh? And what are those plans?" Kadota grins.

"Heh. It's not important to you."

I laugh lightly as I place my hands on Delic's. I have no clue what he has planned either. As long as I'm with him, I'm happy enough.

Dear Lord, don't tell him I said that. He'll never let me live it down!

"Erika seems to really like you." Saburo says to me. "Walker said he's not sure whether or not to be jealous, since you're all she talks about."

"Walker has no concerns." I laugh. "I'm pretty hopeless when it comes to women."

"Erika said you attract them like flies."

"Do I? I never noticed..."

"Chibiya doesn't know when people are flirting with him. It happens every damn day though." Delic informs them.

"It does not! I'll have you know when I was with Erika, a group of guys flirted with her and not me at all!"

"That's because Erika is scary as hell when she's drunk. I'm sure she has quite the reputation around those places. The ones that flirted are probably new." Kadota says.

"She's scary? I thought she was fun." I say.

"Nah, it's because once this guy got really handsy and pushed her against the wall and tried to...you know. She beat the shit out of him. She even threatened to castrate him!" Saburo laughs.

"...Really? Wow, Erika is tough." I say.

"Which is why I trusted her enough to let you go out with her alone." Delic states matter of factly. "I knew she wouldn't let anything happen to you."

"Haha, nothing bad is going to happen to me."

A man with a ponytail comes up to talk to them about their performance before Delic can respond to me. They have to go on stage to do a 'sound check', whatever that is.

"I'll be back when we're done." Delic tells me as he leans over me.

"I'll be here."

He grins and kisses me slowly, humming into my mouth.

"I know. That's why I'm so happy."

I watch him go before I settle into my quiet bubble I've enveloped myself in. No one is sitting near me right now, aside from a man in a business suit. But he's too involved in the beer he's nursing to bother me.

There's been something bothering me lately. It's been on the outskirts of my mind, but I try not to dwell on it for too long. It makes me want to drown when I think about it.

What's happening to my sister?

She's 11 years old now... I haven't seen her at all since I left for boarding school so many years ago. When I dropped out, I had to move in with grandparents right away. Mother and Father forbade me from seeing them, or her. I saw my parents once a month ago. I haven't seen them since.

My sister... I wonder if she's alright. I wonder if she's going through what I went through at her age. I wonder...if she still loves me.

Tears prick my eyes. I curse and wipe them away angrily. _This _is why I don't try to dwell on this subject too long. Tonight isn't about my problems. It's about Delic and I. If I start to have a breakdown again, I don't know what I'll do.

There's a slight squeaking noise as someone sits in the stool Kadota was occupying only moments before.

"You alright?" the blonde asks.

"I'm fine. Just...had an unpleasant daydream." I say, rubbing my eyes.

"Forgive me for intruding. My boyfriend said he thought you looked like you were crying, so I decided to come check on you."

"Masaomi! That's not true! You just went over there yourself!" a black haired man says from beside me.

"That's Mikado and I'm Masaomi. Who are you?" the blonde asks.

"I'm Hibiya."

"Well, Hibiya, nice to meet you!" Masaomi grins as he shakes my hand. "We're here to see the band play, We really like them. We saw you getting all lovey dovey with the lead singer. You his boyfriend?"

"No. We're on a date though." I say.

"Ah. You gonna fuck him tonight?"

I spit out my ginger ale.

_"W-What?"_

"Haha. Sorry, it just seemed like a good possibility based on how he was all over you." Masaomi grins.

"He... He wasn't _all _over me..."

"Please. He was on you like a panda on bamboo."

"Um... Masaomi means you looked really cute together. We were just saying so." Mikado says.

"Thanks..."

"So, Hibiya, how's your famous daddy?" Masaomi grins.

"...Who cares?" I sigh, annoyed that someone else recognizes me.

"Daddy issues huh? I feel ya. I hate my old man too." Masaomi shrugs.

"You do? Why?"

"He's an asshole. That's it really. Why do you hate yours?"

"...Same reason."

We share a brief laugh together.

"I'm gonna get a beer, Masaomi!" Mikado laughs happily. I quirk an eyebrow.

"...You two aren't legal, are you?"

"Shhhh! We're 20, alright? I just don't want to wait until I'm 21, it's fucking unfair! So, we're using the same ID that got us in here." the blonde hisses.

"...Why don't you just give me the money and let me buy it for you? I'm actually legal." I smirk.

"Oh, you'd do that? You're AWESOME!"

The lights dim as Delic, Kadota, and Saburo take the stage. They introduce themselves.

"I'll get it when they're done." I promise them, my eyes glued to Delic.

The music starts first. The notes seem to flow over me like they did last time. I remember them practicing this song in Delic's living room, but it sounds so different now. I'm in love with it.

Delic's voice begins to follow the harmony, and I instantly feel my face heat up as his eyes settle on me. He's singing about sex and tender feelings of...love? I feel my mouth open as I gape at him. I hope to every being in Heaven that he didn't write this song about me.

I don't deserve his love.

All too soon, they're finished with their new song. I watch as they leave the stage, and come back toward the bar. Delic throws his arms around me again.

"What did you think?" he breathes in my ear.

"I... I loved it..." I tell him truthfully. He purrs and catches my lips with his.

"I knew you would." he says.

There's a slight tugging on my arm.

"Come ON, Hibiya! Pleeeeeeaaaaaasssssseeeee~!" Masaomi wails, tugging me down from my stool.

"Wait just a second!" I hiss at him.

"Want me to write your famous daddy a letter? I'll say his son is being a meanie."

I feel my blood freeze. Honestly, I know if this random kid sent my father a letter, he would never open it or read it. But still... Just the _thought _of him knowing where I am... It scares me. It must show on my face, because Delic growls at the younger blonde.

Masaomi and Mikado are just kids. I know it's funny to hear me say that because I'm only a year or so older than them, but I'm not a kid anymore.

I grew up a long time ago.

I sigh as I unravel myself from Delic and lead the two to the bar. I order them two beers, and pay the man behind the counter. As we walk back, Mikado falls into step with me.

"You... You really hate your dad, don't you?" he asks me quietly.

Instead of answering, I just nod.

"I don't blame you. We read about the Oriharas all the time on the gossip websites. Your dad seems really mean."

I freeze and turn to him quickly, making both him and Masaomi run into me.

"Did... Did it say anything about my sister?" I ask them hopefully.

"...I don't think so... Here, give me your number and I'll text you tonight." Mikado answers me nicely.

"I don't have a phone. Just... Meet me tomorrow by Deb's Coffee Shop, okay? Around 11am? I... I really need to know..." I say quietly. "Don't tell anyone, ne? This is between us."

They both nod in unison, their eyes wide. I know I'm probably scaring them right now, but I can't help it. They're my only link to my forgotten life.

We walk back to the bar, and I thrust myself into Delic's arms. He blinks in surprise, before he holds me close.

"Everything alright?" he asks me.

"I just... I need a hug..." I say pathetically.

He starts to rock us side to side again as he holds me. I inhale his scent and am immediately comforted. I don't know what I would do without this man. He's... He's so perfect to me...

They play exactly three more songs, and before the night is over, Saburo, Mikado, Masaomi, and Kadota are all entirely drunk. Delic and I are sober because he won't let me drink anything.

"Where to now?" I ask him. He looks at his watch and yawns.

"I wanted to go see a movie, but it's later than I thought it would be. I have to get up at 7am..." he says tiredly. It's a little after 1am right now.

"Then let's go home."

"Are you sure? This is our first date and all..." he says.

"Delic, it's fine. Just take me home."

He smiles and takes my hand, leading me down the street and to his apartment.

"I'm sorry someone else recognized you. I know you get upset over it." he tells me as we walk.

"It's fine. Honestly, I'm more surprised more people haven't already. I'm just... I'm scared of _him _finding me."

"If he does, I'll take care of him."

"I know you will... I'm glad...you're with me..." I admit to him.

"I'll always be with you, Chibiya. No matter what. I promised to protect you, and I will."

I fall more into his side, and he releases my hand to wrap his arms around me as we walk. I'm sure it's uncomfortable for him to walk hunched over this way, but I don't comment on it, because I don't want him to release me.

We arrive home, and he immediately falls onto the bed.

"G'night..." he groans.

"Good night." I laugh, pulling off my jeans and finding sleep pants. "Do you want me to undress you?"

"Nah... It's cool..." he says into the pillow.

I crawl beside him and nuzzle under his arm.

"I had fun with you..." I tell him.

"Mmmm... M'not fun..." he sighs. "I wanted to do so much... I want to give you more..."

"Delic, if you give me any more, I think I'll owe you a million dollars."

"You don't owe me...anything..."

"I do. I owe you a great deal. You do so much for me all the time. The good news is that I can pay you my half of the rent when I get paid." I say as I stroke his hair.

"Nnnn...Keep it... I want you to save money..."

"Why?"

"Just in case. You never know in today's world..."

I move in closer and nibble on his ear.

"Shouldn't you be asleep by now?" I ask him breathily as I nip his earlobe.

"Ahh... I can't sleep when there's a cute little raven all over me..." he purrs.

Part of Delic being half asleep is that his reasoning is turned off. I can get away with a lot more. I lick his lips before I thrust my tongue in his mouth. He growls and yanks me closer, dominating the kiss.

Moaning lowly, I pull him on top of me. It doesn't take much strength, since he's crawling forward on his own mostly. He uses the opportunity to shove his tongue in further, and I can't help but mewl as I feel it in the back of my throat.

"So...So fuckin' sexy..." he sighs, moving his hands to my sides and grasping my hips. I smirk slightly, because I'm about to make him hate me.

All these times he's kissed me, held me, touched me, I've been taking notes. I know what to do to make him lose his self-control. Of course, I can't do anything too drastic.

I'm just tired of not being able to do anything for him at all.

I place my hands in his hair, and yank as hard as I can.

"Hahhhh...C-Chibiya..."

"Delic...kiss me again."

He does as he's told and connects our mouths heatedly. I take this chance to ignore the safe distance he has between our bodies, and thrust my hips up against his.

"Ahhh...Delic..." I purr, repeating the action as I feel his hardened arousal against mine. It feels incredible.

"Sto...Stop...Fuck, don't..." he pleads as I repeat it.

"It's alright, Delic. It's alright to do this. I'm giving you permission." I say as I move my hands to his hips to slam them against mine.

"_Ahhh..._" he groans, giving in and riding against me. He hisses as I meet him in the air with my own hips. "Shouldn't...do this..." he says.

"Mmmm, Delic... I want this..." I inform him as I shove our mouths together again. I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him more against me, the responding friction incredible.

He growls and presses down even harder as I move to his neck to bite him harshly. We repeat this continuously, before something _amazing _consumes me. I start to shake as I move to my own private cloud.

"D-Delic... Mmmmm, God... Feels so good..." I mewl as the tremors rack me entirely. All I can do is say his name over and over. It's the only word I know right now.

His body shakes against me as he presses down one last time, before he falls against me and our hips stop moving.

"That... That was amazing..." I say contently as I'm pressed into the mattress by his weight. My voice breaks.

Fuck.

"Chibiya... Always...pushing yourself so hard..." he sighs as he wipes my tears away.

"I... I want to do everything I can for you...Delic..." I sob into his chest.

"But...Why?"

"You... You're everything to me..."

He leans up and balances his weight on his elbows as he hovers over me.

"Chibiya..." he smirks as he kisses me again. I cry harder because of how understanding he is. It's just...

It's so _like _him.

He holds me as I let out my frustration on his shoulder. He's so much to me.

He's everything.

He's perfect...

Maybe one day, I can help him and myself without breaking down.

Maybe the simple act of having an orgasm won't destroy me in the future. Even so...

I take solace in the face that Delic will be there either way.

* * *

_Sachi: A little lemon. See? I try._

_ Hibiya: I'm telling you this for your safety. You need to appease the fan girls before they devour you._

_ Sachi: Eh? But... T-The lemon..._

_ Delic: After all the tension you've put in this story? It's not enough._

_ Sachi: ...But..._

_ Hibiya: Review for love. Also if you want more lemon in the future!_

_ Delic: REVIEW! I WANT MORE LEMON!_


	15. Chapter 15

_Almost a whole week and no update! I've been SO BUSY. Do you know what I hate? Boring things. Do you know what work is? BORING! Gah, I fucking hate it! It's too much work with no money. I apologize, I'm pretty hung over right now, haha. Anywho, I'll update because I have plenty of ideas in my head and I can type regardless! Now, on to my virtual love! __Logic Dive__, once again, you have good instincts. I agree that more lemon is needed, but poor Hibi-chan isn't ready yet... __S. Oyabun__, I'm not really good with Tsu-chan and Psyche! I will write a fic if I'm given a request and a storyline. __Quiet Crash__, fluff? Can do! __XxTeddybearshooterxX__, I thought of that too, but decided to have them old enough to be able to relate to Hibi-chan. He needs more friends! __Shiroi Hana__, We all want more lemon! Also, Toki LIKES to be scared. That's my outlook on it. __FallingforWerewolves__, I agree! What's the fun in having a full lemon now? I think if you wait, you'll see it's hotter! __Burning-Petals__, Erika IS a scary drunk! __BlueRoseDream__, AGREED! I wish the legal drinking age was lower... I'm so close! __erihan__, I bet Delic will be tired too... Poor thing being seduced by Hibi-chan. __KarkadeVantas__, Bahahaha! I should put a warning on the front! WARNING: angst, sadness, lemon, hotness, and SMUT. Enjoy~. __Kate__, I enjoy a good creeper! I like OOC Hibi-chan better. __Paranormal Alchemist__, you died for a while? ZOMBIE! I assure you, it's not Izaya that's his daddy. Izaya will never be hetero enough in my stories to have kids unless it's an MPREG. IZAYA IS MINE! __LimeCrayons__, it's supposed to kill you! That's my goal! I love the tension being crazy thick! __Rai Rai Blue__, are you CRAZY? Of course I remember you! You used to review every chapter of 'Psychosomatic Monsters'! I actually have lots of stories now, haha. I'm glad you're liking it so far! Also, to answer your question... Hmmm... Alright, if my last story made you cry, this one will make you bawl. So, get some tissues, haha. I love all of you! I had a total troll moment this week, so I decided to share it with you! My sister is on a dating site, and this one guy's profile headline said "Looking for someone to chase after God with." I convinced her to type, "If you catch God, let me know. If he hollers, let him go." Haha, so on that note, ON WITH THE STORY!_

* * *

_Healing_

Hibiya sighed for the umpteenth time as he looked at his material he was supposed to be learning. His uniform was wrinkled and unkempt; his appearance was the same. He tried his best to make great strides in his academics. Currently, he had very good grades. Not that his parents cared.

He had been at the academy for almost a full year.

He could count on one hand how many times he head seen his parents. He hadn't seen his sister once.

Recently, he had been having some trouble falling asleep. Something about the quiet atmosphere of a semi-empty dorm room made him feel wide awake. Oddly enough, the loud noise in a classroom made him horribly tired. He had fallen asleep in every class today.

"Oi, Hibiya." his roommate said as he strolled in their shared quarters. The two weren't really friends, but didn't argue much either. His roommate was a complete playboy, in every way possible.

Luckily, he only seemed to go for pretty girls. He had remarked once how Hibiya looked like a girl, but the raven's hostile rant on the subject made him drop it. They really only conversed if Seiji needed the full room to himself that night, which was often.

"What is it?" Hibiya yawned. He closed the book he had been trying to read. He stopped trying when he realized he had been reading the same sentence over and over for twenty minutes and _still _had no clue what the hell it said. Seiji grinned at him.

"I'm bringing Mika here tonight. Do you still have some of that vodka left?"

Ah, Hibiya _always _had some vodka handy. Since he was wealthy, he had connections. Plenty of the upperclassmen had ways to acquire alcohol, and he got it from them in exchange for a small fee. His parents never really bothered to ask where the small portion of his money he received every month was going. He never bothered to tell them.

"Of course. What do you need it for? Mika doesn't drink." he said as he leaned back in his chair.

"Nah, she doesn't. I was hoping you'd hang out here for a bit tonight. Mika has this idea that you don't like her or something. I told her you're just anti-social, but she still thinks you hate her." Seiji sighed.

"I don't _hate _her. I hate everything she says, does, thinks, and _is_, but I don't hate her."

Seiji burst into laughter and flopped back on his bed at this.

"Dude, you are too funny. You've already been drinking, haven't you?"

Hibiya flashed him a rare grin.

"Yes. I thought it would make this book more interesting. Somehow, it hasn't worked yet." the raven said as he slapped the book off the table. "Bitch." he added as the book landed on the floor.

Seiji was laughing again. Everyone said Hibiya was the funniest drunk. Really, it was a habit he had picked up on when he lived at home. The alcohol made his pain lessen. Well, sometimes it did. Other times, it just made it worse. Either way, Hibiya only truly drank when he was stressed. Recently, this had been happening more and more though.

"So, will you hang out?" Seiji asked as his laughter subsided. Hibiya cocked his head to the side as he observed the floor.

"Mmmm, no. If you're having company tonight, I'd rather not be a third wheel all night. Also, I need to study... I wish I could just sleep though."

"Ah, okay. Maybe I'll just go somewhere with her. She's been bitching about this movie she wants to see. You do look like you could use some sleep tonight anyway." Seiji informed him as he stood from his bed. "Just a thought though. You'd make friends if you tried." the brunette grinned.

"Heh. That's good to know." Hibiya chuckled as he opened his book again and settled down into his mattress. Seiji left the room and closed the door behind him.

As Hibiya tried to read over the same material over and over, he let his mind wander.

Why didn't he want friends? Surely most 16 year old boys would love having friends. He himself never wanted them. He was always around people no matter what, and that's all he craved. He wasn't social at all, but he hated to be alone. When he was alone, his mind would plague him.

Honestly... He didn't want friends because he didn't want to get close to anyone. What was the point? All they would do is hurt him. If his own parents hated him, he must be an unworthy specimen for anyone's love.

That's the cynical view on life Hibiya Orihara had learned to live with.

Sighing for his final time, he threw the book on the floor again and shut off his lamp. He covered himself, and decided to try to force his body to sleep.

_"One thing is for sure..." _he thought to himself as he fell into a light slumber, _"If I ever have any friends they're going to have to be just as fucked up as me..."_

* * *

I wake up as I feel the source of warmth leave the bed. I listen intently as Delic stumbles into the bathroom to get ready. I feel awful for him; he has to work all day _and _all night. I know he's tired... I kept him out all night.

The shower cuts on, and the steam flows in from under the crack of the bathroom door. I roll over to his side of the bed, when I notice my pants are sticking to me.

Shit.

Last night...was the first time someone had ever given me an orgasm. Delic...he was my first. I want him to be my first _everything_. He _is _everything... Only a week and I'm so attached to him. It's scary. I've never allowed myself to become this way with anyone... I... I love him...

Wait, no. I'm just tired! I feel something for the blonde, but I don't know what it is yet. Love is just... It's something I don't deserve. I won't ever deserve it.

I'm ruined.

Either way, I have to do something about this stiffness in my sleep pants. I roll out of bed and pull more bottoms out from Delic's dresser. Grinning slightly, I pull his pants onto me. They're too big, but I like them. They smell like him.

I walk back to the bed and bury myself under the covers. I hear the door open, and I peek up as I see him enter the room. He's wearing casual clothes, a T shirt and jeans, but to me, he looks amazing. I watch him walk back up to the bed and I pretend to sleep as he nears me.

"So cute, Chibiya..." he says in my ear as he kisses along my jawline. I lean into his caresses and moan lowly as my hands move on their own to grasp onto his wet hair.

"Delic..." I say quietly as he turns my head so our lips can meet. He kisses me deeply as his hands roam around my chest. I arch into his hold, wondering why he's allowing this. Usually, he tries to distance himself from me when it comes to sexual activity, but right now, he's all over me. His body presses into mine as we sink into the mattress together.

"Ahhh...you're so...so good..." he purrs as his hands go under my shirt and they play with my hardening nipples.

"_Hahhhh~_..." I moan as I thrust my body against his. His eyes darken, and a predatory look sweeps across his face. He grinds down against me again, making me almost scream. He leans down to my ear.

"Trying to make me dirty, Chibiya~?" he asks as he thrusts against me agonizingly slow. I growl in frustration and try to slam myself up against him, but his hands are holding my hips down now. I only just noticed they weren't in my shirt anymore.

"I just took a shower, you know. That's not very nice of you." he smirks as he tugs my legs open more to sit between them. "I may have to punish you."

"Please... Ahhh, Delic... Punish me..." I mewl as I pull his face to mine again. He snarls like an animal before he reaches inside my sleep pants, grasping onto my hardened flesh. He gives me a teasing stroke.

"Ahhh! Oh, God..." I pant as I buck more into his teasing hand. He looks at me in approval before he pulls me up, moving to sit behind me and making my body lean against him. His legs are parted, and I'm between them. His knees are on either side of me, and his free arm wraps around my waist. He uses his other arm to pull my hand down to my erection, making me grasp it.

"Mmmm, Chibiya. I want to see how you want me to touch you." he says as he blows hot air into my ear. His chin is on my shoulder, and my head is lying backwards between his shoulder and neck.

"N-No..." I pant as I put his hand on top of mine so we're both grabbing me. "You...move them..."

He smirks and does what he's told, using his larger hand to guide mine. I throw my head back against his shoulder and whimper as he picks up speed. It feels... It feels so fucking good.

"P-Please..." I whine as he starts to suck on the spot under my ear, "Let me...let go..." He releases my hand so I can let go of my own arousal, and his hand immediately grabs me again. His hand is so much warmer than mine! He pumps harder as my breathing picks up.

"I want you to scream..." he says as he bites my neck. "I want to hear my name too."

I mewl as my hips start to work against his hand. I lean a little against his other leg, so my hand can palm him through his pants. He hisses and uses his other hand to guide mine.

"Ahhhhh~ OH, Delic..." I purr as the wonderful shaking feeling comes back. "You... You're so good...at this..." I emphasize this by rubbing him harder through his clothes.

"Mmmm..." he sighs as he opens my mouth with his tongue. We kiss desperately as we each crawl over the edge. I scream his name as I release into his hand. I feel him shaking as there's sudden wetness against my own hand that's palming him. He kisses me again as he pulls his hand away from me. I almost die when he brings it to his face to lick the mess off his fingers.

"That's so...unsanitary..." I inform him as I lounge against him.

"It's delicious." he says as he licks his hand again. I can't help but think it's sexy that he finds me so tasty.

I'm crying again, but it's only part of the process. Delic begins to kiss my tears away as he changes our positions again. He's crawling over me.

"I'm sorry for that..." he says lowly as his tongue sweeps across my face to lick away my tears. "But I've noticed something."

"What?" I sniffle as my hands clutch his hair.

"You're getting so much better. Look! Last time I tried to give you a hand job, you screamed in terror. Now, you actually let me do it. You came too. I think...as long as we go slowly still, that you're almost ready."

I consider this as he looks down at me hopefully.

"Go slowly?"

"You know, start small. We'll work our way up to the major stuff. Right now, I'm very content with how things are." he smiles as he kisses me. I can taste the saltiness of myself in his mouth. It's not quite as bad as I pictured. I moan as I fight him for dominance. He lets me win this time, so I thrust my tongue into the back of his throat, licking greedily. He mewls in agreement.

"I'll take whatever you'll give me..." I say as my hands trail to his shirt and start to lift it up. He takes over the kiss again as he lets my hands span across his broad chest. He's _devouring _me.

"I'll give you everything, Chibiya." he breathes out as he nibbles my tongue. "But now, I'm going to be late."

I pout as I let him rise from me and go to the closet. He changes his boxers and pants before he returns to me.

"I want you to relax today. Don't try to clean or anything, I know how you are. I'll clean up later." he says as he kisses me again. "I'm leaving you my cell phone. If you need me, just call the contact that says 'work'. I'll be home as soon as I can."

"I'll...miss you."

He smirks at me and licks my chin.

"I'll miss you too. Be good."

"What am I, a toddler? I'm always good!" I hiss at him.

"Nope. Sorry, but I consider what you just did to be very, _very _naughty." he says mischievously.

"Oh, well that's fine. I'm allowed to do that with you."

"Yep. Only me."

"Who else?"

We kiss again before he leaves me. I hate knowing that he won't be here for so long. I glance up on the dresser and see the time from his digital clock. It's only 6:30 in the morning. Well, I doubt I'll be able to sleep now!

I take a quick shower and throw our sullied clothes in the hamper. We really need to do laundry soon. As I return to the bedroom, I call Erika.

_"Hello?" _she answers groggily.

"It's Hibiya."

_"Hey! I totally just woke up. Walker is going to work early today."_

"Yeah, Delic just left too. Do you want to meet up?"

_"Yeah! Want to meet at the coffee shop? I have to see Walker off first." _she replies happily.

"We can, but we'll have to go back there. I'm meeting some guys there at 11." I tell her.

_"...Guys? You're meeting GUYS? Hibi-chan, I don't approve."_

"Eh? NO! I'm just... Just meet me there after you help Walker." I sigh.

_"Will do!"_

I leave the apartment, locking it behind me. I decide to just go to the bar after I meet all these people today. I'll walk Delic home.

Shut up! I don't have a key, alright? What do you expect me to do?

Anyway, I'm just glad to have company today while he's gone. I hate being alone. I've _always _hated being alone.

Now though, I have friends, and while it's scary, it's also invigorating.

I know I'm not going to be alone.

* * *

_Sachi: I went to the mall today and bought a new T shirt! Can anyone guess what it says?_

_ Delic: Will fuck for food?_

_ Hibiya: I'm with stupid with an arrow pointing upwards?_

_ Sachi: ...No. It says "Mordecai and the Rigbys"! I have a Regular Show shirt now! Heck yes!_

_ Hibiya: Shouldn't you save money? You're always saying how you should save money._

_ Sachi: Yeah, but it had to be done! I NEEDED that shirt. Now I have it, and I rule. So BLAM! Anywho, review for love! Also, I may update faster if I get nice reviews! ('Cause that's how I roll, Tootsie!)_


	16. Chapter 16

_See? I promised! A faster update due to my remarkable reviewers! Ahh, I got off early today. We were dead, so my manager was like, "I'll let one of you go." and he tried to let this other girl go. I practically climbed on top of him screaming "Please let me go, I'm so BORED!" and he laughed and let me go. Also, I kind of had my own fun making paper airplanes and throwing them around the store for a while... I get bored really easily. Anywho, on to the love. __Paranormal Alchemist__, yay for Regular Show shirts! I love how you pet Delic much to his dismay, haha. To answer your guessing, Hibi-chan's family members are all going to be OC's except his sister. The other alts will NOT be in this story at all. It's the first one I've ever written with no Izaya at all. (sadness) __Logic Dive__, an early update! __LimeCrayons__, you exploded? I can't put lemon in every chapter! It'll get boring! __S. Oyabun__, I love bad Hibi-chan too. __KarkadeVantas__, that's a lot of love! I love you too! To answer your question, I'm a pretty frequent updater, but if I get busy, I'll update at least once a week. If it's ever longer than that, it means something is wrong, haha. __Braverly-Homunculus__, sorry for no alts. :( This is strictly a DelHibi. __Threegreenbeans__, spiders? I fucking HATE spiders! I killed one last night with hairspray. It deserved it for being an 8 legged beast with evil intent in its devil eyes! __BlueRoseDream__, I'm actually pretty good at saving money. I kind of splurged yesterday... (I also bought a thick pair of nerd glasses, just to have them.) __Rai Rai Blue__, Delic may be messed up. He may not be messed up. Hehe, I'm not telling just yet~. *troll face* And it was a nice review! __aurorage__, haha, I like giving away his past in tiny slivers! Also, 'Mordecai and the Rigbys' is a fake band name from a popular cartoon here in the U.S. It's called 'Regular Show' and it's about a bluejay (Mordecai) who works as a landscaper with his best raccoon friend (Rigby). In one of the episodes, they create a band and name it 'Mordecai and the Rigbys', and I bought a shirt just like the one in the cartoon. It's HILARIOUS! If you ever get to watch it, I recommend it highly. Plus, J.G. Quintel, the creator and the voice of Mordecai, is incredibly sexy. Just saying. Now, on with the story! _

* * *

_Questions_

Erika is standing outside the coffee shop when I arrive. It's still early in the morning. She yawns widely before she runs to me and gives me a hug around the neck.

"Hibi-chan! You look so sexy!" she laughs. I roll my eyes at her.

"You _always _think I look sexy." I inform her.

"Because you do~." she winks. "Besides, I want to hear about last night's sexiness."

I feel my face turning red and she must see it because her eyes light up.

"Did you have sex? You _totally _had sex. I can see it in your face! Was it good? Are you pregnant?"

"...No...No I didn't. My face shows that? I-It wasn't good because it didn't happen... I CAN'T GET PREGNANT!" I reply to all her outlandish questions.

"I know. It'd be so cool if you could. You and Delic would have like, supermodel babies." she tells me as we make our way down the street.

"...Supermodel babies?"

"Mm-Hmm! They'd crawl into a room and people would start foaming at the mouth to take pictures of them. They'd be like, 'Oooh, I _must _take random pictures of this baby!', and your poor children would never have a moment's peace."

"Started drinking early today, Erika?" I ask.

"Hey, fuck you! I'm just happy to be off today~!" she laughs, knocking my arm playfully. "I have to go in tonight though."

"I'm walking there with you. I want to be there when Delic gets off."

"I bet you do. I bet you want to be under him when he _gets off_." she smiles.

"...That'd make it hard to walk back home." I say as she bursts out laughing at me. I don't see what's funny. I can't support Delic's weight.

We spend the remainder of the morning window shopping. Erika has a huge amount of cash in her purse. We both know what it's from, but neither of us mention it. I hate thinking about the kind of people she must meet as a drug dealer. She knows this, so we just never talk about it anymore. She tries on almost every article of clothing in a dress shop before she's ready to go.

"Are you _sure _you don't want a sexy outfit?" she asks me as she pays for the new dress she picked out.

"I don't need to owe you more money." I say.

"It's no problem though! I'd love to play dress up with you! Can I please pick you out something? Pleeeease?"

"...Something cheap." I negotiate.

She twirls around happily and drags me out of the shop and into another. The man behind the counter looks up at us as we enter, but goes back to reading his book.

"This!" Erika says as she holds up a sleeveless shirt. It's white with golden trim and the back is...missing.

"That's a woman's shirt." I say dryly.

"So? You're small enough to pull it off. Plus, I told you, the more skin, the better!" she argues.

"...I really don't think-"

"Okay, just try it on? If it looks bad, we'll pick out something else."

I glare at her, before I swipe it and go to a dressing room to appease her. I pull off my long sleeve shirt, and pull on this article of clothing that's _supposed _to be a shirt. Poor thing must have forgotten that it's actually supposed to cover skin.

It fits me in a weird way. It exposes my collar bone, and the back dips down low to expose my skin. It's long in the front, but tightens by a string of elastic around my waist. It makes me look tiny. Of course, I feel naked in it.

"Come out! I wanna see!" Erika's voice says from outside my stall.

I sigh and open the door. Her jaw drops.

"We're buying that." she says as she drags me to the front.

"Hey! I have to take it off first!" I whine as I fight her hold.

"Hello, we're buying this." she tells the man up front. He looks up from his book and _stares _at me. I mean not even in a subtle way. He's just gawking at me. He blinks and shakes his head as he gets his price gun and scans the tag sticking out the back of the shirt. His hands linger on my exposed skin.

"See? I told you it looks good on you!" Erika smirks as the man's face reddens. He's a young guy, probably in college or something. He's not bad looking, but I'm not interested.

He's not Delic.

He gives her the price, and he keeps flicking his eyes over to look at me. Erika hands him the cash, and he shuffles around behind the counter before he hands her the receipt.

"I need you to pull the tags off." I sigh to her. If I'm wearing it outside the store, I demand to have it tagless. She rips them off and hands them to the man.

"Could you be a _doll _and throw these away? Hibi-chan over here would _greatly _appreciate it." she purrs. His face reddens, and he tosses them for us. We leave the store, and Erika laughs because she says he's craning his neck to watch us go.

When it's almost 11, we head back over to the coffee shop.

"So, what 'guys' are we meeting?" she asks me.

"Some guys I met last night at the bar. They told me there's stuff all over the internet about my family."

"Internet? Why would you be-"

"My last name is Orihara." I tell her.

"_Hibiya Orihara?_ Oh, how did I not notice this before? Your dad is that famous architect!"

"Indeed."

"Oh, wow. He's the prick that's made your life a living Hell?"

"The very same."

"Yeah, you will be all over the internet then." she grins.

"But why?"

"People love to creep on celebrities. I can't explain why. It's like they love watching other people's drama to make them feel better about their own." she shrugs.

"But how would they _know_? I mean, my parents are fairly private people..." I say.

"It just happens. They have ways. I've seen your dad all over the news since he's opened all those hotels on the west coast."

"West coast? I never knew my father had an interest in building there."

"Sounds to me like you never cared to know." she laughs.

"Heh... Yeah, you're right."

When we arrive at the coffee shop, Masaomi and Mikado are standing outside the closed doors. They have a laptop with them.

"Oi, Hibiya! Over here!" the blonde says loudly.

"Wow, Hibi-chan, you're getting popular." Erika grins.

"Hibi-chan? I'm stealing that." Masaomi grins.

Shit.

Can't anyone call me Hibiya? Is that too much to ask?

We walk into a little restaurant on the corner. They're not very busy, but they have free Wi-Fi, so we use that to access the internet.

"I have it on the website for you." Mikado says nicely. He turns the screen to face me as Erika and I sit opposite them. There are headlines all over the webpage.

_**West Coast Monopolized?**_

_**Orihara Curse?**_

_**Forgotten Son.**_

I frown and click on 'Forgotten Son' first. It's an entire article about how I disappeared. How do they know this stuff? Some of what it says is a little disturbing.

_The parents of young Hibiya Orihara deny that anything happened to their son. They maintain that they know where he is, and he's fine. Furthermore..._

"They do _not _know where I am! What liars!" I hiss as I return to the other page.

"Ah, they seem to lie a lot." Masaomi tell me. "According to these websites, your sister doesn't exist."

I stare at him in shock.

"What?"

"Well, we've skimmed through these articles all night. They mention you tons of times, but never your sister. Your parents never even mention they have a daughter."

I frown as I skim the page further. I realize they're right.

"But... Why would they do that?" I ask.

"No clue. Maybe...something happened to her?" Mikado says quietly. My blood freezes.

"No... Not to Mairu..."

"Mairu's a pretty name..." Erika tells me as she puts a hand on my shoulder.

"I... I don't know what could've happened..."

"Relax." Masaomi says happily. "Stuff like this happens all the time in celebrity households. They just want her out of the limelight. If I were you, I'd be jealous that she gets so privacy while your name is plastered all over the internet."

I sigh and run my hand through my hair.

"Do you really think that's it?"

"Well, if it was death or something, these vultures would be all over it." the blonde shrugs, motioning to the laptop screen. "You could always get in touch with them."

"...I could." I agree.

"Hibi-chan, no! You're terrified of them finding you! There has to be another way." Erika says.

"I guess... I could try to get in touch with Mairu. I just don't see how I could contact her without my parents knowing."

"Hire a private investigator?" Masaomi grins.

"With what money?" I laugh.

"Well... I could try to track her for you." Mikado suggests sheepishly. I look at him in alarm.

"Eh?"

"Well... I'm pretty computer savvy. I could probably find her. If she's alive, there's bound to be a record of her somewhere." he says.

"You really think that's possible? Isn't that...illegal?" I ask dumbly. They all laugh at me.

"Only if we get caught." Masaomi purrs as he throws an arm around Mikado. "I'm helping you, by the way." he adds to the raven.

"Of course you are." Mikado grins.

I feel a little better in spite of myself. I'm able to join in with their laughter and jokes throughout the remainder of our stay. All we order is drinks. I have water, so it's free. I can't _wait _until I get paid. Finally, we get up to leave.

We walk around the city and go into various places. Masaomi seems to make a scene anywhere we go. My favorite was the toy store.

"You call this life-like? That dinosaur is so fake that if an asteroid came at it, the asteroid would turn around and say, 'Fuck that!'" he yelled as he observed the supposed realistic dinosaur toy. We were asked to leave the store.

Masaomi called them Nazi bastards as we were 'escorted' out. I thought it was funny.

Erika looks at her watch and sighs as we exit the final store for the day.

"I need to go to Sal's." she says.

"Ah, is it already almost 5?" I ask in surprise. Today went by so fast!

"You guys both leaving?" Masaomi asks with his hands behind his head.

"Yeah. I'm going to work, and he's going to meet Delic." Erika says wistfully. I feel bad for her because I know she hates her job.

"Alright then. Bye Hibi-chan!" Masaomi says happily as he throws one arm around me. "See you later~!"

"...Bye." I huff at him.

"I'll get to work right away." Mikado says from behind his lover. "I'll come see you if I find anything."

"Thanks. I mean it." I tell him as he shakes my hand awkwardly.

They walk away from us as we turn to go the other way.

"Don't tell Delic about anything we talked about today." I say to her as we walk.

"Why?"

"I don't want him worrying. Especially if what they're doing is illegal. He'd flip out on me." I sigh. She laughs.

"Yeah, he would! Delic is crazy protective of you!"

"Yeah... It's nice though. I like that he's so concerned."

"Hibi-chan, can I ask you something?"

"You just did, but you can ask me something else." I grin.

"Are you in love with Delic?"

"..."

I try to gather my thoughts as we walk. I feel her eyes on me, but I can't voice anything. I need to tell her 'no'. I need to tell her that I'm ruined, and am not capable of love. I need to tell her the same things I tell myself every day. Instead, I just shrug. She grins at me.

"Thought so." she says.

We walk in silence the rest of the way to Sal's Bar. Oddly enough, I've never once seen this 'Sal' fellow. Delic told me he likes to sit in his office and do nothing. I kind of don't want to ever meet him, because he had sex with Delic.

I don't want to meet anyone who's had sex with him and isn't me.

A sudden thought hits me as we enter the bar.

"Erika... Before I got here...when Delic was bad...what was he like?" I ask uncertainly. I just realized I know absolutely _nothing _of his past.

"Ah. He was...wild. That's a good way to put it. He would have sex with anyone that wanted him. He and Kadota had sex once. Did you know that?" she asks.

"...No..."

"Well, they did. They're both pretty bad when it comes to promiscuity. The only difference is, Kadota never got better."

"What made Delic change? Why did he stop doing all those things?" I ask her. She shakes her head and points at Delic, who's just seen us. He rushes over from behind the bar.

"Chibiya? Why are you here? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. I just got lonely. Erika's been with me all day." I tell him as his arms wrap around me.

"New shirt?" he grins.

"You have Erika to blame for this monstrosity." I sigh. "My shirt is in that bag."

We put my shirt in the bag instead of the new one. I've been wearing it all day. Erika grins and shows him the folded up shirt in the bag, when a piece of paper falls out.

"What's that?" I ask as Erika picks it up. She bursts into laughter.

"No way!" she shrieks, thrusting the paper at me. It's the man's phone number from the store.

"Oh, wow." I say. I never saw him put it in there. Delic reads it over my shoulder.

"Another admirer?" he growls.

"Seems so." I say, crumpling up the paper. "Too bad for him. I'm taken."

Delic smiles widely at me before he kisses me.

"You're all mine, huh?" he says against my lips.

"Yes. You're stuck with me."

"Good."

Erika smiles at us before she goes into the office in the back and tells Sal she's there. She comes back out with a grin on her face.

"You're free to go, Delic. He says we're too dead for you to stay here if I'm here. We don't need two bartenders."

The blonde holds me tighter and lifts me up a little so he can turn to face her.

"Awesome!" he says happily as he swings me around. I feel like a ragdoll.

"Yup. I'll see you both later. Also, Hibi-chan, call me if you get any info..." she says to me.

"Info on what?" Delic asks.

"None of your business, nosy!" she smirks, flicking his forehead. He huffs at her and then levels his gaze on me.

"Info on what?" he asks me this time.

"Conjugation. Erika has another test." I lie. He quirks a brow.

"That sucks." he tells her.

"Yup. Now, go home!" she says as she shoves him toward the door. I'm shoved too because he's still holding me.

We walk outside and make our way back to the apartment. His hand is wrapped around mine.

"So, we have all night to ourselves~." he purrs as he swings our hands in the air. "What do you want to do?"

"I want...you to tell me more about yourself." I say. He turns to look at me with a frown on his face.

"...That's no fun."

I lean into him and grasp his hand tighter.

"If you tell me what I want to know... I may reward you~."

His eyes darken with lust as he looks at me.

"I'll hold you to that." he growls.

I realize, I'm fine with that.

* * *

_Sachi: So, um...cliffhanger?_

_ Hibiya: Once again, you're showing your imbecile side._

_ Sachi: ...You're being a bitch._

_ Delic: *sigh* Easy, children. Honestly, I don't see why you argue so much._

_ Hibiya: Anyone who loves Izaya is unworthy of my kindness!_

_ Sachi: Izaya isn't even here! *sobs*_

_ Izaya: *generates from thin air and is glomped*_

_ Delic: Eh...Review? We're still calling it that even though the website wants is to call it 'comment' because we're HARDCORE!_


	17. Chapter 17

_Another quick update~! In case you're curious as to WHY I'm updating so much, there are 2 reasons. 1. Is because I'm off today and had ideas in my head. 2. Is because I love you all and I'm nice. (shut up, I am TOO nice!) Also, I've noticed the website is deleting fics that "go against the rules", but I don't know what else rated M is supposed to mean. *sigh* If I'm deleted, I ask you all to remember my name! I'll find a way to post my craziness, even if I have to write a fucking book with OC's to do it! But, I doubt I'll be deleted. It's just in case though. Anywho, I have work the rest of the week, so I won't be updating again until next week probably. Now, on to the love! __KarkadeVantas__, you're Izaya? Then I love you! I have a new wallpaper on my phone of Izaya, so he stares at me every time I unlock my phone. It makes me shiver with happiness! Also, last night I killed a roach too! I HATE bugs! It's Toki's job to kill them, but recently he just slaps them around and makes me do it. Lazy kitty. __LimeCrayons__, rainbows and glitter, eh? Haha, I'm glad you like it! Plus, it's awesome to be obsessed. I'm obsessed with your reviews! So there. I know it's odd without the alts, but I think it's flowing nicely. Draaaaaw it! If you can see it perfectly, draw it and let me see! __BlueRoseDream__, I know Hibi-chan is so cute being dedicated to Delic. Also, __**WILL **__Kururi be in the story? I'm not telling~! Muahahahaha! __Paranormal Alchemist__, yay to the past revealed! __Braverly-Homunculus__, DelHibi does need its own moment in the spotlight. And what will the rewards be? Hehe. __Rai Rai Blue__, you liked my mad escape attempt at work? Haha, I hate when I get so bored... I'm always struck with indecision. Do I stay and earn a few more bucks, or leave and be free? I suppose I DO need to stay though. I only made one airplane, but I threw it multiple times. It went really far! Can't wait for your next review. *squeals* __aurorage__, Hibi-chan is getting more and more sexy~. I'm glad you love my cliffhangers! You masochist, you. __darkestlight96__, Hibi-chan and Erika are really funny together. __Anon 1__, you think Hibi-chan plays Delic like a flute? Which part? Hehehehe. __Anon 2__, you love my smut scenes? That makes me so happy, because I always feel like I'm awkward when I write them. Anywho, on with the story! _

* * *

_Answers_

When we get inside, Delic flops on the couch. I laugh at him because he's shoving his face in the cushions like a child.

"Does this whole concept make you _that _uncomfortable?" I ask.

"I don't want to tell you all this stuff." he pouts. I can't see his face, but I can hear the childishness. I sit beside him.

"Remember the rewards." I say. He lifts his face to look at me.

"About those... Promise me, nothing too drastic."

"I know, I know. I'm not ready for too much yet." I sigh as I crawl closer to him.

"Good." he says as his arms snake around me. "Now, what do you want to know?"

"Tell me...about your parents."

He sighs and pulls me into his lap as his head nuzzles into my neck.

"Dad was a drunk. Mom was religious. Seems like all you need to know." he says.

"No sir. I need more than that."

"...Fine. Dad used to beat her around a lot. When he got bored, he'd beat me." he huffs.

"Delic." I say.

"...He...hit me most of my life, alright? Mom just took it. She always took it... Something about how the family is supposed to be subservient to the man of the house. Her fucking Bible talk." he spits. "I _hated _them. I still...hate them..."

I crawl out of his lap and move to sit behind him, making him face the wall.

"What are you doing?" he asks in an amused voice.

"Rewarding you." I smile. I place my hands on his shoulders, and start to massage him roughly. He has tons of knots, so I have to work them out.

"Ahhhh...Chibiya..." he purrs as his head rolls to the side. I keep going and wrap my legs around his waist from behind him, so my ankles are touching his stomach.

"Keep going~." I whisper as my mouth goes dry from the noises he's making.

"So I started to, _nnnnn_, started to act out...to make them give me, ahhhh, attention..." he groans as my fingers knead his shoulders.

"Must have been hard." I say into his ear. He moans and turns his head to kiss my jaw.

"You have...no clue...how _hard..._" he says.

"Ah, ah, ah. I need more info." I tell him as I pull back a little. He whines.

"I hung out with some of the wrong people... They got me into drugs. After I got addicted to painkillers, I started looking for more stuff to get a thrill off of, since the painkillers made me feel depressed."

"So that's when you started having sex." I assume.

"Yep. It gave me a...rush I guess. It made me feel important to people. I was good at it, you know? I had never been good at anything before."

"What made them...finally disown you?" I ask as I run my hands under his shirt, digging into his skin.

"Ahhh, fuck, Chibiya..." he groans at my ministrations. "Word got around town. My mother tried to give me an exorcism... Dad punched me. I was 18 at the time, so I just left. Took a bus here, whored around, and rented this place eventually."

"Erika told me you had sex with Kadota." I say as my lips return to his ear.

"N-No I didn't. He's still telling people that? He gave me a hand job, that's it. I met him at a nympho meeting. We formed a band with his roommate, Saburo. Since then, we've been friends." he tells me truthfully.

"Delic... What made you change? Why are you doing so well now?" My hands roam to the front of his shirt, and I start to massage his nipples.

"I... I wanted to...change... I was tired of...ahhh, of making people disappointed in me..." His voice is breathy as his lips attach themselves to my neck.

"Delic... I'm proud of you..." I sigh blissfully. His hands are rubbing my legs. "You've never disappointed me..."

"Heh. You're the first. I don't like to...talk about this stuff..."

"It's fine. If you can still want me when my father stuck his hands in my pants every night, I can handle your addictions." I inform him. He tenses in my hold.

"Of course I want you. You're... I mean I just... You're perfect to me, Chibiya."

"The feeling is mutual." I pinch one of his nipples and listen to the wonderful hissing noise he makes.

It's weird. I've never done anything like this before, but I know where to touch him. Maybe it's instinct?

"How did you kick the painkillers?" I ask him. He cracks an eye open and there's cloudy magenta staring at me hungrily.

"Weeks of work. Sadly, it was easier to get rid of that than my alcohol problems. I guess it runs in my family." he sighs as he unwraps me from him. I raise a brow.

"We have that in common. I had quite the drinking problem in high school."

"Really? I had no idea." he says sarcastically as he turns to push me into the cushions. I huff at him.

"I'm the one rewarding you! You can't just shove me down and force yourself on me!"

"Heh. You've been teasing me since we got home. It's my turn." he purrs. His hands trail up my shirt and bunch in the fabric. "I owe Erika one for buying this for you."

"...You like it?"

"I love it. You look sexy as hell in it." he says as he lowers his mouth to lick my nipple.

"Ahhhhh!" I moan. He's holding me down.

"Mmmm, your voice... It's so wonderful..." he groans as he runs his teeth along where he just licked. His tongue swirls around the area.

"Delic! Hahhh, s-stop!"

"No way. You like it too much for me to stop."

I decide that two can play this game. I grasp at his back and dig my nails in.

"Nnnn... Keep doing that..." he purrs. "Also...be careful with Erika, alright? I trust her to an extent, but I met her in my wild stage. She's still pretty bad about stuff. I worry when you're...with her..." his voice ends in a moan as I scratch him harder.

"Erika is fine. Don't worry about me." I say as I abruptly sit up and shove him off of me. I crawl on top of him and he looks at me questioningly. I shove his legs apart, and settle between them. He nearly yells when I grind against him.

"Fuck! C-Chibiya..." he groans as he tries to make me repeat it.

"You said Kadota gave you a hand job?" I ask. "Did you come?"

"Wha-? Yeah, why?"

I growl and un-do his pants. I don't know why, but I'm jealous. I reach inside and grasp his member. The reaction I receive is delicious.

"Ahhhh, so...so good..." he says as he thrusts more into my hand. It's the first time I've ever held someone else's manhood. I feel like I'm doing pretty well though, based on his voice.

Experimentally, I pump him a few times. He bucks up faster and faster, making me pick up pace. It's...really hot in here...

"You're hard too..." he says as he grins up at me.

"It's fine." I inform him as I move faster. He hisses, and slaps my hand away. He sits up and settles directly in front of me. "I'll show you what to do."

"What are you-?"

He unbuttons my pants and pulls them down, as well as my boxers. I quirk a brow at him, but he just grins wider. Then, his hand grabs me, and he pumps hard, his hand running all the way down to his own erection.

He just pumped us both at the same time. Sweet mother of God.

"Hahhhhhh~!" I groan, letting my head fall against his shoulder. This sensation of our members touching and his hand on both of us; it's too much. It's _incredible_.

"See?" he moans in my ear. "I told you... I'm good at this..."

"You're so...amazing...Delic..." My hands settle on his shoulders, and my hips buck unconsciously into his hand. He purrs louder, using his free hand to force my face upwards. His lips slam against mine, and I open my mouth instantly for his tongue.

We swallow the moans as his hand goes faster. He bites my lip when I start to tremble from the orgasm that's slowly coming over me.

"Chibiya... Come for me..." he growls, nibbling on my tongue. Is that what they call 'dirty talk'? Because it seriously sent all the blood into my groin.

"Delic! Hmmmmm~!" I do as he said, and come in his hand. He follows me immediately after. He flops against me, and I can feel how unsanitary this is based on how he's sticking to me.

I find that I don't care.

"Now _that_..." he huffs, "Was a great reward..."

"Agreed..." I sniffle, and his hands rise to wipe my tears away that he already knew were going to be there. He kisses along my neck.

"I can't wait...until I can pleasure you without you crying..." he whispers.

"I can't either..." I whimper, holding him around the neck. "I can't wait for you to be inside me..."

He shivers at this, and captures my lips again.

I let him ravish me, and I kiss him until my tears stop. I realize now why I can have him touch me like this without causing me to break down.

I love him. I'm _in _love with Delic.

And even if I'm too ruined for his love, I can still allow myself to love him.

It's not like I have a choice.

* * *

_Sachi: Toki is asleep beside me. Have you ever heard a cat snore? It's hilarious!_

_ Hibiya: So...where is this story going? I feel we have no direction._

_ Sachi: Right now, it's explaining their dependence on each other. The angst will start soon, so let's enjoy these fluffy chapters!_

_ Delic: I uh... I'm getting laid, right?_

_ Sachi: ...Reviews will answer the question faster~!_

_ Delic and Hibiya: Fuck!_


	18. Chapter 18

_HAPPY (belated) INDEPENDANCE DAY TO ALL AMERICANS~! Haha, we went and saw fireworks with my niece. It took me almost 5 minutes to convince her they were far enough away to not burn her. It was my redeeming factor, since I spent all night messing with her. (She's 4, and she's great to argue with. So, naturally, I do it on purpose for fun.) My sister chastised me for telling her there were giant squids under the ground that would tentacle slap her if she was bad. I thought it was a good tactic... Also, Toki and I played an epic game of tag today, so I've had an excellent holiday~! I'm glad I got off work early again. Anyway, I keep getting more and more reviews for each chapter! You guys are seriously spoiling me! I HUFFIN' LOVE IT! This is by far the most popular thing I've written. Now, for your love for being so amazingly kind! __KarkadeVantas__, our cats sound like they should get together and go bowling. Haha, your friends are suspicious of your yaoi love? I was lucky in high school. My friends were all as obsessed as me. The ones that weren't, had to put up with my babbling anyway. I'm glad you love my story! __Paranormal Alchemist__, AWWWW, thank you! If they remove my stories, I'm probably cancelling my account. Meanies. __LimeCrayons__, he does have a bit of PTSD, ne? I hope you're happy with my update! __incidentalmusic__, haha, see? The teasing was worth it! __Anon 1__, I thought the rewards were good too. Poor Delic...he does want to get laid. __aurorage__, you can't wait for my angst? That's good! Once it starts, it will be steady. I'd LOVE to actually be a therapist. Oddly, I'm switching that to my major, haha. (Minor will be English, so I can still write.) Toki is a large black cat, with white paws, and a white kitty mustache. He loves to nip my appendages, and hit me with his tail. It's all worth it though, when he falls asleep on me and holds my hand with his paw. He's my favorite kitty friend! __BlueRoseDream__, I believe every story needs certain levels of smut, if it's the same context as this one. Haha, I find it keeps the fangirls interested. __Logic Dive__, I'm proud to update fast! I'm glad you like my quick updates! __Rai Rai Blue__, Quasimodo? BAHAHAHAHAH! That's so huffin' funny! Poor thing. Ah, yes, there's SO MUCH MORE , angst to come. Like, I have it all planned out, and...you guys are going to hate me by the end of this story. WHAT do I mean? You'll see! Like I said, I have a plan. Just bear with me, and you will be rewarded. As for my stories getting deleted, Fanfiction. net has been deleting fictions with smut in them. They say it violates the rules. So, fingers crossed! This story will SO be deleted if I'm caught. I doubt they'll look hard enough to delete all of them though. __Anon 2__, a theme song for this story that I've been quite fond of is "The Promise" by "In This Moment." __Quiet. Crash__, Hibi-chan is getting hotter in every chapter! Why? Because he's getting bolder~! __Burning- Petals__, I DO have a cat named Toki! There's no relation to Izaya or Shizuo. In this story, Izaya and Shizuo don't exist. It's strictly a DelHibi. I'm using the last names 'Heiwajima' and 'Orihara' because they're alternates of those two, and it saves me from having to make up original last names. Haha, I don't want to bother with that. So, I'm shutting up now! ON WITH MAH STORRRRRYYYYYYY~!_

* * *

_Reasons_

Hibiya sat in his dorm, facing the wall. Three years. Three years he had been staring at these same walls. Three years waiting for something to happen to make him want to live. He was tired of it.

Pretending to care, pretending to laugh. It hurt. It always hurt. He was tired of having to get drunk just to give a fuck. He was tired...of living.

What was the point anymore? He didn't have friends. He hadn't seen his family members since they last saw him on Christmas, 2 years ago. He hadn't seen Mairu since he was kicked out.

He was 18 years old now. He was old enough to know it was never going to get any better unless he tried. He knew he had to get the hell out of this place, or he would die. This lifestyle, these people, this _place_. It was hell. It was killing him.

Deciding on a course of action, and still being severely tipsy, he stood from his bed and took his switch blade from his duffel bag. Seiji awoke with a start.

"...biya?"

"Go to sleep." the raven slurred, continuing to eye the glint of the blade in the lamp light from his bedside table. Seiji sat up and looked at him wearily.

"What the hell, man? What are you doing?" the brunette snarled, swinging his feet over the edge to help the smaller man.

Over their years as roommates, they had developed a strange dynamic. Seiji always knew how to treat him when he was drunk, which was almost every night. He always treated him like he was...fragile. A priceless egg about to break.

The worst part? He was right.

Hibiya was breaking.

He was already broken.

He was _ruined_.

"Dude!" Seiji cried again, fighting the knife out of the Orihara's hands. He knew Hibiya was too drunk to be aware of what he was doing.

"I'm leaving... Let go..."

"Leaving? Where?"

"Just...away... I have to get out of here..."

Seiji looked at him incredulously.

"...Suicide? That's fucking mental! You can't do that to yourself!"

"Don't you _see?_ There's nothing for me here! I can't... I can't breathe... I'm going crazy!" Hibiya hissed, pounding his fists uselessly against the stronger male's chest. Seiji allowed it, still looking at him like he thought he was on the verge of a mental breakdown.

"Hibiya... You have so much more to look forward to after you graduate... I can't let you do this, man."

"Why do you care?"

"I'm your friend."

Hibiya's golden eyes widened as he looked at the set face of the Yagiri. _Friends?_ No. No way. NO. NO. NO!

"Don't you lie to me! You insolent cur! We are forced to be together because we are roommates! That is the only reason! You expect me to believe that you would associate with me if that wasn't the case? You only look at me as a hindrance to your time in Mika's pants!" he screamed, not even knowing why he was saying these things.

The word 'friend'... It hurt. Family hurt. School hurt. Life hurt.

Seiji looked at him flabbergasted. He had _never _heard the male raise his voice so much. Nevertheless, he was pissed.

"After all this goddamn time, you still think that way of me? Well, FUCK you! Would I have chosen you as a roommate to begin with? No. I'm not lying, so I'll tell you no. After the first year, they always asked if we wanted to change roommates, and I never did! It's not as if you even paid attention to the damn form anyway! You don't care about _anything!_" His arms pushed the raven away from him, against the wall.

"Why should I? It's not as if anyone cares for me!" Hibiya bit back, falling against the wall. He didn't want to fight anymore. He just...wanted peace...

"Because of _that_! You just give up! You always give up! Things get hard, and you run! You flee like it's going to hurt you! And you know what? Maybe it will hurt you, but sometimes that's necessary! Stop being so scared all the time!" Seiji snarled.

"I HAVE A REASON TO BE SCARED!"

"THEN GET THE FUCK OVER IT!"

They glowered at each other in silence, each breathing heavily. Hibiya's eyes filled with tears, and he collapsed into himself.

"I just... I can't anymore, Seiji... This place... I have to... I have to go..." he whimpered miserably.

"Do you know why you don't have friends?"

"..."

"You don't want any, Hibiya. You never have. Everyone we hang around with, they all adore you. You're so easy to get along with, because you don't care. You never care. You're just a doll that dances on its strings." Seiji hissed, clenching his fists. Hibiya looked up at him fearfully.

"A...puppet?" he inquired.

"A fucking puppet. You're afraid of everything. Well you know what? Life takes chances. It takes risks! And you... Hibiya, I'm so sorry but... You're just... You're dead already, man."

Hibiya released a loud sob, letting it tear through him. He was dead...

He was always dead...

Seiji took the knife, and placed it on his table, away from the Orihara. He leveled his gaze on the broken raven.

"I'm sorry. You just needed to know. Risks are fine. It's alright to be afraid. It's fine. Just... Stop being so sad all the time... You have everything in the world ahead of you. There's no reason...to be so unhappy." he said as he returned to his bed.

Hibiya held himself together by wrapping his arms around his knees, still whimpering slightly. He knew, as hurtful as it was to hear, that it was right.

He was dead. He had stopped trying to live when he was sent here. It was just... It was easier for him to turn into a zombie than to try and find a reason to live.

Seiji's breathing leveled, and Hibiya knew he was asleep. He crawled to the table on the other side of the room, and took his knife. He traced it over his wrist, ghosting the flesh, bit not pressing down. His gaze filled with tears again.

It would be so easy... He could do it right now...

He could end it...

He could truly die...

He threw the knife in his duffel bag, and stood angrily to start throwing the rest of his things into the bag as well. Everything that would fit was tossed in the large duffel, and zipped quickly.

He was tired of being dead. He was tired of being so downtrodden.

If there was more to life than this, he would find it. If it took years, he would find it.

There had to be _something_.

He called a cab and put the bill on his parent's tab. He was going to his grandparent's house. He was dropping out. He was leaving the life that made him so depressed.

As he left his room for the final time, he sent a quick glance to his roommate, still rolled over on his side. He thought the man was asleep, until his arm raised and waved slightly, signaling a farewell.

Hibiya left with a smile, and tearstains on his face.

* * *

It's funny how time can pass by. Two weeks have passed since Delic and I had our first date. I wish I could tell you things have been wonderful, and that we've had sex, but sadly, that's not the case.

I've barely seen the blonde. I work all day, and he works all night. The only time I really see him is when he crawls into bed around sunrise, when I'm about to have to get up. His band hasn't had a gig, because of the crazy hours he's been working.

Delic is killing himself.

The good news is, I got paid this week. My first paycheck! I was so excited to receive my meager restitution. I paid half of the rent, despite Delic's protests, and I bought a phone.

It's not too fancy, but it does what I need it to. Mikado has been in constant touch.

He managed to find a record of my sister attending middle school near our old mansion, but she left quickly. The trail dried up there. He's still looking, and I'm still hoping.

But even hope dwindles over a length of time.

I sigh as our lunch rush ends. Deborah is beside me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Hibiya, I must say, I'm so glad I hired you." she says happily. I quirk a brow.

"Is that so?"

"Yes! You've managed to become quite the model employee. You're never late, you never complain, and you do a great job! I'm glad I took a chance on you." she smiles.

"I'm glad you did too. I owe you a great debt." I tell her sincerely. Not many people would hire someone with no last name and no experience.

"Nonsense. Your debt is paid in full by how you run this place by yourself half the time."

"I'm just trying to lighten your load." I laugh.

"Well, it's working! I feel great having you here! I can actually relax!"

We laugh together, enjoying our peace. It's going to be slow now. She tells me I can leave early if I choose, but I decline. Even if I leave now, I'll just get home to a sleeping Delic. I don't want to wake him up.

When I get off at 4, he'll still be snoozing, but it'll almost be time to wake him up anyway. He goes in at 6 these days, and works until 3 in the morning.

I blink as I feel my phone vibrate.

_[I want to go out tonight. You in?]_

It's from Erika. I'm a little sad about our friendship too. She's been swamped with schoolwork, since it's almost finals. I haven't seen her in a good week.

_[Where did you have in mind?] _I type quickly while Deborah's not looking at me.

_[I don't care. I just want to drink.]_

Uh-Oh. That can't be good.

"Um, Deborah?"

"Yes, dear?"

"If that offer to leave a little early still stands, I think I'll take it."

I rush down the street to Erika's apartment. It's a little ways from the shop. I know where it is now because Kadota pointed it out to me last time I hitched a ride home with him and Saburo. I've seen them more than I've seen anyone these past 2 weeks.

I knock on her door, and when she opens it, I'm shocked.

She looks awful. There are bags under her eyes, and her hair is sticking up.

"Hibi-chan?" she asks, letting me in. Her apartment floor is littered with beer bottles and sheets of paper.

"I took off a little early. What happened?" I ask her quickly.

"Finals are kicking my ass. I totally failed my math one today." she sighs. Her voice breaks toward the end of it.

"I'm sorry..."

"Nah, it's fine. Just more proof that I'm not the college type." she says bitterly. I've never seen her so sad before.

"Sure you are. If you're having trouble, I can-"

"You can what? It's not like you can stand beside me and give me the answers on tests. Thanks, but no thanks. I can manage."

I sigh heavily, because I know what stage she's in. She's in the "I don't give a fuck by this point" stage. I've been there.

"Listen, I came over because I _can't _go out tonight. I have to do laundry." I say. She raises a brow.

"Laundry? Such a little housewife, Hibi-chan." she grins.

"No! I just don't ever have any time to do it on my off day, since the Laundromat is closed on Sundays." I tell her.

Delic's building is nice enough, but it lacks a laundry room. It drives me crazy, but he said it makes the rent cheaper to go without luxuries.

"That's cool. I guess I need to study..."

I look at her sadly, and run my hand through my hair.

"...Just come with me. We can get it done now, and I can help you study." I say.

"No! I don't want help!" she hisses.

"Too bad. You're getting it."

She pouts, stomping her foot on the rug. I wonder to myself how much she's already drank today.

"Fine."

I wait for her to get dressed, and we go to Delic's building. I walk in quietly, instructing Erika to wait outside so we make less noise. I have to get our clothes from the hamper.

He's flopped on the mattress, his head under a pillow. I can see his blonde hair sticking out from under it. I laugh quietly and tip-toe past him, getting our hamper. He groans and turns, cracking an eye open to look at me.

"Nooo... I don't wanna get up yet..." he whimpers. He thinks if I'm home, it means he's about to have to go to work.

"Shhhh. Go back to sleep. I'm just doing the laundry." I tell him quietly. I make to go back outside, but he raises his lead to look at me more closely.

"C'mere..." he whines. I love when he's half asleep. He's so adorable like this.

I stand at the edge of the bed, looming over him. He looks up at me sleepily.

"I want a kiss..." he grumbles.

I laugh as I lean down to grant his request. He sighs happily when our lips meet.

"Miss...you..." he says as he deepens it. I groan at his probing muscle. I know it's been too long since we've had this... Our time late at night and early in the morning isn't enough.

"Delic..." I whimper as he pulls me down onto the mattress. His hands roam down my sides, and he hooks his fingers in my belt loops.

"I... I have laundry..."

"It can wait."

"N-No... Erika is out there...waiting..." I moan when his fingers dip inside my jeans, brushing against my exposed hips.

"Nnnnghhhhh." he grunts, kissing me harder. I relax into his grip and kiss him back. He lets me go, and flops against the pillows again.

"Ahaha, you were half asleep that whole time?" I ask in disbelief.

"Nnnnn?" he snorts, his eyes already closed. I laugh quietly, gathering my laundry as I meet Erika in the hall.

We actually have fun at the Laundromat. Erika likes to ride in the little carts, and I like to push her. She started to give the garments voices, and make them whores and cheaters. I laugh when she goes into this rant about an elderly woman's bloomers having an affair with a long haired gentleman's neck tie.

They stare at us like we're mad.

I tell her about how much I hated school when I was in it. She tells me I'm smart enough to go back and get my diploma.

I don't want the damn thing. I never did.

We fold up the heated clothes, fresh from the dryer, and walk to the elevator again.

"What are we studying tonight?" I ask her as we reach Delic's floor.

"Your favorite. Spanish."

"Ugh."

"Agreed."

Delic is in a new position when we enter the room. He's managed to position his legs on my side of the bed, and his head is hanging off his own side. Erika laughs quietly.

"He sleeps like a kid!" she giggles.

"He does. He's a blanket hog too." I inform her.

I signal for her to come to the kitchen with me, and we sit at the table. We're just across from Delic's sleeping form, but I closed the door. I hope he doesn't wake up again.

We're heavily buried under piles of notes by the time I have to wake Delic up. I have a red mark on my forehead from slamming it against the table so much. Erika's problem? She gets frustrated too easily, She gives up. It _infuriates _me, but I can't exactly punish her.

I'm the same way.

I grumble as I flop on top of Delic. His arms immediately snake around me.

"Chibiya..."

"Mmm-hmm."

"You smell good..."

"I made you something to eat too." I tell him. I made him a sandwich. We don't have much to cook, since we haven't been to the store.

"I'm starving..."

"Then come on." I laugh, tugging on his hair.

His lips find mine, and he starts to _devour _me. I mean literally devouring me. His mouth is so far on mine, I don't know where mine begins. It's not that I really mind though.

"D-Delic..." I purr, tugging his hair harder. "You have...work...and food..."

"You taste better." he says simply, ravishing my mouth more.

It's only gotten this bad because we never get to see each other anymore. Delic's hours are _insane._ Mine are set in stone, his are erratic. It makes me so mad...

"Why..._ahhhhh_, why are you...working so hard...?" I ask him breathlessly as his tongue licks all the way to my ear.

"Sal. He makes me."

"Why?"

"He's mad." Delic says against my ear.

"Why's he mad at you?"

"Because he offered to give me a vacation if I let him fuck me again, and I said no."

I feel various emotions at once. Pride that he would tell him no, rage that it was offered, regret that it's making him work so hard. I settle on rage.

"Delic!"

"Haha! Relax, Chibiya. I knew he was depraved when I took the job." he says, rolling over to the end of the bed. I watch him angrily as he gets dressed.

"But that's sexual harassment!"

"That's how it is sometimes."

I glare at my feet, and then the wall as he leaves the room. I hear him talking with Erika outside.

I try to think of ways I can help this situation, but I come up with nothing. I'm too small to hurt him, and I doubt reason would sway such a glutton.

Suddenly though... I don't want Delic going there alone tonight. I decide my plans for the night need to change. Erika and I can study at the bar.

I don't want to let someone hurt my reason to live.

* * *

_Sachi: Hehe. I love going into Hibi-chan's warped little past. _

_ Hibiya: My backstory is depressing._

_ Delic: I call soap opera!_

_ Sachi: Agreed! _

_ Delic: Still waiting to get laid over here._

_ Sachi: Good things to those who wait, my little nympho._

_ Hibiya: Indeed! Impatience is an awful flaw! I have amazing patience!_

_ Delic: ..._

_ Sachi: We're not addressing that lie. Anyway, review for love! I really worked hard to give you an early update!_


	19. Chapter 19

_Hello my awesome readers! We meet again on this lovely Saturday! I had such a traumatic experience this week! Toki ran away on Thursday. My sister left the door open, and Toki had never been outside before, so he just walked right out. I had a mental breakdown of sorts, haha. I've had him for 4 years, and I love him so much, I just kinda died a little when I thought he was gone. Then, it started pouring down rain here, so I was even more distraught at the idea of him being caught in such a downpour. I sat outside, in the rain, waiting for him. The good news? FOUND HIM! He was under the house, safe and sound. Poor thing was covered in dirt though, so his welcome home present? A bath. So, happy ending to my horrible Thursday! Now, for my love to all of you. (Seriously, the reviews you guys left were the only upside to my awful Thursday.) __Paranormal Alchemist__, haha, late night reading. I don't think 'sucking off' Sal's privates would hurt him, lol. __Rai Rai Blue__, I do spoil you! What kind of author never offers fanservice? A LAME one. Playing tag with Toki really just involves making him mad. Usually, I slap his tail and run, and he chases me. If I turn around and run at him, he runs away from me, until I turn around and run. We did this for about 10 minutes, until my niece walked in. (he's terrified of her because she's loud.) Patience is one thing I also lack. That's part of why I update so fast too~! __KarkadeVantas__, haha, I've had many adventures in the Laundromat too. I give many inanimate things voices. My friends think I'm crazy. One of the biggest things I do to annoy people though, way before I ever started watching Durarara!, is that I give them all new names if I don't like theirs. There's a guy at work named Tim, and I have dubbed him 'Timantha'. I just like it better. __Quiet. Crash__, I know it's adorable to see Hibi-chan angry over Delic! __jusqualafin__, I don't like Sal either. I love when reviewers ramble! I mean, come on, every chapter consists of my ramblings! I'm so glad you love it! __Anon 2__, I did look up the song. I thought it was cute. Never think you can't tell me if you have a theme song in mind for a story! I love to hear what you think goes well with it! (I did that in 'Fix You'. Every chapter had a theme song, lol.) If you get any more, let me know! __Maru de Kusanagi__, it's about to get way more depressing than this! __Guest__, I love you too! __wheezerteebs__, thank you so much! I love your username, by the way. __Marshmallows Rule The World__, hehe, I enjoy Izaya Whump! That includes any of his alternates too. It's going to get very rough on Hibi-chan before it's over. (Delic too.) I love you too! __Cael Luciano__, the nerve of Burger King when Denny's was promised! I'm so glad you like my DelHibi! Maybe you just like OOC Hibi-chan better? I know I do. __LimeCrayons__, you'll see what Hibi-chan has in store for Sal. I think you'll be pleased. But, an epic foot stomping does sound nice too. __BlueRoseDream__, I agree they need more time together. __Burning-Petals__, I can't make it full of happiness! I wish I could though, if that's any constellation. In any case, I will make this one happier than the last one. Besides, __**NOTHING **__about Hibi-chan's backstory is going to be happy. Poor thing has had it rough. Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing! We're nearing the 200 mark! So, on with the huffin' story~!_

* * *

_Mine_

Did you know the Orihara empire was not built on hard work?

Sure, it helped, but it wasn't built on that principle at all. No, it was built from something else entirely.

See, in every business, there is competition. There is always another that may rip the crown from the big business's head, and take it for themselves. That is in _every _line of work. Every line except one.

When it comes to architecture, the name 'Orihara' is the only name worth hearing. Not only in this country, but also in every country. It has been that way for generations of Orihara's.

But why?

Because Orihara's took what they wanted, by using sheer brilliance and dark tactics.

Every business that tried to take their crown, suddenly found themselves without a president.

Disappearances happened for years, until no one dared to challenge the Orihara name. Every member of the prestigious Orihara family had to learn these tactics if they were to be part of the great empire. They had to learn how to fight dirty, and how to destroy someone from the inside out.

It was as natural as breathing, and for many; it didn't faze them at all.

You see, once one has had a taste for power, they do all they can to keep tasting it.

Murder, lies, destruction, they all come with the territory.

Because to stay king, one must manage their subjects, lest the crown fall.

Orihara's could _never _let their crown fall, or someone would appear to destroy them.

Hibiya was always convinced that if anyone was to destroy him, it would be himself.

* * *

Delic is wary of me tonight. It's probably because of my expression. I'm livid.

He doesn't know why I burst into the living room, where he and Erika were having a conversation, to tell him I was going to work with him. He didn't understand why I looked ready to tear him apart if he said no. He _really _has no idea why I'm here, at the bar, with a switch blade in my back pocket.

What he doesn't know won't hurt him.

Erika is beside me right now. We have her Spanish book open, and we're going over conjugation, pronunciation, and feminine vs. male pronunciation. She doesn't seem to get that there is a difference. _'La' _and _'El' _matter. They matter immensely. She can't say something as simple as _'Yo soy loco'. _It wouldn't be correct. She has to use the feminine form, _'Yo soy loca'. _

As we're arguing over this, Delic takes his place behind the bar. He keeps an eye on me, because like I said, he's wary of me. I realize it's going to be hard to sneak away.

If I am to confront this 'Sal' fellow, I'll have to do it when Delic is too busy to notice. I'll have to slip away, and make it quick.

What is my plan? Well, if I knew, I'd tell you.

I'm acting purely on impulse tonight. I may get in trouble, I may not. From what Delic's told me, I may get raped. I have to do something though.

I look at Delic as he pours a woman a drink. He has circles under his eyes. It makes me even madder. He needs sleep.

He needs to sleep with _me. _

I grin slightly as a crowd comes in. I feel horrible for Delic, but this is my chance to escape his hawk eyes.

"I'm going to the bathroom." I inform Erika. She nods absently and continues writing the sentences I told her to write. If she's wrapped in that, she won't notice me gone longer than usual.

I slide away from the bar area, and head toward the back where I know the man's office is. I look over my shoulder cautiously. Delic is pouring drinks, and Erika is pouring over papers. Good. I adjust my cell phone and put it in my pocket. I don't want it ringing.

I find the office door, and open it without knocking. Why would I knock? I don't need his permission to enter. I am above this man.

Behind a desk, there is a large man with facial hair. I mean crazy facial hair. It's a mustache, beard combo. He has dark hair that's pulled into a ponytail behind his head. He's wearing very casual wear. I realize this will be too easy. He's most likely an idiot.

He looks up at me and a grin covers his face. I know that look. Delic wears it when he wants to fool around with me. It's gross when this man does it. He's looking at me like I'm made of ice cream.

"Can I help you?" he purrs. His voice is deep too. He might actually be attractive if he'd shave.

"Ah, yes. Are you Sal by chance?" I ask sweetly. If he thinks I'm interested in him, it'll move this process right along.

"I am. What do you need?"

I take initiative and move to the edge of his desk and sit down. I'm facing him, and my knees are touching his thighs. His eyes darken.

"I need a job. I heard you hire inexperienced people if they're willing to work." I say.

"I do. What job are you interested in?" he asks. He's leaning toward me so his legs push my knees more.

"I don't know. I just moved here and...I'm so _inexperienced._" I tell him, leaning forward playfully.

"Hmmm. What do you mean by inexperienced?" his hand trails up my leg.

"I mean I know you like to...negotiate hours with your employees based on what they can do for you."

"Ah, that's true."

"There's the problem. I've never...done anything like that before." I say, making my face look slightly depressed. He takes the bait.

"How could someone that looks like you be so...innocent?" he grins, standing to loom over me.

"I just never had time... I'm scared, but I really need a job." I whimper.

"I'll work with you. We can make sure to take it easy." he says, placing a hand against my face.

"You'd do that for me?" I whisper in his ear. "I won't be very good at sex..."

"I can teach you~." and his lips latch themselves to mine.

It's at this point that he shoves me back on the desk and straddles me, his hands roaming. He tires to deepen the kiss, but I don't let him.

I have all I need.

I place a gentle hand against his chest and push him a little, making him release me.

"Wait..." I mewl when his hands lower to my groin. I'm not even hard. Ha.

"What's wrong?"

It's at this point that I slide out from under him and walk toward the door, leaning against it. He raises a brow.

"You want it against the door?" he grins.

"I don't want it at all." I laugh, lifting my cell phone. He turns white when I play what I just recorded.

"Wha..."

"I'd say this qualifies as sexual harassment, wouldn't you?"

He moves to sit properly on the desk, facing me.

"What do you want from me?" he asks seriously.

"You're going to stop acting this way toward potential employees. The ones you have need time off."

"...They have time off."

"I mean Delic Heiwajima. I know for a fact he's worked every night for two weeks, and I know you gave him the offer of a vacation if he let you fuck him."

"...You're his lawyer?" he asks, immediately scared of a lawsuit. That's how business works.

"No. I will sue you if you continue this though. I can buy your whole bar as it is."

"What do you mean?"

"Does the name 'Orihara' mean anything to you~?"

His face turns whiter.

"Y-You're..."

"I am. I can inform my father of this, and you'll be one unfortunate man."

He places his face in his hands and sighs heavily. I know I've broken him.

It was as easy as breathing.

"I'm...sorry... Please don't ruin me... This bar is all I have." he pleads. I keep my face neutral and fold my arms.

"I have conditions." I smirk.

He nods, looking terrified.

"I want Delic to have 2 days off a week. I want his hours to be realistic, and not entirely morbid. I want more than one bartender on calls for your busy nights, such as these."

He winces, but nods again.

"A few more things." I say as he tries to go back to his chair.

"What?" he groans.

"If you try to fire him, I'll castrate you and fuck you with your own anatomy. You are not to tell him we had this conversation. Don't _ever _mention my name."

"Alright, alright! Can you leave now?" he hisses.

"Still think I'm innocent?" I laugh as I leave his office. His door locks behind me, and I know I've won.

I walk back to the bar where Delic is talking to Erika, looking very worried. I frown, and take out my phone, checking the time.

I've been gone for 20 minutes.

Cursing, I make my way back over to them.

"Chibiya! Christ, where were you?" Delic snarls as he runs away from the bar to hold me.

"Haha, sorry. I got tied up." I say, wrapping my arms around his neck.

He frowns, taking in my appearance. I cock my head to the side.

"What's wrong? I look bad?" I pout. His eyes darken.

"Fuck, Chibiya..." he purrs. "You look so sexy..." his lips attack mine. I mewl at the contact, opening my mouth for him. His hands roam to my sides as he pulls me against him.

"Ahhh, what's...wrong?" I whimper as I melt into his hold. It's hard not to when he's on me like this.

"I just...need you..." he says quietly. I moan when he lifts me in his arms, kissing me harder. "It's been too long..."

"Delic..."

He pulls away, still lifting me off the floor. His eyes find mine, and he kisses me again.

"I hate Sal..." he hisses in between kisses. "He keeps me from you..."

I laugh lightly, rolling my tongue in his mouth.

"Relax, Delic~." I whisper in his ear. "I have a feeling you'll have time off soon enough."

He pulls away to look at me.

"What makes you say that?" he asks.

"Just a feeling." I smirk, glancing toward Sal's locked office door before I kiss Delic again.

It feels good knowing I protected what's mine.

* * *

_Sachi: Ah, blackmail. The sure fire way to get what you want!_

_ Hibiya: That seems like something Izaya would do, not me._

_ Sachi: You're an alternate of Izaya. That means that even though you're different in almost every way, you share some qualities. I even write Psyche with a dark side~._

_ Delic: Is anyone else turned on by devious Chibiya? _

_ Sachi: Eh? Not really. If it was IZAYA..._

_ Hibiya: Blasphemy!_

_ Delic: Review for love! We work hard for those reviews! _


	20. Chapter 20

_I'm having a 'blah' day. It's pouring down rain here, and my cat side wants to sleep. I decided to type a nice little chapter though, since I keep getting such wonderful reviews~! __KoolaidShipping__, lol it seems no one can wait until they have sex. I swear, I'm trying to make that scene as epic as possible. __Paranormal Alchemist__, Hibi-chan's blackmail is his Izaya side! Haha, I was wondering on the whole 'suck off his privates' thing. That's still hilarious though. __wheezerteebs__, well, nice choice of username! I'm glad you like the story thus far! __FallingforWerewolves__, I feel you. I had to pay our internet bill today because we're so broke, my sister's check went toward everything else. I couldn't live without it though. __Maru de Kusanagi__, agreed! __jusqualafin__, haha, I love them too. Going into their pasts is actually enjoyable to think up. Smut you say? It'll come up again eventually. __Marshmallows Rule The World__, yay, I got a virtual marshmallow! And a hug! It seems we all like devious Hibi-chan. __KarkadeVantas__, Ringo Star fan? Haha, I always did like good ol' Ringo. As for me, I'm more for Lennon. Not just for his music, but for his views. __Braverly-Homunculus__, I'm most into Izaya. (If I haven't already made that totally clear, haha.) I love Roppi lots too though. __Rai Rai Blue__, thank you for being happy I found my Toki! I'm glad someone likes my post-scripts, haha. I love writing them. __Guest__, I'm glad you like my OOC Hibi-chan! I love you too! __LimeCrayons__, I have a thing for Dark!Hibiya too, haha. __Quiet. Crash__, I LOVE YOU TOO! __aurorage__, that's such a nice compliment! And yes, you said it right, haha. Character depth is what I go for. I want you to feel what he feels, which is why this fic is so sad. As for posting a picture of Toki, I have some on Facebook. If you want to add me, you can PM me about it. :D I love lengthy reviews, so keep posting them! __BlueRoseDream__, I think he's sweet too. I thought Spanish was easy, haha. I took it for 3 years, and never had any problems. I just never tried to further my knowledge of it, because I can't roll my 'R's. And in Spanish, you HAVE to roll your 'R's. __Cael Luciano__, thanks for being glad for Toki too! I'm glad you like my naughty Hibi-chan. SO, my dear readers, on with the story!_

* * *

_His_

Delic is still behind the counter. He's been pretty busy all night, and I feel so bad for him. Erika and I have been pouring over her Spanish notes. I feel like we're making good progress though, since she's finally using the conjugated formulas correctly. When she's writing more sentences, I yawn.

"Hibi-chan, you've been up since 6 this morning, right?" she asks, looking up at me.

"Hm? Oh, yes." I say, rubbing my eyes.

"Why don't you go home and get some sleep?"

"It's fine. I need to stay here." I tell her.

"Are you off tomorrow?"

"No. I work my normal shift."

"...That's crazy! You're going to stay here all night and then go straight to work? Hibi-chan, that's so unhealthy! You'll fall asleep while you're walking!" she squeaks, drawing attention to us.

"Erika, shhhh! I'll get a few hours; it's no big deal."

She eyes me steadily, but goes back to writing. I lean on my arms and watch her, listening to the music blaring on the speakers. It's a harder song, full of guitars and drums. I don't really care for it. It's nothing compared to Delic's music.

I look up at Delic, who's wiping glasses. He meets my gaze and grins, shaking his head. I wonder what he's thinking... Am I being funny? I smirk at him, leaning more into the counter. I feel very heavy right now.

The music going, and Erika's pencil scraping paper become a lullaby of sorts. I'm not sure why I feel so warm and heavy, I just...

* * *

I wake up with my face in my arms. I decide not to move just yet, because I'm still so comfy here. It's only when I feel hands in my hair that I notice I'm not alone.

"He's so cute." I hear Erika say quietly. "He's like a kid that can't stay up late."

"I don't understand why he didn't go home." Delic sighs. I recognize that it's his hands in my hair.

"Really? Isn't it obvious? He just wanted to be here with you, Delic." she replies. I feel his hands stop stroking, and they travel to my arms.

"With me?"

"Duh! You should've heard him when we were doing laundry this afternoon. It was, 'I never get to see him anymore', and 'I wish he had more time off'. He has to get up at 6 again too." she says.

"...I didn't know it was affecting him as bad as me..."

There's a slight pause as the hands on my arms start to trace little patterns in my skin. I hear Erika shift next to me, and I assume she's leaning on the counter.

"Delic... What are you doing?" she sighs.

"I know what you're thinking. It's alright though." he tells her.

"You're not alright! Delic... You're in love with him..."

I feel my heart flutter at this possibility. Why would that be a bad thing though? Erika seems unhappy about this thought.

"Erika..." he says.

"He loves you too. This is just... It's going to be so hard...for both of you..." her voice cracks. I hear Delic groan above me.

"It's alright. I told you, everything is fine. I'm doing good, see? I promise... I won't hurt him if that's what you're worried about..." he says.

She sniffs loudly and leans on me.

"He's just... He's been through so much... I don't see how he can be as cheerful as he is..."

They're worried about me? Why? I'm fine, aren't I? Delic is the one who needs sleep.

"I know. He's amazing, really. He just gets up every day and faces the world head on. I admire his confidence." Delic says quietly His hands are on me again.

Confidence? I wonder what they mean...

"I want to kill his dad." Erika spits.

"I'll help you."

...Oh, right... I'm ruined. It's funny, isn't it? Sometimes, when you first wake up, you can forget all your problems. I just now remembered who I am, and what I've been through. I guess they were thinking about that this whole time.

"It's almost time for you to get off now, right?" she asks him after a moment.

"Hmmm, yeah I think. I have to go tell Sal I'm leaving."

"Why? He always comes out of his office to inspect right? He does for me."

"Erika, he takes forever to inspect shit. You know how he is." Delic sighs.

"But those are the rules, Delic. Heh, you just want to get Hibi-chan home~."

"Yeah, true. I just-" he cuts off mid-sentence. "Well, looks like he is going to inspect."

I snap my head up at this. Delic and Erika are looking at me in surprise, but I only have eyes for Sal. I wasn't expecting another confrontation so soon, but I can't pretend to sleep and have him let something slip.

His eyes are on me too. Delic picks up on something, because his hand finds mine. He must think Sal wants to fuck me. Well, if only he know that _I _was the one who screwed Sal over.

"It's closing time, Delic." he says in his deep voice. His eyes are still on me.

"I'm alright to go then? No inspection?"

"Leave. You're off tomorrow and the next day."

I smirk at him. Good boy.

Delic is looking at him like he's floating in mid-air.

"I'm off? Really?"

"Did I stutter, Heiwajima? Now get the hell out!"

I frown. Bad dog.

"Sal", I say nicely, "Surely your night hasn't been _that _bad. I see no need to yell at your employees."

The man turns to me, fear evident in his face. See, in the business world, it doesn't matter that I'm half his size. In the business world, I'm bigger than he ever thought about being. I can _destroy _him. He knows it, and I know it. Of course, I'm no longer part of that lifestyle, but he doesn't know that.

"...See you in two nights." he huffs to Delic, shooting a glare at me as he stalks off. I stretch leisurely before I turn back around to see Delic and Erika staring at me with their mouths open.

"What?" I ask innocently.

"_What_? Hibi-chan, you just had him wrapped around your finger! How the hell did you do that?" Erika gasps.

"...I sat here and said it? You were right here." I shrug.

"Chibiya, since when do you know Sal?"

"I don't."

"He knew you. I know he did."

"Delic, he probably recognizes me from my old life. It happens, alright?" I huff, not wanting to have this conversation.

They look at each other, then back at me.

"Are you that famous?" Erika grins.

"In the business world? Yes. You'll find that many small business owners will act that way toward me. They think I'm still on good terms with my father."

I yawn widely again, unable to contain it.

"Can we go home now?" I ask the blonde innocently.

He shoots me another odd glance, before he nods. We say our goodbyes to Erika and make our way to his building.

"How long was I asleep?" I ask.

"About 2 hours. You were verging on it all night though. You're going to be exhausted tomorrow." he says, looking ahead.

"That's fine. At least you're off. You can sleep."

"...Chibiya... Why did you come here tonight?"

"To be with you."

"There's more to it than that. I'm not stupid."

"I never said you were." I frown. I have no clue why I'm sensing such hostility from him.

He's quiet the whole way home. I try to hold his hand, but he yanks his away.

What did I do?

Finally, we get inside and he goes into the bathroom, slamming the door. I change into night clothes and get into bed, still not knowing why he's pissed at me. He doesn't know what I did, right?

The door opens, and he shoves next to me, still completely silent.

"Delic, why are you mad at me?" I ask quietly, my voice small.

"Go to sleep, Chibiya."

"No! Tell me what I did!"

He turns over, facing me with a snarl on his face. I can make it out in the dim moonlight.

"When you disappeared earlier, to go take care of whatever you had to take care of... You let Sal fuck you, didn't you?"

"...What? No! Delic, I-"

"Chibiya! He only acts that way for people he's had sex with!"

_"Delic-"_

"You did that so I'd have time off?"

"I didn't-"

"You let someone else..." he drifts off. I feel him tense as his hands find my hips.

"Please just listen to me. I didn't have sex with Sal." I say. I don't think he's listening though.

His hands start moving, one going inside my shirt, and one hooking into my sleep pants.

"Delic?"

Then, his lips slam against mine. I hiss when he deepens it, cutting off what I was going to say. He moves on top of me, pinning my arms above my head. I look up at him when he pulls away, and he's staring lustfully down at me. Then, he grinds against me.

"Hahhh...Delic..."

"Louder." he snarls, shoving down harder.

"AH! Nnnnnn..."

He grunts in approval, leaning down to kiss me again as he rides harshly against me. I can barely breathe...

"I... I can't bear that thought...Chibiya..." he pants.

"I, _ahhhh_, I didn't..."

"I don't want to let anyone else...have you..." he says as he stops moving. His hands pull my sleep pants away, and hook into the hem of my boxers.

"You're...supposed to be mine..."

I move my hands to his shoulders, massaging gently.

"I am yours..."

He yanks my boxers down, and starts to kiss down my chest. I freeze when he nears my arousal with his mouth. He's not...

"I'm going to remind you..." he says quietly, before he licks the head of my swollen member.

"Delic! Ahhhh...so..." I groan as he engulfs the entire length in his mouth.

I can't breathe... I can't think...

This feels so...

Fucking good.

His hands move to my thighs, and he holds them to guide my hips back forth, shoving my erection in and out of his mouth. My hands are in the sheets now, gripping them so tight I'm sure they'll rip.

"Delic... Oh god...Please..." I pant as he hums, the vibrations sending shivers up my spine.

His eyes open, and he looks up at me through his bangs. I can see the pink glow of his eyes in the moonlight, and I can see what he's doing to my body. The sight makes my mouth dry. He pulls away, replacing his mouth with his hand.

"Please what?" he purrs.

"Don't stop... Hahhhh, please don't stop..." I whimper. I want his mouth, not his hand.

"That's right, Chibiya. Only I can touch you like this." he smirks, wrapping his mouth around me again.

"Oh...Fuck..."

He's much rougher this time. I feel my erection hit the back of his throat as I see stars behind my eyelids. When did I close my eyes?

I move my hips on my own now, shoving myself even further. Delic moans lowly, his hands still gripping my thighs.

"Delic... Ahhh, I'm going to... Nnnnnnnnn, God...I..." I can't even form a coherent sentence right now. His eyes open again, focusing on my face.

"Ahhhhhhh~! Delic!" I scream, arching my back as the orgasm consumes me. He keeps his mouth on me, swallowing the sticky substance as it shoots into his mouth. He groans lowly when I'm done, and releases me with a tiny 'pop'. I feel his mouth on my body again, kissing up to my neck, where he latches on. I cry silently, sniffling a little as I come down from my cloud.

I'm panting too hard to say anything. My hands travel to his hair, and I yank harshly.

"Ahh, Chibiya..." he moans before he bites my neck _hard_.

"Nnnnnn! Delic...hurts..." I whimper.

He starts to suck the area he just bit. I keep my hands in his hair, groaning lowly as his hands trail up my shirt to pinch my nipples. Finally, he releases my abused neck, and travels to suck on my tongue instead.

"Nnnnmmmmm..." I sigh happily as he kisses me hard. He's being so possessive... It's amazingly sexy.

"Delic..." I whine when he nibbles my bottom lip. "I...blackmailed Sal..."

"What?" he asks, finally hearing me.

"I... I asked him for a job, and he tried to have sex with me, but I was recording on my cell phone...the whole time..."

His eyes widen as he looks at me.

"You... That was so dangerous..."

"I had to... Delic, he was working you to death and I... I'm sorry... I would never...let anyone else have me..." I assure him, moving my hands to his face.

"Chibiya... Fuck, you're so...reckless."

"It worked though! I got you 2 off days a week! And he has to always have 2 bartenders on call if you're insanely busy, like you were tonight. At least it worked out, ne?"

He quirks a brow, hovering over me.

"You're telling me he didn't touch you at all? Sal didn't put a hand on you?"

"...He kissed me...and groped me..."

He growls.

"But it was a very chaste kiss! As for the groping, that's when I pushed him off!"

He snarls lowly, kissing me again. His mouth is swallowing mine, and I mewl lowly to accept his probing tongue.

"You're so amazing... So perfect..." he sighs in between kisses.

"Delic... Hahhh, surely you know by now...that I adore you..." I say quietly as he kisses me even harder.

He pulls back to brush my bangs away from my face. He's looking at me thoughtfully through his hazy magenta orbs.

"You adore me?"

"Worship...you..."

He gets a pained look on his face and kisses me again.

"Christ, Chibiya..." he hisses, his hands latching around mine. He's all over me...

I don't know why, but he's holding me tighter. His kisses are more tender. His eyes are full of an emotion I can't even fathom right now. He stays this way until sleep consumes us both with harsh finality.

Our hands remain clasped together.

* * *

_Sachi: I. Am. Proud. Of this scene._

_ Hibiya: That was a very in-depth smut scene..._

_ Delic: FUCK YEAH! Whoooo, action!_

_ Sachi: Haha, I hope that appeases you all for a little while longer! Leave me a nice review if you liked it! If you hated it... *flails*_

_ Hibiya: *sigh* Review so she'll stop behaving like an imbecile._

_ Delic: I feel awesome. _


	21. Chapter 21

_And the rain continues… I'm so lazy when it rains. I mean, I LOVE rainy weather, don't get me wrong. I haven't felt great lately though, so now the rain just makes me want to sleep. I had to work today. Actually, I have work every day until Sunday. UGH. Anyway, I decided to post early because I'm too tired to do anything else. I can't believe we've reached over 20 chapters now. This one has a long way to go too. It may be my longest fic, if this keeps up. __FallingforWerewolves__, thank you! I love him that way too. __KarkadeVantas__, aw, hello to your kitty! Toki tends to try and sit on my laptop when I write. He HATES when I type. __Paranormal Alchemist__, haha, I love how you latched to Delic! __BlueRoseDream__, *joins your happy dance* __incidentalmusic__, um... I can pay you in love? Money, I lack. __Rai Rai Blue__, fleas? Haha, yes! Fleas! Thank you for saying so! __darkestlight96__, thank you! __Guest__, it loves you too! __KoolaidShipping__, thank yooooou! I thought it turned out well too! __Quiet. Crash__, I think of Hibi-chan as a...brat. Haha. I think he holds tight to what's his. That's how I write him, even in OOC mode. __S. Oyabun__, I was wondering where you went! __Cael Luciano__, the 'bad dog' part made me smile too. That was an Izaya moment indeed. Anywho, since I put smut in the last chapter (because I was rewarding you for reviewing so much) this chapter will consist of... FLUFF! I love Fluffy!Delic. He will be plentiful in this chapter. Why do I write fluff? Because if it was just smut, it would be lust and not love! So meh! On with the huffin' story~!_

* * *

_Unexpected_

My alarm clock starts blaring at 6am. I groan loudly, and flip my phone open to turn it off. I immediately notice something is wrong. I can't seem to focus my eyes. I blink, trying to will the ailment away, but it remains.

Delic rolls closer, wrapping his arms around my waist. He does this every morning when my alarm goes off. He seems to think if he cuddles, I won't leave the bed. Today, he's right. I set another alarm 15 minutes from now, and scoot closer to him. He sighs happily.

"'S wrong?" he mumbles.

"I don't know. I'm tired."

"Well, you only got 2 hours of sleep." he says much more clearly.

"Not my best idea..." I reply. As soon as my head hits the pillow, I start to fade from consciousness again. Delic is saying something, but I...

* * *

I wake up when my alarm blares again. I notice Delic isn't in the bed anymore. He's in the corner of the room, on the phone.

"Yeah... Yeah, he's burning up." he says.

Who? Who's burning up?

"Yeah, I know. I'll take him later if he stays this bad. He wouldn't even wake up when I shook him! That's how I knew. He's usually such a light sleeper." he continues.

I open a weary eye to observe him as he looks over at me.

"I'll tell him. Thank you so much for understanding. Yeah, bye." he hangs up and hurries toward me.

"Who was that?" I ask dimly. My throat is scratchy.

"Deborah." he says gently as he lies beside me.

"Am I in trouble? Oh God, I'll be late!" I try to shuffle out of the bed, but Delic has a grip on me.

"Easy there, Chibiya. I called in for you."

"Why? I can't afford an off day!" I wail, trying to untangle myself from his vice grip.

"You're sick."

I blink at him. What did he say?

"I'm fine."

He pulls me closer so his chin is on my shoulder. He's spooning behind me, throwing his legs over mine.

"Go to sleep, babe." he whispers.

"But I..."

He kisses my ear lobe as his hands trace my arms. I start feeling heavy again, and that's it. I close my eyes, and I'm gone.

* * *

Hibiya never had many sick days as a child. Sometimes he would come down with something, but quickly get over it. Most kids get sick when they play with their friends at school. That was his secret to never getting sick. He never had friends.

When he was older, he got sick quite a lot. In his boarding school, he was never alone. Seiji was quite social, and that made him catch whatever his roommate brought back with him. Mika used to make him soup, and he would scowl when she tried to make him eat it. Seiji would laugh.

Mairu, on the other hand, was _always _sick. She had a weak immune system. Hibiya used to stay up with her at night when she would have her spells, coughing until her small frame shook with sobs. He hated staying with people when they were sick. It was...hard to watch.

Their parents had the maids care for them if they were sick. Mairu had her own maid, because the child was so weak. Hibiya always stayed in his sister's room with her more often than not.

"Hibiya..." she said one night after a particularly bad coughing fit. Her voice was small.

"Yes?"

"Why...am I always sick?" she asked.

Hibiya frowned at the question. She was only 5... So why was she always sick?

"Weak immune system." he said.

"What's that?"

"It means your body can't fight colds off as well as most people."

"That's bad..." she said in her 5 year old logic.

"It is." he grinned, smoothing her covers.

"Hibiya..." she said again.

"Yes?"

"Why are you always in here?"

"...I don't like my room. Do you want me to leave?"

"NO! No, stay! I was just wondering..."

He lay beside her and ruffled her hair, earning a whine of protest. It was quiet for a bit. The sound of rain hitting the roof filled the room.

"Hibiya..." she said yet again, jerking him awake after his near state of unconsciousness.

"Wha..." he mumbled.

"Why does Father stay in your room so much?"

"...You've noticed that...?"

"Yes."

He pulled her closer, kissing her hair. What was he supposed to say?

"Father likes to play his games." he said.

"What games?"

"Bad games. One day...we'll go far away from them."

"Away from Mother and Father?"

"Away from it all, Mairu. We'll leave this place far behind." he said.

"That's scary." she whimpered.

"No it's not. I'll be with you."

"You'll never leave?"

"Never."

The rain lulled the young Oriharas to sleep, neither knowing Hibiya would be leaving in only a week, never to come back.

* * *

I wake up later in an uneasy way. I hate dreaming of my sister. All I can think of is how she is, where she is... Is she alive?

Delic's arms are around my waist again. He's breathing heavily, and I know he's asleep.

"Delic..." I whisper, shifting in his grasp to face him over my shoulder.

"Nnnnnn?"

"Did I miss work?"

He cracks an eye open.

"You're still sick, Chibiya."

"Sick?"

His hand moves to my face, resting on my forehead. He frowns, putting his other hand on his own forehead.

"You're still burning up..." he whispers more to himself than me.

"I'm perfectly fine, Delic. I need to see if I can work a later shift..." I say as I reach over to find my phone. I don't know why he's saying I'm sick. I feel fine right now.

He growls, turning me over so I'm facing him.

"Chibiya." he warns.

"Why am I in trouble? I didn't do anything!" I wail, burying my face in his chest. He groans as he holds me again.

"You're sick, alright? Damn sick if you're acting like this."

"I just want to work... And you're mad at me..."

"I'm not mad!"

I whine lowly, and I nuzzle into his chest.

"'M not...sick..."

His lips rest on my head as he chuckles.

"I think I need to find you some medicine to bring that fever down. I can't have you being delusional all night."

I groan, holding him tighter so he can't get up. He tries anyway.

"Nooo! I'll be cold if you go!"

"Chibiya, I'm coming right back!" he says incredulously.

"Don't leave me..."

He levels his gaze on me and sighs. I look up at him through my bangs, trying to blink the sleep away.

"Go back to sleep..." he tells me in a pleading voice.

"I don't want to..."

"You'll feel better. I'll sleep with you."

"...I can think of other ways..." my sentence remains unfinished, but I was going to finish it with 'you can sleep with me'. In case you ever wanted to know.

* * *

Mairu looked at Hibiya with pure distaste. She was older now. Her hair was long, and her red eyes were filled with hatred.

"Mairu..." Hibiya whimpered. He looked around for Delic, but Delic was gone.

Everyone was gone.

"Shut up." she hissed. He flinched at her harsh words.

"You left me! You let this happen!" she yelled.

"I never meant to leave! Mairu, I'm so sorry..."

"Shut up!"

"..."

"It's because of you...that I'm dead..."

He watched as her body began to rapidly decompose before him.

"MAIRU!" he screamed, watching in terror as his sister disintegrated. She became a pile of dust, before she blew away from him. He was left with the whisper of her voice.

_"You did this to me. You killed me..."_

* * *

I wake up screaming this time. Delic is across the room fiddling with a bottle of pills. He drops them when I start kicking like a madman.

"Chibiya!"

"I killed her! I KILLED her! It should've been me!" I don't know what I'm saying, I just say it. He pins me down.

"Don't say that! It was just a bad dream! Calm down..."

I'm sobbing uncontrollably. I feel my body go limp under him. He feels it too, because he moves to lie beside me again.

"Chibiya..." he whispers as he kisses my face.

How many times have I broken down in front of him now? I lose count.

"Delic... Delic, don't leave me again..."

"I had to get you some medicine... I didn't think you'd have a nightmare..." he tells me.

"Awful...awful dream... Mairu was dead...she blamed me... Oh, Delic..." I whine, cuddling closer to him. He sighs quietly, kissing my tears away. His hands wrap in mine.

"I hate this…" he says.

"Hate what?"

"You being so sad like this. I can't help you… I can never make you forget…"

"I don't need to forget, Delic. I must _always _remember…"

Honestly, I'm mostly out of it right now. I'm stuck somewhere between a delusion caused by fever, and an interrupted sleep cycle. However, my mouth decided to keep moving, and I just know I'm making Delic feel worse with every word.

"If she was dead… It would be my fault. I left her there. I'm here now, safe with you, and I can't even find her. I hate this too, Delic. I hate me so much…"

He makes a noise of disagreement, and tries to say something, but I cut him off.

"I'm so pathetic aren't I? All I can ever do…is mooch off of others. It's your first off day in 2 weeks, and you're spending it babysitting me…"

Finally, he cuts me off with his lips on mine. I mewl quietly, scooting closer to him. His warmth is spreading through me… It's hot. Not in a good way.

"Delic… I…I'm really hot…" I whine.

"You're burning up, like I said. I told you."

"How long…have we been here?" My mind is coming back to me now.

"All day. Are you hungry?"

"Starving…"

He pulls away from me again, but I follow him. He looks at me in disapproval.

"I don't want to be alone." I tell him simply.

He gets a can of soup from the cabinet. I watch him as he pours it in a pot and starts cooking it.

"Won't you get sick too?" I ask worriedly. He laughs.

"Nah. I don't really get colds." He says, shooting me a grin.

I go back to the bedroom to retrieve my phone. I have 3 unread messages. The first is from Masaomi.

_[Went to the coffee shop and you weren't there! You okay?]_

Then Mikado.

_[Didn't you want to have lunch today? We came to see you at work, but you were gone. Hope you're fine!]_

Lastly Erika.

_[We studied all night for nothing. I missed the final because I'm sick.]_

Ah, I see.

"Well, I found out why I'm sick." I say grimly as I walk back into the kitchen. Delic is pouring the soup into 2 bowls. He looks up.

"Why?"

"Sal. He gave me syphilis."

He turns to me in pure terror, almost dropping the pot.

"WHAT?"

"Haha! No, it was Erika. Nice though." I remark as I sit at the table. He scowls at me, placing the bowl in front of me.

"That wasn't funny." He huffs.

"I can't believe you fell for it. Do you know how long it would take for symptoms of that to show? More than a few hours. Plus, I already told you, I didn't have sex with him." I grin, sipping the soup. Ah, vegetable soup.

"I owe Sal a firm punch in the face." He spits, sitting beside me.

"No. He's going to be my bitch now, so we like him." I grin. He laughs so hard he almost spits out his soup.

"Your _bitch?_"

"Yes. I told him what I want, and if he doesn't do that, he shall be punished. Therefore, he's my bitch."

His hand goes to my forehead again, and he shoots me another worried glance.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Your fever. You're acting like you're drunk, which is how I know it's bad." He says quietly.

"I just need more sleep. Maybe some Aspirin."

"If you're not better by tomorrow, you're going to a doctor." He says with finality.

"Delic! We can't afford a doctor! I'm fine!"

"Finish your soup." He grins, treating me like a kid. I huff at him, and swallow the remainder of what's in the bowl. I frown when he presents me with the bottle of pills from before.

"I don't want those…" I grumble.

"Chibiya."

"Delic." I mimic. He stares me down, his magenta eyes hard.

"Please?"

I open the bottle, taking some out. I send him another glare, before I put them in my mouth, following them with water. I immediately start coughing like crazy. Delic's hand runs along my spine soothingly.

"There. Now relax so you can get them down. I want you to go back to sleep." He says.

"I'm not a kid. So stop babysitting me."

"I'm going with you." He yawns. "I'm still crazy tired too. I think working these long hours has finally caught up with me."

I cough again into my hand, letting us both know it wasn't just the pills that made me hack last time.

"Bed." Delic growls.

"Fine."

We go together, him crawling beside me. He looks into my eyes, and I see mine reflected in his pink orbs. His hands caress my face, and I lean into them. I love when he touches me so tenderly.

"Delic… Is everything alright?" I ask him tiredly.

"I was worried about you... Earlier when I tried to wake you up for work…you wouldn't wake up and I was scared."

"Haha, I was breathing. You shouldn't have worried." I laugh.

"Still…"

I kiss his cheek, scooting closer to him.

"Sorry…"

"Mmmm, I want a real kiss." He purrs.

"You'll get sick."

He shakes his head, forcing his mouth against mine heatedly. I groan quietly, tilting my head so our mouths fit together like a puzzle piece.

"Delic…."

"You taste so good…" he mewls, kissing me again and again. I grip him tightly, fighting the exhaustion that's suddenly crept over me. He pulls back, grinning at my flustered expression. Then he frowns because I'm not blushing just from the kiss.

"Chibiya?"

"Feel…bad…"

His forehead leans against mine and he laces our fingers together.

"Sleep…please."

I whimper, burying my face in his neck. His scent calms me down. I feel horrible. I think the soup made my stomach hurt or something. It just all came at me at once. The heavy feeling comes back, and I settle against him.

Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I know this has happened between me and someone before. I know last time, I was the one who was worried. I know I'm still worried about that person. I know I have so much to do. I know…

I know…

.

.

.

* * *

_Sachi: Ah, time for sleep._

_Hibiya: Why do you have to update late? We're all tired!_

_Delic: I'm up anyway. And so are you, Chibiya. *wink*_

_Sachi: Oho! New development~! Anywho, review for my love! I'll update ASAP, I swear. I love all of you!_


	22. Chapter 22

_Here we are again. Another update! I feel pretty epic for updating so often. Haha, really it's because I'm sick. With allergies. I get used to the crazy 100 degree weather, and then it starts raining for a week straight. Ah, that's Alabama weather for you. Anyway, I'm constantly tired, and all I have energy for is sitting here typing. I guess it works out nicely for all of you though, haha. The good thing is, Toki is sitting loyally beside me. I've noticed that if I sit down for more than 5 minutes at a time, he tends to roam in here. He's been good about me typing lately too. He just goes to sleep. Anywho, now for my love! __KarkadeVantas__, my sister uses GIMP for photo editing. I'm more for Photoshop, but it's damn expensive! __Paranormal Alchemist__, haha, Pimp!Hibiya...too much. __Logic Dive__, sorry! I tend to write a lot when I don't feel well. I accept your hugs and cookies! __Rai Rai Blue__, you were right about me getting sick! As for hot or cold... I'll be nice and say hot. The reviews DO make me feel better~! __Quiet. Crash__, you're welcome for the fluff! __S. Oyabun__, I WOULD kill you if you were with Izaya. As for Hibi-chan, take that up with Delic, haha. Good to have you back regardless! __incidentalmusic__, I'm so glad you liked it! __BlueRoseDream__, I'm the same way. I like to pretend I'm not sick, and wait until it gets REALLY bad to get help. Enjoy your vacation! __Cael Luciano__, the whole STD thing wrote itself, haha. I seriously didn't plan that one out. Glad it worked out! __FallingforWerewolves__, because he's an Orihara, and they're stubborn. __Guest__, THANK YOU! That's an awesome compliment. I feel they should hire me in Hollywood. They're obviously out of ideas, and I'm full of them! __LimeCrayons__, I laughed too at that part. __Marshmallows Rule The World__, I did update fast! Muahahaha. I can't really TELL you whether or not your predictions were right or wrong... But I can say there was foreshadowing in the last chapter. See if you can find it~! (I'll give one hint: It's NOT about Mairu.) So, my lovelies, on with the story~!_

* * *

_Fever_

I open my eyes wearily. It's daybreak outside, so I know my alarm is about to go off. I roll over to turn it off before it can make a fuss and wake Delic up. The blonde is sound asleep, curled against me like a cat. He's breathing evenly, and I grin when he leans into my hand when I pet this hair.

Suddenly, I lurch forward, coughing violently into my hand. Fuck. I already forgot about that. Delic frowns in his sleep and grumbles at the noise.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Go to sleep." I say quietly, scooting closer to him. He doesn't need much convincing. He goes right back to sleep, still holding me tightly. I still feel terrible. Almost as bad as yesterday, maybe the same. I'll know for sure when I start moving around. The room feels hot, so I know I still have a fever.

It's at this point that I'm faced with a hard decision. Do I go to work today?

I know it _seems _easy enough. You're thinking that Deborah is nice, and she'll understand. It's not about her firing me that I'm worried about. It's about money.

I can't afford to miss another day of work. Delic needs help paying bills, and I have a phone bill to worry about now. Not to mention, if Mikado _does _find Mairu, I need money to travel and see her...

I need to work.

I shift out from under Delic's arms and place my feet on the floor. Instantly, the room starts to spin.

"Nnnnghhhhh..." I groan quietly. The vertigo passes as soon as it came, and I make it to the bathroom. I look in the mirror and see myself for the first time. No wonder Delic is worried! I look pretty bad.

The hot water from the shower helps. It makes my achy feeling numb a bit, and the throbbing in my head seems to calm down too. As soon as I get out, it returns. I don't know if I can make it all day like this...

Delic is still asleep when I return to the room to get dressed. He's rolled over on my side of the bed with his face buried in my pillow. I quietly finish getting ready, give him a kiss, and slip out.

I know it's not really smart of me to go when I feel this bad, but I can't help it. I need the money. Besides, if I stay home, Delic will waste his last off day taking care of me again. I want him to do what he needs to do to relax, and not sleep all day today. He needs to go see his friends.

I stumble to work, doing my best not to run into Deborah. She looks at me in shock when I arrive.

"Hibiya? Delic told me you were sick yesterday!" she says. "I was about to call you and see if you needed another day."

"I'm fine now. I need to work."

She looks at me skeptically.

"You look awful, dear."

"Really... I'm fine."

Her hand shoots to my forehead, and she recoils it like it burned her.

"You most certainly are _not _fine! Go home and get some rest!" she tells me.

"Deborah, please... I need the money..."

Her eyes soften and she puts a hand on my face this time.

"One day next week, I'll let you work a double to make up for it, alright? But you have to _promise _me you're going to go straight home." she says. I weigh this option, and decide it'll probably be for the best.

"Fine..." I mumble, unwilling to admit I'm too sick to work.

"Are you sure you're alright to get there alone?"

"I made it here by myself, didn't I?" I grin. A fresh wave of vertigo lands on me, and I have to lean against the counter.

"Hibiya?"

"I just...need to rest here a minute..." I figure since it passed last time, it'll pass this time. All I have to do is wait. I lean more into the hard surface and place my arms on top of the counter so my head can rest on them. Deborah's hands go to my back.

Then, everything goes black.

* * *

When I wake up, I feel someone carrying me. I shift in their grasp, trying to figure out who it is. It doesn't take long though. Only one person has hair that gold.

"Delic...?" I mumble.

He stumbles, tightening his grip on my legs as he balances himself.

"Chibiya! Are you alright?" he asks in a frantic voice. I don't like how he sounds right now. He sounds scared.

"Hurts..." I whimper honestly. My arms wrap around his neck tightly as he gives me a piggy-back ride.

"Don't worry. We're going to the doctor." he tells me. I glance up and notice we're in the same area he took me to my first day in the city. We're downtown.

"I don't...want a doctor..." I inform him.

"I don't care. You passed out at work. Deborah called me in hysterics saying she couldn't get you to wake up."

Is it just me, or did his voice break toward the end of that sentence?

"Delic?"

He takes a hand away from my leg, and wipes under his eyes, before he returns it to where it was.

"Don't cry..."

"I thought... I don't know what I thought, but it was scary, alright? Deborah just sounded frantic and it made me worried too. And then I got there and you were in a booth not moving and..." he curses as he comes to a halt.

"I'm sorry." I say quietly.

"You're so stubborn, Chibiya... So stubborn..." he puts me down on the sidewalk so I'm facing him. His eyes are filled with tears.

"Delic..."

His arms fly around me, holding me to him in a vice grip. I wince as his strength crushes me, but I endure it. I deserve it.

"Don't scare me like that again..." he says breathlessly.

"I...sorry..." I gasp. He frowns as he releases me.

"You're still burning up too. I think it's worse than yesterday."

"I do...feel bad..."

He kisses my forehead and lets his lips linger there for a moment. When he pulls away, his eyes are filled with that emotion again.

The one I can't bring myself to believe he feels for me.

"Hop on." he grins, turning around so I can climb onto his back. Once I'm situated, I hug him around the neck again.

"I'm not heavy?" I ask quietly. It hurts to talk.

"You? Hah! You're light as a feather." he says as he walks faster down the street.

"You're...so wonderful..."

"I'm not. If I was wonderful, I would've stopped you from leaving this morning.

"No... You're wonderful to...me..."

"Oh yeah? Well, you're perfect."

I laugh quietly, before I lean down to whisper into his ear.

"When I'm better... I want to give you the blowjob this time..." I say. He shivers and holds me tighter.

"Fuck, Chibiya. Don't say stuff like that or we won't make it to the doctor's office."

"_I _wouldn't mind that at all."

He chuckles as he carries me. When we arrive at the doctor's office, he places me in a chair and signs my name on the sheet. When the nurse calls for me to go see the doctor, my heart stops.

"Hibiya Heiwajima!" she calls. I look over at Delic who's grinning at me like a madman.

"Heiwajima?"

"I didn't want to put your last name! So I...put mine..." he says sheepishly. "Besides, I think it has quite the ring to it."

* * *

The doctor takes _forever _to examine me. Literally forever. What am I diagnosed with? The flu. The FLU. Two hours of my life wasted just to learn I have what I already know I have! That's why I fucking hate doctors! Delic breathes a sigh of relief at the simple diagnosis.

On our way home, we stop by a pharmacy. I frown as the pharmacist fills a bag with various drugs.

"Why are all of those necessary? It's just the flu." I huff.

"The flu can kill you. You have to be hydrated and maintain a healthy body temperature." the woman says. I glare at her for actually knowing the answer. I wanted her to be stupid.

"Give him what you have to. He's being a baby." Delic grins to her. She blushes at him. Immediately, I hate her.

"Can we hurry this along? I may feel the sudden urge to cough on you." I tell her.

"Chibiya!"

She hurriedly hands me the bag, which I snatch and begin to walk away. Delic pays her before he rushes after me.

"Someone's grouchy." he says.

"Someone's feeling tired and irritable." I correct.

"Jealous too."

"Shut up."

"Here, hop on. If you walk you may get dizzy again."

He carries me the whole way home. It's funny, but I don't remember half of the way. I drifted in and out of consciousness the entire time.

I'm aware of the bed under me. Delic crawls over me.

"Noouuuu. You need to go...out with friends..." I say miserably. I hate myself for making him sacrifice more free time for me. He laughs.

"Chibiya, it's not even noon yet. We have plenty of time. Right now, I'm thinking a nap would be nice."

"Oh...good..." I sigh.

"Nuh-uh. Not so fast. You're taking your medicine first."

"...You hate me!"

"No I don't! Now take the pills!"

It takes a small amount of wrestling, and finally being held down forcefully, but he gets me to take it. We're going to sleep the afternoon away, and get up later. I'm going to try and force him to go have fun. He deserves it.

Right now though, there's nowhere else I want him to be.

* * *

_Sachi: Short, chapter is short. I know. It's a drabble. I have a very significant couple of chapters coming up soon though, so these slow ones are nice for now. Besides, I'm tired. :(_

_ Hibiya: What if your readers feel this was a waste of their time?_

_ Sachi: They won't! *puppy eyes* _

_ Delic: Ugh, you two and your constant bickering. Now I know how Roppi feels when you put him, Chibiya, and Psyche in a room together._

_ Sachi: Hehe. It's fun to write those scenes. (With Izaya.)_

_ Hibiya: *glares*_

_ Sachi: Anywho, review for my love! Sorry it was a slow chapter! You can forgive me, ne? I'm sick! _


	23. Chapter 23

_I'm baaaaaaaacccccccck~! Haha, I feel better, but my throat is still sore. That's really my tonsil's fault though. They SUCK. Stupid little anatomy devils...*grumbles to self* Ahh, but I'm getting carried away. Yesterday my sister and I took my niece to the park. A little boy was quick to volunteer to play with her. Most of the guardians were sitting on benches watching the kids play... My sister and I played on the see-saw. VERY LOUDLY. I believe I called her a bitch a few times for pushing too hard and almost making me fly off the damn thing. We caused a scene. I loved it. Now, time for my love! __Lime Crayons__, I try! __S. Oyabun__, but if I kill you, how will you review my stories? Want me to send you the flu and send Delic to care for you? __Logic Dive__, yay thank you! I feel better now! __KarkadeVantas__, he appreciates your salute! I prefer pencil and paper too. I don't know, my art is old fashioned. __BlueRoseDream__, I hate pills too. Hope your trip is good! I'll miss your reviews! __Rai Rai Blue__, if you can't figure it out, it means I'm doing a good job! I also wait until the last minute to get help when I'm sick. I had Bronchitis once, and didn't tell anyone about it for fear of having to get a shot. So, I waited until my Dad caught me coughing up blood because it was Pneumonia by that point. Ah, I was in so much trouble... WORTH IT! __aurorage__, you're the first one to comment on what Erika said to Delic! It's a VERY significant hint! You think I'm more of a master mind than Izaya? SCORE! __erihan__, I really never get the flu... If I get sick, it's usually either allergies or something bad. __Paranormal Alchemist__, bahahahah! Still calling Hibi-chan a pimp. Hibi-chan is mean to me in the post-scripts. __Quiet. Crash__, I'm so sorry! I'll help you come back to good scenes! __Rai Rai Blue__, cold. Try again~! __Cael Luciano__, beef stew is good! I hope you enjoyed it and didn't hurt your monitor too bad. __Koolaidshipping__, thank yoooou! I thought it was a drabble myself, but I'm glad you liked it. __Ganne200__, yay, I'm so glad you like it! Try not to scare your family too much... After a while, they sign papers to lock you up... __AllTheLovelyBrains__, it's been a while! I'm so happy you think the plot has developed nicely! Much love to you all! On with the story~! (This one has plot development!)_

* * *

_Reunited_

I open my eyes to see a darkened room. Delic's arm is thrown over me, but he's awake. He's watching me with that look on his face again. The one that looks like he doesn't think I'm real. He grins at me when he notices I'm awake, and his hands brush my hair away from my eyes.

"Mmmmm..." I sigh happily. "Your hands feel good..."

"That's because they're cold compared to you. You're still warm." he says as he places his forehead against mine. His hands wrap in both of mine, and our fingers lace together.

"How long have you been awake?" I ask him.

"Just for a little bit. I didn't want to wake you up."

"You just sat there and watched me sleep? Haha, that must've been boring."

"No, not at all. You're so cute. You mumble in your sleep~."

"...What did I say?" I know I talk in my sleep. Seiji always used to tell me.

Delic pulls one of my hands to his face and kisses it. His eyes fill with that unknown emotion again as he sighs happily.

"You said my name a bit. And...your sister's... You kept saying you were sorry."

"Ah... Sounds about right..." I whisper. At least Mairu didn't die in my dream this time. She just kept blaming me.

"Delic... I know... Something bad has happened to my sister..."

"Chibiya, we'll find her alright? And when we do, we'll help her." he tells me. Delic always looks on the bright side. He looks on the side that I can't see.

I've never been able to see it.

I shake my head at him sadly. He pulls me closer and sighs, kissing me gently before he pulls away again.

"If you're thinking of the worst possible outcome, in an entirely hypothetical way, what do you think happened?" he asks me quietly.

"I think she's dead." I say without missing a beat. His eyes widen.

"How would she have died?"

"She was weak. She was always sick when she was younger. She could've caught a cold. She could've been in an accident. She could've gone through the same thing with Father that I did, and then killed herself."

"She's 10, right? No 10 year old I know has ever killed themselves." he tells me.

"Delic... Even then...I..." I break off. I've never told him of my suicide attempts. Yes, attempts. It was more than just the one where Seiji stopped me. I'm not going to tell him though.

He has enough to worry about.

"You what?" he asks.

"I want to go out tonight~."

He gives me the "Delic" stare. It's what I call it when he raises one eyebrow and frowns at me. He's been doing it a lot lately.

"Don't do that. I told you I wanted you to go have fun."

"You're still sick." he says stubbornly.

"Delic, my fever is down enough to where I'm not going to pass out. Even if I do, you'll be there with me. Besides, I think a drink could do us both some good after being so stressed recently."

"I don't want you to drink."

"You don't want me to do a lot of things, but that doesn't stop me. If you could predict everything I do, you wouldn't like me as much." I shrug. He glares at me, so I nuzzle into his neck a little, purring softly.

"Chibiya."

"We have friends that want to see us... And I _really _want to dance with you..."

"Dance?"

"Mmmm, in front of everyone. Can't you see it now? Our hands would be all over the place..."

He whines softly and begins kissing down my neck. He nips my collar bone and sucks lightly.

"Ahhh...Delic... Please... Can we go?"

"Mmm-Hmmm..."

I connect our mouths, slowly rolling our tongues together. He holds my head to stop me from pulling away, and he kisses me hard. I push him off and climb on top of him, kissing him again.

"Chibiya~..."

"Let's...go..."

I roll off of him and go to the closet. Delic has arranged it to where all of our clothes can fit in his closet. We even share an underwear drawer. That's how comfortable we've gotten around each other.

I jump when my phone rings. Delic picks it up and reads the name. He frowns.

"Who's Masaomi?" he asks.

"The guy from the bar. The blonde one, remember?" I say as I take it from him.

"You're taking his calls?" he huffs. Ah, I forgot he doesn't know I'm friends with Masaomi and Mikado.

"He has a boyfriend, Delic." I laugh. "The other guy that was with him. You didn't notice because you were all over me that night~." He looks at the floor, trying to remember.

"Hello?" I say into my phone.

_"HIBI-CHAAAAAAAAN~!" _I curse and pull the phone away from my ear. Delic gives it his famous stare.

"Masaomi." I greet.

_"Dude! We thought you were dead! You haven't talked to us in days!"_

"Ah, I've been a little sick."

"A _little_?" Delic huffs.

_"So has Erika. Mikado has been playing her nurse." _he laughs.

"Walker hasn't been taking care of her?"

_"He's been at work. She refused to let him call in, so she's been taking my little Kado away from meeeee! I need a man's touch, Hibi-chan~."_

Delic hisses at the phone.

"Ah, well I can see if Delic's boss is available."

_"Could you? I'd offer to let you fuck me, but I'm more for manly men."_

"...Since when is Mikado manly?"

_"He has a side you don't know... Anywho, what's up for tonight? Still sick?"_

"Yeah. We're going out though." I tell him as Delic walks behind me and starts kissing my neck again. He likes to see how long I can have a conversation before I make an embarassing noise.

_"Where? We'll join you. Mikado is making Erika take her pills right now, but I'm sure they'll want to see you."_

"I, ahhhh, I think we're going...to the place...downtown... With the, _nnnnn_, the big...lights..." I manage as the blonde's hands travel to my sides, gripping into my shirt and teasing my bare skin underneath.

_"You sound pretty bad. Does it hurt?" _Masaomi asks sympathetically. I laugh.

"Feels...great..." I sigh, tilting my head to give Delic better access to my neck.

_"...Masochist. We'll see you there, cutie~! I want to dance!" _he says as he hangs up.

"You're such a...bastard..." I hiss to the man currently licking me like I'm candy.

"No. I had a father. He sucked." Delic laughs, turning my head so he can kiss me again. This man makes it almost impossible to go anywhere! I shift out of his grasp and pull some new clothes out of my side of the closet.

"I'm getting dressed away from you. You're too handsy right now." I inform him.

"I'm in trouble?" he pouts.

"Yes. Now get dressed~."

We both get dressed on opposite sides of the room. I don't miss him casting me glances. Probably because I'm glancing at him too.

Really, these fucking hormones are driving me insane.

We walk downtown together. I breathe in the warm night air happily. It's almost Summer time. It smells like rain.

"Hmm... We should've packed an umbrella..." Delic says as he looks at the sky. The stars are still visible right now, but I know they'll be covered by clouds soon enough.

"No. I want to walk in the rain. I love it." I say.

"That won't be good for your fever."

"It's fine. I'll take my chances."

He swings our hands together as we walk. I'm pleased because my coughing spells have subsided for now at least. I'm sure drinking will probably counteract my medication, because alcohol dehydrates you rapidly, but I want to have fun tonight.

I'll just drink a little.

"If your fever picks back up, we're leaving." he warns.

Fuck.

I open my mouth to argue, but I'm interrupted by a loud shout.

"HIBI-CHAAAAAAAN~!" two voices yell in unison. I look up to see Erika and Masaomi flailing toward me wildly. I raise my hand to greet them, but sadly they're not stopping. Their weight knocks me to the ground as they run into me.

"Hibi-chan! I'm so glad to see you! We're gonna have so much fun tonight~!" Erika squeals as she nuzzles into me.

"You look awesome! I was afraid you'd look like a mummy, but you're still pretty hot~!" Masaomi says happily as he playfully punches me a few times.

"You know, most people don't like being one with the sidewalk." Delic says from above us. His hand stretches out, and I take it gratefully. His strength pulls me away from them, and into his chest.

"Hibiya! Ah, I'm so happy you're alright! Your boss burst into tears today when we asked where you were!" Mikado says as he catches up to us.

I look at the man skeptically. He's not much bigger than me. Maybe he's the same size? Masaomi says he has a dominant side... He truly doesn't look it. But then, I never judge people based on appearance. I mean, look at me. I'm only 5'8", and I almost made Sal cry the other night.

"It's great to see all of you." I tell them. "Did you call Saburo and Kadota?" I ask Delic as I turn to him.

"Yeah. They'll be here in a little bit." he says.

"Ah, then let's go in, shall we?" I ask them all. I grab Delic's hand as I lead him, the rest following us.

Inside this bar is much different from Sal's. There's no smoking allowed in here, so it's much easier to breathe. The music is loud, but it's not entirely distasteful. There's a live band playing here. The man singing sounds pretty good.

We find a booth in the back. Erika runs off to buy alcohol for everyone. She's always the most eager to drink. I'll have to remember to ask her about that one day.

"So, Hibi-chan, how are you and your hubby?" Masaomi asks. Delic tenses at the words. I realize why.

See, we haven't really established anything yet. We went on one date, and have engaged in sexual acts, but we never gave ourselves an actual title. We've never decided whether or not we're in a relationship. We both tend to avoid the topic, for fear of complicating things.

"Fine." I say nonchalantly. Delic's arm drapes across me. "How are you?"

"Mikado is going back to school this semester~." Masaomi says proudly. The raven blushes.

"Yeah I... I decided to try and get a degree..." he mumbles.

"That's good! Have you decided what your major will be?" I ask.

"No clue yet... They all say I don't have to pick one now though. I guess it's alright not to have one."

"Most people in college don't have one picked out." I shrug.

"Are you going back to school?" Mikado asks nicely.

I could _strangle _him. Why? Because Erika is walking up at the start of this topic.

"No." I say.

"He's so fucking _stupid_!" Erika sighs dramatically as she passes the drinks around. "He's a genius and doesn't want to go back to school! I keep telling him he could be president or something!"

"A genius?" Masaomi grins.

"I'm not a genius."

"Did you guys know he can speak multiple languages? He's been tutoring me in Spanish." Erika says.

"Really? I was thinking of taking Russian... I think it'd be fun to learn." Mikado beams at me.

"He speaks that too."

_"Erika..."_

Delic is grinning at the exchange, obviously amused by my vexed expression.

"Oh come _on _Hibi-chan! I'm just stating facts!"

"Well, I guess you'd have to learn those things. You know, being an Orihara and all." Masaomi shrugs.

"Keep your voice down!" I hiss looking around. No one heard, thank goodness.

It's at that moment that Kadota makes his grand entrance, stepping past Erika and flopping into my lap. Delic snarls at the man and shoves him off, making him land unceremoniously on the floor with a bang.

Kadota is obviously fucked up.

"Dota-chin~!" Erika sings, helping him up. "What are you on?"

"Uh...weed I think. Oh, and a little bit of whiskey..." he slurs.

"You're not supposed to mix alcohol and weed, idiot." Delic says. "It makes you dizzy."

"Well, I guess that's why I fell."

"Where's Saburo?" I ask.

"Parking the van." Kadota grins as he pulls two chairs to the table, sitting in the front of the booth. One for him, and one for Saburo. "He loves that van more than life itself."

"Not true." Saburo sighs as he joins us. "I love sex more than any of that."

"Cheers!" Masaomi grins as he drinks. Kadota and Saburo frown at him.

"How come you all have drinks and we don't?" Kadota pouts.

"Because we ordered them, dumbass." Erika says.

As they continue their friendly exchange of insults, my eyes wander around the bar. The live music has stopped, and has been replaced by the speakers above our table. A red head marches past us, and I freeze at the sight of her. She stops and turns.

"...Hibiya?"

Our table goes deathly quiet as they all look between her and me.

"...Mika..."

She flings herself into me, squealing happily. I forget momentarily that I hate her, and hug her back.

"Oh, how _are _you? You look great~! Seiji has been talking about you recently! He thought...you know, since you disappeared... Ah, and take this!" she hisses suddenly, whacking me on the arm.

"Ow! What the hell?" I whine, rubbing my arm.

"That's for dropping out! What were you thinking? You only had a few months left before graduation!"

"Mika, I _hated _it there. Could you not tell?"

"Well... I could tell... But still! I'm mad about it! I never got to say goodbye!"

She huffs at me before she looks around the table at all the wide eyes on her.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" she wails to them. "I'm Mika Harima! I went to school with Hibiya!"

"Well, small world." Kadota grins, looking her up and down.

"Are you still with Seiji?" I ask her pointedly.

"Who's asking?" a deep voice says from behind her. My blood runs cold at the sound of it. I know that voice.

He still has the same spiky hair from when we were in school. He's more built than he used to be. His face pales when he settles his eyes on me. I imagine mine looks the same.

"H-Hibiya? My God, is that you?"

"...Hello, Seiji." I say quietly. Delic looks uncomfortable, like he doesn't know if I'm in danger or not. I guess I'm making it look pretty bad, based on my actions. What Seiji does next makes it look even worse.

He yanks me out of my seat and pulls me against him. Then, he lifts me and swings me around.

"I thought you were dead!" he laughs like it's a joke. He sets me down and laughs again at the glare I send him.

"Well, I'm so glad you both thought I was dead. Do me a favor and spread that rumor so everyone else thinks that too." I huff.

"No way, man! I was so... I mean... I thought you know... That it was somehow my fault..." Seiji says quietly.

"Your fault?"

"I said...some really mean things to you... I thought about it all the time after you left. I mean... I never really knew whether or not I helped you... But I always thought I just made it worse. What kind of asshole tells a suicide case they're dead already?"

Fuck. My. Life.

I glance at the table again, knowing their eyes are on me. Delic looks like he was just told I'm really a ghost and was never really with him. I decide that it can't be helped, and I'll tell him later.

"No... You were right. It was what I needed to hear." I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I wish you hadn't said that in front of my friends..." I add.

"Friends?" Seiji asks in surprise like he just noticed I was sitting with people. "You...have friends..."

"...Yes? It's not a big-"

He pulls me into another hug, lifting me with one arm and pumping his other fist in the air.

"Fuck yeah!" he shouts, causing a scene in the worst way. "My old pal over here has made a new life for himself!"

"Seiji!"  
Most people raise their glasses and drink, shouting happily. Silly drunk people.

"I'd say that calls for a song!" he continues, making the entire place clap and cheer.

"_And _my dear friend is singing with me!"

The roar is deafening now.

"No! NOOOO! Let me go!" I shout, desperately trying to get out of his grasp. Mika claps beside us.

"Oh, I haven't heard him sing in forever~!"

"I never sing!" I hiss at her. Stupid bimbo!

"Ah, yes you do. You used to get entirely shit faced and sing all the time. It was actually pretty good, despite your words being slurred." Seiji says.

"I wanna hear you sing~!" Masaomi cuts in.

"I don't want to! Delic!" I whine. He starts to reach for me, but Erika stops him.

"No way! You're not ruining this for me, blondie! I wanna hear him too!"

Is it just me, or do Erika and Masaomi share the same one track mind?

Delic looks at me sheepishly, and I know he wants the same thing. Damn it all to HELL!

Seiji tosses me over his shoulder and drags me through the crowd, though I'm kicking and whining the whole time. When we get to the stage, a sudden realization dawns over me.

"W-Wait... This was _your _band playing here?" I ask.

"Of course. We play here all the time." he says with a grin on his face.

"I never knew you sang."

"I don't just sing. I write our music, and play the guitar too." he blinks like a sudden idea just dawned on him. "You know how to read music, right?"

"...Maybe..."

"Can you still play the violin?"

"Yes..."

"Perfect~!" he grabs me and tugs me to the center of the stage, where everyone is looking. He grabs the microphone and gets them to be quiet.

"We're going to play a new song I recently wrote. Hope you all enjoy!"

They scream in excitement, and I scream in terror.

"Seiji, I haven't played in forever really! I mean... I don't want to-"

"It'll be fine, alright? C'mon, live a little."

Live a little... From the man who once told me I was dead. Could it be that I have a point to make to him? Is that why...my fear went away?

"You're on, Yagiri." I smirk. He returns it, clapping me on the back before he picks up his guitar and his band mates take their place behind him. He hands me a violin from his case.

"I haven't been able to play this song because it has the violin part in it. I wrote it in to make it sound better, but no one besides me can play the guitar well, so I can't play the violin too." he tells me. "It's fate or something that I ran into you tonight."

"Yeah. The Devil has it in for me." I sigh, taking the instrument from him. It's been so long, but my hands automatically go where they're supposed to. He places the sheet of music in front of me.

"Here, look at that while you-"

"Done." I tell him. I've memorized it already.

"...I hate you..."

"It's mutual."

He grins and gives the signal. The sound is _deafening _from right here. His music is like Delic's. It's loud and harmonious all at once. It seeps into your core, and assaults your brain until you have no choice but to sing along. His voice is nothing compared to Delic's, but his music is catchy anyway.

I wait until the guitar blares next to me, and the bass joins in. Then, I start playing.

The noise is so...beautiful. I always enjoyed playing as a child. My parents discontinued my lessons after I seemingly mastered it, because academics were more important. After I learned Spanish fluently, somehow music ceased to be important.

At school, we had a music room. I used to practice in there a lot after classes were over. It always calmed me down to do something productive. Apparently I must have played drunk a few times, because I _never _told Seiji that I play the violin.

Not sober at least.

The crowd goes silent as the sounds start to slow into a sad tune. Seiji looks at me and grins when he approaches the last chorus. He knows I already have it memorized. I glare at him, because I know what he wants. And I know if I refuse, he'll pitch a bitch fit later.

Damn Yagiri blood.

With a quiet threat to him, and a swear of revenge for myself later, I sing with him.

It's one of those things that seems terrifying until you actually do it. Like ripping off a Band-Aid or getting a shot. Singing with him is easy, since I don't really have a choice. Besides, if I refused to sing, I'd have to deal with the wrath of Erika and Masaomi combined.

I'm thinking that'd be like facing a tornado mixed with an asteroid.

The song is a sad one, and I see why he wanted to put a violin in it. When played correctly, a violin is beautifully haunting. The crowd will _definitely _remember this song tonight.

We finish the song, and stop playing together. Suddenly, the silence is broken as they roar in applause. I grin sheepishly at them as the ones up front paw at my feet.

"You're so hot!" a random woman yells from somewhere.

"Hey! He's mine!" someone yells back. "Don't make me smack a hoe!"

Ah, Erika. Already drunk.

Seiji raises my hand in the air, and they roar again. I shift on my feet, not sure what to do. I've never been good in front of people. I'm horribly socially awkward. I cheer to myself when we leave the stage, his band members clapping me on the back as they pass.

I manage to pass everyone trying to assault me with their congratulations, and make it back to my table. Mika has been with them this whole time, probably being grilled by Erika about how Seiji and I know each other.

They cheer at me when I arrive, Erika getting up to glomp me. Delic is standing by the booth with an awestruck look on his face. The same one he's been wearing when he looks at me, but more...intense. As soon as Erika releases me, he's pulling me into his arms.

"You..." he growls, "Are _mine _when we get home."

"Ahhh... Aren't I always yours?" I purr as I gaze up at him. His hands caress my face, and he kisses me hungrily. I hear Erika cheer and Mika gasp.

"Heh. I knew you looked a little too pretty to be straight." Seiji grins at me as we part. Delic shoots him a glare. I understand why Delic would be jealous. I'll have to explain to him that Seiji and I have a weird dynamic, but that the brunette is entirely straight.

"You guessed right." I say as I nuzzle into Delic's neck. He purrs quietly, his eyes still narrowing at Seiji, before he holds me tighter and begins to sway us back and forth.

"You're a little hot again..." he tells me quietly.

"I feel fine right now. My head hurts a little, but it's been hurting since we got here." I say honestly. His lips kiss my forehead.

"Hah... You're always saying my voice is perfect... Chibiya, you were...beautiful up there..."

My heart speeds up at this.

"I sounded alright?"

"Ahhh... So good... I swear, those lights made your eyes glow a little. I could see the gold even from back here... And that violin..."

"Ah, I forgot to tell you I can play that." I say sheepishly.

"Mmmm... The best part was your voice though... Fuck, Chibiya..."

"Delic... I still...want to dance..." I sigh happily as he buries his face in my hair, inhaling deeply.

"Anything you want..."

I grab my drink and down it in one gulp, scowling because it's not vodka. Obviously Erika has been told by Delic that I'm not supposed to drink it anymore... After it's gone, I drag Delic to the floor, wrapping my arms around his neck. His hands go to my waist.

Our eyes lock together, and he leans our foreheads together again. We're moving slightly to the music, and somewhere in the back of my mind, I'm grateful that it's a slow song. Even if it was fast, we would dance this way. I only want him to keep holding me.

He leans in to kiss me slowly as we sway, and I moan as I open my mouth for him. It seems different from our normal kisses. He's being so gentle... Even his fingers dipping into my waistband seem more gentle than usual. I swirl our muscles together, gripping him desperately.

I love him... I love him, I love him, I love him!

I don't deserve him, but I love him.

He continues to hold me close as we make our way back to the table. I pause at what I see.

Erika is nursing a bottle of whiskey, murmuring sweet nothings to it like it's her lover. Mikado and Masaomi are in a conversation about something, sharing a drink. Seiji is grinning at me while Mika is ranting about something... Kadota and Saburo are kissing heatedly.

"Um... Delic?" I ask.

"It's fine. They always do this." he grins. "They get drunk, have sex, and then pretend it never happened the next day."

"Ah, okay." I say, glad that they're not going to regret it at least. I like how our group seems to not have any tension in it right now, and I want to keep it that way.

Delic's arms resume holding me from behind now, and his mouth goes to my ear.

"I want to get you home..." he says quietly.

"Mmmm? Do you want me that badly right now~?"

"Heh... Yeah, but also...you're burning up again..." he says as he rests his chin on my shoulder. "I don't want you to get as bad as you were..."

"Ah... Now that you mention it, I do feel a little bad again... Just let me say my goodbyes..." I say.

He still holds me as we bid everyone farewell. I don't think Kadota and Saburo heard us, but they'll figure it out when they resume breathing. Seiji gives me his number, despite Delic's constant glaring at him. The blonde turns to go, pulling me with him, but I stop him.

"Seiji... I... Do you still...think I'm dead?" I ask quietly, afraid of his answer.

He gives me a look of sympathy, then it's replaced with a tiny grin.

"I'm proud, Hibiya. You're finally living." he says happily.

And I smile back at him, because I know it's true.

I'm living because of Delic.

* * *

_Sachi: Long update! Whoooo~! This is the longest chapter yet!_

_Hibiya: Are you aware that it took you 3 hours to type this?_

_ Sachi: I kept getting distracted... The television was playing funny things...and Toki sat on my laptop...and I had to get my Red Bull..._

_ Delic: Red Bull? With no vodka?_

_ Sachi: I didn't have any! Meh! Anywho, review for my love~! I'm off until Tuesday, so you should expect an earlier update if I get to...260 reviews. We're already up to 250~!_

_ Hibiya: Are you going to tell them...?_

_ Delic: I think they should know..._

_ Sachi: No. I'm not telling of the smut in the next chapter. Nor am I telling that it's the long awaited scene I've been getting harassed about._

_ Hibiya: ..._

_Delic: I think you just did..._

_Sachi: ...FUCK! Now I want to get to 265__,__ or else no smut for any of us! If I get to 270… I'll update tomorrow~! (I plan on making this next chapter EPIC, my little lovelies~!_

_(My threats are as non-existent as Celty's head...but review anyway, because you love me~?)_


	24. Chapter 24

_Oh dear... Last chapter got the MOST reviews of any chapter. I have no idea why... (sarcasm at its finest.) Say what you want about whoring out for reviews, it works! Haha, really though, I don't care about the numbers. I mean, they make me SO HAPPY, don't get me wrong, but really, I just love hearing your feedback. I don't write just to write, I write to entertain you as well as myself. And the fact that you all like it so much just... THANK YOU! Honestly, you guys are all so amazing~! I worked really hard on this scene for you. I tried smut but... I ended up with romance instead. So you can guess where this chapter will end up... I put off this scene so long because after this is when the angst starts. I LOVE angst, haha, but they've been so happy in lala land that I've been putting it off. However, it's going to have to happen eventually. SO, I'm making this chapter as epic as I can. We may have a few more fluffy chapters after this, or I may go straight into the angst. It just depends. Before that though, here's my love I owe you for giving me 20 reviews in less than 24 hours~! __Logic Dive__, I had lack of sleep from typing it! So we match! __Koolaidshipping__, I'm so glad you love it! I love YOU! __XxTeddybearshooterxX__, yeah, I'm trying my hand at Boss!Kado. I'm not sure when he'll rear his ugly head, but he will. __S. Oyabun__, you're awesome too! I'm glad you think so! __erihan__, it's not THAT nasty... I gotta say, when it comes to hard alcohol, I like whiskey, but I really drink to get drunk if I'm drinking hard shit. I think it all tastes bad, lol. I love wine the best. LOVE it! So naturally, I like Sake too! Love you too! __TooLazyToLogin__, "are you a hooker?" ...If I was, would you pay me~? Hahahaha, I'm more of a...tease...and a sadist. But, I don't get paid for it...so I'm not a hooker sadly. I can dream though! Seriously, I love you too! Like I said, the reviews make me happy, but I'll update regardless. Thank you for your support, and the hooker thing made me laugh. I enjoy a crazy review. __BlueRoseDream__, bipolar weather? I hear you... In this state, it's different every day too. I hope you get to catch this chapter in another wi-fi zone. __KarkadeVantas__, THANK YOU SO MUCH~! It makes me happy you think I can write well! __aurorage__, haha, they ARE like a big awkward family~! Thanks for wishing my health to return. I spent most of today asleep, so I'm feeling pretty good right now. __incidentalmusic__, I saw that you got an account! Muahahaha, I knew you'd join~! Calling me a sadist again? *sigh* It's true... Fic request you say? Lay it on me! __FallingforWerewolves__, I'm thinking it could destroy worlds... __Guest__, you love them all! Lol, here's you some lemon-ade! __Braverly-Homunculus__, thank you for saying so! I have more stories cooking up in my warped little mind~! __Marshmallows Rule The World__, stopping a truck with his bare hands...? That would break his little delicate hands! Eternal worship? LIKE A GOD~! Eh... I'm not Izaya-like just yet... (I need to purchase a pedestal to carry with me in random places.) __Ganne200__, I prefer him OOC too! I mean, regular Hibi-chan is adorable and brat-like. I keep those factors in him I think. He is a MAJOR brat in this story, lol. That's going to become more apparent as we go~. __Guest 2__, I'm not ending it any time soon! Trust me, we have a LONG way to go! I'm so glad you like it! __Maru de Kusanagi__, thanks! I'm trying to make it beautiful love! __Rai Rai Blue__, I'm glad you think I'm a mastermind! Haha, getting pneumonia was worth it because I got to be lazy for...a day? I got tired of sitting around and decided to go ride bikes...which didn't help... Haha, plus my parents were nice to me during that time. So, score! __tsukicchan__, smut? SMUT? Well my friend, YOUR review has made me reach my mark! Now that we're at 270, I'll post this as soon as I'm done! Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing! Time for the long awaited scene! I love you all~! Now, ON WITH MAH STORY!_

* * *

_Rain, Rain_

When we step outside, the stars are covered. Delic hisses as he looks up.

"Shit... We're not going to make it..." he says.

"We're going to get rained on?" I ask, also looking up. When he nods, I grin.

"What is it with you and rain?" he asks me as he wraps his hand in mine. "You get so excited about it."

"I never got to play in the rain as a kid..." I tell him. He glances at me.

"What did you do?"

"As a kid? I...learned about different languages, attended business meetings, learned to dance, and took violin lessons." I count on my free hand. "Of course, this was all before Mairu came along. After she was born I spent most of my time in her room. It helped me have a few nights without Father."

I hear Delic sigh quietly.

"Chibiya... I just... How do you still..."

"Wake up every day?"

"I wasn't going to say that, but it'll work."

"I just always hoped for something better. After Mairu was born, I lived for her. When I was sent away... I stopped trying, Delic. Seiji and Mika knew me during that time, and I must say, I'm simply _shocked_ that they reacted to me as warmly as they did. I was...a zombie in those days."

His hand squeezes mine, and we both feel the first few drops of rain fall.

"Shit..." he says again. I laugh at him.

Within moments, it's pouring down on us. Delic curses again, and glances to me. I have my head tilted back so it's falling on my face.

"You're going to get sicker!" he says loudly over the downpour.

"It's worth it..." I sigh happily.

It's moments like this... Moments where I can be a kid again, even if only for a few minutes. These make me want to remain alive. Sharing them with Delic is just...even better.

"Chibiya..."

"Mmm?"

"What that spiky-haired guy said...about you being a suicide case..." he stops walking and I face him. "You really...?"

"Delic... I have tried many times to try and kill myself."

His hands move to my face, and he leans into me. The rain has both of us soaked by now, and it's running down our faces. His eyes are pained.

"Why would you..."

"If my own parents hated me, what reason did I have to live? It started when I was...10. After Mairu. I decided to leave everything to her. I decided...she would be better than me..."

"Chibiya..."

"I never cut myself or anything. I really didn't like pain that much. So I started to...put myself in bad situations. I tried to cause accidents. Once, in the limo with Mother I...tried to open the back door and fall out. I failed, of course. I almost jumped out of my window, but I was caught every time I tried... When Seiji stopped me, it was at the end of my 3 years spent in an alcoholic coma. I can't tell you much about my time as a student, because I was never sober. He caught me trying to stab myself."

Delic makes a choked noise.

"Haha, it's fine. I failed, obviously. He yelled at me, and told me I was already dead. He was right. I was dead. I dropped out that morning, and moved in with my grandparents. I got relatively sober, and tried to start over. I couldn't do it there though...so I moved here."

"I'm...so sorry..." he says as he pulls me against him.

"Delic, why the hell are you sorry? Do you have _any _idea...what I owe you?"

"You don't owe me anything..."

I pull away to look into his eyes.

"You've given me a reason to live..."

His eyes widen as he looks at me.

"I wake up every day...because of..." I cut off and stare at our feet. His hand goes under my chin, and he forces me to look up at him. His lips attach to mine, and we lose ourselves in a heated kiss right in the middle of the storm.

Wordlessly, he begins to pull me toward the apartment again. Every couple of steps, he stops to kiss me again. We're not making very good time, but his hands on me are all I can feel. Maybe because the rain is really cold...?

Finally, we reach the outside of his building. He opens the front door and I hiss as he pushes me into a wall and devours my mouth.

"Delic..."

He lifts me so my legs go around his waist, and his hands grope my ass. He begins to stumble up the stairs because our mouths are still connected. Once we get outside our door, he kicks it open and slams it closed. He throws me on the bed.

"What...are we going to do?" I ask him quietly as he settles between my legs. He smiles at me.

"You're ready." he says as he begins to unbuckle my belt.

"You...really think so?" I ask hopefully as he pulls my belt off and undoes my pants. Instead of a response, he tugs them off and presses down on the front of my boxers.

"Ahhhhh~!" I arch into his hand and grip the sheets tightly. The warmth of his palm seems to spread through me, and the room becomes really hot.

"It's...it's hot...in here..." I say quietly as his free hand begins to tug at my shirt. The rain has made my clothes cling to me, so he has to peel them off.

"Yes, it is..." he purrs as he latches to one of my nipples.

"Mmmmm, Delic..." I whine. He's giving me such stimulation I feel like I'm going to burst. "H-How...do you know..."

"That you're ready? Hahhh, Chibiya..._this_," he pushes between my legs harder, causing me to whimper, "This tells me everything I need to know~."

"Nnnn...please...please..."

He pulls his hand away from my crotch and peels the rest of my shirt off. I paw at his clothing, trying to make him remove it. He grins down at me.

"Mmm, you want me?" he asks.

"I want...your clothes off...Delic..."

"I'll give you anything you want." he says, allowing me to pull his shirt over his head. I marvel at his chest, raking my eyes over it slowly. It's so...perfect... My mouth waters at the sight of it.

"Pants..." I whimper. He locks eyes with me and undoes them, pulling them down.

"Do you want these off too?" he asks, hooking his fingers in both of our boxers.

"Yes... Please, Delic..."

He pulls his off first, then very slowly, pulls mine off. His eyes never leave mine. I mewl happily when I feel the restraints leave me.

"You're so beautiful..." he says as his eyes travel down my body. "Chibiya... I want you. I want you worse than I've wanted anything."

"Take me. Take me, please."

"Are you sure...you want this?"

"Need you... I need you inside me..."

He snarls lowly and forces his mouth against mine. He runs his hands down my sides and rests them on my hips. Then, he grinds our bare erections together.

"Ahhhhh!" I moan loudly, shoving mine up against his. "Delic!"

"Fuck..." he sighs blissfully, angling them to grind together again. "It's always...so amazing with you..."

"Delic... Delic I want you..."

He leans down to kiss me again, slowly this time. When he pulls away, he presents me with three fingers.

"I want you to get these good and wet, alright? It'll hurt worse if you don't." he says gently. I open my mouth for them, and I lick them teasingly. He purrs quietly and pushes them inside my mouth. I keep my eyes on his and suck them, lathering them in saliva. I feel slight fear when he pulls them out of my mouth.

"Relax. You know I would never hurt you... As soon as you tell me to stop, I will." he whispers against my lips.

"I know..."

He kisses me again, sucking on my tongue in the most delicious way. I feel one of his fingers against my entrance, and I wince when I feel it push inside.

"Mmnnn..." I hiss. He kisses me harder to try and distract me.

It feels...weird. Not bad, but not good. It's intrusive and...wet... My eyes fly open when he pulls it out slightly and shoves it back in.

"Ahhhh..." I breathe as I pull away from him.

"Is it alright?" he asks.

"Weird..."

He grins and shoves it back in. As soon as I get used to it, he enters another one. My hands grip the sheets as he scissors them. It's starting to sting a little...

"God, you're so...warm..." he sighs. "Feels amazing..."

"This...is going to hurt...isn't it?" I ask quietly as the stinging gets worse. He looks at me sadly.

"At first. I promise it gets better. Do you want me to stop?"

"No! No... I just...wanted to prepare myself..."

He shakes his head and kisses me again as he shoves the last one in. I whimper at the feeling. It _hurts_.

"Nnnnnghh! D-Delic..." my eyes clench shut.

"I'm sorry..." he says gently. He starts to work his fingers quicker with a frown on his face. He bites his lip in frustration and curls them upwards.

That's when I see white.

"Mmmmm, God!" I shout, arching against him. Suddenly, his fingers feel amazing. His face lights up, and a grin covers his features.

"Found it..." he whispers, shoving his fingers toward whatever he just hit again.

"Ahhh...Ahhhhh~" I whine, rolling my hips to meet his slick digits. He begins to slam them in and out of my body, driving them in further each time.

"Delic! Delic..." I grab his hair and run my fingers through it. "Please...No more..."

"I need to prepare you more... I don't want to hurt you..."

"It's fine... Sometimes, it's fine if it hurts... That's living..." I say breathlessly. Seiji's words come back to me from that night so long ago. "I don't care if it hurts...as long as I'm yours..."

His eyes widen again and he pulls his fingers out of me.

"You... You're always mine... Fuck, you're all mine..." he says quietly.

"Make me yours..." I coax.

He positions against my entrance. I nod at him, preparing for the pain I know is about to come. He starts to push in, and I can't help the cries of pain that leave me.

"Nnnn...hurts...hurts..." I whimper. He bites his bottom lip and sheathes himself in me. His features settle into a pained frown, and he leans his sweaty forehead against mine, forcing our gazes to meet. He's looking at me hungrily, his eyes full of…

Full of…

"I…won't move…until you tell me to…" he breathes. He pulls one hand away from my hip and caresses my face. Our breath mingles in the air between our faces.

"Move…" I whisper. His face stays in front of mine, but his hips pull away from me.

Then, they meet mine again.

"Hahhhhh…" I wince. It feels…slightly better. I don't know the correct terminology for it. I feel really full.

"You… You're so tight…" he sighs, rolling his hips again. "Feels so good…"

Then it hits me. We're finally doing this. Finally, he's making me his. It's so wonderful…so fucking wonderful, that it hits me all once, and builds until it streams down my face.

"Why are you crying…?" he asks me in alarm. "Does it still hurt?"

"N-No… I'm just… I'm so happy…" I tell him. "I've wanted…to do this for you…"

He chuckles quietly. He resumes in holding my hips.

"You know…why we couldn't before…" he says. It's not a question, but I don't know the answer. I have no clue why he wanted to wait so long.

"N-No… I don't…" I tell him, my voice breaking as his hips pick up pace again.

"I never…wanted to just…fuck you…" he hisses, driving in and out with such force it makes me pant like an animal.

"Ahhhhh…Nnnnnn…" My legs wrap around his waist, driving him further in. My eyes fly open when he hits the spot inside of me his fingers were hitting earlier.

"Delic! Ohhhh, there…please…" I moan. His hands move to my thighs, and he pulls them up a little so he's making my ankles meet behind his head.

"I… I've never…done this…before…" he continues. His lips find mine, and he kisses me sloppily.

"Wha- But…you're…a nympho…" I say, arching into him when he slams in particularly hard, making me see stars.

"Heh… Not what I mean…" he laughs. His voice ends in a shaky moan, and I open my eyes to see his expression.

His eyes are filled with that look again, but they're also filled with tears.

"Delic?"

"I've never…"

He cuts himself short as he picks up pace again.

"Ahhhhhhhh, Delic! Delic…Del…" I cry, yanking his hair as the wonderful feeling comes over me. All I can say is his name.

"Chibiya… I've never…made love…before now…" he whimpers, burying his face in my neck as I reach my climax.

"Delic! Hahhhhhh… Nnnnn~…" I lose myself in the pleasure, not even aware of the tears streaming down my face. He kisses my neck, his jaw going lax when he joins me in the oblivion I've found myself in.

"Love…Love…you…" he whimpers again and again. I mewl as he reaches his limit, finishing inside of me. It feels incredible… My toes curl behind his head before he falls against me.

I can't even find my voice anymore. We're so gone over the edge of depravity; all I can do is kiss every bit of him I can reach. I sob as he meets my gaze again. He's crying too, though not as noticeably as me.

"I…love you… Chibiya… Christ, I love you…so much…" he says. Our lips meet continuously as we come down from our cloud.

"Delic…"

He pulls out of me and kisses me again as we both moan from the feeling. His fingers lace around mine.

"I've loved you…for so long…" I cry, untangling our fingers so I can throw my arms around his neck. "Delic… Oh, Delic! You're everything…to me…"

His face lights up again.

I don't deserve him. I don't deserve him at all. Even if he can never be mine, I'll always be his.

Even if that thought hurts me, it's fine. Because sometimes, life hurts. Sometimes it's painful. That's fine… It's all alright… As long as Delic wants me, it's fine…

He's the only reason I'm alive.

* * *

_Sachi: This was a very fluffy sex scene. Eh, we've been building toward this though. We all knew they were going to make love._

_ Hibiya: So… What's left in this? We've had sex now…_

_ Delic: *content*_

_ Sachi: Ah, my little prince, we have much left~! The band, the parents, the friends, the music, Mairu… We shall answer them all eventually~! I hope you all enjoyed this scene! I tried hard to capture their emotions!_

_Delic: Wait… What are we talking about?_

_ Sachi: *sighs*_

_ Hibiya: Forgive him, he's got a one track mind._

_ Sachi: Review, for they make me ultra-happy and give me an excuse to write! I love all of you~!_

_ Delic: Eh? We're done?_

_ Hibiya: …_


	25. Chapter 25

_I gotta say, getting reviews that say things like "worship" and "in love with" make me giddy! I feel like one of those writers that drive the hybrid cars and always have coffee and the fans stand outside the library screaming "OMIGAHHHHH! I WANT YOUR SKIN!" Or something along those lines. Long story short, I love you! Hah, I like to beat around the bush with what I try to say. Or I get distracted. I forget. Anywho~ on to my awesome love for you! (we're getting close to 300 now! 300 like the movie! THIS IS A FANFICTION!) __Shiroi Hana__, dude! I've been wondering where you were! Of course you would show up for the smut. You dirty minded nymph! I'm glad you're back~! __KoolaidShipping__, you're crying? Yay! I mean...that's what I was aiming for...or something less weird... I love you too ms. loyal fan! __TooLazyToLogin__, cherries? I'll be a hooker for cherries! But I'm pretty intense so...you're warned. I love you too! Crazy personality? Someone told me that at work today but they said "ridiculous"... I think I'm fun! __nazupii__, ah, let me return this... I LOVE YOOOOOOU TOOOOOOOO! __S. Oyabun__, I get 200 thumbs? YES! I can add to my collection! __Guest 1__, I thought it worked better for them to make love too. Sex seemed too...blah at this point. So I shoved so much emotion in there that it made it impossible to ignore! __Guest 2__, oh dear this was a very long review... I love it! 100 chapters? Ah, I wish! If I could stretch it that long, I would! I'm glad you loved my smut scene! I LOVE YOU TOO! __BlueRoseDream__, I love rain too! So, I decided to make Hibi-chan love the rain too. I suppose he'll like it much more now, ne? *wink* __Rai Rai Blue__, ah, Mondays do suck... I'm glad I made yours better! Ice cream does sound good... __darkestlight96__, thank you! Cute Is What I Aim For! (like the band, hehe.) __Guest 3__, I've been called a dude, and a bro! I'm so glad you liked it, brostache! Hehehehehe, you've been called a brostache! __Guest 4__, you're my motivation? Oh good! My stories make fans live? Oh dear…guess I need to writer then! __MitsukiMakara__, I'm, SO happy you love it so far! Haha, thank you for thinking I'm an amazing writer! __Cael Luciano__,__ you wish you could favorite it again? That's such a mega compliment! __Ganne200__, haha you described the vibe I was going for. "Awwwwww~!" and "HOOOOOT!" I'm so glad to have awesome reviewers! You guys are the best! Now, on with the aftermath of the sex scene! Huzzah!_

* * *

_After_

Love is a strange emotion. It can build, or it can destroy. It can make a man feel 10 feet tall, or cut him down to the quick.

In the Orihara household, "I love you" was a rare occurrence.

Hibiya's mother told him once, after she had hit him. He was reprimanded for arguing with her about Mairu. Why? The woman didn't know Mairu hated garlic, and tried to force feed the young child garlic bread. After he was slapped, she gave him a curt hug and told him she loved him, and not to argue anymore.

Hibiya's father...told him often. Of course it was in a way that made the young boy feel like dirt, but he knew his father loved him. That's what it was until he got older. Then he realized his father's love was far from genuine. Hibiya knew his father never loved him.

Mairu told him every 5 seconds. It was good for him to hear, but of course she would love him. Who else did she have to love?

Family love is something that seems...required. Hibiya tried to love them, truly he did. The only one he loved was Mairu. She was...the only one who deserved it.

The feeling of love...is foreign to those who haven't felt it before, or had it directed at them. It can be terrifying and beautiful all at once.

Hibiya...never thought he would have it. Why would he? He was ruined. No one in their right mind could love him...right?

* * *

I wake up feeling extremely warm. The room is still dark. I reach for my phone and flip it to check the time. It's 6 am... So why is it dark...?

Then, I hear it. The steady pounding on the roof. It's so calming...

Delic is wrapped around me like a blanket. His breath is blowing on my neck...which is bare. I frown as I look down.

We're both...completely naked...

Suddenly, I feel much warmer. I really... WE really...

Delic told me he loves me... I told him I love him. We made love over and over. No wonder I'm tired!

I look down again at the various marks on my skin. Delic left a map of _exactly _where his mouth was last night. There are bruises going down my chest, and I know they're probably leading up to my neck.

I roll over, the motion making Delic groan and pull me closer. He's still asleep though. I run my fingers over his face, along his jaw line, and rest them on his lips. He grins slightly and kisses them, his hand sneaking from under the covers to grab mine.

"Morning..." he says.

"Mmmmmm." I agree. His eyes open, and another smile creeps across his face.

"Chibiya... Last night was...perfect..." he says. Another blush creeps over my skin, and I'm certain he can feel it since we're so close right now.

"More than perfect. I couldn't have wished for a better...first time..."

"And second. And third." he grins impishly.

"If you want a fourth, you'll stop teasing me." I inform him.

"There you go again..."

"What?"

"Pouting. You do that all the time."

"I'm not pouting!"

"You are too!" he laughs, his hand grabbing my face and squishing it so I make a morbid expression. He laughs harder.

"Delic!" I whine, wriggling out of his grasp. Now I pout on purpose. His hands move to my face again as he observes me thoughtfully.

"You're so cute~." he says.

"And you're a jerk."

"Heh. I try."

"Remind me why I love you again?"

His face lights up at the words. I hope he always acts like this when I say that to him. He's looking at me like I just gave him the world.

"Because I love you." he says as his hands move to my hips.

"Ahhh, right. That's why." I lean forward to kiss him, which he immediately deepens. His hands travel _again._ That's what I get for being in love with a sex addict though. He's truly insatiable.

"Delic..." I moan quietly into his mouth as he rolls on top of me. "You...you want to go...again?"

"Mmmm, yeah..." he groans as he bites my lip. "But we can't today."

"Why?"

"Haha, you actually look sad about it. No, we can't because you're going to be sore."

"I'm not sore." I huff.

"Have you stood up?"

"...Not yet..."

"Exactly. After a while, it gets easier. But...I went a little overboard last night, so I'm afraid you may be bedridden all day~."

"No way. I have work."

"You're still warm though." he informs me as his lips latch to my neck.

"Delic..."

"You're getting hard already."

"Because you're naked and on top of me!"

"I can't help it that you want me nonstop." he grins.

"I-wha... Delic!"

He starts laughing at me _again_. Why am I a joke to this man? I kick my legs and try to scoot out from under him, but a sudden sharp pain shoots up my spine and makes me freeze in my tracks.

"Nnnghhh..." I hiss quietly.

"There it is." he sighs. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? I begged for it." I laugh. "In fact..." I force my hips against his. "I may beg for it again."

"Chibiya, no." he says sternly.

"I think this is the first time in history that a nymphomaniac has turned down sex."

"Heh. Consider it a compliment. It means I want you for more than sex."

We stare at each other, neither of us saying a word. His hands move from my hips, and back to my face. He's looking at me with that look again. The one where his eyes are full of…

Full of…

Love.

"Delic… I…thank you." I tell him sincerely. He gives me his famous stare.

"Thanks for what?"

"Making my life perfect. Worth living. Having sex with me even though I'm ruined." I shrug, snaking my arms around his neck to pull him closer. He growls at me.

"If you keep saying that, I'll consider punishing you."

"I'm counting on that~." I grin.

He kisses me again, and for a moment, I'm certain he's about to bypass his rule about having sex again, until my alarm goes off. We both jump at the shrill sound of it, and I curse quietly because it means I have to get dressed now.

I roll out from under Delic, well aware his eyes are on me the entire time. I pull on some clothes, wincing from the pain below. Maybe I can get used to it later today. I have to stand up all day, so I really hope so. After I'm finished, I turn to him again.

"Alright, I have to go now." I sigh. "I'll wake you up when I get home."

It's awful that we're back to our old routine. I go to work while he sleeps, get home and wake him up so he can go to work while I sleep. I take solace in the fact that he now has 2 days off a week.

He reaches his hand out, and I take the hint and walk into his grasp. Delic pulls me back down onto the mattress and kisses me gently.

"If you feel sick, come home. I don't want to get called again to hear about how you passed out." He says as he runs his fingers down my back. I lean down and nuzzle into his neck. I know he loves it when I do this.

"I'll be home as soon as I can…" I purr under his jaw. He tilts his head so my lips touch his chin.

"Chibiya… I love you." He says.

"I love you too."

We kiss one last time before I leave him, hoping he'll get some sleep before his shift tonight. When I walk out of our apartment, my phone vibrates.

_[I'm so hung over.] _It's from Seiji.

_[I'm not.] _I send.

_[You only had one drink. It doesn't count!]_

_ [It counts. You're just mad that I handle alcohol better than you~.]_

I walk to the coffee shop with no reply. I figure to myself that Seiji probably came to his senses and went back to sleep. I wouldn't be up this early unless I had to be. My whole theory is void when he texts me again.

_[I can't believe you've turned everything around. I never thought I'd see the day that you would know how to regulate alcohol.]_

I frown at the screen. Was I really that bad back in high school? Yes… I was. I know that. I didn't have a way back then to control my emotions, so I just tried to block them out.

Have I changed? I mean, how often do I actually try to work on my problems? Never… I just try to pretend they're nonexistent. It's easier that way.

_[I haven't learned to regulate it. I just try not to drink when I can. I get crazy when I'm drunk.]_

Deborah greets me warmly, and I start my shift on a pretty high note. Delic and I made love, I'm off tomorrow since it's Sunday, and things are getting better.

They're better, right?

Of course they'd have to be. I never, in my whole life, thought I would find someone willing to look past my problems and love me. Delic is truly a saint if he can love me. He loves me despite my hatred for myself. I'm broken from my thoughts as my phone vibrates again.

_[Still. I'm proud of you. I'm just glad my harsh words didn't kill you. I thought they did for a long time.]_

Ah, Seiji. Still blaming himself for my insecurities. Same as Delic.

_[No one will kill me, Seiji.]_ I send.

It's true after all. No one can kill me right now when I'm so on top of the world.

No one except myself.

* * *

_Sachi: I know it's short, alright? I did what I could right now!_

_ Hibiya: Why can't you type?_

_ Delic: Yeah, Sachi. How many glasses of wine did you just drink?_

_ Sachi: …Less than 5…_

_ Hibiya: *smacks self*_

_ Sachi: I regret nothing!_

_ Delic: Review for plot development! This is sort of a calm before the storm chapter I think… Thanks for supporting us regardless of our unreliable author!_

_ Sachi: :( I do my best, dammit!_


	26. Chapter 26

_My. Day. Sucked. ASS! I know, I know, I got drunk last night so I'm partially to blame, right? NO! I wasn't even hung over. My day sucked because I woke up to find our back door open due to the dog pushing it open because my niece didn't close it all the way. Why is this bad you ask? Because Toki escaped again. He's an inside cat that's never truly been outside except for last time my sister left the door open. So I had to go outside and halfway crawl under our filthy house to save his kitty ass and then I had to give him a bath. My sister is going through a very emotional time, which is why we got drunk last night. My method of therapy is to do whatever makes her happy, which usually ends up making me either non-sober or in bad situations... It paid off though, because she was fine when she went to work, and Toki and I took a nap, so I thought all was well. Then, my sister calls me later in hysterics saying she lost her job due to bogus things she didn't even do. So now, we have to figure out how the hell we're going to pay our bills. I decided to use my state of depression to add another chapter, because it's better for me to do something productive, or I'll do something stupid. UGH. I tell you all of this to tell you that your reviews were the only good thing about my day. Thank you so much, I needed those. Now, on to my promised love. __Guest 1__, I'm glad you thought they were cute! As for the Seiji/Hibiya friendship, don't worry about it. I'm working with the Seiji we were first introduced to in the manga. You know, the nice guy who was a little obsessed with love, but was good looking and wished Masaomi and Mikado luck in picking up women? He's a bit unresponsive to authority, but he's going to be a good friend to Hibi-chan in this story. JUST friends though, haha. See, my friends and I have really strange dynamics too, which is what I'm basing theirs off of. __KarkadeVantas__, you made your friend review? Haha, awesome! I love you too, my dear~! The art of being awesome you say? Um... My advice would be to say what you want to say, and worry about the consequences later. (that's what I do, but it gets me in trouble.) On second thought...don't do that. __Braverly-Homunculus__, you die without updates? Ha, I guess I need to write more then! __MitsukiMakara__, I'm only a fast updater sometimes. See, I type really fast, so these chapters usually only take an hour or two. I'm so glad you love the story! I hear your friend pushed it on you...(give them a hug for me, and one for yourself~) I love you too! __Ganne200__, you read the whole chapters with goofy grins on your face? That's so awesome! If your face sticks like that, it'll be a conversation starter at least. __BlueRoseDream__, yay for cuteness skyrocketing! __KoolaidShipping__, if you jump up and down when I update, it means I'm doing a good job! Thanks for the compliments~! __Marshmallows Rule The World__, I get an Izaya plushie? R-Really? *sobs* HECK YES! You can have Delic for a night, if you can convince Hibi-chan~! I love you too! __Burning-Petals__, I've been trying to decide when the angst will enter... People have been telling me to make this fic really long, so I'm putting it off a little bit longer. I'll warn you when it's starting though~! __TooLazyToLogin__, cherry tree you say? Heh, sounds like a plan! Are you saying I'm crazy or unique...? I prefer to think of myself as...eccentric. That's a nice way of saying it! I think that when I walk into crowds wearing my huge plastic nerd glasses and Adventure Time T-shirts. Hehehehe. __Rai Rai Blue__, no I don't need wine to write! Last night wasn't planned... I had to eat SO MANY crackers to actually be able to type a sentence. I didn't care much for last chapter... I hate fillers. I'm trying to work toward having a little bit of plot development in every chapter. Trying, is the key word. Also, you want Delic and Hibi-chan to suffer? SADIST! Haha, I knew I wasn't alone~! I promise, you won't be disappointed. You know you're the only one who commented on the significance of the last few words of the last chapter? I'm not giving anything away, but when Hibi-chan starts getting in depressed mode, pay close attention to what he says or thinks. Delic too. Ah, once again, thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I could really use your support now, and I'm so thankful that you give it always. I love you! On with the story~!_

* * *

_Lunch_

Deborah has been all over me all day. I don't mean in a bad way, I mean in...a motherly way. It's weird, but at the same time... I really like it.

"Sweetie, are you _sure _you don't need to sit down?" she asks me for the millionth time after breakfast rush.

"Deborah, I'm fine." I grin at her. She pulls me into another hug. I think this makes 7 since I came in.

"I know I'm babying you. I was just so scared yesterday when you passed out..." she tells me.

I hug her back and rub her back soothingly. Is this what it's like to have a mother? I mean... I had my grandmother, but she was never too physical with me. We really just talked a lot, which was what I thought I needed at the time. My parents never really talked to me.

Deborah though... She's so caring of me. It amazes me that I have so many people now that care for me. It used to be that I could count on one finger who care for me. That finger was Mairu.

Now I have Erika, Kadota, Saburo, Walker, Deborah, Seiji, Mika (even though I don't like her much) and Delic. Delic, Delic, Delic. He gets a million votes.

I've never been so...loved before. Is this how it feels to matter to people? Is this how it feels to know that someone would be truly saddened if I never woke up again?

What's even more foreign to me...is feeling love for them in return. I don't mind it anymore when they hug me affectionately. It doesn't faze me when Erika throws herself all over me. I can't imagine a world where Delic knew how to keep his hands to himself, nor can I imagine one where I wanted him to.

I feel, for the first time in my life, that things are going well for me.

I've prepared for the consequences of Mairu. If she _is _dead...I need to decide how I'm going to deal with that. I've been putting it out of my mind. If it's something worse... That's what will destroy me. I know you're wondering what can be worse than death, but there are many things. I just...don't want to imagine them right now. Okay, so I haven't prepared for the consequences... Sue me.

"Your face is still warm." Deborah says, breaking me from my thoughts. I smile at her.

"Yes, I forgot an umbrella last night. I was caught in the rainstorm."

"Why were you out anyway? As sick as you were... Dear, you needed to rest!"

"I did rest. After my visit to the doctor, I slept all day. I went out because...Delic stayed at home with me for 2 days to look after me...so I wanted him to have some fun."

She gives me a very large smile, one that resembles Erika's immensely. It seems my boss is also a fangirl...

"Did you have fun?"

"...I had too much." I say honestly. I'd say the pain in my lower regions can account for that.

It's almost time for my lunch break. Usually, I convince Deborah to let me work through them. Technically, I'm not supposed to work through them, but that's 30 whole minutes off the clock! I'd rather work.

Today though, my plans for lunch are made for me. Deborah and I hear the bell ring, signaling a customer. Seiji Yagiri stalks in, grinning madly at me.

"Seiji? How did you know I worked here?" I ask him as I return his smile.

"Your friend with the brown hair. She was telling me I should pay you a visit last night before she blacked out." Seiji says, pulling a chair up to the counter.

"I do believe you're the most popular employee I've ever had." Deborah says warmly. I suppose I _do _have many visitors at work.

"Isn't it almost lunch time here? Can you go out?" Seiji asks.

"I guess I can... I never have before." I say.

"You can go ahead and go, dear. I can watch things until our next rush." Deborah grins. I take off my apron and fold it behind the counter. Seiji stands up to throw an arm around me when I walk beside him. I trip a little. Seiji is definitely more built than he used to be.

"Alright, Orihara. We're going to a burger joint!" he says enthusiastically.

"Hamburgers? Do you know how unhealthy those are?" I grimace.

"Ah, so sober Hibiya is a health nut."

"I've always been a health nut."

"Except when you were killing your liver."

I scowl at him as we walk across the street. This is the only bad thing about seeing him again. He knows of the old me. The me I never wanted to be.

We step inside and are promptly seated in a booth. Our waitress takes our drink orders. Seiji gets a soda and I order tea. I skim over the menu.

"Burgers...wings... I think everything here will put us in a coma."

"I think I want hot wings instead." Seiji says as he takes a massive gulp of his soda.

I remember Delic's words from my first day with him. He said hot wings were his favorite, as well as beer and sex. I hate beer, but I love sex, so I figure I should try his last favorite.

"Me too." I say, closing the menu. "Just get the big order of them, and we can split them."

"Okay, wait. Hibiya Orihara is having hot wings with me? Do you want beer too?" Seiji laughs.

"Ew, no. I hate beer. Delic loves it though." I shrug.

"Delic? Is he the one you were swallowing last night?"

How did he know... Oh! He means when we were kissing. Ha, that could've been an awkward moment. If you're confused, let me clarify. After Delic and I finished for the third time, we took a shower together. He didn't want to have sex in the shower because he said three times was enough, so I tried my hand at giving him a blow job.

I'm not great at it, but he came, so it counts.

"Yes."

"I've gotta say, I never thought you'd be in a relationship with a man."

"I mean... I don't know if it's a relationship... We're just kind of...seeing each other..." I mumble. He cocks an eyebrow as the waitress comes back to take our orders. When she leaves, he turns back to me.

"Well, do you love him?" he asks.

"Yes..."

"Does he love you?"

"...He says he does..."

"And have you had sex?"

"Seiji!" My face heats up and I try to hide it by taking an abnormally long drink of my tea.

"I'm taking that as a yes." he grins. "Sounds to me like he's your lover."

"Lover?"

"Yup. I think that's what the gay community calls it." he shrugs.

The waitress appears with our wings at this moment. They're not busy, so it makes service faster. Seiji winks at her when she offers to refill our drinks.

"So. You and Mika? Why?" I ask as I try to figure out a sanitary way to eat this concoction of chicken and hot sauce.

"What do you mean, 'why'?" he grins, taking one with his bare hands, dipping it in ranch, and shoving it in his mouth.

"Well, when we were in school I never really asked you, but Mika hardly seems to be your type." I say as I pick one up with 2 fingers. He laughs at me.

"Dude, we have napkins. Just eat the damn thing."

I frown, but do as I'm told. As I chew, I decide it's not bad. I'm keeping sex on the top of my list of Delic's likes that we share though. That and coffee.

"Anyway, Mika isn't really my type. She challenges me though, and I like that." he informs me.

"...Mika...challenges you? Okay, explain to me how that bimbo challenges anything that's not related to fashion and gossip." I say.

He laughs at me.

"Still blatantly honest, eh?" he grins.

"I do what I can."

"She challenges me because she never fell for my pick-up lines. Did you know that? I used them on her, but she looked at me like I was an idiot. We really only got together after I stopped trying."

"If you weren't trying then how did you convince her to date you?" I ask after I swallow my mouthful of hot wings. I like them!

"We just met up at the Halloween party the Astronomy club was throwing. She was amazed I actually knew the constellations, and we've been together ever since."

"Our school had an Astronomy club?" I ask.

"Seriously? Were you _ever _sober?" he chuckles. I pout at him, a habit I picked up when Delic laughs at me.

"I didn't see a reason to be sober in those days. I was...trying to forget a lot of things."

"...Hibiya, did you just pout at me?"

"No!"

"You did! Haha, what are you, 10?"

I glower at him, wiping my hands on my napkin. He laughs again.

"Come here." he grins, holding the napkin up to my face. I frown at him in confusion, then I'm assaulted with the material. I wail in distaste as he wipes my face clean.

"Seiji!"

"What? You made a mess. Besides, I've done this to you _tons _of times." he says.

"You have?"

"Hibiya, do you have any idea how... I don't know how else to say it... How broken you were? It was like caring for a toddler."

"A toddler?"

"A drunken, foul mouthed toddler. You spent every day sleeping through class, and every night drinking. I don't know what you were trying to forget, but it must have been pretty bad." he finishes assaulting my face and leans back in his booth.

"It sounds pretty awful when you say it like that..." I sigh.

"It was pretty awful. You used to get sick a lot, so I used to help you clean up."

"Seiji... I never thanked you for all of that."

"No need to, hombre. I didn't do it for thanks." he laughs.

"Really though. Thank you for trying to save me when I didn't want to be saved. It's only because of you that I managed to start things over the way I have... So, thank you."

"Don't get all mushy on me. I won't know how to handle it. I'm used to zombie Hibiya."

"Well, he got shot in the head. Now it's just me." I smirk.

He pays the bill, much to my disdain. We start walking back to the coffee shop.

"Are you sure you don't want me to pay for my half?" I ask for the hundredth time.

"I got it, I got it. I have plenty of money right now."

"Are your parents still helping you out?"

"Hah, no! Dear old Mom and Dad are pissed at me for not wanting to work in the their stupid hotels." he huffs.

"Ah, no Yagiri hotel love from you?" I chuckle.

"Fuck no. I hated those damn places. I hear your old man is designing his own hotels out west."

"I heard that too. Good luck to him, I guess."

"Yeah, you sound so sincere when you say that. Anyway, I've been looking into the music scene. Kind of a fuck you to my parents. My sister can have all the money from the hotels. She needs it." he says.

"You and Namie are still on speaking terms?"

"More or less. She calls me all the time, but her and Mika hate each other, so I try not to cause arguments. Mika and I have been doing really well lately, so I'm just trying to be a good boy."

"You're a dog now?" I laugh.

"Yep. I get rewarded when I'm good."

"I still can't believe your band is so popular now! Your music is really good. Your lyrics are pretty deep, which is what Delic says makes a true musician." I say.

"Delic likes my music?" he asks in surprise.

"Um... I really don't know. He said that about his own music."

"Your man has a band?"

I blush at the words 'your man', but I nod.

"He's really good. Amazing even. If you heard him, you'd love his music." I say dreamily. "He hasn't been able to play recently though, because of his crazy schedule."

Seiji looks at me thoughtfully when we reach the coffee shop.

"I'll talk to the manager of the bar we played at last night. They pay _really _well. He told me they were always looking for more bands to play. Does he have a following?"

"Yes! They have tons of fans." I say enthusiastically.

"Haha, you're so excited! Just call me later and we'll work it out. We'll just get the word out, and blow up the joint!"

"Yay! He'll be so excited! Delic wants to have recognition for his songs, and I've been wondering how I could help!" I say giddily. "I can't wait to tell him!"

Seiji is positively beaming at me.

"What?" I ask.

"You're so happy... It's good to see."

"Is that why you're still trying to help me out after all this time?"

"Old habits die hard, my little drunken roommate. I think of you as...a pet."

"A _pet_?" I grimace. "Are you serious? That's not a compliment!"

"Yes it is! It means I care about you, but at the same time I worry. Even after all this time, I worry. Like I said, old habits die hard. Besides, it'll be good to hang out together again! I thought our lunch was fun."

"I did too... It was good...having lunch with a friend." I smile. It means a lot to him, I can tell. I've always regretted saying he was never my friend.

"Yeah... A friend."

"You were just thinking of me as a pet again, weren't you?" I sigh.

"Dude, I'm thinking of getting you a collar."

He gives me a loose hug, and I promise to call him later. Right before I clock back in, I check my phone. I have a new message from Delic.

_[I can't sleep. I think it's because the bed is cold.]_

I smile at it before I type a response.

_[Oh really? Do I need to come home and warm it up~?]_

I clock in and greet Deborah, who immediately starts asking about Seiji. I think Deborah likes younger men. She hasn't flirted with me since she found out I'm with Delic, but I remember the first day I met her.

Delic says that's called being a cougar. I don't see why. Do cougars only eat younger animals?

My phone vibrates again, and I wait until Deborah looks away to check it.

_[Yes. I'd hurry if I were you.]_

I'm a little bummed that he's awake. We were up all night, so he's going to be tired at work tonight.

_[I wish. I'll be home soon though. I'll warm you up then.]_

He sends a response very quickly this time.

_[Well now I'm definitely not going back to sleep.]_

I can't help but laugh at this.

_[I have to go back to work now. Love you.]_

It still feels weird to say this to him, even in text form. I think of what Seiji said. Does that really make us lovers? Me, deserve love? It's just so...foreign... He's my lover...?

_[I love you too, Chibiya. Hurry and get your ass home!]_

Yeah... He's my lover.

* * *

_Sachi: I feel better after typing. Things will be okay, right? *sighs*_

_ Hibiya: Fret not, commoner! You will find more sources of income!_

_ Sachi: Hibi-chan's trying to cheer me up? This is a first!_

_ Delic: Go be a stripper. Or a prostitute! Those pay well. _

_ Sachi: ...Seriously? Don't tempt me..._

_ Hibiya: Review for hot wings. I found I like them, even if they're messy. Ah, and also our love. They make Sachi happy._


	27. Chapter 27

_I'm never disappointed in your wonderful reviews! Thank you all so much for trying to cheer me up. The comments really helped! I'm hoping for the best, and trying not to obsess over our financial situation. Things will work out. (I hope.) ugh, I had to work all day today. My manager keeps telling me he wants to be my sugar daddy. I keep telling him I have no interest in such things. He's not even cute! But I guess in light of recent events...I should consider it...? Nah. I have standards. Sort of... Now, on to your well-deserved love! __MitsukiMadara__, I'm glad you love my writing! __KarakadeVantas__, dominant Hibi-chan riding Delic? Eh... I'm thinking of something else...but we'll keep the riding part! *winks* __KoolaidShipping__, we agree that they're cute together! __Shiroi Hana__, haha, you must've been tired! I see emotional issues are all around. I think it's the heat. It makes people crazy. I won't resort to prostitution... I'm thinking of trying to publish my own stories! I like to dream, alright? __erihan__, nah Seiji will be neutral in this one. I mean, he never came in contact with the head, so while he's a little creepy, he's not insane. That's how I'm justifying it at least. __Ganne200__, I'm so glad you like it that much! I don't think anyone's ever told me they obsessed over my writing, but I like hearing it! So thank you! __S. Oyabun__, thanks! I'm glad it made your day better! __Cael Luciano__, s-stop updating so much? *sobs* Okay! I'll never update again! Oh wait, you were kidding. Alrighty then~. You're ready for the angst huh? Hmmm, I think we'll be there in the next 3 chapters. __BlueRoseDream__, I think of him as a cat too. Kitty!Hibiya! __aurorage__, we are now friends on Facebook! Hehe. Also, if I correct your reviews, it's because I understand what you're trying to say, haha. You think this one is deeper than 'Psychosomatic Monsters'? Oh, wow! That story is actually my most favorite thing I've ever written! And I happen to love lengthy reviews, so keep them coming~! __Guest 1__, Delic is indeed a beat at sex, haha. I'm glad you love it! __TooLazyToLogin__, I love you too, though I don't know you! Or do I? *waggles eyebrows* __darkestlight96__, haha, if Seiji convinced Hibi-chan to wear a collar, I think Delic would kill him. Poor Seiji. __Rai Rai Blue__, haha, I couldn't ever truly be a prostitute or a stripper. I just see how someone would resort to that, ya know? Thank you for your advice though! __Ilocetgibsvcfabi__, glad you like it, my crazy reviewer! __Burning-Petals__, ah so you noticed Hibi-chan had one of his 'firsts' with Seiji. Dun dun dunnnn! __Maru de Kusanagi__, thanks for that! I think they'll work out too. Well, enough of my rambling __**this time**__. On with mah storahhhhh!_

* * *

_Drabbles (Because Sachi likes to talk.)_

As soon as I'm off, I start running home. Delic hasn't texted me since last time, and I'm hoping he's asleep. I have to wait for the light to turn green on the 'Walk' sign. I tap my feet impatiently.

How did I ever end up like this? I'm acting like an immature school girl who's going to see her crush. Ah, at least mine is more than a crush. I'm still trying to decide when exactly I first knew I was in love with Delic.

I had always had a little crush on him. I mean, I never would've followed just _anyone _home. He just had a certain vibe to him. Even when I found out he's a nymphomaniac, I was never scared. Delic has never once mistreated me, and I know he never will. He treats me like I'm...breakable. Like he wants to wrap me in bubble wrap. Like I mean everything to him.

I shiver at this thought.

All this time, has he been as in awe of me as I've been of him? I never wake up without him in my mind. Even when I was delirious and sick, he was always on top of my list of things to think about.

It's amazing, really. He's moved into my brain.

I open the door and tip-toe inside. Delic is sprawled out on the bed, his face buried in my pillow. I grin as I approach him. I crawl on top of him gently, grinning even more when I realize he's still naked. My hands roam under the covers, and I massage his back gently as I kiss his neck.

"Mmmmm..." he breathes.

I chuckle quietly when I realize he's still asleep. Delic is a pretty heavy sleeper when he's out. I wonder...what I'll have to do to wake him up?

My hands massage him harder. My mouth goes dry when he moans quietly at my ministrations. My lips venture to his earlobe. I nibble the soft flesh gently and direct a low whine into his ear. His body tenses, and he rolls over, almost throwing me off the bed.

I land beside his feet at the foot of the bed. I huff to myself grumpily, because he's still asleep. But at least he's on his back now. I smirk as dirty thought consume my mind. I crawl on him again and lick his lips a little. He sighs quietly. I can feel his arousal against my thigh. He's already so hard just from some touches? I'll have to help him out~.

My hand ventures under the covers. We both moan softly when I wrap my fingers around it. Delic's eyebrows furrow in confusion. I guess I just made his dream change. I move my hand faster, stroking him a little harshly. His mouth opens and he gasps.

"Nnnn...ahhhhh..." he breathes. I can't help but whine again at his noises... He's making me want him so much! I decide I need to change my tactic.

I release his member suddenly, laughing as his face contorts into a frown. I un-do my pants quickly and yank my boxers down, releasing my hardened flesh from its confinements. Pulling the covers down, I sigh happily at his erection, before I situate myself back on top of him. Then, I grind against him.

"Ahhhhh..._Ahhhhhh_, wha-?" Delic opens his eyes and I'm met with his hazy magenta stare. "Chibiya?"

"Wet dream?" I grin, grinding down again. His hands move to my thighs and he meets me in the air. "Hahhhhhhh, Delic..."

"S-Some...hello..." he grins as he moves with me. I throw my head back and moan in a lewd voice. My body is putty in this man's grasp.

"Ahhh, D-Delic...Mmmm..." I move faster against him, riding him harshly. He curses and digs his fingers into my bare thighs, meeting my every thrust. His eyes open to look up at me.

"Gonna... Gonna come..." he gasps. I nod at him, signaling that I'm close too. He finishes first this time, me following right after him. Panting, I fall against him, my face in his chest. His hands move to my hair.

"Fuck... What was that for?" he asks, still breathing heavily. I look up at him.

"I...was...w-warming you up." I say. He blinks in confusion, but then a grin covers his face.

"Ah, I see." he laughs, one of his hands moving to my face to hold my cheek. Our lips meet, and he kisses me hungrily. Then, he freezes.

"W-What?" I ask, suddenly very wary. Why does he look so shocked?

"You're...not crying..."

"I'm not?" My hands move to brush under my eyes, finding no moisture. I meet his gaze again. He's _beaming _at me.

"I'm not..."

"Chibiya..." he moans lowly, kissing me deeply again. His tongue moves to the back of my throat, and I grasp his shoulders as I try to steady myself. "Love you...love..." he mumbles quietly every time our lips part.

"Love...you...too..." I manage to say as my mind is replaced with his body. His hands tangle in my hair as he devours me.

Finally, he releases me, both of us gasping for air. He wraps his arms around me and I rest my head against the crook of his neck. He gently traces patterns in my shirt.

"I'm really fucking happy right now." he says, and I can practically feel his smile.

"Nnn? And why are you happy?" I purr, as I nuzzle him.

"I never thought I'd have moments like this with anyone..."

I look up at him and I melt a little when I see the intensity in his eyes.

"All the ones before me didn't make you...feel happy...?" I mumble.

"I'm not going to lie to you. I used to be a horrible person, Chibiya. I would fuck people left and right, and I didn't feel a thing for them." he says quietly. "I've made more than a few people cry."

"Then...why me? Why am I different? Why didn't you fuck me the first night I was with you and never talk to me again?"

He looks at me thoughtfully as he traces my lips with his fingers. I kiss them when they linger.

"Honestly?" he asks. I nod.

"You looked so...innocent. I don't know; I just couldn't bring myself to try and force you to do anything. You forced yourself enough for both of us."

It's true. Each time we got involved in a heated moment, it was always me that pushed things too far.

"When did you...know you loved me?" I ask.

"The first day you woke up in bed with me." he grins.

"You mean after we got high the first time? Why then?"

"You mumbled my name in your sleep and chewed on my shirt."

"I _chewed _on your shirt?" I say incredulously.

"Yup. And your pillow. Heh, you had the munchies. Anyway, I watched you sleep for a while. And it amazed me that I never got bored and never looked away. Then I came to terms with it. And then you woke up...and even though you were confused as to how you wound up in my bed, you looked at me with such _trust_. No one's ever trusted me before you, did you know that?" he grins. "When did you know you loved me?"

"After...you gave me my first...orgasm..." I grimace at the sheer embarrassment I feel.

"Oh really~? That good huh? You like when I pleasure you?"

"I do... I like it a lot. I...love most of your likes...besides beer..."

He kisses me again, gently this time. I mewl against his lips and I feel him smile.

"You still hate beer, huh?"

"Yes. It's still sadness in a can."

"It comes in bottles too."

"Ugh, I hate it no matter what it comes in! I do love sex though~." I purr.

"Join the club." he says as he licks my chin.

"I did try hot wings today though." I tell him honestly. He pauses and looks at me through his bangs.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah... Seiji came and we got some." I see no reason to keep this from him.

"Seiji?"

"My old roommate."

"He was your _roommate_?"

"For 3 years."

"Fuck!" he hisses, falling back against his pillow. I frown at him.

"What?"

"Chibiya, you lived with him for 3 years and went out with him today?"

"As _friends, _Delic. Seiji saved my life. Besides, it's thanks to him that I found you a gig today." I say innocently. He gives me his famous stare.

"A gig?"

"The bar we went to last night wants to hear other bands play. Seiji said he's talking to the owner today about you guys, since I'm such a big fan."

Delic chews the inside of his cheek. I can tell he's still mad.

"Delic~" I mewl as I lean down. "I'm not interested in anyone else but you. I just want to help you, because I think your band is amazing."

"Better than Seiji's?" he grumbles. I burst out laughing.

"You're so cute when you're jealous! Of course I like your band more. I have a crush on the lead singer."

"The lead singer has a tendency to sleep with big fans."

"Oh, I know. That's why I'm his _biggest _fan."

We laugh at our stupid joke as he kisses me again.

"Seriously though... Will you do it? I really want you to, Delic. I want your band to get big! So people can fall in love with your lyrics like I have."

"I'll do it on one condition." he says.

"What's that?"

"You have to sing with me."

...Me and my big mouth.

* * *

_Sachi: Short chapter again! I have to get up early tomorrow, so I can't continue this one right now! Sorry!_

_ Hibiya: We're getting more into the music?_

_ Sachi: Yes! It's a big part of the story, ne?_

_ Delic: I think we'll make beautiful music together~._

_ Sachi: In actuality, Shizuo and Izaya's voices harmonize pretty well. Just sayin'._

_ Hibiya: They never sing together!_

_ Sachi: Uh-huh! 'Renai Circulation, Izaya Orihara and Shizuo Heiwajima version', Youtube that shit! (I have it on my phone. It's not really the actual voice actors, but the guys sound JUST like them. It's amazing~!) Anyway guys, till next time! Leave me nice reviews to help me get through my long week!_

_ Hibiya: Unless you don't want to see me sing again. I'm fine with that!_

_ Delic: Review! I want to sing with him~!_


	28. Chapter 28

_Hello my lovely humans~! Seriously, your reviews are my life blood! (I've removed my other blood for personal reasons. Mainly because I'm weird.) Ah, but for real, they mean so much to me! I can't think of a good enough analogy to help you understand how much they mean. Okay, they mean more to me than a bear's fur means to its lover bear. THAT MUCH. I'm off tomorrow! I would party dance, but my feet hurt. My boss wants to promote me to manager! I'm thinking it could be fun to be in charge. Alrighty, now for my love! __Rai Rai Blue__, haha, actually I'm a heavy sleeper too sometimes. Once at my friend's house, she jumped on me for a full minute before I woke up. I love you all too! And I DO mess with Toki! He's my little kitty and I like to bother him. __BlueRoseDream__, I'm so honored! Thank you for telling me I helped you out! I'm always verbally extreme, lol. __tsukicchan__, I love you too! Also, I get a hug AND a kiss? I'm honored and flustered! __Ganne200__, no, you're the first to tell me that! And I thank you for it! __KoolaidShipping__, haha, I'm thinking them singing together will be wonderful too. __erihan__, Namie? I don't like writing her without Izaya to torture her. I really hate Namie, haha. __Shiroi Hana__, you think I'm good enough to get published? Thank you so much! I have heard Kotonoha no Hana. I did love it! Now I have a video for you, my dear. Go to Youtube and type in 'Izaya Fanta Ad'. Those short seconds will make you fangasm so hard you'll die. __KarkadeVantas__, I made your nightmare go away? Sweet! I feel like the sand man, only not sandy and not manly! __Logic Dive__, you adored them? I adore YOU! __Burning-Petals__, I shall type fast for you! __aurorage__, I love them in that song! Yes, Limone-sensei does a better job of impersonation. I shall answer your other question further down! __TooLazyToLogin__, I do remember that! I'm sensing you have a crush on me! Don't lie and say you don't! Muahahahahahaha! Ah, also, being smothered in chocolate would be a hell of a way to go, ne? __Bakaureshii__, I may or may not have fallen in love with your review. I may or may not have read it with a grin on my face. __darkestlight96__, I can't wait either! __PaperHeadPhones__, you read all this in 3 hours? Holy shit, dude! I'm so glad you love it! I've read your MONSTER fic. Usually I don't like rape scenes, but I enjoyed yours. You need to update that story, chicka! Paranormal Alchemist, you did abandon me! But, at least you're back now~! Now, many of you have asked me what I'm basing their singing voices on. I want you to keep in mind that I don't see their voices EXACTLY like this, but it's the tone I see when I write about it. I see Delic's voice as having a David Grohl sound. (Lead singer of The Foo Fighters.) By that, I mean his voice would be gruff and loud, but intoxicating, like Shizuo's. I find Crispin Freeman's Shizuo to be entirely sexy, mainly because he's so gruff. I see Hibiya's voice as having a Ben Gibbard quality. (Lead singer of Death Cab For Cutie.) It would be smooth as silk and relaxing, like Izaya's voice when he's not trolling. Hope that helped! Now, on with my story!_

* * *

_Second Gig_

You know how when you want something, it seems to take forever to arrive, yet when you dread something, it's arrived in one fucking second?

I wait longingly for the time Delic gets home every night. Even though I'm sleeping, he always wakes me up in a very sexual way. Last night he decided that if he deep throated me, I'd wake up faster. He was right.

I dread when our gig is supposed to be. I say '_our _gig' very begrudgingly. I can't tell Delic I have stage fright or something, because I've performed with Seiji. I think he's just upset that Seiji wants to be back in my life. Last time I texted Seiji in front of him, Delic took my phone and stuck it in the front of his pants. Needless to say, I never responded to the message. I was too busy to type.

Before I know it, the night has arrived. Delic is off tonight and tomorrow night. I have to work, but I'm able to go surprisingly long without sleep. I've spent many nights without it my whole life, so I've just adapted to it.

We've spent the whole week going over lyrics. Delic has tried to get me to sing in front of him, but when I meet his gaze, I can't. He watches me like an animal watching prey. Usually I only get one line in before he launches at me. Last time Kadota and Saburo were in the room when he knocked me out of my chair and molested me. We were banned from sitting next to each other, like grade schoolers. Delic literally sat in his chair pouting for an hour, before he had the bright idea to text me. This is what we managed to say:

_[I can't wait until they leave. I'm going to devour you.] _he said.

_[Mmm, sounds good.] _I replied. His gaze met mine at this point, and we got reprimanded for 'eye-fucking' instead of practicing.

We're making our way to the bar now. My hand is in his back pocket, because I've found it keeps my hand warm and lets me molest him at the same time. He's whistling cheerfully and his arm is around my waist.

"I can't fucking wait for this," he's saying. "We're going to be on stage together. It's like, the crowd gets to watch us have sex or something."

"Delic, we're not having sex on stage. I don't know if you listened to the man in you nympho group, but he said martymachlia never works out."

"He's just bad at it. He got arrested for being ugly."

"Delic. He got arrested for doing it in public where little kids were around."

"Well, kids won't be in a bar," he says. "If they were, it'd be the parent's fault."

"...Why are we having this fucked up conversation?"

"Because you're nervous. I'm sacrificing my dignity to make you feel better."

"You could just kiss me~," I grin. His Cheshire smirk matches mine now.

"Oh? My kisses make you feel better?"

"Your body makes me feel better."

He brings our mouths together, pushing me against a hard brick wall of an unknown establishment. His hands roam over me, and I groan into our recklessness. Maybe there _is _something to this martymachlia thing.

"Delic," I breathe. "Y-You're going to make me h-hard..."

"That's the point, isn't it?"

"Not when we're in publi- ahhhhhhhh!"

His teeth just nipped my collar bone. Luckily, the streets are so crowded we're virtually unnoticeable. Aside from a girl wearing a shirt that says 'Otaku' on it. She's drooling in our direction.

"I love marking your skin. It's so pale that I just can't help it," Delic says.

Finally, I shove him off as his words send my blood downward. We're both panting heavily.

"Why...do you make me turn into a pile of hormones?" I huff.

"Because that's my job?"

I glare at him, and he laughs. He walks forward and laces our fingers together, walking us down the street again.

"You have no reason to be nervous. You'll see, I'll make sure everything goes fine," Delic grins as he leads us.

"You will? So if some guy walks on stage and launches himself at me?" I ask, my eyebrow raised to copy his famous stare.

"I'll fucking kill him."

"Sounds like a plan."

Kadota is standing outside the bar with a cigarette between his lips. He grins when he sees us, and he throws the butt on the ground, stomping on it.

"Delic and Hibiya. You know, if I ever see you two apart from each other, I'll know the world is ending," he says as he wraps one arm around me. Delic sighs.

"Where's Saburo?"

"I don't know. Do I look like his keeper?" Kadota's voice has an edge. Delic pinches the bridge of his nose, and I frown. What the hell?

"No, dumbass. You look like his roommate," Delic huffs.

"I'm going to find Erika. Meet me inside, ok?" I say to them. Delic frowns at me, so I pointedly glance toward Kadota to emphasize what I want. His jaw clenches and he remains behind.

I think Kadota needs to talk to his best friend about something, and I think it's going to be private. I decided to just find my friends while Kadota vents.

Inside, it's loud. The music is from the speakers this time. People are dancing on the floor, some trying to drop it like it's hot. I decide not to make tonight the night I set it down like it's lukewarm. They all look pretty serious about their dropping it tonight.

I scan the room, looking for familiar faces. I decide to use my phone.

_[Where are you?] _I send to Erika.

_[The bar.] _she sends in less than a minute. Ah, of course. Why didn't I just check there first? I should always check the closest place she can forget about her problems for the night. I make my way over to where she is.

"Hey, cutie. You want to dance?" a man asks me. He's looking at me like I'm made of cream and he's the cat.

"I don't dance."

"I'm sure I can teach you."

"Oh, I know how. I just don't dance," I say to him.

"Why not? You look like you'd be good at it."

"I am."

He frowns, obviously not understanding. I smile at him pleasantly.

"I'm afraid I don't get it..." he says finally.

"Me neither. Have a good night," and I walk away from him.

I see Erika in the distance. She's sitting with Mikado, both of them shoveling drinks down.

"Starting early tonight, eh?" I grin as I approach. Mikado stands up and throws himself at me, tripping so he lands in my chest.

"Hibiyaaaaa!" he slurs, "We were waitin' for ya!"

"Hello to you too, Mikado," I huff, trying to catch my breath, since he knocked it out of me.

"Guess what, Hibi-chan? I dropped out of college! Aren't I awesome?" Erika shouts, raising her glass so it sloshes out on her head.

"You... Why?" I ask as Mikado nuzzles into me.

"It was cutting into my work time. Plus, I failed every exam except Spanish. I got the results yesterday," she says.

"I'm so sorry..."

"Don't be! Tonight is the night for celebration!"

I know she's only happy because of the explicit amount of alcohol in her system, but what can I say? I just nod at her and grin sheepishly. I look down to Mikado, who's still all over me.

"So what's wrong with..." I point down at him to finish my sentence.

"I made him do shots with me, and Masaomi hasn't gotten here yet," she says like it answers everything.

"Mikado, I think Masaomi would be upset if he walked in here and saw you draped on me like this."

"No he wouldn't! He's not here..." he groans.

"I said _if _he was here. If, Mikado. We're talking in hypotheticals."

"Hypo-wha...? Hibiya's a genius!"

"True that!" Erika shouts, causing a scene again. Suddenly, another arm drapes around me.

"Sup, Hibiya?" Seiji asks.

"Why does everyone feel the need to touch me?" I sigh, prying Mikado off me before his hands decide to roam. He goes back over to Erika, who accepts his crushing hold much better than I did.

"You're just so little, it's fun," Seiji grins.

"I'm not little!"

"You kind of are, dude."

"You're kind of an asshole!"

"I try."

His arm remains around me as he orders a beer. I frown at him.

"Don't look at me like that. I never said I wasn't going to drink."

"It's unfair though," I sigh. "I'd love to drink."

"No way, man. You're the saddest drunk ever."

"I know! It sucks!"

He laughs, his arm slinking to my waist. I've noticed Seiji is much more physical than he used to be. He's always been touchy feely, just never toward me. Then again, I wasn't exactly the nicest person in school, so I can't say I blame him. Either way, it doesn't bother me when he does it, just like it doesn't bother me when Erika does it. I know both of them mean nothing by it; they just like being close.

Delic doesn't see it that way, at least where Seiji is concerned.

Saburo slouches in beside us, his hand shooting to Seiji's hair.

"Thanks for this gig, dude," he says. "We needed one. I need the money."

"No problem. Anyone willing to put up with Hibiya's attitude has earned some green," Seiji laughs. I frown at them.

"I do _not _have an attitude."

"Oh, you don't? I'm sorry, I must have you confused for the other golden-eyed shorty here."

"Seiji, I will kick you until you die."

"Hibiya, kicking my feet won't kill me."

I glower at him until he laughs. Then, I pout because they all start laughing. Really, am I a big joke to these people?

"Hibi-chan's so cute~!" Erika squeals.

"I'm not cute!"

"Yes, you are. Like a little kitty," Saburo laughs.

Seiji gets his beer from the bartender, his arm still on my waist. I lean into his hold out of habit really.

"Dude, did you ever think you'd see me again when you left?" he asks suddenly.

"No. I was kind of trying to disappear," I say.

"You did. For a long time. I thought you were dead."

"I was. I was dead for a long time, remember? You told me so."

He bites the inside of his cheek and takes a sip of beer.

"You know, I've always been sorry that I said that to you. I mean, it was a dick move."

"I needed to hear it. Look at me now," I grin. "I'm in a relationship and I've been sober for a month."

"Cheers to that!" and he drinks in front of me. Asshole.

Saburo is taking sips of his scotch and watching us intently. I remember why Delic's not in here.

"So what's wrong with Kadota?" I ask.

"Wrong?" he frowns.

"Yeah. He's in a bad mood. Delic's out there talking to him."

"I have no clue," he says. But the way he says it lets me know he does know. Then I place two and two together. Apparently, out of Kadota and Saburo, one of them wants a relationship and one of them doesn't. I can guess that Kadota is the one who doesn't. I guess that's why Delic is the one that needs to talk to him.

They're both sexaholics, so maybe they can relate.

It's at this moment that Kadota and Delic walk toward us. Kadota walks up to Saburo, whp turns away from him to face the bar. They're shoulder to shoulder, and I know they're talking even if we can't see them. Erika is watching them too, then she looks at me and mouths the word _'intense'_.

I meet Delic's gaze with a grin that I drop when I realize he's glaring at me. I blink in confusion. What did I do? Then, I'm shifted as Seiji takes another sip of his beer, and I realize Delic's mad because Seiji's arm is around me.

"Dude, Mika is on her way," Seiji tells me after he checks his phone over my shoulder. I wiggle out from under his arm before more damage is done.

"Why?" I huff.

"I don't know. She thinks if I'm out, I'll cheat on her," he says. "I told you, I'm trying to be good, so I invited her."

"Like a good dog," I grin.

"We've already established that you're the pet here. Kitty kitty."

"I'm not your pet!" I hiss like a pet, which makes me even madder. Delic growls.

"Are too. I called dibs."

Delic is glowering at Seiji with such intensity that I'm sure the brunette will burst into flames. I decide to defuse this situation before it explodes, and walk over to the blonde. I place my nose against his neck and nuzzle into him, moving my hands to his waist. He's still resisting me, so I kiss his skin, moving my tongue languidly over his neck. He shivers, his hands gripping my shirt so it rides up a little. He purrs as he gives into my advances, and I whine softly as he nibbles my jawline.

"You have no reason to be worried," I whisper into his ear. "I'm only yours to touch like this."

"As it should be," he whispers back, our lips meeting and moving in unison. Each time we kiss, our mouths just move together perfectly. Even our tongues dance like they know the steps to the song only we can hear.

"Ahhhh..." I release into our lip lock. He growls as he kisses me harder. I move my head back for air, but he follows me, refusing to let me part from him.

"I'm asserting my dominance," he says as his mouth moves to my neck.

"D-Dominance?" I breathe, moaning quietly as his teeth clamp down on my skin. "You've already...marked me..." It's true. My skin is covered in his marks.

He sucks anyway, forming a mark I'm sure will be visible to everyone here when he's done. I can't help the whimpers that leave me. I love when he gets like this.

"Delic... Delic, nnnnnnnnn, sto-stop..." I moan, well aware that everyone is looking at us. Erika looks like Christmas has come early.

He does, pulling away from my neck with a wet smacking sound. Our eyes meet, his eyes entirely glazed over as he looks at me. I'm panting from the heat that's coursing through me. He snarls, and he kisses me heatedly again.

"Wow. Looks like I missed quite the show," Masaomi's voice says from behind us. I whine when Delic pulls away to look at him with an eyebrow raised.

"Masaomiiiiiiii~!" Mikado wails, running to him. The blonde opens his arms and the raven picks him up and twirls him around. Then, their lips meet in a battle that almost matches the one I just had with Delic.

I place my head against Delic's chest and sigh happily, my hands running over his nipples through his shirt. He growls again.

"If you keep on, I'm going to fuck you senseless in front of everyone," he says.

I retreat my hands and grin at him.

"Later," I purr. His eyes darken.

Seiji's phone rings at this moment. He lifts it to his ear and I can hear Mika's voice in it.

"Mika," I huff. "She gets on my nerves." Delic is the only one who can hear me. He chuckles and kisses my temple.

"Just think, we'll be on stage and away from her in only a few minutes," he says.

I hug him tightly and close my eyes when he rocks us back and forth.

"Delic, I love you," I inform him.

"Oh, you do? I had no clue," he laughs.

"Yes. For some reason."

"Ah, it's a good thing I'm fond of you too."

I pout up at him, and he nips my bottom lip.

"You know I love you too," he grins.

There's an illegible shout behind us, and I turn in time to see Erika charging at us.

"You said you loved each other?" she asks.

"Um...yes?" I say, unaware of why this would be a bad thing.

Her eyes fill with tears, and she throws herself at us, her arms managing to wrap around us both.

"You guys are so reckless..." she sobs. I look up at Delic who's scowling down at her.

"What's she talking about?" I ask him.

"She's drunk as fuck," he hisses. "Erika, do I need to call Walker and tell him you've been out partying again?"

"No! He's too busy to care anyway!" she says, still crying.

"She dropped out today," I say quietly to the blonde. "She's pity drinking."

He sighs, and lifts her up to place her on the stool she stood from to charge at us.

"Hey, you two," he says to Masaomi and Mikado, who part with a smacking noise. "Watch her. Don't let her drink anymore."

"Alright, Deli-Bear," Masaomi grins. Delic blinks at him. I laugh.

"It's time for us to go up there," Saburo says, looking at his watch. Kadota is licking the back of his teeth, his jaw set. I know they have more to discuss after we're done.

Immediately I shuffle uncomfortably on my feet. Delic notices and walks back over to me, taking my hand and leading me toward the front.

"It's going to be fine. Why weren't you scared last time?" he asks.

"I was scared. But Seiji said I needed to live a little, and since he told me was dead once, I wanted to prove him wrong."

"So it was motivation?"

"Pretty much."

"Fine. Give me a minute to think of something," he says. We fetch his bass from Saburo's van. The drums are already up there. Apparently, that's where he was when he was missing. Kadota is carrying his guitar behind us, the lights gleaming off of it to show off the new sheen on it. I make a mental note that if I ever have the money, I'm going to buy Delic a brand new bass guitar.

We're on stage now, but the lights are off so no one can see us up here. I whimper as I see how many people are here.

"Alright, you can do this," he says as he leans his forehead against mine. "You're amazing, and your voice is so sexy, I want to fuck it."

"...That's one way to motivate."

"And, if you do this with me, I promise to make you feel amazing tonight," he says as he licks the back of my teeth. I moan quietly, accepting his tongue in my mouth graciously. His warm appendage melts away my fears, and I wrap my arms around his neck to deepen our battle.

"Can't you two act like civilized humans long enough to do this?" Kadota sighs.

"Fine, fine," Delic says. "But after it's over, we're resuming."

The lights come on, and everyone looks toward us. I gulp as I realize this crowd is bigger than the one from last time. They cheer when they understand we're about to perform. Delic calmly introduces the band, and he steps beside me so our shoulders are touching, his bass in front of both of us.

"It'll be fine," he whispers again. I nod at him, meeting his gaze for a second. If look too long, he'll kiss me and we'll get too wrapped up in a moment to play anything.

He starts playing first. His bass makes a reverberating sound, making the stage shake with each strike. He picks up pace, his fingers sliding over the strings with such ease and precision, I can't help but stare. Of course, I saw him practice this part tons of times, but never with the sound this loud. Never with the spotlight on him. Never with each note coursing through my veins like fire.

I'm in love with this sound, this tempo. I'm in love with everything Delic can do.

Kadota joins him, their rhythm matching. The pace slows this time, Saburo's steady drum beat adding to the mix. Then, Delic looks at me again, and I nod to him, signaling that I'm fine.

The truth is, ever since he started playing, my nerves have vanished. They were washed away with the beautiful rhythm of his fingers. The same fingers I've often admired from another angle.

I open the song first. I sing the words I've memorized for the entire week, and I realize I don't even need to think about the song anymore. It flows over me, the words coming out of my mouth with ease. I look at the crowd, their faces lit with joy, awe, and enthusiasm. Then, I look at Delic, who's beaming at me. He nudges me with his shoulder, then joins my singing.

I've been amazed by this since the first time I sang with him. Granted, we didn't make it very far before he was pushing me down and groping me, but I still noticed it. Our voices harmonize perfectly. His is deep, rough, passionate. Mine is smoother, more drawn out. Together, they flow like silk, over the audience and over us too.

The song picks up again, the crowd cheering as it gets faster. Saburo makes a very impressive beat on the drums, so fast I can barely see his sticks over the leather. My gaze shifts over the audience again before I look back to Delic.

We sing to each other, our eyes never parting. I see what he meant about the glow of the spotlight now. His eyes are shining at me, full of the bottomless emotion I've been drowning in since I moved in with him. I'm in such awe of him always. I know he's in awe of me too.

When the song slows again, we hum together. The music dies off, and our voices hum for one minute more before the sound stops entirely. That is, until the crowd roars.

They scream in excitement, their hands on the stage groping for our feet. I grin sheepishly at them, leaning down to slap some of their outstretched hands. Delic laughs, pulls off his bass, and joins me, so we're both high-fiving the crowd.

Still laughing, barely audible over the crowds cheers, he pulls me from the stage. Kadota and Saburo both slink off in another direction, obviously going to continue their conversation. As soon as we're off the stage, he shoves me into a wall and kisses me heatedly.

"D-Delic..." I moan, tilting my head so he can ravish me. His hands cover me, going under my shirt, dipping into my waistband.

"So...fucking hot..." he hisses, shoving his hips against mine.

"Delic! Ahhhhhh~..."

"Your voice... Christ, Chibiya..."

He grinds against me again, my hands moving to his shoulders to balance myself and hold onto something steady.

"I, _ahhhhh_, I sounded good?" I ask, yelping when he rides down harshly.

"So...perfect..."

I lean my forehead against his shoulder, losing myself in the hazy pleasure. He groans quietly, making a choked noise when I meet him with my own hips.

"Ahhh, ahh, C-close...close..." I whimper, clenching his shoulders tightly, my nails digging into his skin. He growls, stopping his motions suddenly, making me whine in misery. He pulls me away from the wall, running us toward the bathroom, almost knocking over some poor man who's trying to walk out.

He tugs me into a stall, giving us privacy as he finishes both of us off. I pant against his lips, doing my best to catch my breath. He's watching me with that predatory look again.

I'm just glad he had enough sense to pull our clothes down, otherwise we'd be extremely uncomfortable right now. As it is, we're basking in our afterglow, pawing at each other in the tiny stall. He cleans us both with toilet paper, and strokes my cheek as he watches me come down from my high.

"Chibiya, I can't even...imagine...how I lived before you..." he says. I chuckle at him, still trying to catch my breath.

"I didn't live before you... I was dead, as I've been told," I laugh.

"I was too."

"Mmmm, that's fine. Now that I'm here, we can live together."

"You remember...when you told me you live for me? That...I give you a reason to live?" he asks quietly.

"Mm-hmm."

"I live for you, too."

"You getting romantic on me?" I grin. He clenches my hips, squeezing so hard I'm certain they'll bruise. "Delic?" I ask.

"I love you," he says. "I want to live every day like this. Just...with you. Do you promise me you'll stay here with me?"

"Where would I go?"

"You left before. That Seiji guy...he said you left with no trace. You wouldn't leave me, would you?"

"Are you okay? Of course I won't leave you, Delic. I love you. Is something wrong?" I suddenly feel very wary.

"I have a feeling... Just a bad feeling."

"Is this about the nightmare you had this morning before I left for work?"

He nods.

"Delic, it's fine, alright? I'm here with you, we're both fine, and we're going to stay together. We're...lovers, right?" I blush, looking away from him.

"Lovers...?"

"Yeah that's...you know, that's what I think it's called..." I mumble.

"Lovers." he smiles, kissing me again.

"Do you feel better...?" I ask.

"Chibiya, I feel fine when we're together..."

"And we're staying together," I say.

"Then I'm perfect," he grins.

I don't need to ask what his nightmare was about. I don't need to know. I've had enough of them to guess, and I don't want to know if he doesn't want to tell me. I hug his neck, and he hugs my waist. All I need to know is that he's fine when he's with me, and I'm fine when I'm with him.

We can take everything else coming our way. I have to believe this. I have to.

Because, like Delic said, there's an eerie feeling looming over us right now. Something is coming... So this all has been a languid calm before the storm.

As long as he holds me, I know we can handle it. Together.

* * *

_Sachi: You guys know I spoil you right? These lengthy chapters take hours!_

_ Delic: Wait... Was this your way of warning of the angst in the next chapter?_

_ Sachi: The start of the angst, my little nympho. The start of our drama bomb!_

_ Hibiya: I've noticed...there is smut in most of these chapters... You do realize that most of your reviews from previous stories state that they like the fact that your stories are an actual storyline with a side of smut, and not entirely smut, right?_

_ Sachi: It's not entirely smut. Besides, I have to add it. Delic is a nympho. It has to be documented._

_ Delic: My bad..._

_ Sachi: Anyway, review for my love! I can't wait for the next chapter, as I'm sure many of you can't either. Let's all be impatient together! :3_


	29. Chapter 29

_The truth is, this is where the happy little story you've read starts to disappear. The truth is, by the end of this, you're going to hate me. The truth is, you're going to see how fucked up Hibi-chan truly is, and in retrospect, you're going to wonder how in the hell I come up with these twisted ideas. The truth is, this is where shit gets real. Now, if that's not enough of a warning label, I don't know what is! So no one better tell me later on that they hate me for making them sad, haha. I'm in a sort of surreal mood right now. My life is getting real. Today I read an entire book, worked most of the day, gave money to a hobo, and dropped my sister off at a strip club to work. The truth is, this isn't the first time she's been a stripper. The truth is, I never wanted her to have to do it again. Either way, I'm off tomorrow, and you know I like to spoil you with updates. I really love to write, especially when I'm in surreal moods. The words pour out more evenly. All of you are so sweet to me, and the truth is, I don't deserve it. So, in reward, here's my love to you that you can't cash in, but you can wrap around yourself like a blanket and know someone, somewhere, loves you. __TooLazyToLogin__, I knew it! And I love you too! __Paranormal Alchemist__, you can't handle heartbreak? Oh dear. I suggest exiting this story! Of course, I don't want you to. But I don't want you to cry yourself to sleep at night, haha. __erihan__, Delic does get around. I guess that's why I like writing him so much. __incidentalmusic__, wait...you're saying days where you wake up to no updates are better than days where you do get updates? Ow, my soul, haha. __KarakadeVantas__, I'm sorry, but the fluff is almost over. It's time! __Logic Dive__, everything you guessed is cold except for one thing. If you can guess, I'll tell you~. I accept your love and nuzzles and cookies! __jusqualafin__, wait...I'm having the babies? If you make me hormonal and pregnant, you're giving me foot massages and telling me I'm pretty. I love you too! __PaperHeadPhones__, Shinra? Oh, I write him alright because he's a nerd like me. I find it's best to make him rant, talk about science, and be creepy in his own way. I've really noticed that I reinvented Hibi-chan for this story. Haha, that's alright though. __MitsukiMadara__, you can guess! I like to hear what you think is going to be wrong. __BlueRoseDream__, I think we all love smut. I know I do! It used to bother me to write it, but now it's pretty natural. __Shiroi Hana__, I know! I saw it an immediately wanted a Fanta just so I could picture Izaya gyrating his hips. __KoolaidShipping__, you've noticed Hibi-chan is giving into addiction issues! Pudding for you! __Guest 1__, lol, I love The Foo Fighters! __Burning-Petals__, I do love when everyone is drunk, haha. __Guest 2__, ah, the nightmare. Really, I didn't mention it on purpose. It was so you'd scroll up, thinking you'd missed it, when it was never there. I like to troll, what can I say? Haha, I'm glad you love it though! Thanks so much for reading! The truth is, this A/N is over. The truth is, on with the story!_

* * *

_Crashing_

We're jumping backwards again. In all honesty, this story starts before Delic. It starts before Hibiya knew anyone. It starts with only the Oriharas, in their mansion full of hate.

Hibiya sat on his little sister's bed. She was sick again. This time, he's only 13. The little girl's dark hair is braided, her face is flushed, and her eyes are glazed. Hibiya, in all his 13 year old logic, thinks she's dying.

"Hibiyaaaaaaaa," she whines, "It hurts so bad..."

"Where? Where does it hurt? Tell me and I'll make you better," Hibiya said quietly.

The truth is, he was trying to pray she would get better, but he forgot how to pray. He stopped the first time his father stuck his hand in his pants and stroked himself at the same time. He forgot how to ask for help from a higher being, when it was never granted.

Really, we only pray when we want something. We're such frivolous beings. No wonder God tuned him out.

Anyway, back to the present. Well, as present as a flashback can be.

"Everywhere," Mairu cried, "Everywhere at once."

Hibiya looked at her, frail, sobbing, pitiful. He looked at her, knowing she felt how he felt. Broken, useless, but for different reasons.

Mairu could never lead a full life, as easily as she got sick. They all knew that, aside from 3 year old Mairu. She would know someday. And her world could crash down then.

Right now, all she knows is that she hurts. And any 3 year old will look to an older person to make it better. Now, like every other time in her life thus far, Hibiya is the only older one around her. She clings to him, crying, pitiful. He feels how she looks.

The truth is, he's trying to remember how to pray. He's thinking in his head that is only Mairu's immune system could bet stronger, he would consider going to church more.

Because we only pray when we want something. We only pray for acceptance.

Mairu cries again, her face turning red. Hibiya frowns as he feels her forehead.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Mairu. I never get sick, and here you are, always sick. It's unfair," he says.

"Do... Do you think Mother and Father care that I'm sick?" Mairu asks, still pitiful. Still sad enough to make Hibiya talk to God in his head, quietly Sad enough to make him believe maybe God will answer him this time.

"What do you mean? Of course they do," he lies to her.

"Father... He hates me..."

"He does not hate you. Father is just busy."

"He's never too busy...for you..."

_Dear God, please, please, please..._

"You don't want Father taking an interest in you," he says, "It's not right. It'll never be alright. You're better off this way."

Better off crying, pitiful, sick.

"I'm not..."

He takes her tiny hand in his. You know the hand I mean. The one that can never truly wrap around your own hand, because it's too small. The hand that only a year or two ago, could only hold one finger at a time. She holds it as firmly as she can, and she turns her tear-stained eyes to him.

"I promise, Mairu. One day, you'll be better. One day...we'll both leave. We can have everything, together. And you'll never have to wonder whether or not I love you."

And Mairu, in all her 3 year old logic, she nods, falling into a fitful sleep.

_Dear God, please, please, please..._

_ Save me._

* * *

The weeks since the gig have been wonderful. Really superb. I can't ask to be more happy than I am now.

I think to myself, where's Mairu?

Delic and I seem to have more sex than we know what to do with. He thinks I'm turning into a nympho too. The endorphins from sex, they're great. They make me escape my problems. Delic's manhood, his fingers, his tongue, they're all my tools to escape.

And mine are his.

I love Delic. I love him more than I've ever loved anything.

I think to myself, what about Mairu?

Delic has steady gigs now. He has more of a fanbase than ever. He's getting to the point where soon, he can just play his bass full time, and quit bartending.

"It's a dream," he says.

We laugh together, because we always laugh together. Delic looks at me with his pink orbs full of love, my golden eyes filled with worship back at him. We lose ourselves in hazy pleasure, forgetting the world outside.

With Delic, there's no such thing as a single orgasm.

With me, there's no such thing as not begging.

Together, we're a surreal mesh of sadist and masochist, S&M. Together, we like to use our bodies as tools to ward off our self-destruction. Together, he's never been called a whore, and I've never had my cock stroked by my father.

One thing I haven't told Delic, something you're going to get mad at me for, I'm sure, is that I need my meds.

You've forgotten by now, haven't you? You've forgotten that I'm bipolar, possibly shell shocked too. Of course, shell shocked is the old term. Now it's called PTSD, but I like granny terms.

I need them, I think. My moods go from crazy happy, to horny, to sad, to fine in less than 10 minutes. Delic has no clue. I hide it from him.

He doesn't need to know that I'm more ruined than I let on.

Something else. I don't like my thought process recently. These are the thoughts I used to drink to drown out. These thoughts, they scream in my head. They tell me all the time that I'm useless, worthless, trash. Things I know that Delic doesn't want me to know.

You're thinking that I need help. You're thinking that I should tell Delic. You're thinking, this is the ranting of a mad man?

They're not. I'm Hibiya Orihara, and I'm ruined.

Nice to meet you.

You're thinking, we've met before.

I'm thinking, where's Mairu?

Delic looks at me as I sip my coffee. I'm off today, because it's Sunday, and Delic is off because he only works two nights a week at the bar now. Sal is such a good little bitch.

"Are you alright?" Delic asks. "You look really tired."

I didn't sleep. I couldn't sleep. My thoughts won't let me.

"I'm fine," I say, "I had some nightmares."

I have no reason to be so depressed. I know this. It's not like I had to drop out of school like Erika. It's not like I have to babysit a brat like Delic does. It's not like I disappeared like Mairu did.

And I think to myself, where's Mairu?

The truth is, we only pretend to be fine. Think about it, when was the last time you were really yourself? When could you truly let your thoughts out, show your face, be yourself? You're always someone else for someone else. You're never who you want to be. You can never forget your past, or plan your future. You can never be who you want.

And Delic says, "Chibiya."

I wear my masks. Even for Delic, I wear them. I find it easier than being myself. My ugly brat self, who wants attention, even if I have to tolerate my father's hands in my boxers to have it.

"Chibiya."

I do love Delic. And I'm so happy. Why am I so sad right now?

All of a sudden, I feel fine again. I realize it's not the end of the world, and I realize I have coffee in my hands. Why was I upset?

"Chibiya!"

"Hmm?"

"...You're not alright," Delic sighs, feeling my forehead. "Are you feeling sick again?"

You're thinking, tell him.

You're thinking, he's your lover. Tell him.

I'm thinking, fuck no.

"I'm fine, love. Just tired. I like to daydream when I'm tired."

He touches my hand across the table. We're drinking inside so we can observe the scenery. We're at a different coffee shop, one that's open on Sundays. They have even crazier drinks than we do at Deborah's. I'm drinking something with espresso, chocolate, and whipped cream in it. I hate sweet stuff, but the espresso masks it nicely.

Delic has a smoothie. He's so healthy these days. It's like we've switched places. It makes me think something is wrong.

"I love you," I tell him. I love to see his face light up when I tell him this. He smiles widely at me, pulling my hand more into his. He kisses my fingers over the top of his smoothie. I grin wickedly and dip them into my whipped cream. He returns my grin, and licks my fingertips.

"Christ, Chibiya," he says, "I always want you so bad... Like I can never get enough."

"Isn't that what you want? If you never get enough of me, you have reason to keep me."

He licks my fingers again, his eyes darkening as he looks at me. I lick the whipped cream in my cup, then lean over to kiss him.

Together, we taste whipped cream on my tongue. Together, we purr as he wraps his around mine and sucks. Together, we draw the attention of the small shop.

All this attention makes me think.

"Whatever happened with Kadota and Saburo? They seemed fine at your last show."

He sighs dramatically and pushes his marvelous golden hair away from his forehead.

"They're trying to stay friends. Kadota is unwilling to change his lifestyle, and Saburo refuses to be one of many. So, for the sake of the band, they're staying friends," he informs me.

"Poor Saburo," I say.

Delic nods.

"I don't know what I would do... You know, if you left me," I tell him.

He arches a perfect brow.

"Left you?"

And then my horrible feeling is back. The one plaguing me and taking over my mind. The one that won't let me sleep and keeps making me feel like shit.

"I'd die," I say, "If you left me."

"Don't say that. Why are we talking about this? Are you sure you're okay?"

So many questions and no answers to my worries. Just like Delic.

"I'm fine. Peachy even."

"Chibiya..."

And I have so much to tell him, but I can't. I can never tell him. I feel like he has much to tell me too.

It's at this moment that Mikado and Masaomi walk in the shop. They spot me, and they walk over to me slowly.

It's then that I know something is wrong. I haven't seen them in days, and now that they're here, there's no enthusiasm.

"Hibi-chan," Masaomi says quietly, "Erika said you would be here. We thought you'd like to know..."

I frown at them. Delic drinks his smoothie and still holds my hand in his. The air is so thick that I feel like I'm suffocating.

Something's wrong.

"We...found your sister..." Mikado says.

I gape at them, and Delic gapes at me. They're not happy, so I know it's not good news. I can already feel the fist clenching around my heart. The negative voices in my head leave for just a moment, and I can be Hibiya again, even if just for this moment.

And the Hibiya I am right now, he's found his faith again, because he wants something. Just like all of us when we want something.

_Dear God, please, please, please..._

_ Save her._

* * *

_ Sachi: Ah, so who sees the difference in this chapter? _

_ Delic: This is...disturbing..._

_ Hibiya: Are you driving me crazy?_

_ Sachi: No! I'm not doing anything to you! I'm just thinking it and writing it down!_

_ Delic: ...That's doing something..._

_ Sachi: Tell me what you think! Tell me what you think is wrong with Mairu! Tell me if you like it or hate it! This chapter is going more into Hibi-chan's mind. Dark, ne? Poor thing._

_Hibiya: Can I vote now?_

_ Sachi: You're banned from voting._

_ Delic: Heh. Chibiya got in trouble~._


	30. Chapter 30

_Ah, I ended on a cliffhanger, so I'm updating early. I know last chapter was different. Hibi-chan is going to start scaring you soon. Why? Because Hibi-chan's thought process, in some ways, is based off my own. Keep in mind, anyone who writes fucked up characters well, is usually fucked up themselves. Mind you, I'm not suicidal, but lately, I can relate. Things are getting better on my end for now though. Hopefully, they stay going upwards for a while. Now, for my love! __Paranormal Alchemist__, I did end on a cliffhanger! Muahahahaha! __KoolaidShipping__, I can't fix him! Only he can fix himself, and he's an Orihara, so you should know by now! Hehe, I shall update soon! __Burning-Petals__, I'm glad you liked it! __TooLazyToLogin__, because those jobs don't pay enough. I'm not happy about it, but what can I do? *sigh* I need a hug. __NighttimeFirefly__, This is your first DelHibi? I'm glad you like it! But don't get used to this Hibi-chan. He's made to be OOC in this story. __incidentalmusic__, ...If I'm catching your drift...I think we're both sick... Haha, I shall try for some good angst! __Logic Dive__, thank you for being so sweet! Yes, you're warm on that part. __jusqualafin__, haha, my sadist side loves that my cliffhanger is killing you! But, I'm nice so I updated for you~ __Braverly-Homunculus__, warm! __MitsukiMadara__, haha, I don't want you to die of boredom! __tsukicchan__, you said depressing so many times... That is my goal though. Thanks for the hugs and cookies! __KarkadeVantas__, something is wrong! __Bakaureshii__, sorry about the cliffhanger, but they keep you coming back, ne? __Ganne200__, you've been reading my other stuff? Ah, thank you! My most favorite thing I've ever written is 'Psychosomatic Monsters'. This one is starting to grow on me too though! __BlueRoseDream__, I feel I write angst better during hard times. I'm so glad you're sticking with me! __Rai Rai Blue__, fourth wall you say? He's talked to the audience before. I don't remember which chapters, but I know he has. He's doing it more because there's less dialogue between him and other characters. Since he's in his mind, I'm making him talk to you. Hope you enjoy it! Thanks for the good wishes! __Shiroi Hana__, you're loving my angst? Oh, good! I'm so glad you liked the Fanta video! Another one you might like, although it's an AMV, is called 'Izaya Let Me Hit It' on Youtube. The person who made that video did it very nicely, and I guarantee the song will be in your head. __KkarolBoss__, I'm glad you're liking it! I can't tell you whether or not it will end badly, but I can say it's not going to be a fairytale ending, if that helps. __Quiet. Crash__, I'm so glad you're back! Ah, thanks for feedback on all that you missed. I'm happy that you liked it all! I love how you called Hibi-chan a fucker, lol. Also, you're the only one who guessed correctly! You win a prize~! (though I don't know what yet.) If you're wondering what you guessed correctly, you'll see. __Nazupii__,__ ah, not an issue. Although sometimes, death is a better outcome, ne? __Maru de Kusanagi__, really? Oh wow, you're going to be crying soon for real then! __Darkestlight96__, Hibi-chan sounds like both of us my dear. My thoughts scare me sometimes too. It's fine though, if you know how to deal with it. As for me, I write it down! Things are about to get darker, people. Anywho, enough if my babbling for now. On with the story!_

* * *

_Shattered_

One of the first things Hibiya noticed about his little sister was how she could always entertain herself. She never required much attention during her playtime. If Hibiya asked if she needed a friend to play with, she would always say she already had one.

Naturally, he was immensely confused. He had never seen the poor child associate with anyone in their house aside from himself. He would chalk it up to an overactive imagination, and not worry too much about it.

Looking back, maybe he should have been more observant...?

* * *

Masaomi and Mikado sit across from us. Delic moved to sit beside me. Immediately, his arm wraps around me, like he's already trying to comfort me.

Delic and his body-language.

"Where is she?" I ask quickly, my breath already sounding short. "Is she alive?"

They look at each other, then back at me.

"Yeah... She's alive..." Masaomi says.

"Where?"

"Hibiya, we wrote the address down for you," Mikado says as he hands me a slip of paper. I look at it.

"She's..." I say as Delic looks over my shoulder to read.

"Yeah. It was really hard to find her. She's been in there for a while," Masaomi sighs.

I'm not listening to them. I'm still looking at the piece of paper. The few words that make my blood run cold, my breath almost stop.

"Chibiya," Delic says.

"I'm going." I stand up quickly, making them all jump in alarm. Delic stands too.

"I'm coming with you," he says as he takes my hand. "It's just an hour from here. We'll take a bus."

"Dude, be careful," Masaomi calls. Delic waves back to them, but I'm still walking toward the exit.

"Chibiya, calm down," Delic pleads, his voice sounding worried.

I don't respond to him. I lead us toward the bus stop. My mind is running 1,000 miles a minute.

"I don't understand," I say.

"I know," he answers.

We end up on the bus, which is almost empty, despite an elderly woman in the back. I sit at the window seat, watching the scenery outside fly by. Delic sits very close to me, almost on top of me despite the large seat we're in. He always does this when he senses I'm upset. It's the only way he knows how to comfort.

You're thinking, talk to him. You're thinking, you'll feel better if you do.

I'm thinking, fuck no. Still. I'll think this way for a while.

Delic doesn't try to get me to talk. His hand is on my thigh, and his head is on my neck. He's not trying to lick me, grope me, molest me. He's just here. To me, it's more than enough. I need him here.

"Thank you," I say, "For coming with me."

"Like hell I would let you go alone," he says.

"It's not going to be a pleasant trip. Mairu isn't going to be ecstatic to see me."

"Why wouldn't she be? She's your sister."

Delic and his optimism.

"Yeah, and I'm her brother that left her alone for almost 6 years."

His lips kiss along my neck, but not in a sexual way. I told you, he uses his body instead of words. I wonder to myself sometimes if all nymphomaniacs do this, but then I think that I don't really care. I love that he does this. His body is my escape.

Delic is my drug. He has been since I came here. He will be until I leave. We all know I won't be leaving anytime soon. An addict can't leave their fix.

I turn to him so our eyes meet. He looks wary. I guess I look on edge or something, because his hands run along my face now. His fingers rest on my bottom lip.

"Kiss me," I plead. He does. Our fingers lace together, and his lips glue to mine. I whimper quietly into his mouth when I think of where we're going.

"I know," he says gently, "I know, baby."

We don't use pet names much, unless you count 'Chibiya' as one. I called him 'Deli-Bear' once to see how he'd react to it. He gave me the same stare he gave Masaomi when he used it. I decided to only use it if he's upset.

I whimper more at his understanding. I kiss him harder, trying to make myself forget. He lets me, he always lets me. Maybe he needs it as much as me.

I'm so selfish, aren't I? I jump on a bus to go see someone, not even thinking of how this is affecting Delic. Maybe he had plans for us today? Maybe he's tired? Maybe seeing me go to pieces again and again hurts him?

If he went to pieces in front of me, it would hurt me.

You're thinking, talk to him. You're thinking, he's right there, you stupid bastard.

I'm thinking, fuck off. I'm thinking, why Mairu?

"I'm sorry," he says, "I'm sorry you have to go through this."

I don't respond. I move over to sit in his lap, resting my head against his chest. We have an hour before we get there, so I decide silence is best. His fingers move through my hair, and his head leans against mine. He hums a song I don't know.

He's treating me like a child, a fragile little kid. Maybe I am a child, I don't care. His voice calms me down. I close my eyes and wrap my fingers in the fabric of his shirt, whining softly every time he stops humming, so he knows I want him to keep humming. He does.

He always does.

Delic's voice goes into my brain, buzzing around and relaxing my nerves. I open my eyes to stare at the scenery again. We're passing tons of trees, some other cars. We're going away from the city. What a marvelous trip this would be, if not for the pressing circumstances.

Delic is still humming, still wrapped around me like a protective snake. A security blanket. My _everything_.

"Are you asleep?" he asks quietly.

"No," I say.

"Do you want me to shut up so you can try?"

"No."

He hums again, this time I recognize the tune. It's the song we sang together a few weeks ago. A month ago. Time flies by sometimes. I hum with him. He smiles.

He starts quietly singing the lyrics. I shut up so I can hear him, but he prods me until I sing with him. I'm directly beside his ear, so I sing softly. He seems happy enough with this though. His hands hold mine tighter, and he stops singing so it's just me.

"I love you," he says suddenly. I laugh softly, continuing to sing into his ear.

I continue this for what seems like ages until I feel him lean into me more. I look backwards at him, smiling when I realize he's asleep. I knew he was tired. His breathing is soft, and his hands are around my waist. I lean into him, settling us against the seat. I hum some more, feeling the happiest I have all day when he grins in his sleep.

The trees flash by, looking like a big flash of green. It's getting cloudy outside. Don't you just love it when the weather matches the mood? I guess if it rains on us, I should know what's coming. Without Delic being awake, my mind wanders. When my mind wanders, I think of the most _horrid _things. I can't help it, I've never been able to.

You're thinking, why is it so bad now? You're thinking, why were you so happy, and then all of a sudden you're like this.

The truth is, I don't know. I just get like this sometimes. Now, I have a reason to be upset, and it's like my body doesn't know how to deal with this. Usually, I love to curl inside myself and feel sorry, but now I can't do that.

No matter what I do, it doesn't make the thoughts go away. I should be concerned with this, but right now, it's not important.

Delic sighs in his sleep, his arms holding me tighter. Even in his sleep, he somehow senses my distress. He's truly something else. I decide to take my mind off of where it is, and focus on him instead, like I always do when life gets to be too much.

His golden hair is framing his face nicely. He got it cut last week, so his bangs are a little shorter than they were. We went to get our hair cut together. Mine is a little shorter too. It was almost to the bottom of my neck by the time I decided I couldn't live with it like that. Delic's was already past his neck almost, so we just went together.

"It's romantic" he had said, "To get our hair cut together."

Yeah, like buying matching rings or deciding what the hell we're having for dinner tonight. I had smiled widely at him while the barber was cutting my hair. It was some older man, one I don't think realized that we were in a relationship until we kissed heatedly after Delic saw my hair finished. Poor thing.

I hum again, playing with Delic's fingers as I pry them off my waist. His beautiful hands that can play the bass perfectly, and make me cry God's name continuously, praying for release.

Because we only pray when we want something.

_Please, please, please…_

The bus starts to slow down. I look up in surprise, not realizing an hour had passed so soon. I told you, Delic makes me forget. I press my lips against his ear.

"Wake up~," I purr.

His eyes open slowly. He looks around like he doesn't know where we are, then they settle on me. His hands move to my face.

"You were awake the whole time?" he asks.

"Mm-Hmm."

"You should've woken me up!"

I shake my head, kissing his fingers.

The bus stops, and we get off it slowly. He leads me toward the place I've feared my whole life, in one way or another. We arrive, and I stop outside the doors. He looks at me.

"You're not fine." It's not a question.

"No… No, I'm not," I whisper.

His forehead presses against mine.

"I'm here."

"You're the only reason…" I break off. He understands, and he pulls me into a bear hug.

I take a deep, shuddery breath, and we walk inside. The lady at the front desk looks up.

"Hello," I say, "I'm here to visit my sister."

"Name?" she asks, typing on her computer.

"Mairu Orihara."

She stops and looks at me.

"Mr. and Mrs. Orihara have requested that she have no visitors except for themselves."

Delic casts a wary look at me.

"I understand that," I tell her, "But you have to understand where I'm coming from too. I've travelled a long way to see her, and I should think her brother would have some rights too."

"You're her brother?"

"Yes ma'am."

She frowns at me, picking up her phone. I know what she's doing. Delic looks at me in pure terror, not sure what he should say. I keep my expression passive as she calls my parents.

"Hello, Mr. Orihara? Yes, I'm sorry to bother you, but your son is here to see your daughter," she says into the receiver.

Delic's hand grabs mine.

She looks up at me, and hands me the phone. I take it, Delic leaning close to listen.

"Hello, Father," I say.

_"__Hibiya. Why are you at the hospital?"_

Not even a 'hello', or 'how have you been?'

"To see Mairu."

_"__Didn't we tell you not to see her? Your telling lies has caused us some real trouble."_

"I never told lies. You know that. I just told the truth, which was inconvenient for you, so you sent me away," I say.

There's the sound of something being slammed.

_"__Again with this? Obviously you never learned your lesson. Not that I should be surprised since you ran away from school like the coward you are."_

Delic growls.

"I should think my showing up at a fucking mental hospital to see my sister would show you I'm no coward," I say calmly.

_"__Give me one reason I should let you see her."_

"Because I'm the only one who gives a shit about her."

_"__You've developed quite the foul mouth."_

"I try."

There's silence again, then I hear him sigh.

_"__What happened to you, Hibiya? You used to be such a good son."_

"I guess I just can't ever make you happy, Father. So I stopped trying," I say, and my voice cracks a little. Delic looks at me in alarm.

_"__Are you crying?"_

"Are you surprised I can actually cry without getting hit these days?"

_"__Go see her. I'm sure she'll be happy to see you."_

"Thanks…"

_"__And… For whatever it's worth…I'm sorry."_

"Yeah."

I hand the phone back to the woman, and she hangs it up. Her eyes look at me warily, and she points to the hallway.

"We'll bring her to the visiting room. It's best if you have privacy."

"Thanks," I tell her.

We're led to an empty room at the end of the hallway. Delic and I sit in chairs facing another chair that's empty for now. He grabs me as soon as she leaves the room.

"Chibiya…"

"I'm fine," I say.

"Stop it with that! You're not fine, dammit!"

I take another shuddery sigh and wipe my hand under my eyes.

"I know. But… I can't break down in front of Mairu. Just…let me wait, Delic…"

He runs his hands through his hair and nods, looking entirely distraught. He settles beside me, still keeping his hand on my thigh.

The door opens slowly, making an eerie creaking sound like in the movies. For the first time in almost 6 years, I'm facing Mairu. _(If I ended it here, how much would you hate me~?)_

She's almost 11 now. Her hair is long and dark brown. It's pulled into a braid and settling over her shoulder. Her red eyes are wide and scared. She looks at me and looks around like she's not sure what to do. Immediately, I almost break into tears, but I refrain.

"Mairu…" I breathe.

She looks at me in alarm, cocking her head to the side. The nurse that escorted her in pets her hair and turns to leave her. Mairu's eyes are fixed on me.

"Do I…know you?"

The knife in my chest just twisted.

"I guess… I don't expect you to remember me… I'm your brother. Hibiya Orihara."

Her eyes widen even more if that's possible, and she sits in the chair across from Delic and me.

"Hibiya…?"

"Yes. I left you when you were 5."

"Left me?"

"Well… Not by choice. I've looked everywhere for you," I tell her.

"I remember you," she says, "Kururi told me about you."

"Kururi?"

Her demeanor changes, and she leans backwards in her chair.

"Did you know, brother, that you had another sister?"

"What are you talking about…?"

"When Mother was pregnant with me, she was pregnant with another. I have a twin."

The knife in my chest shoves in deeper.

"Mairu, I don't…"

"Don't understand? Of course you don't. Why would you? No one does. I don't understand it either, but the point is, Kururi is the only one who's never left me."

"I never meant to-"

Mairu glances at me, and her eyes are so dilated I see no reason to finish my sentence.

You're thinking, what the hell is going on?

Congratulations, we're on the same page for once.

"Kururi died in the womb," she explains, "Mother only gave birth to me. That's why I'm so weak. Kururi got the strength, but I got the chance to live. Too bad I'm stuck in here."

"Did Mother tell you this?"

"No. Mother never talked to me anyway. Everyone in that house lied to me."

"I know the feeling…" I say.

"Do you? Because I'm pretty sure you're the one who lied the most."

The knife in my chest just hit a few vital organs.

"You think I never knew what Father did to you? I saw him one night, you know. The week before you left. I saw what he did to you."

"Mairu-"

"And I saw you let him do it."

_"__Mairu-"_

"I saw you moaning and-"

"Enough!" I scream, slamming my hand on the table. "I never begged for him, do you hear me? Never! What you saw was me trying to escape! If I cried sometimes he would…let me go. I was afraid, Mairu. I was scared if I turned him away that he would…"

"What? Come into my room? What do you think he did when you left?"

I'm dead now. Bleeding out from the knife in my heart.

"Mairu…"

"The difference? I'm willing to bet he got further with me than he did with you."

Delic looks white as a ghost, and I'm sure I look just as bad.

I can't hold it in now. I break into sobs, trying to calm myself down. She's watching me passively.

"That's when Kururi got louder. We played as kids, but when Father raped me, she talked to me more. She explained things."

"W-What did she say?"

"She told me I don't have any family except for her. Everyone left me, including you. Mother and Father placed me here to die, and you left me ages ago. I don't see why you're here, aside from the fact that it'll make you feel like you tried."

I was wrong, _now _I'm dead.

"I'm so… Mairu, I'm so sorry…"

"I know. I'll see you around sometime. Maybe when you end up in here with me. It's our fate you know. All Orihara's go insane in the end."

She leaves us there, Delic and me. I try to wrap my head around what I was told, and Delic is talking to me in a frantic voice. I don't hear him.

The bus ride back is shorter. It's all a blur. Delic is there, he's still talking. I still can't hear him. I'm trying not to fall apart.

Trying.

Trying.

It's only when we get back home, only inside his apartment, that I fall face first into the floor, crying so loud I can't hear anything except my heart break.'

Delic is there beside me, holding me, kissing me, telling me it's alright.

It's not alright.

And this time, he can't fix me.

Because now, it's not just me that's ruined. Now it's Mairu too.

And I know, despite it all, that it's all my fault.

* * *

_Sachi: Wow. Drama bomb._

_ Hibiya: I think you just made this story more fucked up than ever._

_ Delic: Shit._

_ Sachi: Ah, well I hope I didn't disappoint all who came for the ANGST~! Leave me a nice review for the next chapter. You know I'm easily swayed by reviews to write faster. I love you all! _


	31. Chapter 31

_You're all a bunch of sadists! Very few of you told me to make their lives easier. Most of you said "MORE ANGST!" Haha, I'm glad I'm not alone in my sadism. I got a new review on 'Fix You' from an anon. It told me that story is WAY too fluffy. I just laughed. I mean, what part of it ever said it wouldn't be? Besides, I like it the way it is. So there. Ah, but you don't want to hear about that! For those of you that genuinely care, I'm okay. Life sucks, but it won't always. I hope. Ah, well. __Paranormal Alchemist__, haha, you and your closets. Locking people away isn't the answer to everything! __incidentalmusic__, glad you approve! Whoo, sadism! __KoolaidShipping__, l-like a real book? *sobs* Thank you so much! Thank you for saying you look up to my writing! It means a lot to me! __Shiroi Hana__, I've been squished! Did you like the video? I love angst too! __KarkadeVantas__, I love when you rant! Yeah, Hibi-chan's going through some real shit now, huh? __aurorage__, haha, I love that you automatically assume I'm going to make things worse for him! You assumed right though~. I'm glad you loved how Kururi was added. I'm worrying you? Ah, because of my babbling. I worry sometimes too about how things are, but thank you for your concern. I promise, things will get better! __Braverly-Homunculus__, so messed up? I did well then! __Quiet. Crash__, yeah, I liked the knife bit too! Mairu IS creepy, ne? __BlueRoseDream__, ah, but HAVE we reached rock bottom yet? *grins* __Logic Dive__, haha, it's not going to even be THAT fluffy. We're still going down, love! __Annie-AnnAnn__, I can't say, but you should keep your Kleenex! Glad you like it! __darkestlight96__, well, I hope you liked it even if you found it predictable. __tsukicchan__, ah my dear, you ask a wonderful question~! Haha, if I had to choose which of Shizaya and the alts I'm most like, I am most like Izaya. I love to bother people, observe them, and I have a very hard time having relationships with people as a whole. In the Light novels, Izaya is actually very insecure. That's how I see him at least. If you're curious as to why, I'll explain next A/N if you'd like. As far as directions, I'm like Tsuki. I get lost ALL THE TIME. I got lost my first day of work. I knew how to get there, but I forgot how to get back. (how sad is that?) I actually have a very hard time with the simplest tasks sometimes. It's like my brain refuses to comprehend what to do. I've managed to live 19 years though~! __Bakureshii__, thank you so much. I'm glad you guys care for me, haha. No one else seems to. __Cael Luciano__, it's fine! No MPD. Kururi isn't another personality. I'll reveal more of what's going on with her. __MitsukiMadara__, I'm glad you liked how it played out~! __LimeCrayons__, you cried? YES! That means I wrote it well! Um... I mean, awwwww. Hehe. __NighttimeFirefly__, I'm so glad you like it! I love him more OOC, to be honest. __Rai Rai Blue__, nuke! I actually thought of doing one from Delic's POV, but in a different way. I was thinking of rewriting the WHOLE thing in his POV. It'd be a lot of work, so I'm not sure if I'll do it, but I'll think about it. As for Hibi-chan, yes. Yes you will. __jusqualafin__, die in a corner? If you do, I suggest making sure no animals are around you! They'll eat you, you know! And yes I am going to torture them more~. __TooLazyToLogin__, yay, give me hugs! And I need my coughlovercough! __Ganne200__, you're also in a corner! I'm naming it the emo corner. Ah, suspense was my goal. I do really love this story right now. 'PM' has a warm spot in my heart always though, because it was my first fanfiction. I'm kinda high right now, so I apologize if you see any errors. I'll fix them later. I just have to add a chapter now while things are still real! If you don't know what I mean, you will one day. Anyway, on with mah huffin' story~!_

* * *

_Ruined_

_**1 New Voicemail from Deborah!**_

_"Hibiya, sweetie, do you need more time off? Delic called me yesterday, but I need to know when you're coming back. No rush though, sweetie. I'm still just so sorry. Hope you're well. Just...give me a call, alright? Bye."_

_**1 New Voicemail from Erika!**_

_"Hibi-chan? C'mon, pick up, please? This is the 5th time I've called you! Please... I need to know you're alright. I saw Delic yesterday and he's so... Just please call me back. Bye."_

_**1 New Voicemail from Masaomi!**_

_"How did it go? No one's heard from you. Deborah said you haven't been at work in 3 days. Should we be worried? Hibi-chan, call me back please. Mikado's freaking out and...I am too..."_

I stare at my phone screen blankly. Those people and their concern. They've seen Delic. He can tell them how I am. I'm broken.

_**1 New Voicemail from Seiji! **_

_"Dude, where are you? Do I need to go beat someone up? C'mon, man, call me back. I get worried when you're upset."_

Ah, well. I suppose they have reason to be worried. Honestly, I can't tell you what happened since we got back from the hospital. After I collapsed in the floor, I slept.

And slept.

And slept.

And now, I'm not tired anymore. I'm just numb. I'm in the bed now, so I suppose Delic put me here. I know I didn't walk here. Today is the first day I've checked my phone. I have endless texts and new voicemails. I sigh as I observe them.

I turn my phone off, no reply.

I roll over, away from the wall, to see the bedroom. It's a mess. There's clothes everywhere, littered all over the floor. I see through a crack in the door. He's in the living room talking to someone. I assume it's over the phone, since I can't hear anyone in there with him. He's pacing the floor.

"Yeah, I know, I know," he's saying, "He's just lying there... He won't wake up..."

There's silence as he pauses in front of the door, looking at me through the darkness. He can't see that I'm awake.

"No, I called in for him. Are you kidding? Deborah wouldn't fire him. She was beside herself when I told her what happened."

What happened? I can't remember.

"Yeah, man. His sister... It was awful. You should've seen his face. It broke my heart."

Mairu...

Ah, Mairu.

"I don't know if he can. He's... He's just lying there still. Catatonic? No... I don't think. What qualifies as catatonic?"

Delic sounds frantic. He was there after all. He was with me when I died. He saw everything.

He walks in the room quietly, the light streaming in from the fully opened door. He shuffles through the clothes in the floor, gathering them up in one arm while he holds the phone with the other. His hair is a mess, sticking up in random places. According to the messages, he's been out of the apartment, but he doesn't look like he's been anywhere in days.

"Well of course I'm worried! I don't know what to do!" he whispers in the phone as he tosses the clothes in the hamper.

He walks around the bed again, touching my face gently. I close my eyes so he won't know I'm awake.

"Yeah... I'll try again tomorrow. He's going to be starving when he wakes up... If he's not up by tomorrow, I'm taking him to the hospital. Uh-huh. Yeah, bye," he says, flipping his phone closed. He continues to stroke my face, running his fingers through my hair as he moves his hand.

"Delic..." I whisper. He jumps at the sound of my voice, and he leans beside me.

"Chibiya? How do you feel? Are you hungry?" he asks worriedly. I shake my head.

"What day is it?"

"It's Wednesday night," he replies gently. His voice sounds like he's talking to a person in a coma.

"I've been asleep for three days?"

"Mmmm."

I sigh wistfully, opening my eyes to look at him. His eyes have bags under them, and his hair looks worse than I thought.

"You look awful," I say.

He laughs dryly, leaning his forehead against mine.

"You haven't seen yourself yet," he informs me.

"I look bad?"

"You look miserable."

"Ah, well."

He crawls on top of me, resting his head on my chest. He breathes deeply, his arms wrapping around me. I place my hands in his hair.

"I'm sorry," I say.

"For what?"

"Worrying you. Making you worry about me."

"Chibiya," he sighs, "Stop it."

I take a shuddery sigh, unable to stop the tears that well up.

"I can't. It's not fine, Delic. It's not alright."

"I know."

I open my mouth to respond, but all that comes out is a strangled cry. His head snaps up in alarm, his eyes widening as he looks at my face.

"Chibiya... Please don't cry..."

I shake my head, the tears already flowing evenly. He moves his head to the crook of my neck, and he kisses my skin.

"Please tell me what to do..." he says.

"Tell me it'll be alright," I say, "Lie to me."

"It will be alright. I'm not lying. You'll get through this, baby. You've been through so much already..."

I laugh in a hollow voice.

"That's good. Lie to me more," I say.

He curses, leaning away from my neck to look me in the eyes.

"Chibiya..."

I laugh more, turning my head into the pillow to muffle the sound. It's _hilarious. _Tell me you think it's hilarious. Tell me I have reason to laugh.

Tell me to laugh so I can stop crying.

_Please, please, please..._

Delic pulls my face away from the pillow and forces me to look at him.

"You need to eat something. You need to get out of this room," he tells me.

The laughter dies immediately. Out of this room? Where everyone can see me like this?

"No!"

He looks at me incredulously.

"Chibiya, you haven't eaten in _days_."

I just look up at him defiantly, anger blooming in my chest.

"Maybe I want to be hungry! Maybe I want to lie here until I die! Maybe I don't care if I never wake up!" I shout. Honestly, I have no clue why. I really don't. I think I'm saying things just to say them right now.

You're thinking, whoa, man. You're thinking, chill out.

I'm thinking, fuck you. I'm thinking, I'm such a screw up.

"Don't say that!" he says, looming over me still. "Why would you say such morbid things? You told me about the suicide attempts so…just stop."

I open my mouth to laugh again, because he's just _hilarious _tonight. I mean really hysterical. Funny in every way humanly possible. Right?

So then, why are the sounds coming out of my mouth not laughter? Why are they broken sobs? Why can't I reassure Delic? Why can't I tell him I'm fine?

Why?

Why?

_Why?_

Someone tell me WHY, goddammit!

"I-If I can still feel pain… I'll never be like my father…" I say. "If I can stay this way, I'll never…

"You are _nothing _like that fucking rapist. My only regret from that trip was that I couldn't drag that asshole through the phone and snap his neck," Delic hisses. "What Mairu said to you… It was out of hurt. She didn't mean it. She's just mad at the world right now, and I'd say she has a good reason to be."

I just look at him, more tears leaking from my eyes. He wipes them away before he continues.

"You need to cry. You need to get angry. You need to stop lying here and wallowing in your sadness. If you want me to drive you to your father's house, I'll steal a car right now… Just tell me how to help. Please…"

Please, he said.

_Because we only pray when we want something._

"I don't know what to do either. No matter what we say, it's our word against his. And you'd be surprised how much his fame will sway the public. We're all alone on this one. Mairu's all alone in her mind…"

"No, she has Kururi."

I just scowl at him.

"What? She said it!"

"She's insane!" I bite back.

"No… I really don't think so," he tells me. When I raise an eyebrow, he sighs.

"Tell me what's so bad about a lonely kid inventing an imaginary friend to play with? Hell, when I was little, I had one. I think everyone did. When I got older, I made new friends, but if I never did… Well, I guess I'd still talk to my imaginary friend."

"You think it's just an overactive imagination?"

"I think it started out that way. I think maybe…your dad pushed her over the edge, but I don't think she's too far gone to where we can't get her out one day."

"My parents would never let me get her out," I say bitterly, unwilling to cheer up.

"When she turns 18, we don't need their permission. Besides, even if she is locked in there forever, at least you know she's away from your father."

"I still can't… I can't believe he did that to her…"

"I can. He's a sick fuck; they do lots of weird things."

I laugh in spite of myself. A weird laugh that radiates warmth through me. It's not great, it's not life changing, it's not even a prolonged laugh, but it's _real_. The reality is what I crave. Real emotion. Raw, real emotion.

"Are you going to be okay?" he asks me quietly. His voice is wary, and his gaze bores into mine. It's because of this that I can finally pull a mask on, if anything just to make Delic feel better.

I'm tired of people being upset because of me. I don't ever want to let someone down again. I never want someone else to be as tired of their life as I am.

I never wanted Mairu to be ruined. Never. I never wanted to be ruined either, but it happened, and I was just getting past that. Now it's like it's happening all over again. The truth is, I'm not fine. The truth is, I need help.

The truth is, I won't get it. The truth is, I'm ruined.

And even if I'm ruined, Delic needs to be reassured, so that's what I'll do.

I smile at him as best as I can, and kiss his lips. He sighs happily, pressing his mouth against mine more firmly, grasping to the comfort I'm providing him with. If nymphos respond better to physical contact, I'll give it to him.

If he needs me, I'll give myself to him.

I'll lie to him as long as I have to. Sometimes, that's all I can do. I used to lie to Mairu all the time. She was right…I did lie to her. Always…

_"__It'll be fine, Mairu. One day, we'll go far away from here, just me and you. I'll protect you."_

The truth is, I'm sorry.

And I can never make it up to her.

* * *

_Sachi: This chapter would have been longer, but my computer went stupid. I wish I could tell you I went through an elaborate series of trials and used my huge nerd brain to solve the issue, but the truth is, I turned it off and back on after realizing my elaborate plans wouldn't work. Either way, it's fine now, so yay me!_

_Hibiya: You said you're most like Izaya? Why would anyone reveal that information?_

_ Sachi: Because! Since you know how fucked up Izaya is, and you know my characters pretty well by now (well…borrowed characters) it helps you know how messed up your author truly is~! I find I write better in my 'I don't give a fuck' mood. Last chapter and the chapter before that were written in said mood. This one is more…dead tired._

_ Delic: I wish you were more like me!_

_ Sachi: Ah, we all have a little Delic in us. _

_ Hibiya: I don't._

_ Delic: You did last night._

_ Sachi: …Right, well… Review! Forgive my tiredness and my…non-soberness! Everyone needs to forget their problems sometimes, you know? I'm about to crash, so I hope to wake up to wonderful reviews! Next chapter will have plot development, I swear. Until next time, my lovelies~! _


	32. Chapter 32

_Ah, you guys, I was going to update last night as a surprise to you. You know, 2 updates in 2 days? Unfortunately, your author got entirely drunk last night and passed out in the yard. So, here's an update! Eheheh... I have news! I've been trolled! A lovely anon told me this story is boring and my writing is bland! I'm excited about it though! See, in this fandom, a fic is not truly popular until it's trolled. I've never been trolled before! It kind of bums me out that it's a cowardly anon, but I'll take what I can get I guess. Now, for my love for those of you who don't think it's bland! __Paranormal Alchemist__, Delic would be the one to walk him. Exercising is key when you live in a closet! __MitsukiMadara__, don't you hate when you're about to sleep and you get an email that makes it impossible? Ugh, I get those all the time! __TooLazyToLogin__, no, it's not bad at all! It just makes you a sadist, my dear. Join the club! __Quiet. Crash__, you're welcome! I feel like I need you to stand by my bed and be my alarm clock. Just say, "Get your lazy ass up and go to work!" Tell me if you're interested! __jusqualafin__, you're a creeper for me? Heck yes! I'm glad you liked my other stories! __Shiroi Hana__, I have seen 'Izaya is Shuffling'. I loved it! One of the funniest things I've seen, and I can't tell you why I find it so funny, is called 'Izzy Be Creepin'. 8 seconds that made me laugh for whatever reason. __Logic Dive__, you want me to make them go down together? It's a possibility! __BlueRoseDream__, it really wasn't reassuring... That's fine though! Haha, we love them being in pain, don't we? __Ganne200__, you love my post scripts? Yay! I love writing them! __Guest 1__, you love them too? HECK YES! __darkestlight96__, that's the saddest thing ever! Please find it again in the future! I'll really miss you. __LimeCrayons__, can't do that love! I'm sorry! __Emirozu__, thank you so much, my new reviewer! __KarkadeVantas__, worship me? Ah, I LOVE HUMANS! Hehe. __Marshmallows Rule The World__, you are going to love where this story is headed then! I'm so glad you think I make the fandom a better place! It means so much after I was trolled! __Cael Luciano__, I wish! I would add Izaya, but I just can't. If it makes you feel better, I have 2 fics in the making he'll be in. __NighttimeFirefly__, me too! __KoolaidShipping__, you are so freaking sweet! I love you! __Rai Rai Blue__, it went stupid. Like a grown man learning he can't do his own laundry stupid. Haha, I'm really considering doing the Delic POV. __tsukicchan__, you get excited for long replies? I get excited for long reviews! Ah, in the Light Novels, when Izaya first met Shinra, he didn't like him. Shinra knew who he was and what he wanted, and Izaya didn't know who he was. I think he likes to think he loves humans and can't have relationships so he doesn't try. When Vorona comes in the picture, he gets really upset that Shizuo ignores him for her. (I FUCKING HATE VORONA.) There's also a scene where Shinra threatens to not be his friend anymore because he puts Celty in a bad situation, and Izaya gets really upset about it. Anyway, he's my favorite. __Winter In Japan__, thank you so much! It means a lot! __Nobody__, ah, my little troll. If I'm supposed to be offended, sorry, I'm not. The fact that you read all 26 chapters of my other story, and read 3 chapters of this one before you trolled me means that you saying I'm 'bland' isn't believable. If you're trying to offend me, I'd suggest being creative and original. Quite frankly, I don't give a shit what you think. Keep reading though~! If you want to try again, I'll tell you whether your trolling is getting better. Don't try to troll the master, my little sasquatch. __Bakaureshii__, thank you! Sorry if I'm depressing you! __Guest 2__, the Light Novels? Um, I found them online. I'll find them again and then post the link for you. I'm warning you now though, if you're a Shizaya fan, they don't interact much in the novels. Shizuo and Vorona appear to have a thing. PISSES ME OFF! Either way, it's up to the author what she does with them, and I'll write my slash either way! __Maru de Kusanagi__, you and me both! Thank you all for reading and reviewing! I still can't believe this story is so popular! I love you all~! Now, on with the story!_

* * *

_Coping_

It's Thursday, and I'm at work. I called Deborah last night and _tried _to have a conversation with her. I say 'try' because I could barely understand her. She was crying illegibly. She did that when I walked in too, followed by hugging me so hard my spine popped.

Seiji is sitting at the counter on his phone. He's waiting for me to get off work. He seems to think if I go out, I'll feel better. Of course he feels this way. Seiji has it in his head that he can fix me. He's always thought that. Our friendship is mainly based on him thinking he has to save me.

I can't be saved.

"Hibiya, are you not ready to go?" Deborah asks me worriedly.

"Hm?" I say.

"It's past 4... I thought you were gone already," she tells me. I look at the clock and see she's right. Last time I checked it, it was barely 3. Where does the time go?

_Time flies when you want to die. _

"Oh, dude, I just noticed that too," Seiji says as he stands up, stretching. "Sorry, I got a weird message from Mika."

"Weird?" I ask as I clock out. My voice sounds dead, even to me.

"Yeah. She's mad that I'm taking you out."

"Oh, sorry."

He drapes an arm around me and leads me out of the store.

"It's fine. She always gets mad at me for hanging out with you. Did you know she was really jealous of you in school?"

Well, this is news to me. I never knew Mika had enough brain cells to know what jealousy feels like. I just shake my head at him to save from having to speak.

"Oh yeah, man. She was super jealous." His speech is cut off by my phone ringing.

"Hello?" I ask.

_"You still sound awful. Was work okay?" _Delic asks.

"It was fine. Seiji wants us to go out."

_"...Are you sure you're up for that?"_

"Yeah. We don't have anything better to do. I figured we could just go to the same bar your gig is at. I know how you get when I'm with Seiji."

Said brunette grins at me and places his hand over his heart, pretending to faint.

_"That's a good idea then. Are you inviting everyone else? You know Erika loves any excuse to drink."_

"I'm afraid she'll be mad at me. I haven't talked to her in days."

_"Nah, she's not mad. I just talked to Walker last night. He said she's worried about you."_

For good reason.

"Could you call her for me and invite her? I really don't want her to cry on the phone with me."

_"You'd rather her cry on you in person? I'll call her," _he laughs.

"Thanks, Delic. I'll be home in a minute. Seiji's with me."

_"Oh, joy."_

"I love you," I say, more out of reflex than anything. I mean, I do love him, but I haven't said it much recently. I haven't said anything recently.

_"I love you too."_

When I hang up, Seiji is grinning at me wickedly.

"What?" I huff.

"You _love _him? Oh, my little Hibiya is in love! It's too much!"

"Ah, you think I'm incapable of love?" I ask.

"I did for a long time. When you turned _me _down, I thought so," he grins.

"...I don't recall ever turning you down. Did you ask me?"

"Hah, yeah. One night when I actually got drunk with you. Did you know you look just like a girl when I'm drunk? Anyway, nothing happened, and I'm totally glad for that, but I was trying to encourage you to give me head."

"...Well, I'm not too good at that anyway," I say. He laughs at me.

"Good to know," he says.

We arrive at the apartment, and Seiji keeps an arm draped across me. I just raise my eyebrows at him.

"What? Don't get me wrong, man, I like Delic just fine. But him getting jealous is really funny," he laughs.

"If Delic lunges at you, I'm not stopping him," I huff.

"That's fine. It'll be funny."

We walk in after I unlock the door, and Seiji keeps a death grip on the back of my shirt. Delic looks up from his bass and immediately tenses because he sees Seiji holding me.

"What's up, Blondie?" Seiji greets him.

"...Seiji," Delic says dryly. He stands from the couch to tug me away from the grinning brunette and into his arms.

"Are you sure you want to go out?" he asks me quietly. "We can stay in. I can take a rain check on the gig, really. Whatever you want."

I stand on my toes to kiss him gently.

"I want to do what's good for both of us. It's not good for me to stay locked up inside all day, and it's not good for you to have to babysit me."

"I'm not babysitting you."

"Yeah, I am!" Seiji says.

Delic glares at him, and I roll my eyes.

"Sorry. Seiji likes to hear himself talk," I inform Delic.

"I've noticed."

"Ah, Delic, I think you'll appreciate this," Seiji starts. "I've been trying to get Hibiya to wear a collar. Maybe with a bell on it? Would you support that?"

"Seiji," I grit my teeth.

"You know, cause he's my pet."

Delic growls.

"Seiji, why don't you go pick out some demeaning clothes you'd like me to wear," I suggest.

"I really can? Sweet!" Seiji goes into the bedroom, and there's a slight thumping noise as he shuffles through our closet. I sigh loudly, and bury my face in Delic's neck.

"Long day?" he asks, swaying our bodies slightly as he wraps his arms around my waist.

"Not really. It flew by. I just want to keep standing here with you," I tell him. He chuckles.

"You can, you know. We don't have to leave," he whispers against my temple.

"Yes we do. I told you, it's good for both of us."

"We need to do what makes you happy though. I'm nervous about you...going out like this."

"I know. It's fine, Delic."

He sighs and kisses my head.

"You smell like coffee," he says, changing the subject.

"It's a new fragrance I'm trying."

"Ah, I like it. Makes you smell edible."

He leans down to kiss me, his tongue swiping over my lips. I sigh happily, accepting the intrusion, my hands wrapping in his hair.

"Taste good too..." he mumbles before he devours me again. I mewl when he nips my tongue, nibbling on it like he's really trying to eat me.

"Ah, Chibiya..." he groans, his hands sliding down my body to rest on my hips, dipping his fingers into my waistband.

"Couch..." I murmur, tugging him toward it. He complies, pushing me down and climbing on top of me.

Part of being in a state of depression and sleeping like the dead for three days is that poor Delic hasn't had much attention. I feel bad for him for having to put up with me.

"Delic...nnnnn..." I groan as his hands travel under my shirt. I wonder idly how far he wants to go since Seiji is just in the other room, but I think I get my answer when he cups my crotch.

"Ahhhh! N-No..."

"No?" he says huskily, his other hand joining the first. "You don't want me to pleasure you?"

"O-Of course I...do...but...Seiji..." I manage, his hands massaging me through my pants. Despite my words, I arch into his devious hold, choking back lewd noises.

"I don't give a _fuck _about Seiji," he mutters as one of his hands plunge inside.

"Ahhhhhhhnnnnnn~ Delic...Delic...Delic..." I say over and over as he strokes me harshly. He leans up to observe my face, his mouth hovering over mine. I can taste his breath mingled with mine.

"Mmmm, what's my name?" he asks.

"Delic... F-Fuck..." My hips jerk into his wonderful grasp, my limit getting closer and closer.

My mouth is invaded with his again as he drinks the mantra of his name. I arch into him again, my climax nearing closer and closer...

"Hibiya~! Come see what I picked out for you!" Seiji calls from the bedroom right when I come into Delic's hand, the sudden noise making me jump.

"Hahhhhhhhhhh!" I cry, clinging to Delic like my life depends on it. He laughs wickedly, zipping my pants back up as he licks his hand.

"We'll continue this later," he says. I nod at him sleepily, my body still shaking from the release.

"I don't know if I can stand up..." I admit.

"Want me to carry you?"

I nod, holding my arms out like a child. He lifts me from the couch and carries me into the bedroom. Seiji has the monstrosity that Erika bought for me.

"I'm not gonna ask why you have this, but I do want you to wear it," he says happily.

"Do I have to?" I ask sleepily.

"_You _said I could pick it out. So, yes."

"Dress me..." I whine. Delic hisses at the joke.

"Not when you're sober! It'd be weird," Seiji laughs.

"You've _dressed _him before?" Delic asks incredulously.

"Yeah. Well, changed his shirt more like. Hibiya liked to drink right before class."

Delic stares at me.

"What? This is news to me too," I say. "I remember very little from school. I hated it; I know that much."

"Oh, _everyone _hated it there. You know how small our graduating class was? Most people quit around the same time Hibiya did," Seiji informs us.

"I thought this was a really high class school we're talking about. Why did everyone quit?" Delic asks.

"Because none of the students wanted to go there. Like me, their parents sent them there," I sigh, swinging my legs toward the floor so Delic releases me. "Mine wanted to get rid of me. Why did you end up there, Seiji?"

"Eh, it was either go there, or go with my old man to study how to run his stupid hotels. I chose school because it was four years of slacking off."

"Slacking off? School was easy to you?" Delic asks.

"Not as easy at it was for Hibiya. Drunk in every damn class and still the top student. If he had stayed, he would have been valedictorian," Seiji grins, slapping my back as I reach for my shirt. I glare at him.

"That hurt, you asshole," I hiss.

"Sorry, princess."

I tug off my shirt and pull the other material over my head. The loose fitting white shirt with golden trim and no back that I hid in the back of the closet for a reason. Of _course _Seiji would pick that one out. When I unbutton my pants, Delic gawks at me.

"Chibiya!" he hisses.

"What? You've both seen me naked before," I say dimly. Delic turns to Seiji, who waggles his eyebrows suggestively. The blonde glares at him.

"Fine, fine. I'll go change in the bathroom," I sigh, remembering that I'll have to change my underwear too, thanks to Delic. I shuffle past them, going into the small washroom. I sigh as I observe my reflection.

I look the exact same I did when I left school. I look scared, tired, broken. Completely fucking miserable. I run my fingers through my hair and try to make myself look happy to be alive.

I like to lie to myself, what can I say?

I tug on fresh boxers and pants of the tighter variety. Delic likes when I dress 'scantily'. His words, not mine. I laughed the first time he said it. When I leave the bathroom, they're absorbed in a conversation, surprisingly not trying to kill each other. I quirk a brow.

"Ah, we're being friendly? I'm happily impressed," I say. Delic turns to me, his expression grim. I know immediately what they were talking about.

Me.

Seiji is looking at me appreciatively, like he always does. He likes to pretend to encourage me always.

"You look just like a chick," he grins.

"So you've said," I say.

Delic has his tongue poked against his bottom lip, so I know he's worried. My guess is that Seiji was telling him I look like I did back then. I look like I want to die.

And why wouldn't I? I mean really, why wouldn't I?

You're thinking, Delic. You're thinking, you and Delic are in love.

I'm thinking, he can find someone better. I'm thinking, I'm ruined.

"Ready to go?" Seiji asks, tugging on my bare arm. "Dude, your skin is even soft like a girl's. Are you sure you're not a woman?"

"I can attest that he's a man," Delic grins.

"You're both _so _funny. I mean, really. Who knew I was going out with two comedians?" I huff, tugging my arm away from Seiji and wrapping my hand in Delic's.

We head to the bar, Seiji offering to call a cab the whole way. Apparently, he hates walking. His phone rings, and he sighs as he answers it.

"Hey, Mika."

I roll my eyes at Delic, who laughs and swings our hands in the air.

"No. No! I already told you it's not like that! Seriously? You're being serious? Mika! It's not like that!"

I turn to look at him while his voice gets louder. He looks seriously pissed.

"Stop being jealous of Hibiya! Your weird insecurities about him freak me out!"

Delic looks at him too with his famous stare.

"Fine. I said _fine!_ Yeah, I know. Call later when you're not being a bitch," and he hangs up on her, turning to look at us.

"What the hell?" I ask.

"I was telling you earlier. Mika is crazy jealous of you. Always has been," he explains.

"Why?"

"Because, dude. You're...pretty. Don't look at me like that, Blondie, you know it's true! Anyway, she thinks we're fuck buddies."

"Does she know I'm in a relationship?" I ask.

"That's the beauty of a fuck buddy, Hibiya. It doesn't matter about having relationships."

"...Have you had many fuck buddies?"

"Used to. In school, you know. We weren't being exclusive then, so I didn't think it counted. She thinks we used to have sex, and now those worries are back I guess," he runs his hands through his hair. "Women are crazy..."

"I wouldn't worry about it. She'll realize we're just friends," I offer.

"Doubtful. She hasn't realized that yet, so I doubt she ever will. We're not gonna worry about that tonight though. Tonight is about you, kitty," he smirks.

I groan as we arrive outside the bar. A certain brunette just leveled her watery gaze on me.

"Hibi-chaaaaaaaaaaaan~!" Erika screams, running at me full force. I debate whether or not to run away, but I decide whatever pain she gives me, I deserve. She flings in my arms, her head landing like a bullet in my chest. I fall backwards, supported by both Seiji and Delic, who each have one of my arms.

"Erika! You almost killed him!" Delic hisses.

"He deserves it!" she says harshly, wrapping me in a death grip. "Do you have any idea how worried I was? And you couldn't pick up a goddamn phone? You were supposed to _call _me when you were going to see her! You promised! You little _bastard!_" her fists pound on my chest, no real power behind them.

"Erika... I'm really sorry, okay? I didn't think about it..." I say, feeling awful when I feel her tears running onto my shoulder.

She only hiccups, hugging me tighter.

"I thought... I really thought it would be a happy reunion... I'm so sorry, Hibi-chan..."

"Thanks," I say, my voice not as strong as I would like. "I'm really sorry...that I made you cry..." Fuck, my voice broke.

Erika pulls away and presses her lips against mine. Not in a sexual way, but meant to comfort me. Delic looks at us sadly when she pulls away, because both of us are crying now.

Fuck.

"Well, this is more emotion than I want to see. Let's go get drunk!" Seiji says, making Erika pull away from me to nod enthusiastically at him. They both go inside, Delic and I following them. He wipes my tears away as we walk.

Delic will be on stage more often than not tonight. Part of the band getting more popular is longer shows, and better pay. He kisses me chastely as he goes to meet the guys, leaving me with Erika and Seiji.

They're already drinking, Erika throwing shots back like they're glasses of milk and not burning alcohol.

"Are Masaomi and Mikado coming out tonight?" I ask her.

"Nah. Masa-chan had to work tonight, so I doubt Mikado will show. He's very handsy when he's drunk," she informs me.

"Oh, really? I never noticed," I say sarcastically. Seiji drapes an arm over me.

"If you want to drink tonight, I'll watch you."

"You will? Oh, great. That makes me feel better."

"Seriously? You can drink tonight? Do shots with me, Hibi-chan!" Erika squeals.

"Guys, I'm not supposed to..." I say.

"It'll make it up to me for making me cry~" Erika purrs.

Ah, Erika. Forever my bad influence.

I sit beside her, Seiji beside me. The bartender hands me a glass and refills theirs. Then, we throw them back.

And then, we do it again.

And again.

And again.

Finally, I feel better. Everything I was worried about, gone. I turn to look at Seiji, trying to figure out why the room won't stop spinning. He looks much the same as me, his face contorting into a frown as his gaze levels on me.

"Dude... You're wasted..." he says, putting his hand on my face.

"I'm not trash..." I slur, leaning back on Erika, who almost topples off her stool.

"What the fuck?" she grumbles. "Gravity just increased on me!"

"Don't say that! It might increase on all of us!" I tell her. I turn to down the newest shot, and I place my glass back in front of the bartender.

"I think you've had enough," he says.

"Nuh-uh. No sir, I need more," I tap my glass impatiently against the counter. He sighs and fills it again.

"Hibiya, you need to stop soon..." Seiji mumbles, taking my glass from me after I drink it.

"Please...don't make me stop..." I whimper, closing my eyes to try and stop the dizziness. "Please..."

His gaze softens and he puts a hand on my back.

"No more," he says. "You'll get sick."

The beauty of shots is that the alcohol travels very fast in the body due to the rate of consumption. I know these things, even drunk.

I know everything.

I'm so smart.

I could be a doctor.

I could work at a hospital.

I could save my sister.

No, wait. I _can't _save my sister. I can't save anyone. I can't...save myself.

I open my eyes again, the room still spinning. Nothing makes it stop. I see Delic coming toward me in my peripheral vision, and I hold my arms out for him.

"Chibiya?" he asks worriedly.

"Delic... Delic, save me..." I say, clinging to him. Kadota and Saburo are behind him, giving me a wide-eyed stare.

"Are you drunk?" Delic asks.

"No... No, I'm not...drunk..." I slur, grabbing him everywhere I can. "Delic...Delic..."

"We need to get you home..." he says.

"No, no... You have...gig..."

"Chibiya, it's already over. Do you even know where you are?"

"Hell...?"

He laughs dryly, lifting me up.

"Can you two make sure they get home?" he asks Kadota and Saburo, pointing to Erika and Seiji, who are passed out on the counter.

"Sure thing." Kadota says, walking over to them.

"Alright. See you later. C'mon, Chibiya..." he mumbles to me. I climb more onto him, wrapping my legs around his waist and burying my face in his neck.

"So good, Delic. I love you...Love you..."

"I love you too. I wish you didn't drink so much," he says.

I keep mumbling 'I love you' to him over and over, telling him how great he is. I wonder if he knows how great he is? If not, I'm sure he does now.

All of a sudden, the dizziness gets more intense. I moan lowly, wrapping more around Delic.

'I'm dying," I say.

"No you're not. You drank too much."

"No, I'm dying. Delic, save me..."

"Do you need to throw up?"

"Nooooouuuuuu..."

He sighs, placing me on the sidewalk.

"I think that's actually a yes," he says.

I open my mouth to argue, then I clamp my hand over it and run to a flower box outside an apartment complex, violently losing everything I've eaten today. Delic stands behind me and rubs my back soothingly.

"Easy, Chibiya... You'll feel better if you get it all out," he says gently.

"Dying..." I say, falling on my knees.

"You feel better? Do you want to try to go back home again?"

"Carry me..." I whine. He lifts me again.

"What am I going to do with you?" he sighs.

I drift in and out of consciousness the entire way, fighting more waves of nausea. I vaguely recognize the smooth surface of the bed sheets under me.

"Mmmmmmm..." I sigh happily, reaching up to him so I can pull him down. He complies, falling on top of me and covering me with his warm body. I only just realized I'm shivering.

"Cold...Tired...Sleepy..." I say.

"Drunk," he adds.

"And drunk..." I agree.

"This isn't going to be an everyday thing again is it?" he asks warily.

"I...hope not..."

Honestly, I don't know. I'll do whatever it takes to drown out these voices. These feelings. I'll do what I have to...

Whatever makes me forget.

* * *

_Sachi: Just took a break from writing to go to McDonald's. It was an interesting trip!_

_ Hibiya: Ugh, fast food. So unhealthy._

_ Sachi: Yup. Anyway, the cashier stared at me for like 2 minutes before he took my money, then when I was leaving, he stuck his head out the window to watch me drive away. Ah, men. So subtle._

_ Delic: Hey, I'm subtle._

_ Sachi: You're as subtle as a stick to the face._

_ Hibiya: Hah! That was actually funny!_

_ Delic: *pouts*_

_ Sachi: Anyway~, leave me a nice review for love! I decided to put the major plot development next chapter, after my experience last night made me want to write drunken Hibiya. Field work, I tell you! I love you~!_


	33. Chapter 33

_Toki keeps looking at me and meowing, but when I ask him why he doesn't answer... Ah, if only I spoke cat! You guys always review so much! I can't believe we've broken 400 reviews, and now are getting closer to 500. Holy shit, dude! On to my well-deserved love to you all~! __KoolaidShipping__, ah, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY! I love you MORE! __TooLazyToLogin__, not Izaya! This trolling was horribly done. Sadism is sexy! __KarkadeVantas__, unrequited love? How sad! I write like a goddess? THANK YOU SO MUCH! __jusqualafin__, Seiji was a little creeper in 'Fix You', ne? I sense you hate Seiji... Maybe because you told me you did? Y-You think my Izaya is perfect? OMIGAHHHH! I actually base him off myself in my stories, so that means a lot to me! Your review made me feel so wonderful! I FUCKING LOVE YOU TOO! Ah, and I have started a TsuPsy fic~. __Shiroi Hana__, nothing better than fast food guys flirting with you! If you thought that one was funny, I have YET another one for you. It's called "Kida Masaomi is a banana". Yup. __Quiet. crash__, haha that is quite the dream! If I made it entirely happy though, what would be the point in reading? __S. Oyabun__, he needs your support! __Logic Dive__, ah, he can't help it. Self-destruction is kind of a lifestyle. __Cael Luciano__, I love their rivalry too! Erika does need some help, ne? __BlueRoseDream__, it is NOT weird to eat fajitas for breakfast! If it is, then it must also be weird to eat hot wings at 3 am, which I have done before... __NighttimeFirefly__, don't get drunk unless you want to be embarrassed. UGHHHHH. __AllTheLovelyBrains__, I know! Over 400 blew my mind too! I'm so glad you love it! __Ganne200__, ah, thank you so much! Eh, trolling doesn't bother me, because if they're taking fanfiction seriously enough to act like it's their life to tell you how much they hate it, their lives must truly suck. Plot development, here we come~! __Rai Rai Blue__, ahaha, I know you have no clue what I look like, but the fact you called me beautiful made me happy! Nah, he didn't give me his number, but I have been flirted with by cops before! Just today I was at work and I told an officer I was going to give him a discount and he did that perverted up and down look before he said I was his new favorite person ever. I was like, um...thanks? I've never been given a number on the back of the ticket though! That sucks! __tsukicchan__, it is quite slow, huh? I put detail in it, so it makes it fill up more with drabble than anything. Most of you keep telling me you want it to be 100 chapters though, so I freak out over that concept! I'm thinking more along the lines of...50. __Bakaureshii__, you like Seiji? Ah, good. At least he has a few fans in this story! Most people still hate him from my other story, 'Fix You'. Anyway, I love you all! Time to torture Hibi-chan some more! On with the story~!_

* * *

_Syringe_

Only once could Hibiya remember when he actually saw his aunt. His mother's older sister.

It was about six months before she died of a drug overdose. She was at their mansion having dinner. Her arms were bruised and veiny, the blue lines protruding from her skin so it looked almost black. She was skinny and meek.

Hibiya watched her eat her dinner, or pick at it more like. His mother and aunt conversed like nothing was wrong or out of the ordinary in the least bit. His father sat near him, quietly eating without saying a word. Hibiya looked between all of them, his eyes searching Mairu's when his gaze landed on her.

She was looking at him with her large eyes, before she turned and spoke to the empty chair beside her. Hibiya laughed at her and her new imaginary friend. He hoped the new invention of his sister's mind could keep her occupied. He knew she was bored.

Finally, Hibiya could take the awkward atmosphere anymore, and he stood to excuse himself. His father nodded slightly to show he had heard, and Hibiya made his way into his bedroom.

Even in their huge house, he could hear the shouting start. His door opened, and Mairu came flinging in looking terrified. He tried to calm her down as the shouts continued from downstairs. His father sounded _furious_.

The next thing he knew, his aunt was outside his door looking distraught. Mairu stood with a sob and flung into her arms immediately, but Hibiya just sat there. She motioned for him to hug her too, but he shook his head.

Hibiya saw no reason to hug her. He would see her tomorrow since she was staying the week.

His aunt's gaze filled with moisture as she gave Mairu a kiss and a ruffle in her hair. She walked to Hibiya and kissed his forehead, flinching when he jerked away.

He just didn't understand. No one _ever _tried to touch him so lovingly before.

She looked at them sadly and left the room, leaving both children to think they would see her in the morning.

Sadly, she left that night, slipping out without announcing it to anyone.

Six months later, she was dead.

* * *

I. Feel. Like. _Shit_.

I woke up with my head wedged between Delic's shoulder blades. The blonde must have rolled over in the middle of the night, leaving me to blindly follow his body heat with my greedy body.

It took me multiple times to get out of bed, and eventually I made it to the kitchen to drink almost a _gallon _of water. My hangovers are always awful, but usually scarce. I know I got carried away last night.

Currently, I'm just now getting off work. I managed to make it through the day, despite having the sudden urge to vomit through most of it. I just couldn't afford to miss more work.

I'm actually dreading tonight. Delic has to work one of his shifts at Sal's, because he still works there two nights a week, and I'm going to be alone. I really don't think I can be by myself right now.

You're thinking, go with Delic. You're thinking, he won't mind.

I'm thinking, if I go to a bar, I'll drink. I'm thinking, Delic is probably mad enough at me for last night already.

I don't remember much of what happened, but I know since I blacked out, it means I got wasted. I didn't mean to let it get that bad, really. Once the shot glasses were in my hands, I couldn't put them down.

I make my way down the street, holding on to the sides of buildings as I go. I'm seriously still messed up. My body feels sluggish, and everything makes me want to shove my face in a toilet.

I try to decide where I can go tonight so I won't be alone. If I spend time with Seiji, Delic will get upset. The last thing I want is for Delic to feel like Mika does. Really, is my friendship with Seiji _that_ questionable? I've never thought of us as more than friends before. He's like a brother to me.

Brother makes me think of sister.

Sister makes me think of Mairu.

Mairu makes me think of Kururi.

Kururi makes me remember it's all my fault.

My head pounds again as I enter Delic's building, hoping to sleep beside him before he has to leave for work. My hopes are smashed when I open the door to find him dressed and getting ready to leave.

"Chibiya! I was trying to call you!" he tells me.

I look down to my pocket, feeling my phone. I flip it open to discover it's dead.

"Ah, I didn't charge it last night," I say.

He sighs, moving forward to collect me in a tight hug.

"I have to go in a little early. I'm glad you got home before I left."

"Me too..." I say, trying to hide the fear in my voice at the prospect of being alone. Delic begins to pepper light kisses on my ear, working his way down my neck, then along my jaw, then he licks my mouth lewdly, before his tongue invades mine.

"Ahhh..." I release into our lip lock, tangling my fingers through golden hair as I pull him closer. Our mouths move together, our tongues tangle around each other. He growls lowly as he nips my lips with his teeth.

Grinning, he pulls back, a strand of saliva stubbornly trying to keep us connected.

"You got that hot just from a kiss?" he laughs as he looks at my wanton expression. I mewl quietly, trying to catch his lips again.

"Could it be that you want me again?" he asks softly. I nod, licking his lips before I take control of the kiss we share. He pulls away again, leaving me to stare at him irritably.

"Tonight, I will be happy to oblige you," he purrs, kissing my forehead before he releases me, "Now, I have to go."

I whine in protest, causing him to laugh at me.

"I'll be back soon, Chibiya. Then, I can take _care _of you."

I shiver noticeably, watching as his eyes darken lustfully.

"Shit, you look so good right now..." he grumbles as he nears me again. I tug him closer, forcing my body on his to try and persuade him to see things my way. He kisses me heatedly, his hands roaming over the expanse of my lower back.

This time when he pulls away, he leaves me entirely as he goes to get his wallet from the bedroom. I pout in frustration, feeling my arousal slacken.

When he returns, he smiles at me warmly as he heads to the door.

"I love you," he says, "Charge your phone and text me if you get lonely~." he purrs. I realize he was teasing me the entire time, trying to get me riled up to punish me from last night as he gives me that Cheshire grin. I smirk back at him, deciding that two can play this game.

He goes outside the door, making his way down the hallway as I lean in the doorframe to watch him.

"Ah, since you're leaving me like this, I guess I'll have to take care of this problem myself," I say in my most velvet voice. He turns to look at me from down the hall, giving me a confused stare. I smirk deviously at him, before I bring three fingers to my mouth and suck them teasingly. His face grows dark and he turns his body entirely, freezing where he stands.

I roll my tongue over them, getting them lathered in saliva, and putting on _quite _the show if I do say so myself. Delic is watching me with a predatory look on his face.

"C-Chibiya..."

I moan in a lewd voice before I pull them out of my mouth, watching as the blonde shivers from my voice.

"Don't worry, Delic. I'll pretend these are you~," I say, grinning darkly at his flustered expression.

"Fuck..."

I turn to go back into the apartment, laughing quietly when I don't hear him walking away. I know he's just standing there, trying to decide what to do. Eventually, his footsteps die away, so I know I'll be in for it later. Worth it, I think.

Now begins my dilemma. I look around the empty space, feeling much colder than before. I rub my arms idly, trying to will myself to feel better.

As soon as Delic left, I remember I'm hung over. I groan as I flop into the bed, fishing my dead phone out of my pocket. I roll over to find an outlet, before I connect my phone to the charger. It turns on immediately, and once it loads, I receive messages that I missed since it died.

_[I think I threw up my intestines...] _from Erika. I grin slightly as I type a response that says I did the same thing.

_[Dude, not cool. I'm so hung over.] _from Seiji.

_[Me too.] _I send.

Then, I receive a new one from Delic.

_[That little stunt you pulled is going to cause you a lot of trouble later. I'd call in if I were you. You won't be walking tomorrow.]_

I shudder in anticipation at his message, before I remember that I'm trying to one-up him.

_[Ah, is that so? I'm still pretty satisfied from my fingers~] _I send.

I stare at the wall after I send it, losing focus on the actual surface as my eyes glaze over. I groan from the throbbing in my head and roll over, burying myself in the covers that smell like Delic. My phone buzzes.

_[Crisis! Are you free?] _from Erika. I frown before I type a response.

_[Yeah, Delic's at work. You want to come here?]_

_ [On my way.] _she sends in less than a minute.

I wrack my brain to try and figure out what could be wrong with her. As I'm absorbed in this, my phone buzzes again.

_[Shit, did you really fuck yourself with your fingers? I'm getting images and I really want them to be real.] _from Delic. I laugh at this, knowing full well that I'm lying to him.

_[I did. They almost didn't fit because I'm still so tight~]_

I think to myself what my parents would say if they knew how I turned out. What Mairu would say if her mind wasn't clouded by figments of her imagination. How they would feel if they knew their precious little burden of a prince was sending dirty messages to his _lover_. This makes me grin in spite of myself.

Nothing's worse than a boring life, ne?

_[You just made me hard. Tell me, did you scream my name when you came?] _Delic sends.

_[I did. Only after I entered all three though. I had to move so fast it made me sweaty.] _I send.

_[Mmmmm, were they as good as me?]_

_ [Of course not. I need to be filled, Delic. Can you come do that for me?]_

I can only imagine what he's doing while he's reading this. Maybe he's excusing himself to go to the restroom?

_[Fuck, I want to so bad... I'm still picturing you and those nimble fingers.]_

_ [Wishing they were your fingers instead?]_

_ [Mmmmm, yeah. Stretching you for my dick.]_

That, my friends, is Delic's vulgarity coming through. I'd censor it, but I really don't care to. I _love _this simplistic animal side of him. I feel my skin heating up as I type.

_[Tossing my legs over your shoulders?]_

_ [Fuck, yeah...]_

"Hibi-chan, what _are _you doing?" I hear as I'm forming a new message.

I jump a mile in the air at the voice, hiding my phone under me as Erika lets herself into the apartment.

"You have the same look on your face Walker did when I caught him reading porn once," she informs me.

"I-I was just... Wait, how'd you get here so fast?" I say incredulously.

"I took a taxi."

"Since when do you have expendable money to toss around so cavalierly?" I ask.

"Since I sold more stuff."

I run my hands through my hair as I sigh at her. I _hate _that she sells drugs.

"What's your crisis?"

"Oh, let me use the bathroom first," she says, running into the tiny space and closing the door. I take my phone out and finish my message.

_[I need you so bad right now. I'm about to have to start using my fingers again.]_

_ [Can you send pictures?]_

_ [Come see it yourself.]_

_ [I'm picturing it. Trying not to come.]_

I laugh as I decide we need to end it here before Delic quits his job to come fuck me. He doesn't really _need _it anymore, but he's always telling me we need to have money saved up.

_[Erika's here so I have to go. Text me if you need me. Love you.]_

_ [Love you too. No drinking please.]_

Erika walks out of the bathroom at this moment to come flop beside me on the bed.

"Walker is thinking of leaving me," she says so quietly I barely hear her.

"Why?"

"According to him, I'm relapsing..."

I remember what Delic told me a little while ago about how Erika had her wild days the same time he had his.

"He thinks you're partying too much?" I ask.

"More like he knows. He had to pay off our middle man because I was stealing shit."

I frown at her, not knowing what she means.

"It means I was stealing drugs from our supplier. Everything he gives us, we're supposed to sell."

"Then why did you steal-?"

"I don't _know_, alright? I just...did. I had to! Have you ever done heroin, Hibi-chan?" she asks. I shake my head at her.

"It's... I mean, there are no words. You've done weed before, I know. It's so much better than that. It makes you feel like anything can be done, and that life doesn't suck so bad, even though you know it does."

"You've...been doing heroin again?"

She nods sadly.

"I don't think I can stop."

Then, that little voice that's been pestering me non-stop since I saw Mairu comes back. The one that tells me over and over again how ruined I am. The one that only shuts up when I'm not sober. The one that agreed with her whole-heartedly that I'm one who lied to her the most.

"You say it's...euphoric?" I ask.

"Almost as good as sex."

I bite my lip, thinking back to how good I felt last time I was high. I've read about opiates, and I know the risk. I know everything about everything, remember?

"Do you...have some now?"

She nods.

"I packed clean syringes in my purse in case I met a potential buyer," she says, catching my drift. "Are you sure you should... I mean, Delic will be really mad."

The truth is, I'm thinking of this _for _Delic. If it can make me feel happy again, it'll make him happy too. I know if I do a small dose, it'll wear off faster, but I'm too afraid to do a large hit. With my luck, I'd overdose the first damn time.

"I just... I'm thinking about it..." I admit.

She places her hand on my thigh and squeezes it gently.

"Listen, Hibi-chan. I know you're miserable right now even if you're trying to pretend you're not. Don't...decide something like this without being sure first. It's hard as hell to quit this stuff," she says.

"I know..."

"I don't want you to."

"I... I need _something_. I just want to stop feeling so useless..."

"You're not useless. Why don't you go see your sister again?"

"She hates me..."

"Write her a letter?"

Ah, that's actually not a bad idea. Of course, it doesn't solve my fucking problems. I want what's in that needle, but I'll refrain. I can't hurt Delic like that.

No matter how much I want it.

And _God_, do I want it.

"Feeling better?" she asks.

"A little. Will you...stay with me until Delic gets home?"

"Of course! Did you want to smoke a bowl?" she asks, pulling out the same kind of pipe Saburo had. At least I know what to expect from weed. I nod as her face breaks into a wide grin.

All our problems forgotten for now, though they still remain. Walker is still pissed at Erika, and I'm still considering shooting up. I'm still thinking I'm ruined. Destroyed. Beyond repair.

You're thinking, please don't. You're thinking, Delic will be so sad if you shoot up.

I'm thinking, I don't need it yet. I'm thinking, I probably will.

And together, we're all thinking, when will it ever fucking stop?

* * *

_Sachi: Is anyone going to kill me? I feel like I'm going to be killed._

_ Hibiya: Are you turning me into a junkie?_

_ Delic: Am I getting laid?_

_ Sachi: Reviews answer these questions faster, my lovelies! Bahahahaha~!_

_ Hibiya: I'm telling Izaya you started a TsuPsy fic before his._

_ Sachi: D: Nooo!_

_ Delic: Seriously... Am I getting laid again?_


	34. Chapter 34

_Ahhh, another update! Before we start, I have a little tiff to pick. A __**lovely **__anon informed me today that Hibiya's last name is Subarashii, and I'm not right for saying it's Orihara. (Not in such a nice way) For those who may not know, that's the full name of the character song Izaya sings that brought Hibi-chan to life. Now, with that said, this is my story. So I'll name him whatever the fuck I want. And if you don't like it, don't read it. I think it's simple enough, but then again I'm not a complete moron. Now, for those of you who have more than half a brain cell, we can get started! Let me say, I LOVE YOU GUYS! I have so much love for you that if you felt it all at once, you'd totally explode! And it's from this love that I'm rewarding you with lemon this chapter. (because we've been so dramatic recently, I feel it'll be a relief. So, let's get the virtual love over with! __wheezerteebs__, ahh, I know. It's supposed to be crazy though, so it only means I'm going in the right direction! The reason being that Hibi-chan is the narrator. Toki does tons of things to annoy me! He's a master at opening doors, so he slams them open and makes me jump ALL THE TIME. Mean kitty. __KarakadeVantas__, don't kill Hibi-chan! Ahaha, he has enough problems! Also, I'm so glad you love it! But you can't get addicted to weed. So if anyone ever tells you they are, tell them they're full of stupid! And if they argue, bitch slap them into oblivion! __Logic Dive__, I provide your fix? That makes me a dealer! Heh, Hibi-chan DOES need some guidance! __BlueRoseDream__, haha, I've seen it! It was funny! __NighttimeFirefly__, Toki is actually sitting behind my head right now. I get uneasy when he does this, because I feel he's plotting my doom. __Delic-sama__, ahhh, but you will have a good time! I'm sorry, Delic-sama! __Rai Rai Blue__, I'm a brilliant tease? Ah, I've been told that before, but under different circumstances! *ahem* I mean, thanks! I would love to know what Toki thinks about me! He stares at me like I'm stupid, but he never leaves my side, so I'm confused. Ahhh, that drawing. The character that started it all! Back in middle school, my friend and I invented a comic book series, and they always told me the main character I invented was just like me, so eventually they all started calling me 'Sachi' (her name.) And eventually, we sort of merged, so now whenever I draw myself in manga form, I'm Sachi. That particular picture is me dressed as Tsuki. And it's awful because I can't edit it and make it brighter on this stupid laptop! *throws vending machine* __Ganne200__, I do believe it's good logic to ignore trolls, until they tell me how to write. I feel if they were so mighty, they should have enough balls to have an account. But maybe that's just me and my professional trolling side kicking in? I shall update soon for you, my dearest! __Shiroi Hana__, hahaha! I knew you'd like it! Also, I have 2 more for you to watch that you'll like! First is 'Izaya Old Spice' and next is 'Shizuo Old Spice'. He maaaaaaay write the letter~. I always long for angst. Part of being a sadist. __tsukicchan__, you think it was hot? Don't be mad at me for the junkie thing! Meh! 100 chapters? You're trying to kill me! __Quiet. Crash__, Walker and Erika have to have their own set of problems! That's part of the drama! __Cael Luciano__, Trust me, there will be so much more angst you'll want to KILL me. Also, hope you liked the TsuPsy! __TooLazyToLogin__, I love Regular Show! Yeeeeeaaaaauuuuuhhh! I do get your drift! I'll put on something short. *lifts eyebrows* __LimeCrayons__, agreed, but I have to do what my plot bunnies tell me! __KoolaidShipping__, don't faint! The love is overbearing for now, but you'll get used to it! __Paranormal Alchemist__, I've never used Twitter. I've heard it's addicting though! __shizayalover1623__, I'm glad you loved it so far even if it's sad! Your PM made my day! Anywho, thanks for reading and reviewing! On with the story~!_

* * *

_Annihilate Me_

At about three in the morning, Erika is lying on top of me on the couch. Well, more or less on top of me. She's mostly hanging off, laughing a little to herself.

We smoked... I don't know, let me think. Three or four bowls? If you don't know how much that it, good. You probably don't need it then. For those of us who can't stand to be sober, you know how much that is.

My limbs alternate between feeling light and heavy. Currently, I'm heavy, and I'm too lazy to get up. Erika had the same problem, which is why she gave up on sitting up, and chose to use me as a pillow, making me fall into the cushions.

Wearily, I turn my head to observe the mess we made in the kitchen. Part of being high on Marijuana means getting so hungry you think you'll die. In our case, we couldn't find any instant food, so I was forced to cook. I'm still wearing the apron she made me wear. If you're wondering where she got it, I chose not to ask. She always carries such weird things in her purse, I can only imagine what her sex life with Walker is like. Ew, wait. No I can't.

I made spaghetti, which is _no _easy feat when you're stoned. It took me almost three minutes to figure out the oven wasn't even on, which was why the water wasn't boiling. After I finally made it, we ate like we hadn't eaten all day. In my case, I really hadn't.

"You make spaghetti better than Italy!" she had said between mouthfuls.

"Italy isn't one person," I had said dryly.

"_Someone _hasn't seen Hetalia. Italy is an _adorable _person."

"...What?"

This made her go into a fit of laughter, then a very long-winded explanation. Now I know her favorite countries are America, Italy, Germany, and for some reason Prussia. I never knew they were people.

I look down to see the strings of the pink apron visible from under her. I can't decide if I should take it off or leave it on, mainly because it requires effort to move. Erika shifts, and rolls over so she's almost straddling me, which would be weird if it was anyone else. With her it's like family doing it to you. In my case though, I don't guess that means too much.

"I'm still hungry," she says.

"There's more spaghetti up there."

We're clutching to the last shreds of our high, worn down by food. We've eaten so much already I'm surprised we're not massive, but I'm still too groggy to care.

"I can't move though!" she whines.

"...Then be hungry?" I offer. She starts to pinch my arms.

"You're such a meanie!"

"I am not! I'm tired!"

She relents, flopping back down on top of me, her face going into my shoulder.

"What...will I do if Walker leaves me?" she asks quietly. I sigh.

"He won't leave you if you try to get better," I tell her.

"I _have _been trying to get better. Did you know out of every addict who seeks treatment for drug abuse, only 6% actually recover and stay recovered? The others either never actually quit, or relapse."

"That's a very low percentage."

"It's because once you've done it, you realize how boring life is without it!" she wails.

"That's just your addiction talking. You have fun either way, I know it. You just have to want to move past it."

"...Does this mean you've moved past things?" she asks wryly.

"I've tried," I say. "It's not that easy, and I know it's not. I guess that's why I'm not mad at you. I know it's too hard sometimes. It's easier to give up."

She nods, her hands going to play with my hair. Something else that would be weird if it wasn't her doing it.

"At least someone gets it..." she sighs.

"Yeah... At least someone gets it," I agree. We fall into silence after that, her still playing with my hair. I'm actually almost asleep when the door opens.

Delic is standing in the doorway with his eyebrows raised. I wonder how this must look to him, me under Erika. But he knows it's just Erika, and he has no reason to worry. If it was _Seiji_, I'd be in for it.

As is, he just walks in and lifts her up, making her cry in protest.

"Do I need to call a cab for you? I don't think Walker will want you here all night," he says gently.

"He won't care."

"He cares. He called me to ask where you were, and I said you were with Chibiya."

"...Yeah, call a cab..."

He does, and when he hangs up he gives her a hug and tells her not to worry. If things don't work out, she can stay with us. I wonder idly if this is how he feels with me. If he thinks he has to take care of me like we do for Erika.

I don't know when I closed my eyes, but I open them when I hear the door close.

"Wha..." I mumble. I feel warm weight on top of me.

"I've been waiting all night for this," Delic purrs, crawling on me. His gaze is hungry and predatorily fixed on me. I groan, trying to show him I'm too tired.

Unfortunately, he doesn't care what I want right now.

"Pink apron?" he asks, untying the strings.

"Erika..." I mumble. "I made dinner."

He leans down to kiss along my jaw, making me instinctively arch into him. I decide to just let him do as he pleases, and I grip my fingers in golden locks.

"Dinner, huh? I guess I'll eat later..." he says as he lifts me to pull the apron over my head. I let go of him and lift my arms to comply, when I feel my shirt being lifted too.

"In a hurry?" I ask, stifling a moan as he licks one of my nipples.

"I'll have you know that what you did earlier made me almost quit my job. And those texts you sent made me have to go to the bathroom to have some fucking _privacy_."

"Ahaha, so I _did _get to you?" I laugh, feeling incredibly accomplished. He growls and moves to bite my neck as his hands move to my groin.

"I've been picturing it all night," he groans, "How good it would feel to do this to you..."

"_Ahhhhh_, D-Deli..." I whimper as he applies force. I decide to dig my hole even deeper, since I'm in the mood for a little pain. "Did you...touch yourself? Pretending it was me?" I ask breathily into his ear. He shivers.

"And if I did?" he recovers. "How did those fingers feel, Chibiya?" His hands un-do my pants, and pull them down. I almost yelp when he palms me through my boxers.

"Mmmm... Felt so good," I say. "Not as good as you though, _master~_."

He hisses, yanking my boxers down and thrusting three of his fingers into my mouth.

"I'll do it this time," he says. I don't argue with him.

I choose to take this teasing thing as far as I can, and I lick his fingers slowly. I keep my gaze locked on his half-lidded one. I can feel his erection against my thigh, so I lift it up to rub him slightly. He whines quietly, so I suck his fingers all at once to speed it up.

"Put them in..." I say quietly. He slithers one in slowly, his gaze still locked on mine.

"You weren't kidding..." he sighs blissfully. "You're still so tight..."

I lose sight of the dark magenta orbs when he enters the other one. I close my eyes and bite my lip, trying to stifle myself still. He pulls them out, and then he slams them back in knuckle-deep.

"Nnnnnnn!" I release, giving up on trying to be quiet.

"Does it feel good?" he asks smugly, knowing full well it does. "Do you want more?"

"Please..." I say, opening my eyes to observe his lustful gaze. He leans down to kiss me as he thrusts all three in at once, curling them to find my sweet spot. I suck on his tongue to try and distract myself from the slight stinging that always accompanies this part. When he finds it, I almost scream.

"Ahhhhhhnnnn! There! Delic..."

He grins and thrusts them into the spot again, making me cling to him and cry out against his shoulder.

"Please... Please, Delic..."

"Do you want it now?" he asks gruffly.

"Ahhhh, please..."

"Please, what? Tell me what you want~"

"Want you... Want you inside me..."

He growls lowly and nips my ear with his teeth.

"Tell me what I want to hear, baby. Tell me..."

I whimper and grab his hair, tugging his mouth to mine. He devours me heatedly, his other hand moving to cup my face. When he pulls away, saliva keeps us connected until he wipes it away.

"Tell me..." he says again.

"I want... I want you to thrust into me and make me scream your name until we're both spent. And I... I want you to be rough this time..." I add. He purrs in approval before he undoes his pants, freeing his probably painful arousal by now. His fingers pull out of me, leaving me with an uncanny feeling of hollowness until I feel him begin to push something _much _bigger inside.

"_Haaahhhhh~! _Aaahhhh, Delic..." I arch into him again, my hands moving to pull his shirt over his head so I can marvel at his toned chest. I love watching his muscles in action when he fucks me.

"Fuck..." he says through clenched teeth as my inner walls spasm around him. "Y-You're sucking me in..."

"Rough...Delic... Be rough..." I plead. He looks at me skeptically before I take initiative and wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him in to the hilt.

"Ahhh..." he breathes, adjusting very quickly to the new fast pace. His hands move to my hips, and he pulls out as he guides me to meet him again when he thrusts back in. I throw my head back and cry out, trying to remember anything rational.

I can't.

"Better?" he asks huskily.

"Harder..." I say.

He pries my legs away from his waist and throws them over his shoulder, like I said in our texts. He picks up a new pace that leaves him _slamming _in, me draped over him like a quilt.

"Aaahhhh! Ahhhnnn, Delic! Delic~!" I scream shamelessly, his mouth lax against my neck, sending moist breath over my skin.

"Chibiya... You...feel so good..." he says. "I'm still...amazed by your...flexibility..." he adds, laughing slightly. I cross my legs behind his head to bring his mouth down to mine.

He kisses me _hard_, swallowing my whimpers as he drives in, riding me so hard I feel like a used race horse. In the best way, of course.

I'm high. Shut up.

When he pulls away, the instant mantra of his name begins. I say it over and over and _over_, his forehead leaning against mine.

"I love you..." he almost whispers so I can hardly hear him.

"Nnnnmmmm, l-love you...too..."

I see white when I reach my climax, exploding on his chest. I kiss his face everywhere, eventually locking my mouth to his when he starts to tremble in my grasp. He comes inside of me, filling me to the brim with the warm liquid. I mewl happily, overwhelmed by the feeling of him destroying my sanity so easily.

He _annihilated _me.

He falls on top of me, releasing my legs so they fall too. We kiss again and again, trying to indulge even more in each other than we already have. He pulls out, and I close my eyes wearily, about to drift off into a peaceful sleep...

"No way," he says gruffly. "Wake up."

"Whyyyy?" I whine. I open my eyes to see his animal gaze back on his face. He lifts me up, moving me to straddle his lap.

"I want to try it this way," he says.

I look at him questioningly until he lowers his hand to guide his amazingly still erect arousal inside of me again.

"Ahhhh, fuck..." I whimper, lowering my head to his shoulder. I'm still oversensitive from my previous orgasm, so just him entering me is enough to get me hard all over again.

"I want you to ride me," he commands in my ear, making me shiver involuntarily. I lift my hips to hover over him, before I bring myself back down. He clenches his eyes shut and bites his lip, thrusting up to meet me.

"Fuuuuuuck," he hisses. "I love you so fucking much..."

"Hah... You have...such foul-_ahhhhh,_ language...when we're fucking..." I tell him.

"You do too..." he laughs, gripping my thighs to help guide me.

I develop a new pace, him working against me to deepen his thrusts. I feel my eyes rolling back in my head as he starts to slam in again. He lifts one hand to grip the back of my neck and pull me into another heated battle of teeth and tongues.

He grips my hair as he climaxes first, his other hand kneading my thigh. I follow after him immediately when I feel even more of his release inside of me.

"Mmmm, God..." I whine, falling against his shoulder to try and catch my breath. He's panting too, his mouth open against my neck.

"That...was _perfect_..." he says. I nod to show I'm listening, but I'm already fading from consciousness again.

It's at this moment he lifts me and places me on the couch, him hovering over me.

"Are you _serious_?" I ask incredulously as he enters me again, making me grip the couch cushion so hard I'm sure I ripped them. "Nnnghhh, Delic, _fuck_."

Ah well.

That's what I get for being in love with a sexaholic, ne? I'll remember this next time I purposely tease him. Either way, he made good on his promise.

I'm _definitely _going to have a hard time walking tomorrow.

* * *

_Sachi: Nothing better than mindless smut to ebb us away from the angst, if only for a chapter._

_ Hibiya: How much longer do we have?_

_ Sachi: I've decided, no more than 50 chapters. So, we're almost done, my lovelies!_

_ Delic: I. LOVE. This. Chapter._

_ Sachi: Of course __**you **__do. I'm actually excited to see how you're going to react to what I have planned! I'm sure I'll get some death threats! (I've had them before...) I think it'll be good though! Ahhhh, I can't WAIT! Review for a quicker update! I'm off the next two days, and I'm easily swayed to write faster! *winks*_

_ Hibiya: Calm down, you plebian!_

_ Delic: *still content*_


	35. Chapter 35

_Ahhh, I'm the world's worst updater! I um...got lost on the path of life...? Okay, fine. I've been watching Hetalia nonstop for days whenever I got the chance. NONE OF YOU CAN JUDGE ME! Seriously, I'm in love with America and Italy~! (which is pure narcissism on my part, since I'm both American and Italian... ah, and German. And a vast abundance of other heritages because I'm from the melting pot of the world where we're like, "eh, come on in.") And of course, this means I've been skimming the archive of Hetalia on this website too, and I found something really disturbing! There are users on this site that read and report the lemon stories and have them removed! How awful! As if it's not bad enough that they're trying to censor us, now they have fucking spies? I say, we attack them back! You know, once we find out how they work and such. (That's the American way!) But, enough of my blabbering. I tell you this in fair warning, because it means we're ALL in danger of having our stories reported. And I, for one, think that's total bullshit. But, enough of that. Today, I had to work AGAIN. I swear, I work about as much as I read, which is A LOT for me. Deborah and myself cut up a lot though. Ah, did I forget to mention? I base characters off of real life. Deborah exists, just in an ENTIRELY different way. Ahaha, she's so ghetto! I love her! Once she threatened to take her nails and slap this guy I work with because he wouldn't stop being a pervert. Erika is my sister, my forever bad influence! Seiji is based off my friend I've had since middle school. We have QUITE the odd relationship! Hibi-chan is sort of based off me, but not entirely. If you ever want to truly know what I'm like, read 'Fix You' in my stories. I'm 100% Izaya Orihara, baby! Now, for my love to you! (since I just noticed how hiffin' LONG this A/N is getting! D:) __incidentalmusic__, ahaha, glad it helped you out! We all need...release every now and then~. __KarkadeVantas__, queen? YES! Now I can sip tea and order you around! My first command: come watch Hetalia with meeeeeeeee! __DeliWillRapeHibiyaWithACrowb ar__, ah, I'm so glad you reviewed! The fact that you first trolled me, and then added me to your favorite authors list made me like, "I don't get it at all!" But, it means a lot to me! __shizayalover1623__, I think writing needs angst, but that could just be me. You'll find the greatest stories on this website will be dramas! I'm so glad you like mine! __tsukicchan__, I'm sorry, my dear! But all good things must come to an end! And, I really don't want to start adding filler chapters. It'll ruin the story if I do! __BlueRoseDream__, I eat junk food all the time too... We actually ate giant hamburgers and milkshakes today for dinner...*sigh* Ah, I'm not sure about the smut from this point on... __NighttimeFirefly__, ah, thanks! Glad someone trusts me! __Burning-Petals__, ahahaha, I've been threatened with my other stories. Some of them threatened themselves though... They said things like, "If you don't update I'll kill myself and blame you!" so of course, I debated on whether or not to update for a while, just to see if I received a finger in the mail or something. Alas, I never did get my fingers... Ah, also, I've been reading your story! I really like it! I was wondering though if you'd like a beta? I was reading your A/N's and you kept saying you wished you could fix the grammar mistakes, so if you'd like me to help you, I will! __TooLazyToLogin__, dead baby jokes? Hm, I'm intrigued. I tell those sometimes, but no one laughs because the sticks up their asses won't let them! I shall wear short clothing for you, my love! __Logic Dive__, if I'm your dealer, WHERE MY MONEY? Haha, pay me in looooooove! Or, PASTAAAAAAAAAA! __Shiroi Hana__, okay, okay, I have the GREATEST one for you yet! ALL of you, go to youtube right now and type in "__**Like a bartender, Shizuo**__". I swear, you will laugh till you die. Thank you for not letting them death threat me! __jusqualafin__, all caps? Ah, okay. THANK YOU VERY MUCH AND I REALLY DO LOVE YOU! __aurorage__, oh wow. You wrote so much! Ahaha, you get so mad at Hibi-chan! But, you get it! I told you all he was still going to be his usual bratty self, didn't I? And most of you think he's all nice and submissive, but no. He's selfish because of his actions. Once again, thank you for caring so much for my wellbeing! I'm actually a very level headed person, it's just sometimes I like to try and drown out my nagging conscience, because I have a very strong sense of self-control. I feel it makes me not be able to have as much fun as most people my age do... I really love you too! __Braverly-Homunculus__, I think Hibi-chan did indeed learn his lesson! __KoolaidShipping__, yes, angst makes its return! MUAHAHAHAHA! __Cael Luciano__, I'm glad you love it! __Ganne200__, those are my favorites too! Although, I must say, Britain has been growing on me. Him and his massive man brows. __Quiet. Crash__, ahhh, Delic did use a rather big word! But we have to keep in mind, he's done it so much that he could probably balance a tea set on his head or something, if he wanted. WHAT? I'm just saying! __Rai Rai Blue__, vacation? Hope you had fun! Glad you liked my smutty scenes! Anyway guys, this A/N is officially massive. Do I babble too much? Ah, well. ON WITH MY FRACKING SMACKING STORY!_

* * *

_Letters to you_

"Hibiyaaaaaa! Teach meeeeee!"

Hibiya looked up from his book at the now screeching child.

"Teach you what?"

"How to reeeeeeaaaaaaad!"

Mairu was angry because Hibiya told her he wanted to finish the chapter he was on before he played with her.

"Mairu, I can't just teach you everything right _now_," he explained. "I'm still reading this myself. Can I teach you later?"

"NOOOOOOOO!"

He sighed, placing his book on the coffee table. He turned to look at the little girl, who was currently trying to climb on the couch beside him.

"Alright, we're starting small. You're only 4 years old, so if I teach you the entire alphabet and some small words, you'll already be ahead of most kids your age," he told her.

They started with 'A', and made their way to 'Z'. Very slowly, Mairu began to grasp the concept, and she learned to recognize the letters. She began to grow frustrated when she couldn't form words with them.

"Relax. You're doing really well! If we keep this pace up, you'll be reading books by next week!" Hibiya said, trying to calm her down.

"It's no good! I need to learn it now!"

"Mairu... Why are you so keen on learning this? You're still young; school should be the _furthest _thing from your mind."

She turned her tear filled ruby gaze to him.

"If I don't learn big girl stuff, Hibiya won't play with me anymore!" she wailed.

"Wha... Where did you hear that? I'll play with you either way," he told her incredulously, pulling her into his lap.

"I just know... You'll get older and you'll read your books and I'll be all alone and I won't be able to read..." she mumbled into his shirt.

"Ahaha, Mairu! Trust me, Mother and Father would never let you be illiterate! You'll learn it whether I teach you or not."

"What if I don't? What if you leave me and write me happy letters and I won't be able to read them?" she challenged.

"Then I'll draw you pictures."

"You can't draw."

"...That's beside the point, Mairu."

"Oh, okay."

"I swear, if that ever happened I would come see you all the time. And if I couldn't see you, I'd write you until my hand fell off!" he said morbidly, laughing at the horrified expression she gave him.

"If your hand falls off you wouldn't be able to write me anymore! Promise me you won't let your hand fall off!"

"...I promise."

They spent the remainder of the afternoon writing small words. Eventually, Mairu learned to grasp the concept.

Hibiya never did finish that particular book he was trying so hard to get back to.

* * *

I'm sitting at the kitchen table, a blank piece of paper in front of me. What am I supposed to say?

_Dear Mairu,_

_Sorry I suck so much._

_ Love, Hibiya._

Seems accurate. I have no clue what to say. What _can _I say? It won't fix anything. It won't tell her exactly how I feel. At the end of the day, it'll just be a letter. One more of the many things I've made her read over the years.

Delic moves behind me and looms over my shoulder.

"Are you trying to draw a picture?" he asks cheerfully. I haven't missed the extra bit of gusto in his persona today. He's in a great mood after last night. Five times in one night. Really, I have no clue how we managed to survive that.

"No. I'm trying to write something..."

"Oh? Is it a naughty letter to me~?"

"No! If I wanted to tell you something naughty, I'd just tell you face to face!" I huff at him.

"Ahahahaha~! I'm glad for that! So, who are you writing to?"

"...Mairu..."

He grips my shoulders and moves closer to me.

"Are...you alright?"

"Yeah. I'm just... There's so much I _could _say. None of it seems worth writing down though. I've reached an impasse."

He kisses the back of my head and exhales sharply, coughing a bit.

"It'll come to you. Just don't sweat it."

I nod at him, frowning when he leaves me to go get dressed.

"Where are you going?" I call to him.

"You mean _we_. We're going to my latest gig," he tells me.

I just got home from work, and Delic just woke up an hour ago. Let me tell you, moving around today was _no _easy task. Deborah actually asked me if I was pretending to be a pirate with a peg leg because I was limping so much at first.

"Gig? I'm not sure if I should... I might drink..."

"Seriously? Chibiya, haven't you ever heard of a little thing called saying no? It's easy to do."

I glare at him from my place at the table.

"I know how to say no, you plebian. I'd just rather drink if I'm around it."

"And I'd rather you not. And since I'm stronger than you, I'd say that means I'm right."

I huff at him, thinking this over.

"Please don't drink. Please? You scare me when you drink."

How the hell am I supposed to say no to such a thing?

"Fine, fine. But I want it to be acknowledged that I actually made a mature decision."

I stand from the table and follow him out of the apartment, hand in hand. Standing outside the building, under the streetlight that's slowly lighting up, is Seiji.

"Yo, Hibiya!"

"Seiji? Why are you here?"

"I'm playing at Sal's tonight too," he says, slinking an arm around me. Delic huffs, but doesn't pitch a fit like he normally would. "Kadota told me Blondie here would be heading that way, so I was waiting."

"Sal's? That's where we're going?" I ask the tall blonde.

"Yup. It's my home turf, you know. That's where most of my fans hang out the most."

"Sal _hates _you."

"He hates everyone. I know it's a shady place, but it's good for us to play there sometimes. You'll find that the shadiest people need music the most," Delic explains.

"If you say so. If I never had to see that man again, I'd be just fine," I say.

"Sal? What's wrong with him?" Seiji asks suddenly.

"He's a perverted beast with an I.Q. of 3."

Delic laughs at this, but Seiji still looks confused.

"Perverted? I didn't notice that."

"Trust me, he is."

We slowly walk to the all too familiar bar, the smoke cloud that always surrounds it becoming more and more obvious with every step. Delic leads us inside, Seiji casting me Cheshire grins the entire time due to Delic's vexed expression.

Erika is working tonight, dressed in her usual slinky top and short skirt. She sees us and waves frantically, and I notice a tall man sitting on the stool in front of her.

"Walker! Man, I haven't seen you in forever!" Delic greets, slapping the man on the back.

"I know! I've been working really hard lately!" Walker says, standing to pull him into a loose hug. He observes me beside him.

"Well, well. Hibiya, it's been _way _too long. You seem to be the one Erika spends all het time with these days. Tell me, should I be jealous?"

"I, uh... No?"

"Ahahahaha! You look so scared! I know Erika wouldn't cheat on me," he laughs.

"Hibi-chan! You look tired. I slept awesome after last night. Weed always makes me so tired," Erika says, running from around the bar to hug me.

"I _was _tired," I huff, casting a sideways glare at the grinning blonde. "But after a few hours, I was really awake."

"Oh? Insomnia?"

"...Something like that."

Walker and Seiji are introducing themselves when someone else touches my shoulder.

"Hibi-chan~!" Masaomi greets, tacking me in a crazy bear hug. Mikado puts a hand on my shoulder and shakes his head at the enthusiastic blonde.

"He's missed you like crazy. Every second it was, 'I wonder what Hibi-chan's doing'."

"Of course! How can you not look at him and be in love?" Masaomi sings, nuzzling into me. Seiji laughs and hugs me too, sandwiching me between them.

"Agreed!" he laughs, and they start squeezing.

"Hey! HEY! You're killing me!" I say, frantically trying to escape. You'd think Delic would be upset by this, but he's _laughing_. Apparently it's _hilarious _when I'm being made into a giant fucking panini.

"We get him for a threesome first!" Erika calls, motioning to Walker. To my horror, he nods.

"Delic!" I whine, making him finally intervene and lift me into his arms.

"Heh. Sorry, but your pissed off expression is so cute."

"You're the worst boyfriend ever!"

Seiji grins at us, then looks around for someone. My stomach plummets.

"Seiji, please tell me you're not waiting for who I think you're waiting for," I plead.

"Afraid so," he laughs.

"Mika's coming here? Ugh, all I need right now is some stupid lecture on Jesus."

"She's actually not that bad about it anymore. She's way more concerned with her cousin's wedding coming up. Apparently it's going to be fancy or something."

"It _is _going to be fancy!" an alien, whiny, pathetic voice cuts in, making me cringe.

Mika skips over to us, latching onto Seiji and making a bug show out of it, most likely trying tp prove a point to me.

"Why does it matter if it's fancy?" I ask.

"Because! They have special ways to eat everything! How will I know how to do them?"

"Um, I don't know, look it up. There's a _marvelous _invention called reading these days," I say, making mostly everyone around us crack up. Delic hugs me from behind, his deep voice chortling in my ear.

"Even reading won't tell me all of it," she responds, not catching on to my sarcasm.

Seiji releases her and starts walking toward the stage.

"We're set to play first," he explains. "I have to go meet the guys."

He disappears toward the blackness of the stage that will soon be lit up and booming. Mika watches him go, then turns to me.

"Hibiya, can I talk to you?" she asks me.

"I don't know. Can you speak human?"

Delic nudges me, laughing again. Mika looks defeated for a moment, so I sigh and walk toward her.

"I... Is there anything going on between you and Seiji?" she asks quietly.

"Seriously? He's told you no thousands of times, and you still feel the need to ask me?"

"Yes! He would lie to protect you!"

"Mika! He's just my friend! Honestly, if we could share a room for three years without having sex, I don't think it's going to happen anytime soon!"

She bites the inside of her cheek and looks at the ground.

"I know it's stupid... I just love him so much and you're so close to him..."

"I'm with Delic," I tell her, hoping this will solve the entire issue.

"Is he the blonde one?"

"He's the tall blonde one, yes. I'm in love with him."

She nods absently.

"Yeah, I guess I figured that much. He's always all over you."

"See? You're worried for nothing," I sigh.

It's at this moment that the lights on stage flicker on, and our attention is drawn to Seiji. He starts playing softly, picking up tempo as he goes, the others joining in. Mika's eyes light up, and she hums along to it. I glance at her sideways, and wonder if I have the same worshipping gaze when Delic sings.

What the hell? I know I do.

"Trust me, Mika. I could never love him like you do," I inform her.

"Y-You mean that?"

"I don't say things I don't mean. Not anymore."

She whimpers and hugs me, making me inwardly cringe because I still don't like her. Delic catches my eyes from the bar and he grins impishly at me, so I flip him off, causing him to laugh loudly at me.

The song comes to a close, and then Seiji joins us again. Mika tackles him so hard I'm sure he'll bruise. They share one of those kisses in which you're not quite sure where one face ends and another begins.

Gross.

Delic moves to stand beside me again, taking my hand in his.

"Are you thinking how gross that is?" he whispers.

"Ah, you know me so well!"

He laughs, pulling me into his broad chest.

"Kind of makes me want to rival them," he purrs, catching my lips with his.

"Mmmnnn, Deli..."

"Seriously? Delic, do you ever _not _try to eat Hibiya?" a deep voice asks, causing us to break apart.

"Nope~. I don't try to fight when I know I can't win," Delic grins, clapping Kadota and Saburo on the back.

I look at all of them together. My family.

Delic is laughing with Kadota and Saburo, getting ready for their gig. Mika is latched to Seiji, who looks confused, yet happy. Masaomi is sitting in Mikado's lap, laughing with Erika and Walker. I'm in the middle of all of them, feeling completely at home.

All I need is...

"Delic, can you work tomorrow night?" a voice asks suddenly. I turn to see who it belongs to.

_Ah, perfect. _My bitch is here.

"No. I have another gig tomorrow night," Delic says to Sal.

"You only work two nights a week. I don't see why one more would hurt," the man says.

"It would hurt because I make more money playing music."

"Then why don't you quit this job you little-"

"Hellooooo, Sal~." I grin, making him notice me for the first time. He scowls at me, clearly upset that I'm here.

"You're still here, are you? Here I thought being rich meant being in nicer places."

"Nah. While I do love eating at 5 star gourmet restaurants, I love bars too. The rugged smoky air makes me feel manly."

"I don't see how your father would approve of that," he says. Of course, Sal thinks of my father as the proper gentleman he presents himself to be in public. He doesn't know the real man who drank so much vodka it would put me to shame.

"I'm an adult. I have some freedom," I shrug. "Now, if Delic's not scheduled tomorrow night, I don't see how you can make him work. That's a violation."

"You stay out of this!"

"I'm afraid I can't do that. See, you've already pissed me off once. I don't suggest you do it again. Lest I take my cellphone and show some important people how this place is really ran."

Sal makes a face that looks similar to one that swallowed an entire lemon.

"Delic, do whatever the fuck you want," he snarls, storming away. I was thinking of calling him back to make him apologize for that, but the chorus of laughter around us makes me stop.

"Damn, Chibiya! I thought you were kidding when you said you scared him! I've never seen him look like that!" Delic laughs.

"Did I miss something?" Seiji asks.

"Kind of. Aren't you about to go on stage?" I ask Delic.

"Hm? Oh, yeah. C'mon guys," he says, leading Kadota and Saburo away.

I make myself comfortable at the counter, Erika running her hands through my hair.

"I'm telling you, if we styled it this way, you could pass as a woman!" she says.

"Why would I want to pass as a woman?" I ask.

"Why not? Women get free drinks sometimes."

"Don't give him ideas," Seiji says, joining us with Mika behind him.

"Ahahaha! Can you imagine Hibi-chan as a girl? He'd be all, 'Stop looking at my boobs and give me some fucking vodka'!" Masaomi giggles in a fake woman's voice that sounds like nails on a chalkboard.

"...That would _never _happen," I say grimly.

Thankfully, Delic chooses this moment to start paying. I didn't even notice the stage lights come on.

He looks so natural up there. So perfect. I lose all thought as I watch him.

"...like a love struck schoolgirl," Seiji finishes a sentence I didn't hear the rest of, but I'm sure it was about me.

When Delic sings it's like my inner turmoil goes away. I just want him to keep singing in that perfect voice. Always, never shutting up.

Sadly, his song does end. The only good thing about this is that it brings him back to me. His arms wrap around me and his lips meet mine again.

"I saw you watching me," he purrs, "You were eye-fucking me."

"Oh? Well excuse my eyes for their vulgarity. They only show what my brain is thinking."

He chuckles, leaning his forehead against mine. We're wrapped in our own little world, broken only by Mika's shrill voice.

Don't get me wrong, I like her more than I did, but I still don't like her.

"They're serving _lobster_! I have no clue how to eat lobster!" she's saying to Seiji.

"I can tell you how to eat lobster," I tell her suddenly. She looks at me delighted, but Seiji looks skeptical.

"You can?" she asks.

"Yes. First, you pick it up off the plate, whole. Then you bite the tail and sling the lobster around in your mouth like a rabid dog-"

"Hibiya, just stop," Seiji laughs.

Okay, so maybe I don't like her at all.

After our goodbyes, Delic leads me back home. It's not entirely late yet, but the air outside is crisp enough so we know it's after midnight at least. Once we get home, Delic decides to go ahead and get a shower, leaving me with my blank paper.

My stupid blank paper. Old enemy of mine.

I slump in my chair, picking up my pen again, hoping for inspiration.

Hoping...

Hoping...

Hoping...

Then, I'm struck. I decide to just run with this idea. Well, more of a memory than an idea. Whatever works for me.

_Dear Mairu,_

_There's so much I want to say to you. There's so much I could apologize for, but I know it wouldn't make any difference. I'm not going to waste your time and ask for your forgiveness, because we both know I don't deserve it. A letter seemed the most efficient way to contact you, because I wouldn't be able to bear calling you and having you hang up on me. The dial tone always makes me feel so lonely. Besides, we both know writing is more sincere. It's the one thing I taught you that I'm actually proud of. You used to love reading, remember? Do you still love it? I hope so, I really do. It can take you places and make you forget where you are. It saved me my whole life. I hope wherever you are, wherever your room is in that place, I hope you can still see the sunset. You used to love to watch it. You always told me it let you know that it was almost time for a new bedtime story. I hope your dreams can be pleasant now. I hope Kururi can offer you the peace I never could. I hope you read this and think of me, not out of love or hate, but simply recognition. I hope you can remember the gift of reading we share, passed from me to you, and think of me. Even if we're far apart, I'm always with you. Always. I hope you're well, Mairu. And I hope your dreams can take you somewhere happy that I never could. _

_Love always and forever,_

_Hibiya_

_P.S. It may interest you to know that my hand didn't fall off after writing this._

* * *

_Sachi: This was one long-ass chapter!_

_ Delic: A long smutless chapter..._

_ Sachi: You got laid 5 times last chapter! Slow your roll, Tootsie!_

_ Hibiya: I can't believe this story is almost over. When are we revealing the crazy drama bomb?_

_ Sachi: Ahhh, soon, soon. Let's not rush it, my lovelies. We have until chapter 50 to wrap this up!_

_ Delic: I'm not looking forward to how this is going to end up! You're making me uneasy._

_ Sachi: Trust meeeeeee~! I know what I'm doing!_

_ Hibiya: ...That literally makes us feel no better..._


	36. Chapter 36

_We meet again! I swear, I was really busy this time and that's why I didn't update sooner! Okay, fine, FINE! So I went out and bought Hetalia and have been watching it religiously. In my defense, I'm pretty happy with my purchase, so I'm not sorry! In other news, I'm thinking of branching out and writing some Hetalia fics. I think I could get their personalities down flat easily. Of course, I have to finish these first. I actually just now started getting involved in the series, because I knew if I watched it earlier, it would make me give up Durarara! sooner. In any case, I'll still write for this fandom for a long time I think, because I still have so many stories left to write for it. So don't worry, my lovelies! Ah, also, my DVD purchase came with a bandana with every Hetalia nation on it, so I'm pretty happy about that too! Now for my love to you all! __Ganne200__, that's what I aim for! My writing is supposed to be bipolar. __MitsukiMadara__, high school? Eh, it's not scary. I was known as the girl who didn't give a fuck in high school. Not a bad persona to have! Also, I've seen the Izaya video where he got punched. You couldn't find the video? Hmm, the picture is the one where Shizuo is trying to throw the fridge at Izaya at Shinra's place. __KarkadeVantas__, update more? Are you trying to kill me?! Come watch Hetalia with me, you murderer! __BlueRoseDream__, lobster? I've never eaten it. Don't get me wrong, I've had the opportunity, I just can't eat things that are alive and watching me when I walk into a restaurant. I also refuse to eat cute animals. That means I've never eaten rabbit, deer, or anything like that. Don't tell me that cows and chickens are cute! They're NOT cute! __Rai Rai Blue__, you don't think I know? I KNOW EVERYTHING! The sooner you learn that, the better! Haha, I love Prussia too, but I think Italy is so cute! __Tropic-Lover__, I think everyone hates Hibi-chan's father! America and Italy are my top faves, but Romano and Britain are closing in too! __TooLazyToLogin__, you alone! Also, I support UKUS and GerIta. Spamano is growing on me though, __Burning-Petals__, eh, we'll discuss it in a PM. I'm a grammar Nazi, so I'll help you out! __shizayalover1623__, yes. Yes, it does. I've been told tons of times that I'm scary as hell when I'm angry. Haha, it's funny, because I'm like 5'6" and not strong at all, yet everyone at work listens to me when I boss them around. I have no clue why, but it makes me laugh! __NighttimeFirefly__, I think Seiji's scenes are funny too! __DeliWillRapeHibiyaWithACrowb ar__, but everything ends! __Logic Dive__, love and pasta?! AHHH, you do love me! __Cael Luciano__, I'm wondering if you'll keep giving me such nice reviews! I'm never annoyed! __erihan__, haha, I always reply because I think it's really important. Fanart? I love any and all fanart about any of my stories! I'd love some more from you! __KoolaidShipping__, I update when I can! I swear! __Quiet. Crash__, yay for being reunited! I love reading all of your interpretations to the story! Anywho, I've rambled enough THIS time! On with the prancing story~!_

* * *

_Letters From You_

I had a very hard time waking up this morning. I think it's nerves... I mailed that letter off to Mairu, and let's just say I'm not expecting a very nice response. It's Monday right now.

I know, I know. We skipped a few days, ne? But really, we would all get bored if I described _every _day to you. No, it's better to skip around.

I know most people wish for those exciting lives where something major and eventful happens all the time, but I like things being as quiet as they have been. I come from a place where everything is a big deal, so trust me. Sometimes, it's better to have a quiet life.

Today, work was very uneventful. Everything about today was uneventful. Actually, I'm pretty glad for this. Delic is off today, and as far as I know, he doesn't have a gig. I think it'll be nice to go home and relax with him alone for a while.

It's a beautiful sunny day outside, as to be expected in Spring. People are all out and about, and I'm excited just to see how everything seems to be in bloom this time of year. It's been warm since I moved here, but the weather is getting hotter every day.

Delic is still buried under the covers when I walk in. I grin impishly and pounce on him, attempting to wake him up. He groans and rolls over, bringing me with him.

"Delic!" I whine in protest as he pulls me against his sweaty body. "Why the hell are you so sweaty?"

"Mmmmmnnnghhh..."

"...That wasn't even close to being a logical response."

He nuzzles into his pillow and cracks open a hazy magenta orb.

"Good morning..." he grumbles.

"More like good afternoon. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm good," Delic says.

"You're awfully sweaty just from sleeping..."

"Oh, right. Sorry, I got cold earlier so I put more covers on the bed. I guess I went a little overboard," he grins.

"I'd say so if you're sleeping in your own sauna," I laugh, noting the extra thick flannel blanket he has under the original comforter. "How on Earth were you cold? It feels _wonderful _outside."

"It does? I haven't been out there today, obviously."

"Ugh, I _know _that! I'm just telling you!"

"Heh. How was work?"

"Usual. How were your dreams?"

"Usual. You were being a slut. It was more like real life cinema."

"I'm not a slut!" I huff, appalled at the suggestion.

"Haha! You are too! You're _my _slut!"

"What a god-awful term to call your own lover! I can't believe you would call me that!"

"Right, I forget sometimes that you don't understand certain terms. It only means that you like having sex with me enough to seduce me. You know you've been teasing a _lot _lately," he explains.

"It's not so much teasing if I actually deliver on it."

"True. But I never get tired of you anyway~."

I sigh and run my hands through his blonde hair. Usually, it would disgust me to have my hands coated in someone else's sweat, but Delic's doesn't bother me anymore. I guess because I've had it all over me on several occasions.

"You're so beautiful..." he mumbles quietly.

"I am?"

"Don't be stupid. Of course you are. I never get tired of looking at you..."

I smile at him and kiss his lips gently. I'm actually a little taken aback when he doesn't immediately try to deepen it. He pulls away from me first.

"Chibiya, I love you."

"...I love you too."

"I've never...never loved anyone...like I love you..."

I quirk a brow, not sure why he's being so utterly _adorable _right now. It's a little unsettling.

"Delic?" I ask.

His hand moves to my face and his fingers rest on my lips.

"I'm just really...glad you're here..."

"Where else would I be?"

"I don't want you to be anywhere else..."

I decide to just be quiet and let him not make sense.

"Promise... Promise me you'll always stay here... Promise..."

I try to look into his eyes, but he's already closed them. Delic is fast asleep again. I suppose he must have been half-asleep the whole time.

Sighing, I shift out of his grasp and cover him up again. It's understandable that he would still be exhausted. His schedule makes him have the oddest sleeping pattern in the world. I'm nice enough to sacrifice our time together so he can sleep. After all, how many days did he spend just lying in bed with me when I was sick?

I look around the small apartment for something to do. Immediately, I'm greeted with a task. Our apartment is _filthy_. There are clothes all over the place! Not to mention random bits of trash here and there. Honestly, I haven't paid much attention to it lately. I suppose I'm having some sort of cleaning spell at the moment though, because it's all I can think to do.

Luckily, we have no laundry at all. Delic did that the day before yesterday, so we don't have to do it again for a week. I straighten everything up, throwing away the papers I dub to be useless.

Delic shifts on the bed restlessly, and I'm led to believe it's due to a bad dream or something. I walk over to him and caress his face, smiling softly at the look of confusion on his face.

"Not... Not ready..." he mumbles into the pillow.

I laugh to myself while I kiss the top of his head. It's at this moment my phone decides to ring.

"Shit, shit, shit..." I mumble as I hurriedly try to answer it before the loud ringtone wakes the sleeping blonde.

"Hello?" I say, whispering until I leave the bedroom.

_"Hibiya! How was your day today?" _Seiji's voice fills my ear.

"Uh...fine? Why?"

_"...Seriously? Dude, are you being for real?"_

"Yes? It's just a Monday... Was something supposed to happen?"

_"Holy fuck, Hibiya! I'm coming over right now!"_

"W-Wait, what? Why? Delic is asleep and-"

_"Be there in a bit!" _And the phone clicks as he hangs up.

Instantly, I'm hit with confusion. What's the big deal here? I decide that Seiji is crazy, and I'll tell him so when he gets here.

I shuffle on my feet with impatience. I know I've only been cleaning to avoid checking the mail. Usually I check it on my way up, but right now I just really don't want to...

Somehow, my legs decide to move me downstairs to our mailbox. I enter the key and turn it, opening the tiny container. As expected, there's a letter there addressed to me. I hold it away from me like it's on fire as I walk back upstairs.

I move beside Delic, resting my head on his chest as I open it. I feel better with him near me. He grumbles and wraps his arm around me, and I decide now is as good a time as any to have my heart broken.

With trembling hands, I open the letter.

_Dear Hibiya,_

_I'm actually glad you wrote me. Kururi said I was hard on you last time. I suppose she's right, since I could see in your face that you were being sincere when you apologized. I realized a long time ago that none of what happened was your fault. I hope you know that too. I know you don't believe that though. You were always the type to shoulder everything. Kururi says that will be your downfall. I'd watch it if I were you. Kururi is always right you know. I'd say it's time we all forgot about our awful upbringing. It's not as if being bitter about it will change anything. The universe will handle Father, and we can handle ourselves. I know you're hoping I can get out soon and we can reconnect, but I can honestly tell you right now that I like it in here. Being in this place makes me feel like I'm not the only insane person in society. Maybe you'd like it here too? Haha, I'm only kidding. Get that sour look off your face, brother. To answer you, I do love to read. It's my favorite hobby here. The nurses give me such amazing books. You should bring me some of yours. I'd love to have you read to me again. I can see the sunset fine from my room. Of course, my window is barred, but I can see it all the same. It's been wonderful writing to you, and I really enjoyed your letter. I'd love for you to visit, but if you just want to write for a little while, I'm fine with that too. Try not to overanalyze everything so much. I know you're trying to decipher any hidden things I might have written in this letter. I assure you, it's just an ordinary letter. You need to pay more attention to the big picture, and less on trivial things. If you want an example, try looking at a calendar. I bet you don't even know what today is._

_Love,_

_Mairu_

_P.S. My hand didn't fall off either, so I guess we can keep writing._

I'm smiling like an idiot when I finish the letter. When a tiny sniffle escapes me, I lift my hand up to my eyes to find tears are falling. When did I start crying? Ah, probably as soon as I realized she wasn't going to rip my heart out.

"Chibiya? You alright?" Delic's gruff voice asks from beside me. I look up at him to see him watching me. Another tiny sob escapes me, and I bury my face in his chest.

"Chibiya!"

"M-Mairu...! She... She loves me still!"

His hands massage my back softly and he chuckles.

"Everyone loves you. It's hard not to."

I only hug him tightly around the neck and drink in his wonderful scent. If I was to die right now, I would die completely happy and without regret.

A loud knock at the door makes me squeak in surprise and pull away from the warm blonde.

"Hibiya! Hibiya, open this damn door!" Seiji shouts.

"What the hell?" Delic growls.

"Seiji! The door's unlocked, just stop yelling!"

He bursts in the front door, then into our bedroom. He studies me quietly, his dark eyes looking thoughtful.

"Why are you crying?" he asks.

"Happy tears," I shrug, lifting to sit on the edge of the bed to face him. "Now, why are you here?"

"Dude! It's May 4th!"

My mouth drops in shock, but Delic still looks lost.

"So?" he asks.

"So? So! Hibiya is officially 22 years old now!"

Both of them turn to me, Seiji grinning madly and Delic's face stretching into a smile big enough to rival Seiji's. Mairu was right, I had no idea.

Happy birthday to me, I guess.

* * *

_Sachi: Kinda short for this story. I think the chapters may get short for a little bit. I have to stretch it out to 50 chapters so I can reach my goal!_

_ Hibiya: I hate short chapters._

_ Delic: Are you going to tell them when your planned angst bomb is starting?_

_ Sachi: Ah, yes. Chapter 39 is when it starts. I think chapters 40-50 will be the ultra-sad ones. That's when you're going to start hating me. Ahaha, I can't wait!_

_ Hibiya: Weirdo..._

_ Delic: Agreed._

_ Sachi: Review because I love them! Pretty please? _


	37. Chapter 37

_Ahhh, time for an update! I bet you all thought I was going to abandon this story now that I've started my Hetalia fic. Well, I told you to trust me! I never abandon stories! I'll finish this one on schedule, as promised. I pulled a very mean prank today, and since you're my readers, I'm making you read it. This guy at work who I named 'Ginger' and have made my personal bitch, well he's been on my nerves more than usual recently. So I acquired his phone number and didn't tell him, since he doesn't have mine. I spent all day sending him creepy messages at work and I was freaking him out so bad! Haha, it was hilarious! I told him when he left though. Man, was he pissed off. I laughed maniacally and told him to delete my number from his phone, since I've already had my fun. Now that you've read all about my mean prank, it's time for my love to you! __DeliWillRapeHibiyaWithACrowb ar__, I can't say~. You'll have to keep reading! __Logic Dive__, I'm stumped too! I never plan things out, so the whole birthday thing was entirely impulsive. __NighttimeFirefly__, you and your angst. Haha, you won't be disappointed! __jusqualafin__, why do you hate Seiji- oh right, you read him in 'Fix You'. Ehehehe. I felt that way with Hetalia too. I started with America clips on Youtube, and was immediately hooked. He makes me proud to be from the land of 'We're better than you, and we eat hamburgers while we're better than you!' __KoolaidShipping__, haha, I'm glad you think it's going to be good! __TooLazyToLogin__, you love me even more?! Ah, prove it! __Quiet. Crash__, he never asked about the birthday because Hibi-chan never asked his. They have a very odd relationship. I can't tell you what's going to happen! Unless you want me to make something up. __tsukicchan__, yay, cookies! I'm going to get so much Diabetes! __BlueRoseDream__, ummm, well I skipped ahead to be honest. I'm on Season 4, but I already know what happened in the earlier seasons. I have a VERY odd sleeping schedule too. I take cat naps, and when I sleep longer, I'm more tired. It's weird. __KarkadeVantas__, hellish school day? Aw, I've been there. __shizayalover1623__, more drama? You know, you guys keep asking for it, but I'm sure once it's here you're going to be totally upset. __erihan__, yay, fanart! __Rai Rai Blue,__ you found my typo?! You HATE me! Hetalia's not taking me away! It's just...a new obsession. I get attached easily. I already started it, and I'm still updating this one! So, you should trust me! I am dropping hints! We'll see who finds them! __Lunamint__, ah, me neither! I have to make something up FAST though, haha. Now, on with the story!_

* * *

_Birthday_

Seiji stormed into his shared dorm room and found his roommate sprawled out on his bed.

"Hibiya! Wake up!"

The raven jolted awake and sleepily faced the brunette. He ran his hand over his face and cracked open a golden eye.

"Wha... Seiji?"

"Yes, Seiji! Mika told me today's your birthday!"

"...It is?"

"Wha... Dude, yes! She said your Chemistry teacher wished you a happy birthday in front of the class! Don't you remember?"

Hibiya stared at him blankly, then shifted his gaze toward the calendar on the wall above the desk. Indeed, it said May 4th. He was officially 16 years old.

He and Seiji had been roommates for a few months now, and they weren't exactly friends, more like...forced acquaintances. Seiji was watching him intently, obviously trying to figure him out _again._

"Seriously? Are you drunk or something?" he asked.

"Um... Only a little..." Hibiya mumbled, scratching the back of his head. "Why is a birthday so important anyway? Can't I just go back to sleep...?"

"Wha- It's only 6pm! We have to _do _something!"

"I don't see why it's anything to celebrate."

"Your parents never celebrated your birthday?"

"No, they did. My mother wished me a happy birthday once when I was 7. Does that count?"

Seiji gawked at him and sank down on his own bed.

"Dude... That's... I mean, don't you want to try to have fun? I can take you out. Mika and I could find a way to get us some drinks..."

"No. Thank you, but I really just want to sleep until it's tomorrow. I see no reason to be excited that I was born."

"Hibiya... Man, I don't know what to say to that..."

"Then don't say anything. Goodnight, Seiji."

The raven buried himself under his covers again, trying to sleep through his drunken state and will himself to find the strength to wake up the next day. Because honestly, at this point, why does it matter that he's alive? It's not like anyone cares.

For two more years, Seiji would try to convince him to celebrate his birthday. For two more years, Hibiya would say no.

After all, what was there to celebrate?

* * *

I can't help but sigh irritably as Seiji tugs me outside. Delic is pulling a shirt over his head and following us out of the apartment, a tiny frown on his face. He still looks so tired.

"Where are we going?" I ask the overly eager brunette.

"You'll see!"

"Can I at least know?" Delic asks, jogging beside me now to grab my hand.

"Nope. You'll tell him."

"...Seiji, this is stupid! Are we going to a bar?"

"No."

"A club?"

"Nope."

"...Concert? Movies? Restaurant?"

"No, no, and no."

"Anywhere fun?" Delic grumbles.

"Eh, more reminiscent than anything else." Seiji offers. "Do you remember what you told me once in high school, Hibiya?"

"Seriously? I don't remember anything from high school. So, no."

"Ah, so it's just me then. That's fine."

Seiji's hand wraps around my free one, and he pulls harder. Delic is tugged along by me, but I don't miss the hiss he directs at Seiji.

When we round a corner, Seiji tugs me in front of him and then puts his hands over my eyes.

"Okay, once when you were _totally _smashed, you told me that there was one thing you never got to do as a kid. Do you remember now?"

"Um... No."

He uncovers my eyes, and I'm greeted with a _playground_. There's a swing set, a jungle gym, monkey bars... I look up at him incredulously.

"What the hell?"

"Just trust me."

I huff, and walk toward the swingset. Is this what he was talking about? I haven't been on a swing set in forever. It's more than possible I got drunk and told him I've never been on one. I've told him more outlandish things.

I reach a swing and sit down, steadily starting to rock back and forth until I pick up speed. Delic is watching me fondly, then sits in the empty swing beside me and matches my pace.

"I feel like a kid again!" he laughs.

"Hey, we're going the same speed," I note, catching his gaze and smiling at him. He grins back at me.

"Hibi-chaaaaaaaaan!"

"Oh God, no..." I say, trying to stop before I'm knocked out of my swing-

Too late.

Erika launches at me, effectively knocking me backwards and making me yelp in a mixture of horror and pain. I tumble out of the swing, her on top of me. Her legs are still in the swing though.

"Erika!" Delic hisses. "Aren't there better ways to say hello to someone?!"

"Yes! But it's his birthday!" she argues.

I groan and try to push her off of me, but she's holding me down.

I'm weak, shut up.

"Erika!" I whine, "Let me get up! It's really uncomfortable on the ground!"

Another voice shouts my name happily, and I feel more weight as Masaomi joins her.

"Seriously? Are you _trying _to kill me? I want to live to be 23 you know!"

Seiji's face splits into a wide grin and he walks over to try and help me up.

"What's with the creeper grin?" I ask indignantly.

"That's the first time I've ever heard you say you want to live."

Delic leans back in his swing and starts going higher again, making the chains squeak in protest.

"Well... I didn't have a reason back then..." I say.

"Say, Erika. Before we let him up, shouldn't we give him his present?" Masaomi grins.

"Eh?"

"Oh, yes! I'd say if we let him up before that, there's no way he'd let us do it!" she giggles. I look up at them hopelessly, trying to figure a way out of this, and Delic's swing stops.

"Wha-What are you going to do..?" I ask.

"Did you know, Hibi-chan, that the reason you're so short is because no one ever gave you a proper birthday celebration?" Erika says.

"We're about to fix that though," Masaomi adds.

"Fix what?" Seiji asks, standing beside us.

"Birthday _spankings_!" Erika laughs, holding my arms down while Masaomi trys to lift me up from the ground a little.

"What the hell?! Get off me!" I hiss, scrambling my legs to try and move from under them. I manage to get one of my arms free, and I shove the impish blonde away from me. "Touch me and _die!_"

"Want me to help hold him down?" Seiji offers.

"Seiji! I'll fucking _kill _you!" I say, squirming even more.

"Ahhh, Hibi-chan~. I'd stop moving so much if I were you. You're thrusting up against a very sensitive part of me," Masaomi purrs, effectively making my face burst into flames.

"Ahahahaha! Oh, you _naughty _boy, Hibi-chan~." Erika giggles.

"Guys! T-That's so distasteful!" Mikado squeaks as he runs up. "Hibiya's totally red!"

"Heh. I'm the only one that will be spanking Chibiya tonight, thanks," Delic laughs, finally standing to help me up. I leap into his arms as soon as Masaomi releases me.

"You _asshole_! You could've stopped them sooner!" I inform him, nuzzling into his neck despite my harsh words.

"I could have. But you were so cute and flustered, it was hard to move."

"Delic!"

"Where's Walker?" he asks Erika suddenly. She bites her lip and looks away.

"We'll talk about it later, okay? Tonight is supposed to be happy," she sighs. I look at her over Delic's shoulder. She looks...frazzled.

"Delic," I whisper, "Are you really going to spank me?"

"Not here," he whispers back, a smirk on his face.

"Where's your loud girlfriend?" Masaomi asks Seiji.

"Her parent's house. She had that wedding to go to."

"She didn't want you to go with her?" I ask.

"Nah. She asked, but I really didn't want to go. Her dad's a dick."

"Hah. I know the feeling," I agree.

He laughs at me, then moves to stand in front of Delic, who looks at him incredulously.

"Alright, Hibiya. How long have I been trying to get you to celebrate your birthday now?" he asks me. I turn to him from Delic's neck.

"Since I turned 16," I say.

"And how many times have you let me?"

"Never."

"Yup. Like I was saying, once when you were really drunk, you told me there was something you never got to see as a kid."

"...I thought you said it was something I never got to _do_..."

"Same damn thing! Either way, we're doing it now!" he huffs.

"Sounds kinky!" Erika laughs.

Seiji turns to Mikado, who smiles sheepishly at me, then moves to the monkey bars. He pulls a box out from behind them.

"Is this illegal?" I ask the brunette.

"Hah! Probably. It's pretty late at night to be doing this, and I'm pretty sure we're inside the city limits. If a cop comes, run," Seiji states seriously.

"I don't think this is a good idea then..." I mumble, but no one seems to hear me.

Seiji pulls something out of the box, then pulls a lighter out. I immediately assume it's drugs, but then whatever he lights starts to spark and hiss. I move back from whatever it is, but Delic pulls me against him with a knowing grin on his face.

"Just watch, Chibiya," he purrs.

I look back toward the sparking, then see it shoot towards the sky, where it explodes in a whirl of color. It's...

"It's _beautiful_..." I murmur. The blonde chuckles and wraps his arms around my waist from behind, and rests his head on my shoulder.

"They're called fireworks," he says. "You've seriously never seen them?"

"No... Not ever. I remember Seiji mentioning them once, but I told him I didn't know what he was talking about..."

More lights explode above us, each more spectacular than the last. Everyone is looking up with us, aside from Seiji who seems to be having a field day lighting them on fire.

The sky is lit up, and the booms grow louder. Erika is squealing in a high pitched voice, her arms locked around Mikado and Masaomi. It's only when the roar stops, and I realize we're out of fireworks, that I realize someone is missing.

"Where's Kadota and Saburo?" I ask loudly, my ears still ringing.

"Hehe. Dota-chin and Saburo are having a steamy night at home," Erika says just as loudly as me.

"They're...together again?" I ask Delic, who sighs.

"They're always off and on," he says.

"Not this time! Dota-chin wants a relationship!"

Delic looks just as lost as me.

"Kadota? Have you _met _Kadota?"

"He's no worse than you were."

I hug Delic's neck tightly and whine softly, nuzzling against him. He hugs me in return, chuckling quietly.

"Alright, alright. I know you guys want to go home and do gross shit, so I'll speed it up. I bought you a cake too," Seiji says.

"Cake?" Erika perks up instantly. Everyone seems more excited about this than me. I really don't like sweet stuff. To my surprise, Delic stays beside me while they all scramble around the cake.

"You don't want any?" I ask.

"Not really. Have you ever been so tired that it makes you not hungry?"

"...Yes. Why are you so tired? You didn't sleep well?"

"I can't sleep once you leave the bed. It's weird," he tells me. It's at this moment that Seiji runs up to me and tugs me toward the picnic table, where I see he's actually brought candles.

"You have to blow them out and make a wish," he grins.

"Seriously? How old are you?" I laugh.

"That's the whole point of tonight, dude. You didn't realize?"

"Eh?"

"Hibiya, one of your problems is that you grew up _way _too fast. I dunno... I just thought it would be good to have a night that you could be a kid again..."

I'm actually at a loss for words. He's put so much thought into this!

"I... Seiji, thank you..."

"Yeah, yeah. Just blow out the candles, asshole."

I do as I'm told and blow them out, making a wish as Delic walks behind me.

For once in my life, I'm glad it's my birthday. I'm glad I can spend it with my friends... No, my family. If only Mairu was here. I watch as they all eat cake aside from Delic and myself. Then we bid goodbye and head home.

I'm sure you can guess for yourself what I wished for. If I tell you, it won't come true.

* * *

_Sachi: There's not much you can write for a birthday that isn't corny as hell. I did my best, dammit! Trust me, these fluffy chapters will be the ones you go back to soon enough to cheer yourselves up!_

_ Delic: Aw, man... I don't want to get back to the drama..._

_ Hibiya: Yeah, I'm kind of content with the way things are right now..._

_ Sachi: We have to add the drama! It's totally necessary! Anyway, review for love! I'll update faster if I feel you'll die without it! (Seriously, some of you say you'll die without it and it makes me freak out until I type frantically...) Until next time, my lovelies! _


	38. Chapter 38

_We're seriously about to get into the drama here... I'm trying to decide whether or not to start it at the end of this chapter, or the next chapter. Ah, decisions, decisions... Well, I guess we'll find out at the end, won't we? Now, let's get started on the love! __jusqualafin__, there's already so much smut in this story though! I mean, really, chapters 7, 11, 14, 15, 17, 20, 24, 27, 28, 32, and 34 all have those scenes. Haha, wow, that's even more than I thought. __erihan__, I loved that part too! __KakadeVantas__, queen? Ahhh, you spoil me with your love! __Braverly-Homunculus__, I'm glad you liked it! __BlueRoseDream__, I spend mine eating junk food too. Creepy texts are fun! __Paranormal Alchemist__, I told you I'm not leaving you! A whip, eh? __Rai Rai Blue,__ he was very much freaking out! I was being very creepy in my texts. __KoolaidShipping__, more birthday sex?! Haha, you guys all have one track minds! __Guest__, thank you! I can't believe we're over 500! __Ganne200__, angst is coming! __NighttimeFirefly__, umm... It's not going to go exactly like that, haha. __Logic Dive__, n-no pasta forever...? I'M HALF ITALIAN AND YOU'LL KILL ME! I can't tell you how it'll end! *sobs* __Soya Pie__, ahhh, thank you! I hope you like my Hetalia fic too! __Quiet. Crash__, hehehe, I don't guess I'll answer you then. I could though! And you'd believe me! Now, enough of the babbling! On with the story!_

* * *

_Juxtaposition_

I wake up way earlier than I probably should have. It's still a little dark outside, and I was up very late last night. I look up at Delic, since I'm curled under his arm.

His expression is peaceful. It looks like he's having a pleasant dream. He's probably satiated enough from last night, since he's the reason I was up so late.

Like always.

I marvel at him, even now. Nothing has changed in the three months I've lived here as far as that's concerned. I'll never be able to walk into the same room with him and not worship him. It's impossible.

I smile happily at how fortunate I am to have him. Honestly, he must be almost saint like. He understands so much about me without me having to tell him. I've noticed that since day one. He always seems to know exactly what I need.

He groans slightly and pulls me closer. I feel his skin against mine, and it makes me worried. He's burning up.

"Delic," I whisper. He cracks an eye open instantly, so I know he was at least a little awake that whole time.

"Ughhh... What time is it...?" he asks in a cracking voice.

"Early. Are you feeling alright?"

"No... I'm not..."

I try to sit up, but he pulls me down again.

"Delic! I need to get the thermometer!"

"Don't get up, please. Just... Just stay here with me..."

I sigh, remembering how I was exactly like this when I was sick. I _cried _when he tried to leave the bed.

"Do you want me to call Deborah and tell her I'm taking care of you?" I ask him.

"Mm-Hmm..."

I reach over to grab my cell phone, and I call her. It only takes a second, since I haven't called in for so long. I seriously need to cut back though. I've missed plenty of work already.

"Okay, I called. She said she hopes you feel better," I tell him. His hands absently begin to trace patterns over my arms.

"Sorry... I didn't want you to have to...waste a whole day with me..."

"Any day with you is hardly wasted," I say. "What hurts?"

"Everything..."

"I thought you never get sick?" I joke.

"I don't. When I do though... It's always bad..."

I place my forehead against his so our eyes can meet. He's looking at me intently, but his eyes are dull. He must feel awful.

"I can make you breakfast," I tell him. "It might make you feel a little better."

"No… Just stay here with me…" he whispers, his eyes closing again. His breathing seems a little labored.

"_Delic_, let me take care of you! It's my turn to-" I never get to finish this sentence.

"I…really love you, Chibiya."

"…I love you too, but-"

"Don't…forget that…"

"Delic?"

His breathing evens out, and he's immediately unconscious again. Luckily for me, his death grip loosens enough for me to wiggle away from him. He makes a whining sound, so I place my pillow in his arms.

I need something to do… I'm not the type to just sit around and wait for things. I'm not tired anymore, so I can't sleep with Delic. If I stay in the bed with him, I'll probably move so much it'll wake him up.

I decide to do something productive. It's my turn to write Mairu this time.

To my surprise, the words flow much more evenly this time.

_Dear Mairu,_

_I'm glad to hear you've forgiven me. When I visit, I'll definitely bring you some books. I'm not sure when it will be, since I work so much. Maybe this Sunday? I'm actually off today, but it's unexpected. I'm taking care of someone. Can you believe it? Kururi says I'm going to be the death of myself, huh? I'm not surprised. I've known that my whole life. Maybe I do carry too many burdens, but I'm too afraid of not caring. I can't ever be like Father. Ever. All I wanted was for them to be proud of me, but I never got it. I hope you never had that issue. To be honest, I was most afraid of disappointing you. I hope I at least never did that. I'm sure the years of silence did the trick though. Write back when you can! I'll make sure to wait for your answer before I plan a visit. I don't want to inconvenience you._

_Much love,_

_Hibiya_

When I finish, I place the letter in an envelope and close it, placing a stamp in the top right corner. Walking outside, I go downstairs and send it, before I walk back into the apartment.

Deciding on another course of action, I crawl back in bed with Delic. He mumbles illegibly as I curl behind him, being the big spoon for once.

"Delic? What do you want for breakfast?" I whisper. He scoots closer in my hold.

"Nothing…" he says back. I frown at him.

"Deli-Bear~… You have to eat _something_."

He grins at the nickname.

"Mmmm, Chibiya. If you love me, you'll stay in here with me."

So, I'm being guilt tripped?

"If I stay in bed with you, I'll just keep waking you up," I huff.

"That's fine… I just want you in here…" He rolls over to face me, and I'm forced to relinquish my hold as the big spoon. I smile at him and press my lips against his, not caring if I get sick again. He immediately deepens it, whimpering softly into my mouth.

"Fine, fine. I'll stay if it makes you happy, love."

He falls asleep again instantly, his arms still around me. I simply trace my hands over his face gently, memorizing every curve. I'm trying to think of a way to get him to take medicine, and get him to eat. He's almost as stubborn as me.

I hear my phone ring in the other room. I shuffle to get it, careful not to wake Delic up. It's Erika.

_"__Ugh, I got bit by so many mosquitos last night! Next time we hang outside, we're taking bug spray," _she greets me. I smirk.

"Hah, good plan. Why are you calling so early?"

_"__To catch you before work! Aren't you about to go in?"_

"Not today. Delic is sick."

_"__…Sick?"_

"Yeah. He woke up feeling bad. I'm taking care of him."

_"__What's wrong with him? Fever?"_

"He has a pretty bad fever, yeah. He just said everything hurts. Sounds like the Flu to me," I sigh. "He won't let me give him medicine though."

There's a pause on the other end of the line.

_"__Are you beside him right now?"_

"Um, no? I can't be on the phone and with him at the same time. It'll wake him up."

_"__Go in there with him!"_ she says almost frantically.

"Erika?"

_"__Go be with him! He's… He's awful when he's sick… I'll come over to help you, alright? I'll make food for him… You just be with him."_

"…You're scaring me… Is something wrong…?"

Before she answers, Delic stumbles out of the bedroom, and holds onto the doorframe for support.

"Delic! Go back to bed!" I hiss, walking over to him. I freeze instantly.

Something's wrong.

"I… I need…hospital…" he says almost inaudibly.

"Delic?"

Then, he falls at my feet, leaving me lost with what to do.

"Delic! DELIC!" I scream, falling beside him. My heart is beating out my chest.

_"__What's wrong? Hibi-chan!" _Erika's voice shrieks in my ear.

"D-Delic… He passed out! I…I have to call an ambulance!"

_"__I'll meet you at the hospital!" _and her phone clicks as she hangs up, leaving me all alone.

* * *

_Sachi: Right, so I started it early. I'm not sure if we'll make it to 50 chapters… I'M SUCH A FAILURE! _

_ Delic: What's wrong with me?_

_ Hibiya: Is he ridden with STD's?_

_ Sachi: If you want to know, you will review~! :D_


	39. Chapter 39

_So, um... Does ANYONE remember what I said in chapter one? Remember how I said this wasn't going to be a happy story in any way? ...Remember...? I gave you fluff! I gave you smut! So, now, I'm really sorry, but it's time for the angst. If you thought Mairu was the end of it, you were wrong! We're just getting started! With that said, I hope you'll all read to the end! If any of you give up, I'll send Toki to slap you with his paws! (if he does it hard enough, it hurts... Trust me. I had to learn the hard way.) Now, for my love! (although most of you said the same things.) __KoolaidShipping__, I can't fix him! I'm sorry! __BlueRoseDream__, ah, I know it was short. It could've been longer, but I was a little busy! I'm your favorite author? Well, FF wise. That's so sweet! Ahhhh, I love you! I'm glad I can be a comfort! __Braverly-Homunculus__, I shall answer that question for you in this chapter! __jusqualafin__, I'M SORRY! IT JUST HAS TO GO DOWN LIKE THAT! *flees to Izaya's apartment again* __incidentalmusic__, I can't help it! It's just so much fun! __shizayalover1623__, I can assure you, it's not an STD. __Paranormal Alchemist__, don't shake me! I'm fragile! __erihan__, ahhh, thank you so much! I love you and your fanart! __Logic Dive__, yayy, pasta! I can't tell you now, but read on and find out! __KarakdeVantas__, I don't know~. __Quiet. Crash__, ...am I being threatened? If I feel abused I'll retreat into my room and hide in my blanket fortress! Hmmm, changing to begging is a little better, but it makes me feel bad! __darkestlight96__, are you still saying noooooooooo? Because if so, I'm sure it's a record. __Rai Rai Blue__, I don't hate you! I gave plenty of warnings! I am updating sooner due to incredible reviews! __NighttimeFirefly__, I'm glad you're still looking forward to it! I swear, I love you all! Don't hate me! On with the story!_

* * *

_Tilted Axis_

I hate waiting rooms.

I always have, ever since I was little.

Really, it's the only thing my mother did in person. When it came to anything that involved parenting, she would always get a maid to do it for her. When it came to doctor's visits, she would actually go with me and hold my hand while I got a shot.

Of course, I found out later that she was just having sex with my doctor, and that's why she wanted to come. And you wonder why I was scared of sex for so long.

Currently, I'm pacing the floors in the Emergency waiting room. Erika is in a chair beside me, biting her lip and twiddling her thumbs. I look up in time to see Seiji burst through the doors too.

"Seiji? W-What are you doing here?" I sob. Oh yeah, I'm crying. I have been since Delic passed out.

He looks at me incredulously and crosses the room to pull me against his chest.

"What the _fuck _kind of question is that?" he hisses. "Erika texted me and I... I know you..."

I can't help but hug him around the neck and break down again. I don't know... It's just... I'm so scared.

So scared.

Speaking of Erika, she's being oddly quiet. Usually, in a situation like this, she would be all over me too. As is, she's just sitting there. Seiji is humming a quiet tune as he sways us around, and it reminds me of Delic.

Thinking of him only makes me cry harder.

Eventually, we all retire to chairs. I'm sitting between Seiji and Erika, and they're both trying to comfort me. Seiji's arm is locked around my neck, and Erika's hand is on my thigh. Our group steadily grows, and before I know it, the waiting room is very crowded.

"So he just passed out?" Saburo asks as he joins us.

"Yeah," Erika answers for me. "Hibi-chan said he woke up feeling bad..."

At the sound of my name, I look up at them.

"Hibiya..." Saburo says sympathetically. "You look awful..."

How the hell am I supposed to look? Not wanting to talk, I simply nod, hiding my face behind my hands as the sobs come back.

"It's alright... Come on, Hibiya..." Seiji's voice says from somewhere. I barely notice him lifting me from the chair. When I realize where we are, we're already far away from everyone else.

"Where are we...?" I ask quietly.

"Oh, I wanted to get a drink from the vending machine. Sorry, but you were holding onto me so tight, I had to bring you," he grins sheepishly. "Besides, you look like getting out of that room might do you some good."

I nod, looking around. We're in a room full of vending machines, mostly full of junk food. The kind of thing Delic would like.

When I look up again, Seiji is directly in front of me.

"Come here," he sighs as he observes me. "I keep thinking you're done crying, but whenever I look back, you're at it again."

I fall against him, allowing him to try and comfort me. Honestly, nothing anyone can do will make me feel better right now. I'm going to have to see for myself that Delic is alright.

We make our way back to the waiting room, where everyone seems to be in deep conversation. Mikado is holding onto Masaomi, who's crying silently. I feel tense as we approach, and Seiji must sense it too because his grip on me tightens.

Masaomi looks up to see me, then leaps into my arms.

"Hibi-chaaaaaaaan! Oh, Hibi-chan!" he wails. I stumble back a little, but am still supported by Seiji.

"Easy there, killer," the brunette remarks. "He's had a long morning."

Indeed, we got here quite early, but it's nearing noon. I can't decide if I'm hungry or not. Every time I think of food, my stomach flips.

"Family of Delic Heiwajima!" a nurse calls. I jerk free of Seiji as fast as I can and run to her.

"Is he okay? Can I see him?" I ask hurriedly. She steps back a little, but nods slightly.

"Yes, he's requesting visitors. Be mindful that he's exhausted."

I start walking toward his room before she even finishes her sentence. I saw where they took him. Well, more or less. I just couldn't stand there and _wait _for her to take me to him. It may have taken too long. I just... I have to keep moving or I'll break down.

I look in every door down the hall I know he's in. Luckily, most of the patients are asleep. I pause when I see a blonde mop of hair poking out from under the covers of one of the beds.

"Hey, Chibiya," Delic says tiredly. I just stand in the doorway stupidly, not sure how I'm supposed to react.

He's attached to so many _machines_. A steady beeping lets me know exactly when his heart is beating, though I'm accustomed to just leaning against his chest and hearing it myself. He looks exhausted in every meaning of the word, but he's trying to smile at me like nothing's wrong.

Something is very wrong though. I feel it.

Erika comes running in behind me, and she leaps almost on top of him. He makes a muffled groaning sound, but hugs her as she sobs on him.

"Delic! Delic, you should've _said _something!" she wails. He grimaces and just keeps patting her back. Kadota and Saburo stand over his bed, making casual conversation. Mikado and Masaomi join in, though the golden blonde is still sobbing quite audibly.

I know now that something is _definitely_ wrong, and it has been for quite some time. And I also know, everyone is in on it except me. Well, Seiji too. He's standing beside me still, looking as awkward as I feel.

They're all still talking amongst themselves. It's only when they steady chatter stops that I look up from my shoes. Now everyone's eyes are on me.

"Hibiya, Delic asked you a question," Seiji whispers. I shift my gaze to him and back up like a wounded animal when he reaches for me.

"...Hibiya...?"

"I... I'm sorry..." I say quietly when I reach the wall and can't move any further. My voice is shaky, so I know the tears are coming. "I just... I'm so..."

"Come here, Chibiya," Delic says, motioning for me. I do as I'm told and edge toward the bed, stopping when I'm directly over him. He smiles at me weakly.

"Could you all give Chibiya and I a moment alone?" he asks. Everyone filters out of the room slowly.

His arm reaches for me, and I allow him to pull me into the bed beside him. He kisses my jawline slowly, trying to comfort me.

"Stop crying, baby. Stop crying..." he pleads.

"H-How do you expect me to do that? You're not being honest with me..."

He sighs loudly and pulls me on top of him.

"I don't want to go into this right now..."

"Why did you pass out? What's wrong? Please... Delic, I need you to tell me..."

He looks at me sadly, caressing my face and catching the tears.

"Kiss me first..." he says.

I press my lips against his gently, sighing when he deepens it.

"D...Delic..."

"God... I'm really going to miss this..." he hisses when we part. "I love you so much, Chibiya..."

"If you love me, you'll be honest with me..."

"...I have cancer, Chibiya."

My world stops, frozen forever on the axis it's balancing on.

"Wha..."

"Leukemia."

My eyes fill with moisture again before I can stop them.

"B-But... You'll be okay, right? They just caught it, right? It... It's early enough to save you..."

He shakes his head sadly.

"No, baby. I've had it for some time now. There wasn't a reason to get any treatments. There's nothing they can do for me anymore. I've managed it so long because I was so healthy. You know…how strong I am…" he laughs shakily.

"...H-How long...have you known...?"

"About four months. Before you moved here."

"And you never _told _me? Don't you...think t-that's information I'd l-like to know?!"

"Chibiya..."

"And everyone else knows too, right? They've known this whole time! H-How could you...do this..."

"Chibiya, calm down..."

"Don't tell me to calm down! How do you expect me to calm down when you're...when you're..._dying_..."

As soon as I say it, a fresh wave of hysteria washes over me. The sobs come through like rips in fabric, and I start gasping for air as my lungs heave uncontrollably.

"Shhhh... Please..."

As I try to grasp back to whatever sanity I have, I'm finally piecing everything together.

_"Delic, what are you doing?" _Erika had asked long ago at the bar. _"You're not alright! You're in love with him! He loves you too. This is just... It's going to be so hard...for both of you..."_

_ "It's alright. I told you, everything is fine. I'm doing good, see? I promise... I won't hurt him if that's what you're worried about." _Delic had responded.

And then...the night of our first time...

_"I never...wanted to just...fuck you..."_

_ "I love you... Chibiya... Christ, I love you...so much..."_

And the day after...

_"I never thought I'd have moments like this with anyone..."_

The night we sang together...

_"You said you loved each other?"_ Erika had asked. _"You guys are so reckless!" _she was crying...

"You_ remember...when you told me you live for me? That...I give you a reason to live? I live for you too. I love you. I want to live every day like this. Just...with you. Do you promise you'll stay here with me? ...You wouldn't leave me, would you?" _Delic had told me after we performed.

After we visited Mairu and he spent days trying to cheer me up...

_"I've never...never loved anyone...like I love you... I'm just really glad you're here... I don't want you to be anywhere else... Promise... Promise me you'll always stay here... Promise..."_

His lack of appetite lately... Him always wanting to sleep...

How the _hell _was I so blind?!

He's watching me through his hazy eyes, trying to decipher what I'm thinking. I'm still trying to pick up my pieces, but it's impossible.

I lift off the bed angrily and go toward the door. I just don't want him to see me like this anymore. I can't be here... Not right now...

"Chibiya! Where are you going?" he asks, sitting up in the bed.

"I need... I need to get out for a minute..." I say, whirling to look at him. He looks defeated.

"...Are you coming back...?" he asks quietly.

I don't respond to him. I place my hand on the doorknob and yank it open.

"You promised you'd stay no matter what..." he continues, and his voice is shaky.

"And _you _promised you'd always be with me!" I shoot back, glaring at him. His eyes widen, and he sinks back into the covers, running a hand under his eyes.

I leave before he can respond.

I'm going to the only place I can think right now. Somewhere that hopefully makes me seem less insane.

You're thinking, you asshole. You're thinking, you're so selfish, Hibiya!

I'm thinking, you're absolutely right.

But of course, that shouldn't surprise anyone.

* * *

_Sachi: Right so... Ummm... I love you?_

_ Hibiya: You stupid commoner! I hate this story! _

_ Sachi: I'M SORRY! DON'T KILL ME! I really did drop hints! I just didn't make them crazy obvious because that would ruin the story!_

_Delic: I'm a little depressed now. Maybe Chibiya should do a striptease?_

_ Hibiya: Shut up and go sit in your hospital bed, you idiot!_

_ Sachi: *sigh* Review for me? I'll... I'll update faster if you do! I promise, next chapter is longer!_


	40. Chapter 40

_Holy mother of huffin' frick! I barely even know what to say! I've been BOMBARDED with feedback, and I only got one death threat! Most of you complimented me so much, it almost made me cry. I was going to wait until this weekend to update anything, but I got 21 reviews in less than 24 hours, so of course I have to post a new chapter for you! I was waiting for someone to tell me I'm taking it in a cliché direction. Since that issue never came up, I'll just go ahead and explain my reasoning. I'm sure ALL of us know someone who has either had cancer, died from cancer, or still has cancer. Personally, my grandmother had breast cancer, and my grandfather died from Lymphoma. It's still an awful epidemic, and it affects everyone. As for Leukemia, it doesn't show many symptoms aside from flu-like and chronic bleeding if cut. Ah, and bruising really easily. I figured someone like Delic and his inhuman strength could live with it normally for a long while. Now that we're done with that, let's get on to my love! (I warn you, I may get emotional in this one.) __Paranormal Alchemist__, if it was AIDS, Hibi-chan would have it too! You should probably prepare yourself for more sadness. __KoolaidShipping__, I'm sorry you cried! But, it WAS what I was aiming for! __Braverly-Homunculus__, it is horrible! That's why I made him have it! __erihan__, you procrastinator you. __The Local Mastermind__, I'm glad you like it! I'm sure it hit close to home for everyone. __Ganne200__, you're going to STAB me?! *floats away* Catch me if you can! Ah, I love you too! __Night Elric__, THANK YOU SO MUCH! You had me smiling dumbly for like, 10 minutes. I teared up while writing, but I didn't cry either, so no offense taken. __incidentalmusic__, I'm glad you thought so! __AllTheLovelyBrains__, I love you so muuuuuch! Thank you! __wheezerteebs__, a Toki slap is a little funny, but it's also serious business. __BlueRoseDream__, ah, sadly, England isn't in this story... He's in my other one though! __jusqualafin__, I love you too! I'm sorry! __nazupii__, I love you too! Really, I do! __Quiet. Crash__, of course I don't hate you! I'm sure Hibi-chan would appreciate your hug! __darkestlight96__, you tried to give up this story? __LoveAllAnime__, ahh, hello to you! Your review almost made me cry. Seriously, thank you. It means the world to me! __Cael Luciano__, Hibi-chan might be convinced to do so! Give him coffee! __Rai Rai Blue__, I love you too! I swear, I won't abandon you for Hetalia! I can do both! __tsukicchan__, stop crying! I'll give you pocky! __cheezee__, I'M SORRY! __KarkadeVantas__, ahh thanks! That what I was trying! Well, here we go... Are you ready for more sadness? ON WITH THE STORY!_

* * *

_Books, Stories, and Conversations_

I'm walking again.

At least this time, it's not in a little waiting room. I've blocked calls from Erika, Seiji, and Masaomi. Delic hasn't tried to call me once.

I wouldn't have answered anyway.

I'm walking through the cast iron gates again. I swear, I never thought I'd visit here alone. I thought Delic would be with me. I...

I thought he'd _always _be with me. I'm a fool.

The nurse at the front desk looks up at me, but this time she just waves me forward. I suppose Father had a conversation with her, or she just doesn't care anymore.

I mean, really, she seems to hate her job.

My feet carry me toward a sort of common room. I see many patients sitting together, mostly staring into space. I know they're probably doped up in Thorazine, Lithium, or God knows what.

I see a familiar head of dark hair sitting in a cushion by the barred windows. I make my way toward her slowly, taking the picture in.

Mairu is absorbed in a book, absentmindedly twirling a strand of hair between her fingers. It's in the loose braid again, but it's mostly falling down. I watch her smile as she reads, and it makes me smile too for the first time in ages it seems.

She folds it up and turns, immediately locking eyes with me. She frowns.

"Hibiya?"

"Hey...Mairu..." I greet weakly. My throat is hoarse from crying. I'm sure she can tell.

She moves toward me and thrusts herself in my arms for the first time in almost six years.

"I just got done writing you again... I wasn't expecting to see you so soon. When I said visit, I thought for sure you wouldn't come..." she says.

"Of course I would... I wasn't going to visit so soon, but... I just..." I cut off, holding onto her tightly. Her small hands rub my back.

"Tell me what's bothering you, brother," she says. Hearing Mairu call me her brother is enough to send me into another fresh wave of hysteria. The tears pour freely, but I don't answer her.

I can't.

She seems to understand. Her grip on me loosens, so I pull away too. Her hands wipe my tears away.

"Remember when I was little, and you would always come into my room and stay with me while I was sick?" she asks.

I nod to show I'm listening.

"Remember how I would cry all the time, and you'd never ask what was wrong?"

"Mm-Hmm..."

"Well, now it's my turn to be here for you," Mairu says, taking my hand in hers and leading me to the windowsill. She tells me to lie down, and I'm too upset to argue, so I do. My head is in her lap.

"Just focus on calming down," she says as she pulls out her book again. I close my eyes as she reads to me. I don't recognize the story. It's one I've never read, or probably even heard of.

To be honest, I don't care. I'm still trying to assemble myself.

"Hibiya, are you listening?" Mairu's voice asks from somewhere.

"Hmm?"

"I'm taking that as a 'no'. I asked you if you're hungry at all. The cafeteria here isn't that bad."

"No, I'm not hungry. I'll go with you if you want to eat," I say.

"I want you to talk to me. I honestly don't know how you can comfort someone and not ask what's wrong. I'm _dying _of curiosity!"

I laugh weakly, sitting up.

"Mairu... What do you think...happens when you die?" I ask.

"...Are you dying?"

"No, not me. Someone... Someone I really love..."

"Oh. Well, Kururi says it's like falling asleep."

"Kururi talks to you about death sometimes?"

"We talk about everything. You mostly."

"Me?"

"Kururi is scared for you."

I look at my folded hands in my lap, not sure what to say.

"Does she think I'm that weak?" I ask.

Mairu brushes her bangs away from her eyes.

"Hibiya, you're not _weak_. You're the strongest person I know. You just take too much on at one time and let it get to you. I know it's hard sometimes, but you can't save the world."

"I don't want to save the world. It's not like I'm tying a cape around my neck and jumping from building to building. I just... I can't even save the people I love."

"Maybe it's not your business to save them."

"...I can't look at it that way..."

"I know you can't. That's why Kururi says we should be scared for you. You try so hard to be there for others, you forget what you need. You forget almost everything. Tell me, did you even know it was your birthday before you read my letter?" she asks.

"...No..."

"Why? Were you with someone? Looking after someone?"

"...Yes... I was with my lover..."

Her crimson eyes widen.

"Lover?"

"The blonde that was with me last time. He's my lover. His name is Delic..." Saying his name hurts.

Mairu studies me for a moment.

"Is he the one that's sick?"

I nod because I can't talk.

Her hands lock around mine again.

"Oh, I'm so sorry... Hibiya, really, I am..."

"He... He has cancer... I just found out today... I... I left him there... Mairu, I left him! It was just...so hard to see him that way..."

"Is Delic the reason you've been so happy recently?"

"Yes..."

"He's your hero then."

"M-My hero?"

"That's what you need. Someone has to give you a reason to live. You can't live for yourself, can you?"

"Not at all."

"So, Delic is your hero."

"Yeah... I guess he is."

I can't see my hero attached to so many machines. I can't see him like that.

My hero...

My Delic...

My _everything._

"You left after he was awake already?"

"Yeah... It was...awful."

"Hibiya, you know I love you, right?"

I look at her in shock.

"Y-You do?" I ask.

"You're being _serious _right now? Of course I love you! Hibiya, you're the _only_ one I do love!"

I throw my arms around her.

"I love you too..."

"With that said, I don't need you to be my hero."

"Wha...?"

"You're my brother. You'll always be my brother. I've made my choices in life, and you've made yours. Unfortunately, we've had some made _for _us, but either way, we've been led in opposite directions."

I nod because I'm too confused to talk.

"I don't need you to look out for me. I'm fine where I am. I know you don't think that, but I promise I am."

"Where are you going with this?"

"Delic is the one who needs you right now. He needs you to be his hero."

My eyes tear up at this suggestion.

"But... How can I be his hero if I can't save him?"

She puts her hand on my thigh and squeezes, much like Erika always does.

"Sometimes... It's enough to just not be all alone, brother."

_"Promise me you'll never leave me, Chibiya... Promise me."_

I stand up abruptly from our seat.

"I love you. I'll write you again. Be safe, okay?" I tell her hurriedly. She smiles up at me.

"Give me a hug, Superman," she says, holding her arms out. I embrace her as tightly as I can. "Take care of yourself, alright?"

"I always manage," I huff.

"Seems to me someone always takes care of you. Like a cat."

WHAT THE HELL.

"I'm not a pet!" I hiss.

The saddest part? I can't even convince myself anymore.

* * *

I walk hurriedly through the hospital again. I haven't seen anyone, so I can only assume they all went home. I wouldn't be surprised if they did.

I've been gone for about five hours.

I find the room again, and look inside. Delic is curled under the covers in a ball, facing away from me. I can't tell if he's asleep or not.

I enter the room quietly, creeping toward the bed. He doesn't move. When I get near him, I see his eyes are closed.

I slip beside him on the bed, wrapping my arms around him. He jerks awake.

"W-Who's there...?"

"Hopefully the only person you let sleep with you," I reply quietly. He turns over so fast it makes my head spin.

"Chibiya!" His hands move to my face. "You came back..."

"Of course I came back... I promised, didn't I?"

His eyes are shining, and I find myself transfixed by his watery gaze.

"Delic... I'm so sorry..."

"No, Chibiya. _I'm _sorry. It was wrong of me to not tell you... You had every right to get mad..."

"I wasn't mad! Delic... I'm scared..." I whimper, curling into him. "I'm so scared... So scared..."

He pulls me close and peppers kisses on my jaw.

"Shhhh... I know..."

"I went to see Mairu... I didn't go very far. I just couldn't..."

"I know. I'm sorry," he says, petting my hair. "I'm just happy you're back. You came back..." he kisses my lips, slowly pushing his tongue inside.

"Mmmm, Delic..." I sigh, moving mine against his. He pulls away and locks his gaze with mine.

"Fuck," he sighs, pushing his forehead against mine. "That's what I was afraid of..."

"What?"

"You're giving me that stare..."

"What stare?"

"I didn't tell you because... You always look at me like I'm some sort of God. Now you're looking at me like I'm about to break in half or something... I never wanted you to have to go through this..."

"I love you. I'm _in _love with you. I'll never look at you like I don't worship you, because I do. I'm in awe of everything you do," I whisper.

His eyes grow wide.

"I'm upset that you would hide something like this from me... I thought you'd tell me everything. I understand why you didn't, believe me."

"Chibiya..."

"If there's one thing I ever want you to know, Delic... It's that I'll never leave you..."

He makes a choking sound and exhales sharply.

"I'm here," I say. "I'm here for you..."

He pulls me against his chest and starts shaking with suppressed sobs.

"Chibiya... Chibiya! I love you so much..."

"I love you too."

"Thank you... Thank you..."

I pull away from him and catch his lips with mine, wiping his tears away. He crawls over me as he deepens our kiss.

I don't know how serious this is right now. I don't know how long we have. I don't know if Delic will still be alive tomorrow.

But I'll be here with him.

* * *

_Sachi: I have the sudden craving for a Snickers bar..._

_ Hibiya: ...Seriously?! You finish a sad chapter, and THAT'S what you say first?!_

_ Sachi: ...But... They have nougat..._

_ Delic: Review for more love! We got 21 reviews last chapter! They were all for meeeeee!_

_ Hibiya: *sighs*_

_ Sachi: Yeah, so... Review like he said! Also, send me a Snickers bar!_

_ Hibiya: Stop talking about junk food, you plebian!_

_ Sachi: But they help me write!_


	41. Chapter 41

_You know...threatening my well-being isn't going to change the fact that Delic is sick... So there's really no need to tell me you're going to stab me... Because, you know, since I'm a sadist, those reviews make me laugh. Now, thank you for sending me imaginary Snickers! I swear, if I really got as many as the reviews said, I'd be morbidly obese! Last chapter got 23 reviews! Say what you want about angst, it gets feedback! I haven't had this many reviews since chapter 24! Now for my love to you! __incidentalmusic__, I'm taking that as you liked it. __Paranormal Alchemist__, an Oscar and an Emmy? Haha, I'd need to make it into a movie, then a series first, but thank you! It means a lot! __The Local Mastermind__, ah, I really enjoyed writing 'Fix You', so I'm honored it's your favorite! I loved working with Roppi-chan! Nah, it's not weird at all. Like I said, I figured it would hit close to home for more than a few people. __KarkadeVantas__, I shall try! I'm happy you thought it was beautiful! __Braverly-Homunculus__, ohhhh, I'm uh...glad you like it? Hehe... __shizayalover1623__, ...you stabbed me?! How am I supposed to finish the story if I'm dead?! Didn't plan that through, did you? Damn, you even said you wished it was Hibi-chan instead... *sighs* At least you said I did a good job! __AllTheLovelyBrains__, you're welcome! The Snickers only hit my head a little hard... __LoveAllAnime__, ahhh, thank you so much! I'm sure you don't really want me to answer that question, do you? __Ganne200__, I daresay this one is sadder than 'Psychosomatic Monsters'... You better love me, or I'll cut a bitch! :D __BlueRoseDream__, the Lithium was in the mental hospital. He went to visit Mairu. Hibi-chan will do what he can! __wheezerteebs__, they're so good! __Night Elric__, once again, I love you! __KoolaidShipping__,__ ohhh, thank you so much! __Logic Dive__, you cried? Awwww... Yay, more pasta! __erihan__, I look forward to your art! __Maru de Kusanagi__, thank you! __S. Oyabun__, I'm making you love angst? SCORE! __darkestlight96__, oh, really? Hmm... Maybe I should take this opportunity to tell you that it's just a story, and if I hear it influenced you in any way, I'll personally hunt you down and beat you with my laptop? I love you! Do as I say, not as I write! (just made that up, but I feel it works.) __Quiet. Crash__, I'm getting the feeling there will be 'SAVE DELIC' T-shirts soon... I'd wear one! __Guest 1__, thank you! I'm glad you think so! __NighttimeFirefly__, haha, I never focus on work. My mind is always somewhere else. I usually spend my shifts trolling people. __Rai Rai Blue__, nah, but it's the first time in a long while. I'd say, keep your tissues! __Guest 2__, you'll kill me? B-But... How will I write more?! Toki will save me! Now, let's get on with it then! ON WITH THE STORAHHHHH!_

* * *

_Unfortunate_

The next few days pass by quite uneventfully. I've been by Delic's side the entire time, waiting with him for the doctor to say we can leave.

Delic's blood cells are low. His abnormal white blood cell count is extremely high, and he's been steadily getting better. He refuses to take radiation, which is why it's taking so long.

"What's the point?" he had said. "It's not going to cure it, and I see no reason to lose my hair."

Today, I'm curled against him in the bed. I've gotten used to the frequent beeping of the machines in the room, and when we go home, I think I'll have a hard time sleeping without them. Everyone is in here with us right now, and it's a little crowded.

Like me, they're terrified to leave him alone too long.

"Dude, I'm _telling _you!" Seiji is saying. "If you guys do another show, it'll be monstrous! The fans will be happy just to see Delic onstage again." He's on the floor, his back propped against the bed. I'm closest to him, and even while sick, Delic seems to not like this fact.

"Maybe... It depends on when Goldilocks feels better," Saburo says. He's in one of the chairs the nurses brought in, settled against Kadota's shoulder.

"That'll be a little longer," Delic informs them quietly. He grins to assure them, but we can all see through it. We know he feels awful.

"Dr. Kishitani thinks he'll be well enough to leave within a week or so," I tell them. My head is on Delic's chest, and his hand is running through my hair.

"I should throw you a housewarming party!" Erika cheers from the floor. "I'll make a cake and everything!"

"I've had what you consider cooking. Delic would die of poisoning before he even got to enjoy feeling better," Kadota hisses, poking her back with his foot. She glares up at him.

"At least I don't make Saburo cook everything for me!"

"Actually, I cook because I hate cleaning. And in our apartment, the rule is that if one person cooks, the other has to clean," Saburo interjects.

I look at Erika's pouting face, noting the sunken in cheeks. She's wearing long sleeves in the warm weather of May, scratching at her arms idly. We all know why, but none of us comment on it. It's why Walker left.

She's on heroin again.

My phone rings from the little table beside me.

"Hello?"

_"Hibiya, dear! How's Delic?"_

Ah, Deborah. She's been an angel through all of this. I told her I'd understand if she fired me, but there's no way I could ever leave Delic alone while I went to work. She simply told me not to worry about it, and she could have her son take over my shifts since he's in town now. He's on summer break.

"Pretty good. Still devilishly handsome," I grin to him while he kisses my temple.

_"Oh good. Did they give him a release date yet?"_

"Not yet. I'm talking to the doctor about it later," I say. "I'm sorry you're having to work so hard."

_"It's no trouble at all! I'm just glad to hear everything is alright. My son wants to meet you."_

"...Meet me? Why?" I ask, confused. Everyone looks at me, since they're all listening in on my conversation. I suppose there's not much else to do.

_"I've been telling him how absolutely adorable you are! He says there's no way you're prettier than a girl, but I keep telling him you are."_

There's a quiet pause in the air as my face is engulfed in flames, then there's collective laughter directed at me.

"Oh man!" Seiji is laughing. "I _knew _you'd be a hot chick, Hibiya!"

I slap the back of his head and tell him to shut up.

"Oh, well... Thanks? I'll be sure to stop by while wearing a skirt."

Delic purrs from beside me.

_"Ahaha! That might cause some problems. Anyway, call me if anything changes. Love you!"_

"Love you too, Deb. Bye."

As soon as I hang up, Erika is almost in my face.

"You know, I've been thinking... I could make you the hottest girl ever, Hibi-chan!"

"...I _really _have no interest in that..." I mutter.

"That'd be quite the sight to see," Seiji says. I slap him again.

"_You _stay out of this! I've had to hear enough about that since high school from you!"

"Everyone was thinking it! You're too pretty to be a guy!"

"Ugh, just drop it!" I hiss.

"Everyone thought that?" Masaomi asks, breaking his silence as he joins the conversation. He's sharing a chair with Mikado, sitting close to Kadota and Saburo.

"Yup. There was this guy named Seth, and he was like, obsessed with Hibiya. I kept telling him he didn't have a chance, but he kept trying," Seiji says.

"...Seth? I don't remember any Seth," I say dimly.

"That's because I made sure he stayed away from you. He was a creeper in every sense of the word. Besides, you were always so drunk it worried me to think he might be near you."

"Oh, my _savior_," I grin. "I do owe you quite a lot for babysitting me. Mairu pretty much said the same thing."

"Does Mairu look like you?"

"...Stay away from my sister, Yagiri."

"Hey! Dude, she's like, 10! It was just an innocent question!"

Delic's face is between my shoulder blades, and his hands are under the covers on my hip bones, under my pants.

Ah, yes. Even while he feels awful, he's still a nympho.

"I wanna see your sister!" Erika says. "I bet she would convince you to cross dress! It's fun being a girl!"

"Can we _please _talk about something else?" I ask, swatting Delic's hands away as they try to enter my boxers. He whines, but obeys, and places them back on my hips. He thrusts his hips against my back so I know what he wants.

"You're truly insatiable," I whisper to him, and he nods. "Want me to ask them to leave?"

He shakes his head and pulls me closer so his mouth is against my ear.

"When we get home, I want to be able to last all night," he says so huskily it makes me shiver.

"Ah, fuck..." I hiss.

Honestly, I'm surprised he's lasted this long. I've been pressed up against him in this tiny twin sized bed for almost a week, and he hasn't tried a thing. I guess he must be feeling better if he's being his usual handsy self.

"I think you guys should do a show with my band," Seiji says. "Just a thought. It could be big though."

The door opens before any of us can respond, and the doctor walks in.

"Ah, good morning! It's awfully crowded in here!" he smiles. This is the most upbeat physician I've ever met in my life.

Meet Dr. Shinra Kishitani.

"Oi, Doc, when can I leave?" Delic asks, looking over me to level his gaze on the spectacled man.

"When your body lets you. Let me have a look," Shinra says. I get up from the bed to stand beside Seiji.

"Do you want some breakfast?" he asks me. "I'm thinking of going to the cafeteria to get everyone something small."

"Ah, that's actually not a stupid idea," I grin. He shoves me in front of him.

"Me and Kitty Kitty are going to get some snacks," he says to the group collectively.

"I'm not a fucking cat!" I hiss, stopping in front of him so he runs into me.

"Right, right. I'm buying Hibiya some cat food."

I kick his shin so hard he almost falls over.

"Be right back," I say, stepping over him as he holds his leg in pain. He yanks my shirt back and throws me over his shoulder.

"We're going to the roof! I'm throwing you off!"

"I'd love to see you try! Everyone knows a Yagiri never does what they say!"

"At least we're not self-centered Oriharas!"

And we leave the room in this fashion.

We arrive in the cafeteria, and Seiji glances sideways at me.

"So, how long has it been since you've actually slept?" he asks.

"Since Delic passed out," I reply, still facing forward.

"...What are you doing, Hibiya?" he sighs. "I'm worried."

"About what? You have no reason to worry about me. I'm not the one who's dying."

He slinks an arm around my shoulders.

"No, I'm worried about you..."

I shrug slightly and get a few Danishes and bottles of juice.

"Does Erika eat Danishes...? Damn, I can't remember..." I mutter.

"She'll eat anything if she's tweaked enough," Seiji huffs. "Just get her the damn thing."

I glance at him, but don't say anything. When we arrive to the cashier, he pulls his wallet out.

"Seiji," I begin.

"No. I don't want to hear it. You're missing tons of work, so who knows when you'll have money to spend so cavalierly again? Let me handle it."

I look at the ground angrily, because I know he's right.

We start walking back to the room in silence, him looking pointedly ahead.

"Why are you mad at me...?" I whimper, not sure if I can handle more stress right now.

"I'm not mad at you. I just wish you'd talk to me," he says. "I've known you longer than any of them. I know you're a mess and trying not to show it. I'd bet money Delic knows that too."

"Well, tell me how I'm supposed to act, Seiji," I hiss. "How would you react if Mika was dying?"

"I'd talk to you about it. You're my best friend, dude."

"...And if I died...?"

"It'd destroy me."

I stop, making him turn to face me.

"...I don't know how much longer I can pretend, Seiji..." I admit. "I know I have to be strong for him but..."

He walks in front of me and tugs me against his chest, making us hold the food haphazardly away from ourselves with our free hands.

"You don't have to be strong for me. When you want to talk, I'll listen to you. I mean, I always have, right?" he says quietly.

"...Thank you... I owe you so much..."

"Nah," he says. "Wait... You could dress like a girl for me!"

And I hit him with a Danish, making it bounce off his head.

When we arrive back to the room, everyone is still talking, including Delic. He looks up at me brightly.

"Good news! I get to go home today!" he says. I raise my brows.

"But... You just felt bad this morning... Why would Shinra allow that?"

"Leave it to you to find a flaw in this."

Seiji grins at him, then shoves my head forward so I look back at him in irritation.

"I've gotta go. Mika just texted," he tells me.

"You're still with her?" Saburo asks.

"Yeah. She doesn't like me here with Kitty."

"I'M NOT A CAT!"

"So, yeah, gotta go. Call me if something happens. Remember what we talked about," he says to me. I nod to him, then accept his hug.  
Of course, when I turn around, Delic is glaring at me.

I toss everyone their food, then settle beside the blonde.

"I love you," I mutter into his ear. "Stop looking upset."

"What did you two talk about?"

"Pretty much that he's worried about me. Same as always."

Seiji bursts back into the room with a horrified look on his face.

"...Seiji?"

He runs to me and grabs my shoulders.

"You need to go. Now."

"...Wha...?"

"I'm being fucking serious!" he yells, shaking me.

"Get your hands off him!" Delic snarls from his spot on the bed.

"Hibiya, run, now."

"What are you talking about? I'm not going anywhere."

"Dude! Your dad is here! I just saw him in the lobby talking to Shinra!"

Now his hands shaking me are the only things keeping me standing.

* * *

_Sachi: BEFORE you say anything bad to me about ending on a cliffhanger, I'm off the next two days, so I might be persuaded to write more!_

_ Hibiya: What more bad stuff can you possibly place in this story?_

_ Delic: Seriously._

_ Sachi: Well, most of the readers wanted a scene where Delic meets Hib-chan's dad, and believe it or not, I do take these requests into consideration. Plus, I did say once the angst starts, it will be steady, so technically, I'm not at fault here._

_ Hibiya: You better update tomorrow._

_ Sachi: Reviews will make me consider it! :D (I can't believe we're nearing 600! It's INSANE!) Honestly, I wasn't going to end on a cliffhanger, but I had to in order to help us reach 50 chapters. Sorry!_

_ Delic: We're sorry for her. But at least she gave you a lengthy update!_


	42. Chapter 42

_Time for another update! I would've posted it earlier today, but I had to clean our entire house. My sister somehow manages to make messes even when she's not home. That MUST be talent! I bought a Sailor Moon shirt yesterday! Ah, I'm so excited! In case you're wondering, she was the first anime hero I ever had when I was five years old. If not for that show, I never would've gotten involved in anime! I LOVE YOU SAILOR MOON! Now, we're moving right along! I must say, I'm really sad this story is ending soon. I've grown so used to adding chapters to it, it'll be hard for me to let it go. I mean, it's already the longest thing I've written word wise. Two more chapters and it will officially have more chapters than 'Psychosomatic Monsters'. Also, it's by far the most popular thing I've ever written. So, I love you all! Thanks for making me part of your Fanfiction experience! So now, to the love! __Paranormal Alchemist__, haha, you've been one of the most forceful about meeting Hibi-chan's daddy! __KoolaidShipping__, ah, let me return this. I LOVE YOU TOO! IF YOU GIVE ME ALL THIS FOOD I'M GOING TO GET FAT! __Night Elric__, haha, I've had those days. My managers usually work me to death. Honestly, all of them are quite the characters though, so they at least give me inspiration. __Braverly-Homunculus__, you wonder what both of them will do! I do too, haha. __Logic Dive__, I only leave things on cliffhangers if I plan on updating soon! __darkestlight96__, I did warn you! Also, if I wasn't mean, you wouldn't love me! __S. Oyabun__, kill him? Ahaha, it's not going to be THAT extreme. __KarkadeVantas__, cut you?! Nah, you'll be strong. Here's an update! __BlueRoseDream__, school used to fry my brain too... I have to go back next semester, and I'm DREADING it. School is made of sadness. Like beer. __AllTheLovelyBrains__, I love you too, my awesome lovely! __Quiet. Crash__, me too! Let's make those shirts! I'll see what I can do. Ganne200, ah, I mean it's GOING to be sadder than 'Psychosomatic Monsters'. I think. I love you too! __shizayalover1623__, hah, I forgive you. I've been getting many death threats, and I'm more than positive I'll be getting more. __LoveAllAnime__, thank you! I love you so much! __Anya-chan__, your favorite? Oh, thank you! __Rai Rai Blue__, ...I'm getting kidnapped? Or Toki? When you said, strap to a chair, I was thinking of something kinky... I didn't think it was creepy! I love you too! __NighttimeFirefly__, haha, cliffhangers tend to get that reaction! Now, enough of my rambling! On with the story!_

* * *

_Father_

Seiji is still tugging on my wrist, but I can barely feel it. My whole body has gone numb. I've been thinking about this moment since I left home all those years ago.

What will he say?

What will _I _say?

What...am I going to do...?

My father is one of those people that can get inside my head. I can tell myself all day that I shouldn't care what he thinks, but I do. For some goddamn reason, I care.

And his words have the power to destroy me.

On top of everything else I'm upset about, I'm not sure if I can do this right now. Especially in front of everyone.

All eyes in the room are on me, and Delic is scrambling to sit up in the bed. Seiji has stopped tugging on me, and he's looking at my face intently.

"Hibiya... You've never told me anything about your dad except that you hate him. Do you want me to kick his ass?" he asks. I can tell he's trying to make light of the situation, but I'm not in the mood to laugh. I simply stare at the door, waiting for the inevitable.

"Hibiya!" Seiji says, shaking me. "Come on dude, you're freaking me out!"

No response.

"Chibiya?" Delic's hand touches mine, and I squeeze his fingers tightly.

The door creaks open slowly, and I inhale sharply, waiting to be destroyed.

To my surprise, Mairu is the one who pokes her head in the room. I simply gawk at her.

"M-Mairu...?"

She crosses the room and tugs me into a hug.

"Hey Hibiya."

I grasp her tightly and lift her almost off the ground.

"You're shaking..." she says. "It's alright."

"Why is he here? What did I do? Mairu, are you okay? Why are you with him? What-" I'm cut off as she slaps my head.

"Seriously, it's fine! He just wants to talk to you. Plus, he got me out of the hospital just for the day, so I think you should calm down and enjoy this time with me."

How she manages to be so calm is beyond me.

"This is your sister, Hibi-chan?" Erika asks brightly, standing from the floor and swallowing a mouthful of orange juice. "She looks just like you!"

"Ah, we get that a lot. We're total opposites though. I don't freak out over the prospect of talking to my own father," Mairu says.

"...I'm not freaking out... I'm..."

"Scared?" Mairu offers. I nod, still holding onto her. She sighs.

"I know why he wants to talk to you..."

"Why?"

She shakes her head and levels her crimson gaze on Delic.

"You're Delic?" she asks him. He blinks, obviously taken aback, but nods.

"Thank you for caring for my brother. I'm sorry for my behavior last time we met. I was angry about everything else, and I took it out on Hibiya."

He grins at her and ruffles her hair.

"I love him more than anything," he says. "Besides, I knew you never meant what you said."

Kadota whistles from his chair.

"Damn, she's ten? She has better grammar than me, and I'm twenty-four!"

"Our parents were adamant about that," Mairu says. "How many languages do you speak, brother?"

I don't respond, because I'm still watching the door.

"Chibiya..."

"He's fine. Just freaking out."

Seiji is looking between Mairu and me.

"I think I just got my answer of what you would look like as a girl, Hibiya," he grins happily. "In a few years, she'll be one hot chick!"

Both Mairu and I glare at him simultaneously, making him step back.

"Whoa, two Orihara glares... I think my heart just stopped."

It's at this moment the door creaks open again, and a tall man in a dark suit walks in.

His hair is gray now, and he has more wrinkles than I remember. He's not as tall as I remember him being, or maybe I'm just taller. His golden gaze is set on me, but there's no fierceness behind it.

He looks like a worn down old man.

Delic growls at the sight of him, obviously thinking of everything I've told him about my father, but I can't even bring myself to hate him right now.

He looks _nothing _like the memory I've been terrified of for years.

The man who ruined me.

The man who raped my sister.

The man who sent me away...

Where is he?

"Hibiya," he says quietly, his voice raspy. "You're looking well."

I simply stare at him, not sure how to respond. Mairu pokes my face.

"I think he's short circuiting, Father," she tells him. I swat her hand away and find my voice finally.

"What are you doing here? Can't you tell by how far away I moved that I _don't _want to see you?" I hiss.

"I've known where you were for quite some time. I wasn't going to visit you, but..."

"How did you know where I was?"

"Hibiya, you're my son. I've kept tabs on you."

"Oh, really? All of a sudden I'm your son? I'm not the hindrance you sent away for telling the truth?"

"Can we not start this? I didn't come here to argue with you!" he hisses, stepping closer.

"I never wanted you to come here! It's not like I sent an invitation, so I'll say whatever the fuck I want!"

"You will _not _use that language with me! I'm your father, so show some respect!" he takes another step forward, and I do too. Now we're standing directly in front of each other, leaving everyone else in the corner of the room.

"I have no need to respect you! You're the reason I'm the way I am!" I shout.

"I don't know why I even bother! You're always so dramatic with _everything _you do! You've turned out to be a real bitch like your mother!"

"That horribly seems appropriate, Father," Mairu says from the bed. She's taken the liberty of sitting beside Delic.

"If you shout at him again, I'll tear you limb from limb," the blonde snarls.

"Oh, and who do you think you are?" Father hisses.

"He's my lover," I say.

He looks from my face to Delic's, obviously taken aback.

"Lover? On top of everything else you've done to this family, you're a fag too?"

Delic scrambles from the bed, trying to launch at him, but Seiji catches him around the waist.

"No way, dude! You're attached to too many machines to just get into a fight! If you rip the I.V. out you'll lose too much blood!" he says. "Let Hibiya handle this!" Seiji's right, after all. Part of having Leukemia means even the smallest cut can mean tremendous amounts of blood loss. The disease makes it harder for blood to clot.

"Let me go! I don't care!"

"Delic, sit down! Seiji's right, I can't have you hurting yourself on my account," I say quietly. He glares at me, but stops struggling. Instead of sitting down, he simply stands beside Seiji, watching my father menacingly.

"The correct term is homosexual, Father. And yes, I am."

"Can't say I'm too surprised. You _do _look just like your mother..." My father says, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Oh? That's all you're going to say? There's no snarky remarks on how I'm messing up the family name?" I hiss.

"You've already ruined the family name, Hibiya. You and your insane sister both."

"You ruined us! We have no reason to even try to make you proud, you child molesting asshole!"

At my words, Seiji lets Delic go in shock, and turns to my father with his own look of hatred. I never told the brunette anything about my home life, aside from the fact that I hated it.

Mairu is watching the scene with interest, but doesn't try to contribute to the conversation.

"STOP SAYING THAT! I NEVER TOUCHED YOU!"

"So I just made it up? Why the hell would I make something like that up?!"

"Hibiya," Mairu says quietly from the bed. "Stop it. He doesn't remember."

I look at him angrily, breathing hard.

"How do you not remember something like that? How can you forget something that's haunted me since I was nine years old?! That's not fair! Where's Mother, I'll tell her to remind you all the nights I was _screaming _because of you!"

"Your mother is dead! That's why I'm here!" he yells over me, making me freeze. I look from him to Mairu, trying to see if they're lying to me.

"...She's dead...?" I ask. "How?"

"The doctor's said it was an accidental overdose, but I don't know..." he says weakly. "I just found her passed out in the bathroom floor..."

"Accidental? You and I both know if it was drugs, it was no accident. Mother was a pro at taking obscene amounts of painkillers," I say viciously.

"That's what I said," Mairu offers. "It was hardly an accident."

Father grips his temples and tries to catch his breath.

"I'm here because I want you and your sister to attend her funeral..."

I raise my eyebrows.

"Why?"

"Because she's your mother, you ungrateful bastard!"

Delic storms forward again, striding past Seiji with ease. This time, I catch him by the arm and tug him back. The I.V in his arm is almost pulled out from the force of his anger.

"Delic, stop, please..." I say quietly, holding him around the waist.

He moves to stand behind me, and wraps his arms around my waist, staring angrily at the man before us again.

"Make no mistake, if I wasn't sick, you'd be a dead man," he snarls. Father simply ignores him.

"Will you come home with me? Just for her sake?"

"No."

"Hibiya, for one second, could you forget about your made up stories?! This isn't about any grudge you have toward me! It's about your mother!"

"It's not just you I have a grudge toward, and this isn't about that. I'm not leaving Delic behind for that woman who's only my mother in name. She was never there for me or Mairu. She's hardly a mother."

"You're truly an Orihara, Hibiya. Heartless in every way imaginable."

"I learned from the best."

He storms out of the room angrily, leaving us all inside. Mairu stands from the bed.

"Well, that was dramatic," she says brightly.

"Mairu, what do you mean he doesn't remember what he did to us?" I ask.

"Oh, it's like he's blocked it out. At first I thought he was pretending not to remember, but now I get it. He must have one messed up mental disorder to truly think we're making everything up."

"...He's the saddest man I've ever met in my life..." I say weakly, my poker face slipping finally.

"Agreed. I guess I need to catch him and see if he'll take me back to the hospital," Mairu says.

"No. I'll take you. I'm not leaving you alone with him again, regardless of whether or not he remembers," I say. "You can stay here with me until things calm down."

Delic kisses my neck and moves back to the bed, settling under the covers.

"I'm proud of you, Chibiya," he tells me.

"I'm proud of you too. I thought for sure you were going to murder him."

"I would have. Too bad you stopped me."

Seiji is looking at Mairu and me with a sour look on his face.

"I can't believe you'd keep something like that from me," he says.

"Seiji, what was I supposed to say? I don't tell everyone everything."

"I never would've stopped Delic if I had known that."

"Well, it's a good thing you didn't know then. Besides...he wasn't the same anyway..."

Mairu grips my hand tightly and looks up at me.

"Are you alright? You're being a lot calmer than I expected."

"I don't know... I'm just...not afraid anymore. He's not the same man I remember..."

The monster must have been fabricated from my subconscious. I don't even think I would have recognized him if Seiji hadn't told me he was here. I guess...it's time to move on...

He's just one more thing I can finally forget.

* * *

_Sachi: I know most of you wanted Delic to beat the shit out of him, but that's just unrealistic for this story. We have to remember that Hibi-chan is 22 years old, so his father would be older now. I'm thinking 50's or 60's. _

_ Hibiya: What's next?_

_ Sachi: Well, the next few chapters will be the hardest. Especially 45._

_ Delic: Oh, God. I can only imagine what you're going to type..._

_ Sachi: I know, right? Man, I can't WAIT! Now, review for love! We only have a few chapters left for you to tell me what you think! Much love to all of you! Until next time!_


	43. Chapter 43

_HELLO MY LOVELIES! Haha, I got off work a little early today, so I decided to spoil you with another update! (Although I'm not quite sure how spoiled you'll feel since we're nearing the end, but we'll all be strong.) It's a good thing too because my manager was creeping me out a little… He keeps saying if I marry him he'll buy me a car, and I thought he was kidding, but I'm starting to wonder… Anywho, once again I've gotten tons of feedback! Your death threats are starting to dwindle, but I'm sure they'll be back soon enough. I noticed something else too. I get some VERY kinky reviews sometimes… I'll read them and I'm like, "Is this person being serious…? Hmmm, I'm going to reply and be serious…" I'm glad I get so much love! I find the creepy reviews to be the most rewarding! Now, on to the love! __Ganne200__, I'm not trying to kill you! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter and Mairu! __KoolaidShipping__, I can't tell you what's going to happen! Just keep reading! Yay, more unhealthy sweet foods! Hah, I actually went to a store this morning before work to buy an energy drink, and the guy behind the counter is so used to me coming in he was like, "No candy bar today, blondie?" I was like, "Nah. I'm going to be different today." __Logic Dive__, are you serious? I was wondering why all this Sailor Moon merchandise is coming back out! I actually had the dolls when I was younger. You know, you had some really good suggestions for the ending? YOURS ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN MINE! I can't tell you how it'll end, but I'm sure you already know. __Rai Rai Blue__, sorry you were upset about the daddy thing! You have not gone too far! I'm disappointed that you won't ever kidnap me. *sigh* I love you always! __Braverly-Homunculus__, ah, I'm glad you liked it! __Quiet. Crash__, I can't tell you! I don't think you'd stop reading anyway. You're mine forever! __KarkadeVantas__, 45 isn't the last. My dad is 55 and he's…an asshole, but as far as I know, he's not a good fighter anymore. __BlueRoseDream__, in school, I was the person that sat in the back and drew comics all period. Haha, one time my Spanish teacher actually walked behind me while I was drawing Kaname Kuran for a friend and she said, "Oh you're doing so good! It looks just like the girl!" And I was thinking, "Kaname is very much a boy…" I laughed. __Paranormal Alchemist__, I accept your cake! Glad you liked it~! __Meep__, aw, don't cry! As for the not remembering thing, it's based a little on reality. I won't go into details for privacy reasons, but some people can abuse others and then have the luxury of forgetting because they can block it out for reasons unknown. The rest of us have to live with it. __AllTheLovelyBrains__, ahahaha! You're so funny! You want that to be your nickname? Alrighty then, my awesome lovely! (Naming something means I get to keep it. :D) __Cael Luciano__, I'm sorry you're missing out on the love! I'm giving you extra to make up for it! I'm glad you thought it was handled well! __TooLazyToLogin__, ahhhhh, I missed you! I love you too! __NighttimeFirefly__, I'm glad you'll stick with me until the end! I'm afraid some people won't! __Night Elric__, those are my best ideas too! I have four managers, but as far as I know, they all like me. Maybe the creeper one likes me TOO much, but that's okay… __homoizayaishomo__, I'm glad you love it! I'm sorry it's getting sadder, but I swear I have a plan! (Even if you won't all like it…) Enough of my rambling, because this A/N is almost 700 words by itself. On with the story~!_

* * *

_Homecoming_

To my displeasure, I had to take Mairu back to the mental hospital. I tried to tell her she could stay with me, but she was quite adamant about going back. She told me Father only filled out a one day pass, and she didn't have much of a choice.

We both knew she would want to go back anyway.

I took her on the bus with me after Erika stopped hugging her to death. The two got along famously, and I'm not sure how thrilled I should be about that, but Mairu seemed more than happy enough to let Erika play with her hair and tug on her all day.

By the time I left with Mairu, Delic was sleeping. He told me to go ahead and take care of my sister, and when I got back we were to relocate him to our apartment.

I didn't argue with him about it.

We both know why Shinra is letting him go early, though neither of us is mentioning it.

Seiji offered to go with me to the mental hospital, but the look of wrath Delic gave him made me tell him no thanks. I find it's best not to bother the blonde, especially while he's sick.

The entire bus ride was spent with Mairu almost asleep on my shoulder. It was entirely rainy and miserable outside, so it's understandable that she would be tired. I was wishing we could have more time together, but it was only wishful thinking.

It won't ever be enough time.

After I checked her back in, and we both said our goodbyes, I boarded the next bus and headed back to the hospital for Delic.

Currently, I'm sitting beside him on the bed, and we're waiting for Shinra to bring us the wheelchair. It's hospital policy that patients leave in wheelchairs.

"Chibiya," Delic sighs, "This sucks."

"I know. Just think of it as an excuse to not have to use your legs," I say.

"I'd rather walk. Who knows how much longer I'll be able to?"

This sends a cold chill through me, but I try to hide it.

"Don't talk like that. Please, don't."

He looks at me and tilts my chin up so I'm looking at him.

"I know how hard you're trying. It's okay to break down, Chibiya. I'm putting a lot on you…"

I shake my head and cling to his hand.

"I'm fine. Let's… Let's just talk about something else…" I whimper.

We're alone in the room because Delic made everyone leave. Kadota and Saburo are supposedly writing more songs for Delic to write lyrics to in his free time, Erika is working, Mikado and Masaomi went home, and Seiji went to see Mika. I'm glad for this, because I want to be selfish with Delic's time.

I'm sure they all knew that when they voluntarily left us alone.

Delic is still looking at me sadly when Shinra walks back in, pushing a wheelchair.

"Here you go, Mr. Heiwajima! You're almost free!" he says happily. Delic glares at him, but flops in the wheelchair nonetheless, a frown on his face.

"Ah, don't mind him. He's just grumpy," I say. Shinra wraps an arm around my shoulder.

"It's fine, it's fine. As a doctor, I've heard it all. Do you know I get death threats all the time? My wife says it's because I'm obnoxious. I don't think so though! Do you think that?" he asks me so quickly it's hard to think of an answer.

"I, uh… No?"

"I know! I think I'm awesome! Awesomely friendly! It's important to develop a relationship with your patients in order to be a good physician! I know tons more about Mr. Heiwajima than any other doctor in here would've bothered to learn!"

Delic rears his head around to look up at him fiercely.

"Like what?" he grumbles.

"I know that you broke your leg in the third grade and spent quite a while in the hospital in your teen years and-"

"Okay, okay! God, you're obnoxious!"

Shinra laughs heartily like he was told a joke.

"You and Celty would get along famously!" he says.

"Um, we're very grateful to you, Shinra, but we really must be going," I say, casting Delic a warning glance as he tries to push his chair to run over Shinra's foot. "Delic needs to rest again and I have some calls to make."

"Ah, of course. One more thing," the doctor says as he fishes through his pocket. "Ah, here!" he holds a bottle of pills for Delic to take. The blonde only huffs at them.

"I don't need more drugs! Especially not fucking painkillers! I told you I had a problem with those!"

"You're the one that wanted to leave early. I can't let you go without giving you these," Shinra replies.

Delic simply rolls the chair out of the room, not looking back.

"I'm sorry about that," I tell the spectacled man. "He used to be addicted to them and… I guess he's scared."

Shinra turns to look at me.

"Here. You take them," he commands as he hands them to me.

"If they're in the house, he'll get mad at me…"

"Trust me on this. He's going to need them. You know…how much worse this is going to get, right? I told you?"

My heart sinks, but I nod.

"I know…"

He places a hand on my shoulder.

"If you ever need me, don't hesitate to call. I don't normally do house calls, but I'll make an exception."

"Thank you…" I say weakly, shoving the pill bottle in my pocket. I hurriedly wipe my tears away before I join Delic outside.

"I fucking _hate _doctors!" he says.

"Didn't you get mad at me for saying that when I was sick?" I question.

"This is different. When they start telling me how to live my life, it pisses me off."

"We're only trying to help…" I mutter, wheeling him toward the exit. He turns his head to look at me.

"Chibiya, I don't mean you."

"I know what you mean."

He's silent the rest of the way, until we reach the exit and he stands to get out of the chair.

"Do you want me to call a cab?" I ask. "It's a long way to walk since we're carrying your bags."

"Don't call a cab…" he says. "I want to be outside for a little bit."

I don't argue with him, because I know how important his freedom is to him. I simply walk beside him while he looks at everything like he'll never see it again.

Who knows? Maybe he won't.

As we near the apartment, he starts to slow down a little.

"Delic?" I ask worriedly. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I want that look off your face…" he mutters.

"What look?"

"You know what look."

I sigh and move to grab his free hand with mine.

"I'm sorry, love. I can do many things for you, but I can't change my face." He looks at me incredulously before he starts to laugh.

"I suppose that's true. I meant your expression, smartass."

"Oh. Well, I'll try," I say.

We enter the building and make our way upstairs. It takes me a moment to find my key, but we get inside all the same. As soon as we're in, I drop the bags on the floor and take Delic's from him.

"Are you hungry or anything? I can make you something," I tell him.

"I'm not hungry."

"Oh, do you just want to sleep?

"No."

"…Delic, you need to rest."

"What's the point? I mean, really, what's the point?"

I look at him sadly, but I can't give him an answer. I simply move past him and enter the bedroom so I can wipe my eyes again without him seeing. I hear slight shuffling and I know he's in the room with me.

"Chibiya…"

"I'm fine," I say quietly. I turn to give him the best smile I can, but I know he sees through it.

He's always been able to see through it.

He moves toward me and pulls me against his chest.

"No, you're not. I'm not stupid."

I hug him tightly in return and bury my face in his shirt.

"No… No, I'm not alright…" I agree.

His hands move to my waist and he dips his fingers in my pants.

"Delic…"

"Let me take care of you now, Chibiya…" he says. I look up at him and accept his mouth against mine, parting my lips for his tongue. Soon, we're tangled together, slowly making our way to the bed.

"Fuck, I was waiting so long for this," he growls, unbuttoning my pants and throwing them in the floor. "Do you know how hard it is to sleep beside you and _not _touch you?"

"I have some idea what it's like," I tell him, lifting my hips as he slides my boxers off and throws them with my pants. "It was hard for me too."

He grins at me before he allows me to peel his shirt off, lifting it over his head. I marvel at his chest even now. Slowly, I move my hands to his pants and undo the silver button, never breaking eye contact with him. He helps me by kicking them off, connecting our mouths heatedly while I toss his boxers away too.

I almost forgot I was still wearing my shirt, until Delic reminded me by hiking It up over my head.

"You could've asked," I grumble.

"That's not as fun," he replies, moving his head to lick my chest, swirling his tongue around my nipple.

"Nnngh…Delic…"

"Mmmm, Chibiya. This is the best treatment I've had all week…" he says, moving to hover over me, before he slams our hips together and grinds against me.

"Ahhhhh! F-Fuck…" I hiss, moving mine up to thrust against his. He smiles at me and repeats it, moving his hand to fumble toward the bedside drawer.

"I must say… I'm glad…you bought lube…but I kind of…miss sucking…on your fingers…" I gasp as my mind turns to mush while his hips ride against mine.

"Ah, either way is good for me. I just find that lube makes it easier," he grins, popping the cap off and coating his fingers generously. I close my eyes as enters the first one.

"Ahhh…Delic…" I sigh happily, thrusting down against the digit so it enters all the way. He laughs above me.

"Eager, are we?"

"Heh… Don't…act like you're…not…"

He starts to thrust it in, keeping his gaze locked on mine.

"I never said that. You always take my fingers in like a good slut."

"Don't start that…again…" I hiss.

"But _Chibiya~_, you're _my _slut," he tells me as he enters the other one inside harshly and curls them upwards.

"_Ahhhhhh!_ D-Deli…nnn…"

"This is the look on your face…I want to keep seeing…" he says quietly. I open my eyes to look at him, not quite sure when exactly I closed them. He's looking at me in awe again, much like he's always done.

"Keep looking at me…" he says as he pushes the last finger inside to join the other two. I clench my eyes shut against my will as he slams against my prostate.

"Hahhh… There…please…"

"Keep looking at me..." he says again. I wrench my eyes open to see him pull his fingers out, leaving me with a feeling of hollowness. I watch greedily as he coats his erection with the lube.

"Hurry, Delic… I need you…" I whisper. His eyes grow wide, but then he slowly begins to push inside.

"Mmmmmm… Oh, _God,_" I mewl, clutching his shoulders as he continues to push in. He bites his lip and tugs my legs around his waist before he sheathes himself completely. He doesn't start moving right away though, which is odd for Delic. He's simply watching me as I pant and try to welcome the intrusion.

"W-Why…aren't you…moving…?"

"I want to remember this moment…always."

My eyes fill with tears again, but this time he sees them. One of his hands reaches up to wipe them away, and he kisses my lips tenderly.

"Don't cry…please…"

"Move…" I say. "I want you to move…"

He pulls his hips away from mine, but thrusts them forward instantly, making me throw my head back.

"Ahhhhhhh, there… Like that…"

He does it again, still trying to wipe my tears away even though it's a losing battle. Soon we've developed a pace, and somewhere in my emotional turmoil, I manage to arch against him and help him move.

"Chibiya, I told you to keep your eyes open…"

"I…I'm trying…"

I open them again, focusing on the hazy magenta orbs above mine. They're analyzing me, scrutinizing me, committing me to memory. It's just too much.

I don't want to think of how soon this will be all I have left. Memories aren't enough.

They're never enough.

I throw my arms around his neck and pull his mouth to mine, greedily tasting him as the sobs finally consume me. He wraps his tongue around mine and tangles a hand in my hair, still thrusting inside of me.

"Chibiya… Chibiya, I love you… I'll always love you…"

"I…I love you too. Delic…Delic, please…faster…"

He complies, slamming inside quickly, while his tongue does the opposite and languidly massages mine. I'm trying to gather my composure but I can't. I've been holding it in since Shinra told him he could leave.

We both know why, but neither of us ever mention it.

"Delic! Deliiiii… _Ahhhhhhhh~!_" I reach my climax first, still moving against him to help him reach his. My eyes stay locked on his the entire time, and I watch him bite his lip and shake, before I feel his release inside of me.

"Mmmmnnnn…feels…so good…" I purr, reaching up to claim his mouth again. The tears still come, from my eyes or his, I don't know.

Maybe it's both.

Even if we never say it, we both know why we're home. We both know why…

We just _can't _mention it…

Shinra sent Delic home because there's nothing left to be done.

He sent him home to die.

* * *

_Sachi: I want you all to remember, that I** LOVE** you, and I give you all **hugs** and **kisses!**_

_ Hibiya: No one cares about that!_

_ Delic: Can you think of a story that doesn't make me want to kill myself?_

_ Sachi: I said it wasn't going to be happy! I told you I'm not at fault, Deli-Bear! Once an idea hits me, it has to be written! I'm sorry!_

_ Hibiya: Review for love. Also, a quicker update. We're really grateful to you all for helping us reach over 600! _

_ Sachi: Indeed! *prepares for death threats and returns of her kisses*_


	44. Chapter 44

_Okay, so I'm a little pissed off right now. I had this damn chapter halfway done and my laptop froze, decided to tell me it has a virus, and shut down. So now I have to type it all over again. The good news is I fixed the virus as far as I know… STUPID TECHNOLOGY! Me VS the laptop, round three. (BITCH!) In other news, if someone wants to legitimately make a 'SAVE DELIC' T-shirt, send me one! I'll wear it forever! Although after a while it will most likely be covered in Toki's fur, because he likes to lounge on me constantly. Earlier he kept hitting me with his tail, so I dealt with it like I always do._

_ Me: Toki, if you don't stop, I'm going to smack your tail and hold you against your will._

_ Toki: *casually gets up and walks away*_

_ Me: I KNEW YOU COULD UNDERSTAND ME!_

_ So, yeah. I can't believe all the feedback! You guys are the best! I had to work all day again and my email alerts kept going off. I was seriously giddy for all of them! You're all horribly appreciated! Now, for my love! __erihan__, it's not necessarily the short end of the stick…. I gave him tons of excitement along the way! Thank you again for your awesome fanart! I love you! __tsukicchan__, I LOVE YOU TOO! I THINK YOU'RE AWESOME TOOOO! __KoolaidShipping__, energy drinks ARE the best! They keep me going! Millions you say?! Ah, I actually have many series of my own, plus tons more in my head. If I'd stop being lazy, I might actually get published… *sigh* __KarkadeVantas__, I'm so glad you think so! I guess if it's sad, I'm doing my job! __Logic Dive__, You think I'm writing it beautifully?! OMIGAHHHH! Aw, you're sick? I'm sorry, love! This Sailor Moon thing is the greatest thing I've heard since my coworkers decided to sing me a song the other day! __BlueRoseDream__, hyper typing is the best though! If my teachers had thrown my stuff away, I probably would've flipped out… __Braverly-Homunculus__, it would be sad… But sometimes that's life! __Rai Rai Blue__, kidnapping is cool with me either way, as long as I get to be entertained… I do love creepy reviews! Ah, how do I deal with my creeper boss? I ignore him. Actually, most of my male coworkers are a little creepy… I find they can't really help it, and as long as they don't touch me, I'm cool. __The Local Mastermind__, I'm sorry! Really! __Ganne200__, Shinra is my comical outlet! __LoveAllAnime__, I love you! I'm not doing it TO you! I'm just writing what my brain tells me to! __AllTheLovelyBrains__, closet, you say? Ah, I wouldn't call the cops! I'd join you in the closet and we could scare people and build a crazy friendship! *waggles eyebrows suggestively*__ jusqualafin__, but you have to keep reading! I'll curl into a ball and die if you don't! __Quiet. Crash__, D: Why am I doing this to you? Well, 1. I'm a sadist… and 2. I'M SORRY! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE MEEEEEEE! __nazupii__, don't sob! __Meep__, I can't tell you how long is left! Just keep reading! __idiedbecasueofthisstory__, a-are you really dead? Like, for real? …Wouldn't that make you a zombie? MY FIRST ZOMBIE REVIEW! __Cael Luciano__, I'm so honored you quote me! I'm sorry, but I can't use those happy endings… But, I am glad to say hello to my new Facebook friend! __LimeCrayonify__, ahhhh, I'm sorry lovie! __darkestlight96__, I always welcome new readers! I'm glad you think it's amazing! I love yoooooou! __TooLazyToLogin__, I LOVE YOU TOO! School is always a bitch… __NighttimeFirefly__, procrastination is the best though! I'm a pro! __LovelySpiral__, it's hard to type it too! If it makes you feel any better, you have my love! __Bakaureshii__, crying for ten minutes?! I'm so sorry! I'm using song names for the next two chapters, I think. They're easier to write to! (Remember from 'Fix You'?) Now, on with the story!_

* * *

_Another Day_

_(Rent Soundtrack)_

_[There's only us, there's only this… Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other road, no other way… No day but today.]_

Delic is lying on the couch, his head in my lap. We've been doing this for the past few days, just watching television and curling up together. It's really all I want to do anyway. The past few days have been nothing but a languid mixture of lazing about and sex.

Delic still hasn't said a word about what's going to happen soon, and I haven't tried to make him. What's the point in talking about it? We need to live for _now_.

Because Delic doesn't have later.

He groans and curls into himself for a moment, obviously in another bout of pain. He doesn't like me to see it, so I try to ignore it. He knows it's hard for me, because he knows everything about me.

It's the main thing I'm going to miss the most. He just _knows _me… He's always known me.

He reaches to the coffee table for the remote, then starts flipping through the channels. He pauses after a moment.

"What do you want to watch, Chibiya?" he asks.

"Me? Oh, nothing. Whatever you want," I say as I comb through his hair with my fingers.

"That's not an answer. You've been doing _nothing _for the past three days! Just because I have to suffer doesn't mean you do."

"…I only want to be with you, Delic," I tell him quietly. He turns his head to look up at me.

"We can be together anywhere. We don't have to stay here."

"Yes we do. You feel bad, and I can't show my face in public just yet."

The next morning after we got home from the hospital, Delic was flipping through channels only to pass a news report. I made him go back because I thought I saw my name.

I was right.

My _lovely _father let the press do coverage of my mother's funeral. He even told the cameras that I refused to attend because I'm too busy living in sin.

_"Hibiya is enjoying the grunge lifestyle in the city," _he had said with a shameless face.

Now the press knows that I'm not only alive, but also scouting possible locations I could be in. I was _livid_. I know Mikado said people like to follow the lives of famous people, but I never thought I would be part of that charade. Mikado actually told me I should probably lay low for a while, because the press is making me seem like an ungrateful monster toward my _poor _father and deceased mother.

At least he didn't mention Mairu. She gets to stay in the shadows.

"Ah, still too famous, Chibiya?" Delic grins cheekily.

"Shut up," I say.

Suddenly, I'm hit with inspiration. You know the kind I mean. It's not necessarily a _great _idea, but you're thinking of someone else's well-being, and fool yourself into thinking it could be fun.

I only want Delic to have fun. If he's willing to forget his pain to go out with me, I should be willing to do the same.

I'll sacrifice every bit of pride I have for him. Besides, he _did _tell me he'd love to see this once… I told him he was crazy at the time, but now… Now seems like a good time to try.

"I have to make a quick call Delic," I tell him, patting his head so he knows to lift off my thigh.

"Huh? To whom?"

"Just someone. I was thinking about maybe going to the bar Seiji always frequents at tonight. He's playing there now, you know."

"…Is _he _the one you're calling?"

Honestly, this Delic VS Seiji thing is starting to feel like a never ending battle of stupidity.

"_Yes, _Delic. I have to ask him a favor."

He grumbles unintelligibly and lifts his head, flopping back down as soon as I stand.

"Do you think you feel well enough to go out?" I ask.

"Of course I do. I brought it up."

I smile at him and kneel on the floor so I can kiss along his neck. He sighs contently and threads his hands through my hair, pulling me closer as I nip his skin with my teeth.

"Mmmmm, Chibiya~."

"Would you forgive me for calling Seiji if I made you feel good~?" I purr, crawling on top of him to push him into the couch cushions.

"Ahhh, maybe. You'll have to make me feel extra good though."

I smirk at him as I start to kiss down his neck again, pausing to hike his shirt up so I can work on his chest.

"Mmmmmnnn…"

His voice encourages me, so I dip lower to lick his navel as my hands work his button.

"Chibiya…"

Then, I free his already hard arousal and lick the head teasingly, which makes him turn into a puddle on the couch.

"Ahhhh… Oh, God…" he groans, gripping the cushions so his knuckles turn white.

Since I've gotten more practice, I've mastered the art of giving Delic oral. I mean, he was so insistent that I learn it, so really I had no choice. Either way I expertly engulf the entire length and grip his thighs, helping to lift him in and out of my mouth.

"Y-You… Since when…can y-you…deep…throat…?" he gargles, lifting his hips to force me to swallow more of him. I comply and moan a response, the vibrations giving him even more stimulation.

"F-Fuck… Chibiya…Chibi…yaaaaaahhhhh…"

I swirl my tongue around him, making him hit the back of my throat as I help him thrust forward again. He garbles more words, but I can't make any of them out. I think it's mostly just sound effects by this point.

"Ah… Nnggggghhhhhhhh, Chi… Gonna…._hahhhhhhhhhhh_…"

It's after the last long sigh he emits that I brace myself for his release, and swallow every bit of it as he sinks into the cushions, completely satiated.

Delic is panting to catch his breath, and levels his gaze on me as I travel back up to his face.

"…You… That was…_amazing_…"

"I learn from the best," I say, licking his chin as he regulates his breathing. His hands move to my neck and crash my mouth to his, which can only mean he's tasting himself, but I choose not to mention it since I've done the same thing before. Sometimes, the situation just calls for unsanitary actions.

"Mmmm, Delic, I'm glad you enjoyed it… Now, get dressed."

"…Wha…?"

"You wanted to go out, right? We're going out."

"Now I kind of want to stay in…"

"No way! I'm planning a surprise for you!"

His hazy orbs settle on me again.

"Better than another blowjob?"

"…_You _are something else entirely."

I shuffle off of him, grabbing my phone while he huffs and crosses his arms in defiance. He's pouting. How _like_ Delic.

I call Seiji first to ask for my favor. He's enthusiastic about it, as I thought he'd be. By the time I'm off the phone with him, he's already promising to call everyone else.

The next call I make is to Erika. This favor is more for her than me. Her squealing in my ear is enough to let me know she'll do it, so I tell her to hurry over.

When I enter the living room again, Delic is standing and pulling a clean white T-shirt over his head. He looks at me.

"Ready to go?" he asks.

"No. You're going first," I tell him.

"…I am?"

"Yes. It's part of my surprise that you go first."

He looks at me uncertainly.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" he asks quietly.

"Are you feeling bad again?" I ask in concern, moving toward him to observe his features. He huffs and squishes my face between his hands.

"_I _feel fine. I'm worried about _you_. Aren't you concerned about the press?"

"Nope. Not right now. My plan is pretty solid."

He casts me another glance like he thinks I've gone insane, but he relents and makes his way to the door.

"Wait!" I call. "Make sure your phone is charged! And take a cab! Seiji knows you're on the way, but if you start feeling bad call me and I'll come get you and-" he cuts me off as he pulls my face to his.

"I'm fine. Don't worry so much," he grins. "Just focus on your surprise or whatever."

I nod and kiss him again for good measure, then watch him leave. The next time my door opens is when Erika slams inside.

"I can't believe you're letting me do this!" she says, waltzing inside and pulling a very large bag behind her. "I'msoexcitedIcould**EXPLODE**!"

"…Huh?"

She wordlessly pulls me toward the bedroom and starts pulling my pants off.

"Erika!"

"Relax, would you? It's nothing I haven't seen before! Last time I checked, Walker is a man too," she huffs like it's helping the situation. She tugs them off and looks at my legs.

"…Are your legs naturally so hairless, Hibi-chan?" she asks.

"Wha… Yes? I don't shave them or anything…"

"That's so unfair! I was thinking we'd have to shave them, but you're already ahead of me!"

"Ah, sorry. Maybe you see why everyone always thinks I'd be a good girl?" I offer.

"Are your armpits hairless too?"

"…Do they have to be?"

"Yes!"

"Looks like you'll get to shave after all," I sigh, letting her hike my shirt up.

"Hmmm, they're not bad either. In all honesty, the shirt I brought you has short sleeves, so I _guess _we can cut corners and not shave them. I mean, if you're fine with _cheating_."

"I'm cool with cheating."

"Ugh, fine."

She rustles through her bag and pulls out the outfit she brought over for me.

"I memorized your size when we went shopping last time, and I always thought you'd maybe get drunk and let me do this, so I invested in this outfit!" she explains. "I never would've guessed you'd let me do it sober!"

"Ah, well. Things change."

Immediately, she pulls the white button-up shirt over my torso. She tugs a black skirt out of the bag and tells me to stand up so she can put it on.

"You are aware that I'm perfectly capable of dressing myself," I hiss.

She pouts, but gives me the material so I can put it on.

"I was pretending you were a Barbie…" she sighs.

"I noticed."

She observes me giddily as I finish zipping the skirt up.

"Ooooh, you're going to look so HOT!"

"I want you to remember that this is only so people can't recognize me. I think you're enjoying this too much."

She smiles at me and pulls out some _very _risqué boots. They're black and have fuzzy trim, with a wedged heel. They tie all the way up, and I realize they're going to reach up to just below my knees.

"Didn't you have any other shoes for me?"

"None that were as cute!"

I hold my legs out so she can tug them on and tie them up. As soon as she finishes, I stand up and revel in the fact that I'm taller than her. …Then again, she's not wearing her heels right now.

Shut up.

Erika looks me over, then hands me a black jacket with tan fur trim.* I pull it on without question, since I know she would just force me to wear it no matter what.

"Looking good!" she tells me enthusiastically. I glare at her, then watch in horror as she reaches for her make-up bag.

"Do I _have _to wear make-up? I mean, after you give me the wig, I'll look pretty unrecognizable as it is."

"Yes, you have to wear it! It'll complete the image! Plus, I've studied techniques on how to show off your golden eyes!"

"…You're studied too much for this…"

I give into my fate and sit on the edge of the bed as she applies my make-up. Every now and then she'll stop and pull back with a look of intense concentration on her face, then she'll go to work again.

Finally, as she's applying my mascara, I'm able to open the eye she's not harassing, and look down at her arm. She has the sleeve rolled up just high enough to reveal her bruised skin, showing the beginning of her track lines. I look at them sadly.

She pulls back after she's done, then looks at me happily, pausing when she notices where my gaze is focused.

"You're not going to lecture me like everyone else?" she hisses. "Walker said it made me look trashy."

"I'm not going to say anything about it. What's there to say? I know why you're doing it, and I can't make you want to stop. Only you can do that."

"…You're the first person to say that…"

"Have you spoken to Walker recently?" I ask.

"Yeah… He wants to work on things, but he said he'll only come home if I check into rehab again…"

"At least you know he wants you back."

"I hate rehab, Hibi-chan. It's awful… Detox alone makes you feel like you're going to die. I don't think I can do it again…"

I pull her in for a loose hug, then stand up.

"Enough of that. Don't you have some tacky wig for me?" I say.

She grins a Cheshire grin, then pulls out the offending piece. As it goes over my head, I note that it's at least black like my natural hair color, and it goes to my shoulders. I still have bangs, and it's not too hard to deal with.

It'll take some getting used to having hair this long.

"Oh my _God_, Hibi-chaaaan! You look like a fucking supermodel!"

I raise a brow, then move to the bathroom (as best as I can in heels) to see my reflection.

What I'm greeted with makes me freeze.

I _do _look just like a woman. A very scrawny woman, but a woman nonetheless. I tug at the wig, noting how tight it is. It's a good thing since I can't have it falling off.

"What do you think?" Erika asks brightly as she moves behind me. "Pretty good, huh? Would you fuck you?"

"I would," I grin. "I might even call me back the next day."

She doubles over in laughter, saying I'm an idiot.

"Seriously, Erika. You should go back to school… You'd be an amazing beautician."

"Yeah, yeah. Don't start about my future again. I don't want to think about it."

"I don't want to either. So let's drop it."

We both know what future I'm referring to.

I'm glad we dropped it, because I don't know if Erika used water-proof mascara or not.

* * *

We enter the bar together, both of us the same height now since Erika's in heels. To my delight, we turn plenty of heads.

"Supermodel Hibi-chan strikes the hearts of millions," Erika giggles.

"Shut up! I knew we should've tried to blend in more! We're drawing too much attention!"

"Ah, I like it this way. What's the use in being somewhere if no one is going to look at you?"

I sigh as I fall into step with her. We near the back where everyone is sitting, and I'm actually pleased to see Delic is getting along with Seiji. They're all sitting at the bar, aside from Mikado and Masaomi, who are standing.

As we near, Seiji's eyes fall on me, and his playboy gaze consumes his face.

"Well _hello_. Who's your friend, Erika?" he purrs. Everyone turns to me then, but no one greets me.

Really? Am I that unrecognizable?

"Oooh, you've met her before," Erika laughs. "She's my _best _friend."

"I have a feeling we'll be best friends too~. What's your name, darling?" he asks me. I give him a glare, then kick his shin.

"Seiji, seriously, touch me and _die_," I hiss.

Suddenly, things get very loud.

"_Chibiya?!_" Delic asks, his jaw dropping. I smile at him fondly, placing a hand on my hips.

"Yup. I'm a girl tonight," I say. "Erika did this, so don't say it's too revealing or something."

"Hey! I think you look hot!"

"Seriously?! Do you _know _what I was thinking?! God, Hibiya, you suck!" Seiji wails, making me cover his mouth threateningly.

"_Seiji_, shut up!" I snarl. "The entire point of this outfit is so people don't recognize me! Don't say my name!"

He simply gawks at my face close to his, then slowly starts to lean in.

"SEIJI!"

He jerks away and grabs his temples.

"God, I can't look at you like this! It's too weird!"

I sigh at him and try to run a hand through my hair, but pause as I realize my hair is longer now. It takes longer to run through it.

"You and your libido. Are all Yagiris this bad?"

I pause as I feel arms around me, then turn to see Delic's face near mine.

"You look _beautiful_," he says. "I mean, you always look beautiful, but…wow…"

I smirk at him and turn to face him.

"Oh? Does Deli-Bear want to take the naughty girl home and _punish _her~?" I mewl, kissing his jaw until my lips hover over his. He growls and pulls my face against his, devouring me heatedly.

"Later…I'm going…to punish you…" he says breathlessly. "You're keeping the skirt on."

"Ah, I suppose it is rather convenient for that. The downside is the draft I feel."

He looks down, and then flushes as he observes my legs.

"Whose boots?" he asks, licking his lips.

"Mine! I bought them for tonight!" Erika chirps. He turns to her.

"THANK you."

I sigh, letting him nuzzle his face into my neck. When he starts to leave a mark, I only let him. I want to be covered in his marks.

I want the whole fucking world to know I'm his.

"Hibi- I mean…_Ma'am_. It's almost time for your favor," Seiji says.

"Ah, right. Delic?"

"Mmmm?" he asks, his teeth sinking into my skin.

"Ahhhh…S-Stop that!" I hiss, trying to shove him away, but he only grips me tighter and digs his fingers into the skirt so it rides up a little.

"Hibi-chan has awesome legs!" Masaomi calls.

"Don't call me that!" I say.

"Masaomi! He _just _said that! Weren't you listening?" Mikado chastises.

"Nope~!"

"Anyway! Delic, do you think you feel well enough...to perform a song?" I ask. He jerks away from my neck and looks at me skeptically.

"A song? I don't have any of my stuff here…"

"Yes you do," Kadota says from the bar. "Seiji called us and told us to bring it. Apparently Hibiya wanted to put this together for you."

Delic stares at me.

"I want you to be happy, Delic. You're… You're my everything and… I know you're in love with music so… I just thought this could be good for you…"

He pulls me against him and squeezes me tightly.

"I love you…so much…" he says.

"I love you too. More than anything…"

He releases me and moves with Kadota and Saburo to the stage, occasionally staring back at me. I smile and wave, blowing him kisses as he moves. I settle at the bar with everyone else, trying to master the art of crossing my legs without flashing people.

"This is _hard!_" I whine. "Being a man is so much easier!"

"Well, maybe you'll put a little more appreciation into how mice we try to look! It takes hours for me to get ready!" Erika says.

Seiji is sitting on my other side, trying to pointedly keep his gaze away from me.

"Really? Is it that easy to forget I'm not really a woman?" I ask.

"I know you're not! It's just… You look like one. A really hot one. Just don't look at me!" he squeaks, turning red. I can't help but burst into laughter.

"Oh, this is _priceless_! If I had known you'd act like this, I would've done it in high school!"

"Don't say that! It would've been hell living in the same room with you!"

Suddenly, the crowd _roars_. I mean the screaming is so loud can't even hear myself think. Delic is onstage, staring at them all happily. They're pawing at his feet, screaming love confessions, begging him to sing.

He complies, and starts the song without any instrumentals. His voice flows over us all, a calming melody washing over the room. Soon, the instruments join in, Saburo keeping a steady beat while Kadota plugs his guitar into the amp, as well as Delic's bass.

Their song starts, and the place goes _insane_. I close my eyes and lose myself in the lyrics, letting them lift my concerns.

It's amazing…

Same as it's always been…

This time is different though. We all know it. Every one of us, aside from maybe the crowd. Maybe they can pick up on it too though, I don't know.

The song ends with Delic still singing quietly, and then reverting to humming. As soon as they stop entirely, the place booms to life again.

I watch as Delic's face lights up at the crowd, his eyes filling with moisture.

I had to sacrifice my dignity, put on a skirt, and deal with Seiji almost launching himself at me, but it was worth it to see Delic's face at that moment.

He's always wanted to be acknowledged for his music, and it seems he finally is. They're still begging him to play more, which he gives into easily enough. The band plays long into the night, each song ending with Delic's face looking like he's just been given the world.

And maybe he has.

I worship him, even now. Me with my crossed legs and long haired wig on.

Even now, I can't keep my eyes off of him.

The crowd loves him, and I worship him.

It's the last show they ever play.

Delic later said it was the perfect way to say goodbye.

_[There's only yes, only tonight. We must let go, to know what's right. No other course, no other way. No day but today. No day but today.]_

* * *

_ Sachi: I decided to spoil you all with a long update. I must say, I teared up by the end of this chapter… *was for Izaya's jacket making a guest appearance in this chapter! Did anyone else catch on to that~?_

_ Hibiya: My mascara ran…_

_ Delic: Mine didn't! :D_

_ Sachi: …Right, well… I'm sure I don't need to say this by now, but REVIEW FOR LOVE! _

_ Hibiya: And a quicker update of the next chapter!_


	45. Chapter 45

_I'm a little depressed right now, so I think it's the perfect time to work on this story. You know, put yourself in the place of the characters and etc. So, let's just get right into it, shall we? __KoolaidShipping__, thank you for saying you'd buy them! Yeah, I have like 5 comic book series I drew in high school. I'd have to redraw them and such, because they're just in spiraled notebooks. __AllTheLovelyBrains__, yes, we could hide in the closet together! I wouldn't call the cops on you! __Braverly-Homunculus__, yes, Izaya's jacket had a cameo! __BlueRoseDream__, I always wished for breaks in school… I think I slept through most of it. __Rai Rai Blue__, I love you too! Sadly, no skirt lemons. That part's over now… __erihan__, I'll try to stay alive! *takes balloon* __darkestlight96__, I was trying to make a semi happy chapter. __Ganne200__, I'm so glad you love it despite the sadness! __KarkadeVantas__, haha, yeah, I thought putting some happiness in there was good. __Quiet. Crash__, I can't just make it happy all of a sudden! But, yay, you're staying with me! __Logic Dive__, he was Kanra! It is almost over… __NighttimeFirefly__, I've been bothered for procrastination too! It's awful! __Rin-Sama__, awww, thanks for saying so! __TooLazyToLogin__, I DID read fanfictions during school time! Haha, I love my smart phone! __Winter In Japan__, maybe! We'll get to that towards the end! __LovelySpiral__, thank you so much! __Maru de Kusanagi__, sometimes bittersweet is the best way to say goodbye. I'm sorry if your virtual love seems a little lacking. I'm still depressed. If you want the full effect of this chapter, listen to the song the chapter is named after. Well, here we go… On with the story!_

* * *

_What Sarah Said_

_(Death Cab for Cutie)_

_[And it came to me then, that every plan is a tiny prayer to Father Time. As I stared at my shoes in the I.C.U. that reeked of piss, and 409. And I rationed my breaths, as I said to myself that I'd already taken too much today. As each descending peak on the L.C.D. too you a little farther away from me… Away from me…]_

Little Hibiya waited outside his mommy's room for her to call him in. He was ten years old, and was about to meet his newborn sister for the first time. He nervously tapped his feet as he waited.

He was so excited! It's not every day you get to meet a new member of your family!

"Hibiya! You can come in now!" his mommy's voice sounded through the vast double door. He stood and entered, making out the little bundle in his mommy's arms.

"This is your sister."

He edged toward the bed, observing the small person. He'd never seen a baby before, but he knew they weren't supposed to be so…red.

"Why's her skin like that?" he asked awkwardly.

"Mmmm? She's simply a newborn. She'll have a normal skin color soon enough," his mommy said quietly. She looked tired.

"Oh, okay…"

Hibiya leaned closer, trying to see his sister's face. She had her eyes closed and was placing her fingers in her mouth, making an odd smacking noise.

"Is she supposed to be so small…?"

"She's a baby, Hibiya," his mommy laughed.

He finally gathered enough courage to touch the bundle of covers she was wrapped in. Immediately, her garnet eyes opened to observe him.

Never before had he been so captivated by a single stare. She couldn't speak, yet seemed to say so _much_.

"I… I'm your big brother…" he said quietly. "Hibiya…"

She only cocked her head to the side, still making odd little noises. He poked his finger at her tiny hands, and marveled as her entire hand wrapped around only one of his fingers.

It was then that his daddy entered the room, and stood at the foot of the bed.

"When do you think you'll be able to walk around again?" he asked the mommy.

"I don't know. I just pushed an entire _person _out of me," she hissed in response. The two glared at each other, then the daddy settled his gaze on his son.

"How do you like your new sister?" he asked.

"I love her!" Hibiya said happily. "She's all mine, right? I get to keep her?"

"…She's your sister. She's going to stay here," his daddy laughed.

"Oh, good."

His mommy rolled over, shifting so her and the baby were facing Hibiya directly.

"What's her name?" he asked.

"I was thinking either Mairu or Kururi," his mommy said weakly. "Why don't you pick?"

"I really can?! I like Mairu!"

"Mairu it is then."

His daddy placed a hand on his back, then slowly started to walk out of the room. Hibiya watched him go, then turned back to Mairu.

"I promise… I'll always try to protect you…" he said.

Tiny fingers' squeezing his was his only response.

* * *

Teenage Hibiya sat at the edge of Mairu's bed, smoothing her covers. She looked up at him wearily, trying to smile at him as best as she could.

This time she had the mumps, and her poor face is so swollen it's almost unrecognizable. Mairu had always been rather sickly, so this wasn't exactly a new occurrence. Hibiya just couldn't stand to see someone in so much pain.

"Hibiya…" she whispered. Talking in a normal voice was too painful for her by this point. The teen leaned closer to hear what she had to say.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Thank you… For…staying in here with me…"

"Shhh. Don't talk right now. You know it's no problem."

She shook her head and grabbed his hand.

"It is… You…have better things to do…"

"I really don't. You know neither of us has a life," he laughed dryly.

"You're…sad…"

It wasn't a question.

"…Yeah…"

"I'm sorry… Is it because of me?"

"No! No, Mairu! It's nothing to do with you."

"How…can I …make you happy?"

He smiled at her warmly and kissed her sweaty forehead.

"Just keep holding my hand," he whispered.

And she did.

* * *

Hibiya sat in his dorm room, facing Seiji's bed. Said brunette seemed to have brought a cold back with him, and Hibiya was feeling awful. He was trying to decide whether or not to go to class.

"Ahhh, I feel so much better!" Seiji said, stretching happily as he sat up. He met Hibiya's gaze. "Dude! You look awful!"

"Feel…bad…"

"Aw, man. I'm sorry! I think you caught my cold…"

Hibiya nodded weakly and fell back into the sheets.

"I don't think I can go to class today…"

Seiji looked at him sadly, and then walked to his bed to sit on the edge.

"I think my doctor's excuse is good for one more day. Want me to stay here with you?"

"…That'd be nice… You'll be bored…"

"Nah. I can get some stuff done. You know I've been in bed for three days doing nothing! Maybe I'll invite Mika and she can make you some soup?"

Hibiya winced at _her _name, but nodded anyway. Soup sounded good.

And it was better than being alone.

Seiji made to stand up, but Hibiya grabbed his sleeve. The brunette looked down at him.

"You'll…come back, right?" the raven asked.

"Wha- Or course! I'm just getting my phone!"

Hibiya settled back into his pillow, watching Seiji grab his phone from the bedside table, and then return.

"Do you seriously want me to sit over here with you?" he asked.

A nod was his only response, followed by nimble fingers wrapping around his.

"H-Hibiya?"

"Mmm?"

"…You _must _be sick! I can't recall one time you've ever willingly touched me," Seiji laughed, but didn't pull his hand away. He simply used his free hand to text Mika.

After the message was apparently sent, he tried to stand again, but was yanked down.

"Dude! I need to get dressed! I can't just stay in pajamas while Mika's coming here!"

"Please…keep holding my hand…" Hibiya muttered, his eyes already glued shut.

Mika found the two of them this way when she arrived, and Seiji was forced to explain that he couldn't leave his roommates side when he was so sad.

* * *

Adult Hibiya walked off the bus, trying to memorize where he was. Of course, he probably could've studied the city _before _he decided to move there, but he never thought about it until it was too late.

He was actually happy he didn't have an umbrella with him, because he loved the rain. Wait…he did have an umbrella… Huh, he must've dropped it.

He wanted a new start. He _had _to find a new start.

Whatever the city would give him, he welcomed it, even his first encounter with a homeless man. He gave the poor man his umbrella, which he had in fact dropped.

"You lost?" a deep voice asked from behind him. Hibiya turned to find himself staring into gorgeous magenta eyes that seemed to have a mischievous glint to them. The blonde man who possessed them was holding an umbrella in his strong hands.

Hibiya marveled at the man, not remembering the last time he was so entranced by a gaze.

Those hands were the last thing he ever wanted to let go of.

* * *

The apartment was filthy, nobody bothering to clean it. The two tenants were simply in bed all the time anyway. There was no need to clean it.

They didn't have visitors anymore, because Delic didn't want any. He said he didn't want anyone to see him in the state he was in.

Indeed, the blonde was in poor shape. He didn't have long, and both he and his lover knew it.

Delic was mad when he found out Hibiya had brought the painkillers home from the hospital, but after a few days of excruciating pain, he practically begged for them. Hibiya never left his side, and the two seemed to be conjoined at the hip these days.

Delic was lying on his back, looking at the ceiling. His breathing was ragged, and his heartbeat was slow, yet steady. Hibiya was lying against his chest, simply basking in his company.

"I'm…sorry…" Delic said weakly. "You…you're stuck…here…"

"No. I'm not stuck. There's nowhere in the world I'd rather be…" Hibiya replied.

"You won't have to worry about money for a while…. Every gig I had, I made at least a grand. I've been saving it, so… my funeral costs wouldn't inconvenience you. You should be able… to keep the apartment too. I'd like it if you kept living here… There's too many memories to just leave it to someone else…" the blonde said.

So that was why he was always so adamant about saving money.

"I don't care about money, Delic. You should know that by now," Hibiya whimpered. He buried his face in the smooth chest and willed his tears to go away.

"Heh, I know… I just…wanted you to know… Never…planned on leaving you…hanging…"

Hibiya lost the battle, and his eyes overflowed. Delic must have felt the tears, because he wrapped his arms around the lithe raven's body.

"Shhhh, baby… I'm…here…"

"Delic, _Delic!_ I… I love you so much! I wish… I just wish we had…more time! It's not fair!" Hibiya sobbed, his body shaking.

"I don't look at it…that way, Chibiya…"

"What…?"

"I…never got to live…until I met you… So whatever I…have to lose, it's fine… It's fine because…I have you…"

"Delic…"

"Shhhhh… Just…hold my hand… We'll be…okay…Chibiya…"

Hibiya never let it go… Not ever.

* * *

I wake up covered in sweat. The room is pitch black, and it takes me a minute or two to figure out where I am.

I had the most _awful _dream. I can't remember what it was about, but I know it scared me.

"Delic," I say, "I had a nightmare…"

There's no response.

"Delic?"

I roll over to face the empty side of the bed next to me, and then I bite my lip as the tears return. The spaces between my fingers are empty.

I remember now. I remember everything.

Delic's not here anymore.

Because he died two weeks ago.

_['Cause there's no comfort in the waiting room. Just nervous pacers, bracing for bad news. And then the nurse comes round, and everyone will lift their heads… But I'm thinking of what Sarah said. That love is watching someone die…]_

_[So who's going to watch you die…?]_

* * *

_ Sachi: I'm truly sorry if you're crying. If it makes you feel any better, I almost cried too._

_ Hibiya: This story…truly makes me sad… _

_ Delic: Me too._

_ Hibiya: D-Delic?! You're dead!_

_ Delic: Aw, that's just in the story! Post scripts don't follow rules! Nothing matters here!_

_ Sachi: It's true… We're in another universe here._

_ Delic: Yeah! I just talked to Shizuo yesterday!_

_ Hibiya: He's not even in this story!_

_ Sachi: Right. So, review? They cheer me up, and I'm sure it'll cheer you up to let out your frustrations! I love you all!_


	46. Chapter 46

_We meet again my lovelies! Before we start, I have a few things to say about this story, and the reviews. Firstly, I know it's sad, alright? I know. But life is sad. If every story I wrote was happy, why would you read it? At chapter one you would've known, "Oh, since Sachi wrote it, it's going to end happy because all her stories do." Sorry, I don't think that makes a good story. I love storied with twists, drama, and angst. I know many of you do too, even though you're upset about Delic. Honestly, I was waiting for the hate messages to pour in, but surprisingly, I never got even one. Most of you were very nice in your reviews. I say most of you, because I was told by one reviewer that this story is too sad now, and they hate it and refuse to read it anymore. Really, all I can say is sorry you feel that way, and I hope you can grow to appreciate stories that are realistic, as opposed to only fairytales. NOW! I'm done bitching. Wait, was that bitching? Nah... More like ranting about things that are important to me, but probably not to anyone else. In other news, HOLY MOTHER OF HUFFIN' FRICK! Over thirty reviews?! I don't even know what to say! Wait, yes I do. __**THANK YOU SO MUCH! **__That's the most anything I've ever written has been reviewed at one time! I really do love all of you! And I'm sorry some of you are leaving me, even though most of you aren't. Well, only one person left. But still. Ow, my soul. Now to your virtual love! Since I got so much, this one will probably be long… __Sayroo01604__, I'm so glad you still love it! And all of them?! Gahhh! __Ganne200__, you liked how it was put together? Ah, surreal is what I was going for. __LoveyDovey__, yours was just…wow… You sit in your kitchen and burst into tears…? I LOVE YOU! Really and true! I love long reviews! Ah, Shizaya is my main fandom. I already have plenty of stories for them, so just go to my profile. __Logic Dive__, I thought him dying last chapter would be more unexpected, which is why I did it. I think it's best to surprise you! __incidentalmusic__, ah, I know it was sad if you thought so, my fellow sadist! Glad you liked it! __aurorage__, AHHHHH! I missed you! I thought you were one of the ones who gave it up! I missed you! I'm really glad you're back! __erihan__, I get tea AND tons of balloons?! Oh, joyous day! __LoveAllAnime__, ah, cloud of sadness…? Um, I can't end it… Would you like an umbrella? :D __Meep__, thank you! I did say it would be sad, so I thought most of you would see it coming! __The Local Mastermind__, as long as you don't cry IN school. __nazupii__, I think you're a good reviewer! The third fanfic you've cried for? Yay, I'm one of them! __Braverly-Homunculus__, don't cry! Here, take a handkerchief! __Quiet. Crash__, my postscript keeps Delic alive! Stop crying! D: __Guest 1__, Oh dear. I know it's serious because you put the word 'fucking' in it… __jusqualafin__, it did take guts to kill him! It didn't make me happy, you know! I may easily be persuaded to write another DelHibi! __KarakadeVantas__, ah, depression does suck. I'm sure our sadness is at different levels right now, but I truly hope you feel better, and I hope I do too. On another note, is your friend alright? __MitsukiMadara__? She told me the hurricane was coming, and then I haven't heard anything. Just making sure you're all safe! __LovelySpiral__, it's not the end yet. But yes, Delic is gone. __Rai Rai Blue__, haha, you and your skirt fetish! If it made you smile, it may be worth it! __EUEVSJOOWUTSBWJFS__, your name was hard to say. Crying in public isn't good at all! You may blame me, but also, you read it in public! So…can't we share the blame? __Winter In Japan__, it's not the end yet! But yes, it is sad __NighttimeFirefly__, at least someone can't wait to read the rest! __shizayalover1623__, ahh, you rubbed my back! Thank you for hoping I feel better! __Cheeze__, BECAUSE SOMETIMES IT HAS TO GO DOWN LIKE THAT! __BlueRoseDream__, um… I can't say. Still, would you really want me to tell you? __KoolaidShipping__, SEND THEM TO ME! I need to give my tree a personality in my yard! I think it'll make people appreciate my house more. __TooLazyToLogin__, I did that in college! They never care what you do. __galaxy12__, first time in two years?! Damn! I'm glad you love it! __The Dark CrimsonAngel__, thank you so much! Really! I love DelHibi, so I might write another one! __AllTheLovelyBrains__, your review made me cry. I mean, honeslly. Writing the chapter didn't make me cry, but your review did. I've been so upset recently, because I just feel like I haven't done anything with my life yet, and I'm not in school right now… You know how stuff seems to add up after a while? Anyway, I'm turning 20 this Sunday and I've just been upset because all my friends are out getting educations and all I ever do is work all the time. If you ever came to find me and propose to me, I'd say yes and we could go to Canada and live with Matthew from Hetalia and visit Alfred all the time because he's our home! I really love you! I can never thank you enough. __Guest 2__, you hate me? Ah, well. Lots of people hate me, haha. I love you anyway~! __DeliWillRapeHibiyaWithACrowb ar__, oh well. Your loss. __darkestlight96__, wait… Unmoved or moved? Ah, it doesn't matter! Thanks for saying I did a good job.__ tsukicchan__, don't read it in public! Crying in public leads to questions! __Bakaureshii__, that was the vibe I was going for! Ah, thanks! __Night Elric__, we're in the same boat in that way then. All I do is work. I didn't cry either, but I thought it was pretty sad too. __Muziq__, ah, don't feel guilty. I've never read a story that's made me cry since Harry Potter, but that was more of "OH MY GOD IT'S ENDING" more than sad. So, yeah. If you're Izaya then congrats! We're one in the same. :D __LimeCrayonify__, well, putting it in past tense was saddening, but I did say it was going to be a sad story. So…yeah. I hope you keep reading, because I have a plan for it. Anyway, I knew some people would give it up even after I started writing it. I honestly never expected it to get as popular as it has, so I prepared myself for losing tons of you. I'm not changing anything but… Since I've been asked so much… I will write a DelHibi one-shot after this one is over for just for you guys. Now, on with the story!_

* * *

_Loss_

You know what's funny?

Whenever someone close to you dies, your friends and family will always say the same thing. It's crazy, really. It's like everyone in the world got together and decided it was the best way to handle death.

"I'm sorry for your loss," they'll say.

When my aunt died, it was the same. Of course, we didn't go to her funeral, but if we happened to see a family member out on the street, they would always tell my mother that about her sister.

Like my mother cared.

I have no doubt that my family would say that to me now about my mother.

And Delic… Well, I haven't heard his name since the funeral.

It was for the best, really. And I know that. He was in pain, and for me to wish for more time with him was only selfish.

It didn't stop me for wishing for it. After all, I am selfish.

_"Chibiya," _Delic used to say, _"Stop saying you're selfish. You're perfect."_

Yeah, well. Look where that's gotten me.

Working is a pain, mainly because Deborah never seems to know what to say. The first time she told me she was sorry for my loss… I burst into hysterics. I fell on the floor and actually screamed like a little kid.

And why wouldn't I? I mean, really, why wouldn't I?

When they say, sorry for your loss… They're saying they're sorry I lost my reason to live.

My Delic…

My hero…

My _everything…_

As for now… Well, I'm in a sort of surreal mood. It's like it happened to someone else. If I sit here and try to think too much about it, it'll destroy me. I wake up, go to work, come home, then sleep.

That's it.

If I can manage to sleep through the entire night, it helps. Most of the time Delic haunts my dreams, my brain, my soul. I feel him sometimes.

Last night I woke up in the bed thinking he was wrapped around me, and I felt his breath against my neck for only a moment.

_"Chibiya,"_ he said. _"It's going to be okay. Stop crying."_

Oddly enough, it was only when realized he wasn't actually there that I started crying. I don't think I can ever truly stop.

So, it's easier for me to not feel anything at all. Seiji remarked last week that I'm the same as when we were in school, but that's fine. It's a defense mechanism.

If you stop trying to be happy, you never have to suffer when you realize you never will be again. You can never fail if you never try.

You can never be alone again if you were never with someone at all.

Sadly, it's hard for me to live alone. I can't imagine leaving this apartment, but staying here alone is just too much.

Over there, by the door is where he first led me into his apartment. Our first night together.

_"I'll call you Chibiya. Since you're like a kid."_

Our bedroom, where he reminded me often just how much he loved me.

Our shower, where he reminded me more when the bed got too cliché.

Okay, so the whole apartment was for that.

Our kitchen, where he first kissed me.

_"Christ… You… You taste so fucking good."_

The living room, where I told him I'm ruined. Granted, I was drunk, but I still told him.

His clothes are still with mine. I can't bear to part with them. I sleep in his shirts now. His scent is the only thing keeping me sane right now. I have a nightly ritual that I've done since he died.

"Hibi-chan, you've been staring into space for a while now. Are you okay?"

Ah, right. Erika is here.

"Sorry," I say, "What were you saying?"

"I think I have to move back in with my parents…"

"…Wait, what? Why?"

"Because! Walker isn't paying half my rent anymore! I can't afford to keep my apartment!" she wails.

I'm really an awful person. I forgot I wasn't the only one who lost someone.

I guess it's much worse to be abandoned by choice. Delic at least never wanted to leave me.

"Erika…" I say.

"I know, I know. It's my fault. And I know you have more to worry about than me… I just… You're my best friend…"

I sigh, thinking of ways I can help. The next thing I say is something the old me would've offered, so I figure it's safe to say.

"Do…you want to stay here with me?" I ask.

"Really?! Oh, but… There's not really enough room in here for two people… Do you want to try and find a bigger place…?"

"NO!"

She jumps back at my little outburst, and I have to grab her hand to keep her from falling off the couch.

"I… I'm sorry. I just can't… I can't move."

She looks at me sadly.

"I know that… I'm sorry. It was stupid to ask."

"No, it's fine. You can… You can sleep with me if you want. It'd be nice…having someone else in the room again… And since it's you… I know Delic wouldn't mind…"

It's the first time I've said his name in two weeks.

Erika's eyes fill with tears.

"Oh, Hibi-chan… You've been through so much… I'm sorry…"

"Don't… Don't talk about it. Just stay here tonight and we'll go get your stuff tomorrow…" I sigh. "I don't want to be alone anymore…"

When I'm alone, my mind wanders. It always has.

"Okay. Really, thank you. I don't know how I managed without a friend like you!" she grins, rising to go to the restroom.

I do. She had Walker, and I had Delic.

_Had _being the operative word.

I stand up too, stretching as my joints pop. I walk past the pink headphones on the coffee table I haven't touched since Delic last used them.

_"Change the song for me please… It hurts too much to sit up…"_

I change into the red hoodie Delic wore when we first went out to look at the city. I sit in the bed and cover up, waiting for Erika.

She returns to the room, dressed in one of my shirts and some boxer shorts. I lift a brow.

"I didn't have anything else!" she says, "Don't give me that look!" I only shake my head at her, sinking into my pillow.

Erika settles beside me, on the side I usually slept on. I've moved to Delic's side recently, finding it more comfortable. She wraps her arms around me, holding me like Delic used to.

"Maybe you'll get some sleep tonight," she whispers. "I haven't slept much either since…I've been alone…"

"I know…" I reply. "That's why you're here now. We can be alone together…"

She only laughs at me.

"Heh… Hibi-chan… If we're together, then we're not alone."

I reach for my phone to begin my nightly ritual. Erika frowns at me, before her eyes fill with tears when she realizes what I'm doing. I enter my passcode, and listen to my saved voicemail.

The only one I ever saved.

_"Hey, Chibiya, it's Delic. Sorry, Sal's being a bitch and making me stay late. You better not be awake when I get home or I'll punish you! On second thought, stay awake, haha. I love you, baby. See ya soon."_

Repeat.

_"Hey, Chibiya, it's Delic. Sorry, Sal's being a bitch and making me stay late. You better not be awake when I get home or I'll punish you! On second thought, stay awake, haha. I love you, baby. See ya soon."_

Repeat.

_"Hey, Chibiya, it's Delic. Sorry, Sal's being a bitch and making me stay late. You better not be awake when I get home or I'll punish you! On second thought, stay awake, haha. I love you, baby. See ya soon."_

Repeat…

* * *

_Sachi: Ahhh, we're nearing the end! Four chapters left! _

_ Hibiya: I have a bad feeling about this…_

_ Delic: Well, at least I know things can't get worse for me!_

_ Sachi: See? Delic sees the bright side of things!_

_ Hibiya: You're both idiots._

_ Delic: Awwww, Chibiya's mad because he's the only dark headed one in the postscript. Blondes have more fun, you know!_

_ Sachi: True! Now, review my lovelies! I know it's sad, but just think of the love you'll receive for making us all feel better! I LOVE YOU!_


	47. Chapter 47

_I'm updating on my birthday~! I'm officially twenty! Ahaha, we're not doing anything until Wednesday for it, so I figure I'll just add this chapter for all of you who are "dying inside". Honestly, the closer we get toward the end, the more I wish I was making it longer… I really love writing this story. I've been going back to the earlier chapters and wishing I had ended them on cliffhangers so I could make it to 100 chapters. Alas, that just wasn't meant to be. It's good to go back and read the old reviews and know you've all been with me the entire time. It's been almost five months! That's almost half a year with this story! I'm honored I have such great company for the roller coaster that is this story, even though you've threatened to beat, kill, marry, stab, and most recently rape me… But, I wouldn't have you any other way! Once again, I've been bombarded with feedback! We have to get started if I'm going to finish this chapter before midnight! __incidentalmusic__, agreed. Repeat. Repeat. __PaperHeadPhones__, ahahaha, you've reviewed before, ne? You probably forgot, but I never forget reviews! I always get upset when Angel dies too. The worst part for me was the funeral when they all sang for him. __LimeCrayonify__, I'm so thrilled you're staying with meeeee! I promise I have a plan! You just have to trust me! __KoolaidShipping__, I love your tears! Muahahaha! Four chapters are plenty of time to wrap this up! __Night Elric__, I went to my grandmother's funeral and didn't cry, so I feel you. I was actually the one to ask my dad what color a mood ring would turn if we put it on her finger… __MitsukiMadara__, my mom is that way! She cries at everything! Literally, an episode of Adventure Time made her tear up before… I don't judge you, my dear! __xxCarybearxx__, ah, it is rather sad. It'll work out though. __shizayalover1623__, I'd do the same thing in his shoes. __tsukicchan__, sad songs make the story more realistic! Atmosphere is everything! __TooLazyToLogin__, I love reading inappropriate stories in public too!__ Meep__, Erika is based off my sister, haha. __LoveAllAnime__, I'm so glad you can feel Hibi-chan's pain! That's why it's in his POV! __NighttimeFirefly__, ah, I think they're going to be sad until the very end. __Rai Rai Blue__, hey, most of them had happy endings! The only one that didn't was 'Confessions of a Former Bartender'! The rest of them just contained angst! :3 I wanna know what you wrote about! Gah, you need an account so I can PM you and stalk you and learn your life! __AllTheLovelyBrains__, no, no they were tears of joy! I was just happy to know someone would miss me if I was gone, that's all. CANADA! __Logic Dive__, sorry to hear about your grandma. Mine died two years ago, but we weren't close. I'm glad to hear you say that about my story! __BlueRoseDream__, you can never stay mad at me! I won't let yooou! __LOrihara Kun__, huh. That's one way to handle it. But since you kicked my face in, I can't bring him back now because I'm bleeding too profusely. __Ganne200__, I know, right?! Immature people! __Quiet. Crash__, I'm weirdly honored I made you cry! I'll give Delic more lines for you! __ReviewerAnon__, ahh, I'm so happy you've been here all along! I love you too! __LovelySpiral__, that means a lot for odd reasons! __The Local Mastermind__, weekends need drama sometimes! __Winter In Japan__, THANK YOU! Omigahhh, I knew people would be upset about Delic dying, but I'm glad people like you are sticking around! __Rin-Sama__, thank you for saying you love my work! __darkestlight96__, I'm one of your favorite people ever? AHHH THANK YOU! I've been re-reading it too, haha. I love you! __erihan__, ahaha, Erika DID ask for it though… __galaxy12__, that means so much to me! Thank you! __Muziq__, ahhh, now THOSE are some ideas. Erika on sugar? That'd be Armageddon. __Paranormal Alchemist__, don't cry! D: __Sora__, ah, three reviews?! I'm honored you've been reading so long! Also, you're cheating on me?! And then you RAPED me?! Ah, well. I suppose if you're set on it, I can't stop you. Just make it worth my while! Bravely-Homunculus, but everything ends, my dear! Now, let's get on with the story, shall we?! I think the next few chapters will skip around a little bit, so try not to get confused, okay? On with the story!_

* * *

_Memories_

The two lovers lounged together on the couch. Hibiya was in Delic's lap, his hands on the strings of the blonde's beloved bass guitar.

"Ah, this is difficult!" Hibiya wailed. "It hurts my fingers!"

In truth, Delic had been trying to teach him to play a song. The two men were enjoying Hibiya's day off, and neither had made any plans so they could just spend the day together.

"Ahaha! At least you have a teacher! I taught myself!" Delic laughed, kissing raven hair.

"Tch. You're just talented like that."

"I saw you play the violin a few weeks ago. You can learn this just as well."

"I'm only trying to play this song to make you happy! You just…seem so in love with this guitar…"

Delic simply removed his hands from the strings, uncovering the raven's nimble fingers.

"Eh? Why'd you stop?"

"Chibiya, I'm more in love with you than the bass."

"…Well I should hope so. You can't have sex with a guitar."

"Heh. You'd be surprised at what a nympho can do."

Hibiya placed his fingers back on the strings and shakily played the same tune Delic had just shown him. Magenta eyes lighting up were his response.

"That's really good! See? You're getting frustrated for nothing!"

The smaller man's face burned as he listened to the compliment, then he turned his head away from those praising eyes.

"'M not _frustrated_," he sighed.

"Oh? Then what are you~?"

"I'm in your lap with you _staring _at me. You tell me what I am."

Delic's features slowly transformed into a predatory gaze.

"Ahhh, I see," he purred as he placed the bass in the floor. His lean arms wrapped around the slender raven in his lap, and his lips went to work on the pale neck.

"_Ahhhh_, Delic…" Hibiya mewled, tilting his head to give the man better access. "Mark…mark me…"

"Heh. I'll mark you so much you'll look like a leopard," the blonde whispered, languidly moving his tongue over along the earlobe before he blew warm air into it. His hands moved downward, one to hike up the white shirt Hibiya was wearing, and the other to cup the growing bulge in dark jeans.

"Deli…_Del…mmmmm_..."

"Shhhh~. We're not even started yet, Chibiya… Tell me how you want it."

"On… On the couch…"

"Mmmm, that's naughty. Do you want it on the cushions, or do you want me to bend you over the side?"

"We… We've never…done that last one…before…"

"Good choice~."

Delic lifted him up, helping him move to the side of the couch they weren't occupying. He placed his hands on the front of Hibiya's jeans, steadily unbuttoning them before he yanked them down. His groin was pressed against the raven's backside, the bulge obvious as it pressed against the bare skin.

"Delic… Delic…"

"I know. I'll speed it up."

Delic unzipped his pants, freeing his painful arousal.

"Are you still prepared from earlier?" he asked huskily into the raven's ear as he bent him over the arm of the couch.

"Ahhh, I think so…" was the whispered reply. "If it hurts…I'll tell you…"

The blonde thrust forward to grind against him, rimming the entrance teasingly.

"You'd better."

"Please…Delic…"

Strong hands gripped pale globes of flesh, before they began to pry them apart.

"Ahhh! That's really…embarrassing!" Hibiya whimpered, shoving his face into his arms as his ass was displayed in the air.

"Nope~. It's sexy as fuck."

Both of them ceased their arguments as the blonde began to push inside.

"Ah…_aahhhhh…_"

"Mmmm, Chibiya… Fuck…"

As their bodies moved together, all thought was lost for the afternoon. Because with Delic, there was no such thing as one time.

* * *

The bass sat in the corner of the room. It hadn't been touched in over a week. The occupants of the apartment were in the bedroom, lying in the bed as they wrapped around each other like blankets.

"My…bass is staring at me…" the blonde whispered in his raspy voice. Hibiya lifted his head to look toward the guitar.

"Do you want me to get it for you?" he asked just as quietly.

"Yeah… Bring it over here…"

Hibiya swung his legs over the side of the bed, shuffling over to get the guitar. He picked it up gently and carried it to his lover. As he sat on the bed, he tried to hand it to Delic, who only shook his head.

"No…Chibiya… Play it…for me…"

"You know I can't. I never learned the whole song," the raven replied. "I won't hit the right notes."

"Ahaha… Just…play what you can…"

Hibiya looked at him doubtfully, but placed his hands on the strings the way the blonde taught him previously. He looked at Delic, who nodded in encouragement, before he started trying to play.

He hit the wrong note almost every time.

"Delic, I can't do it!"

"You're doing…fine… Straighten your fingers up…and apply more force…"

Hibiya did as he was told, and at least managed to carry a tune. His golden eyes filled with tears of frustration as he couldn't master the instrument as easily as he was accustomed.

"Chibiya… You're getting…upset… You don't have to play for me…if you don't want to…"

"I do want to! I want to do everything for you! But I can't! These stupid fucking fingers won't _let _me!" Hibiya hissed, placing the bass on the floor and crossing his arms in defiance. The tears streamed down his face, but he angrily wiped them away before they could reach the bottom.

Delic moved to sit up, making a groaning noise as he did so, and placed his chin on the raven's shoulder.

"Lie down. You'll feel bad if you push yourself," Hibiya said quietly.

"That's fine… Want…to make you feel…better…"

"Delic…"

"You never…have to try…to make me happy…Chibiya. You… You're my…entire world…"

"Don't say that! Don't _say _stuff like that! It hurts, Delic!"

Strong arms wrapped around the struggling male, weaker than normal, but still hard to pry away from.

"It's fine…if it hurts… As long…as you're mine…"

Hibiya's eyes filled with tears again as Delic quoted him from their first night so long ago.

_"It's fine… Sometimes, it's fine if it hurts… That's living… I don't care if it hurts…as long as I'm yours… Make me yours…"_

"Delic!" Hibiya wailed, thrusting himself into the blonde's arms and knocking them both back down into the sheets. "Delic, Delic, Delic…" he said every time their lips parted. "Delic, I love you… I love you…"

Delic simply kissed back every time their lips met, letting the raven fawn over him. His hands gripped the shirt Hibiya was wearing, holding tightly and not daring to let go.

_Beep._

_ Beep._

_ Beep._

"What's that noise…?" Hibiya asked as he kissed the blonde repeatedly.

"It's time to wake up now, Chibiya."

"Delic…?"

* * *

I wake up fast, sitting up so suddenly I forget where I am for a moment. It's that moment as soon as you wake up, and it's easy to forget everything about yourself. I love these moments.

But they never last.

_"It's going to be okay, Chibiya."_

"Delic…" I whimper, curling into myself. My head disappears into my arms as I still hear his smooth voice.

_"You're always mine."_

Even in my numb mode, he somehow manages to pry himself into my subconscious. Even in death, he's still my life.

"Hibi-chan?" a female voice asks from the corner of the room. I look up to see Erika standing near the bathroom, fully dressed and wiping her mouth with toilet paper.

"Ah… Good morning…" I say, rubbing my tears away hurriedly. But of course, she's seen them.

"Bad dream?" she asks.

"Hah… Wonderful dream…" I whimper, failing to cease the tear shed.

She moves toward me and wraps her arms around me, tugging me until my head is on her shoulder.

"One time, when I was new to the city," she begins shakily, "Delic took me out to a bar. It wasn't Sal's back then. It was owned by someone else, so we used to hang out there. He was already friends with Dota-chin and Saburo, and they… They treated me like family…"

I simply lean more into her, signaling I'm listening.

"I told Delic I wanted to leave the city, because I hadn't really made a new life, or friends for that matter… And…he said something I never forgot…"

"What?" I ask.

"He just looked at me and said, 'If you give up, you're proving to them that you can't make it. Stick around for a while, and I'll show you a side of the city you'll never forget'…"

I smile at this. That sounds like something he'd say.

"And I did just that. Delic was the reason I stayed here, and he was the reason I met Walker."

"He meant a lot to everyone…" I say.

She only looks at me.

"He was never my entire universe, Hibi-chan. I can't relate to what you're going through in that way, but… He was my first real friend… And I'll miss him for the rest of my life…"

I nod, wiping more tears away.

"When he first told me about you, I knew you were someone special," she laughs.

"What did he say?"

"It was the day before you guys showed up at Sal's. He called me and said he had a date in the city, because he had to show his new pet how to live."

He always did say I was like a cat.

"He said…he couldn't wait to see your eyes light up when you saw new things. He wanted to give you everything. I knew he loved you as soon as I saw him with you. He just…looked at you like you were this breakable thing he had to save…"

"Delic was always trying to save me from myself…" I agree.

"Delic did save you from yourself," she corrects. "Now you have to decide what to do with part two."

I think about this while she stands up.

If it's my decision…

All mine…

_"It's fine if it hurts… As long as you're mine…"_

I'll always choose Delic, even if it's not the best choice.

The next thing Erika says stops my morbid train of thought in its tracks.

"Besides… I think I'm pregnant…"

"Uh… What do we do…? Should I call Walker?"

She shrugs.

Well, that's encouraging.

* * *

_Sachi: Preggers!_

_ Hibiya: If Erika has a kid… That poor, poor child…_

_ Delic: Name it after something stupid! Like a car!_

_ Sachi: A car…?_

_ Delic: Yes. Erika has a baby named, "Ferrari." _

_ Hibiya: …You're truly a commoner._

_ Sachi: Leave a review for chapter 48! Damn, 48?! We're almost done! D: *Sobs*_

_ Delic: Well… I'd help you stop crying, but you killed me so…yeah._

_ Hibiya: Now I want a Snickers bar._


	48. Chapter 48

_I can't BELIEVE we're on chapter 48… Seriously? CHAPTER 48?! I'm at that point where I want to end it, but at the same time, I don't want to end it because I'm so in love with this story. I'm thinking of adding something to it… Ah, I'll get to that later! Time for my drabble! I got mostly junk food for my birthday, which I think is perfectly acceptable! A cute guy at work gave me two bags of Jolly Ranchers, because he remembered that I said I liked them once. He earned himself an epic hug! My manager offered to take me to a strip club, but I don't think I'll ever go anywhere with him since I'm 100% sure he's a creeper… (He's telling all my coworkers that he's going to marry me.) Like I said, it's all good as long as his grubby little hands stay to himself! Let's see…what else… Oh, Toki says hi! You know, that's what I think he's saying… Also, the reviewer that I said left this story because it's too sad is not only still reading and reviewing, but also sent me a fic request… I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME! Now, let's get on to your love because you always spoil me with reviews! __Paranormal Alchemist__, nah, no alternates. I was SO TEMPTED to make Izaya show up in the hospital scene, but I couldn't… It was hard! __Shan-Kun__, :D that's the reaction I was thinking. __Braverly-Homunculus__, it was a bittersweet chapter. __KarkadeVantas__, *eats cookies* THANK YOU! __jusqualafin__, ah, I forgot you were the first to tell me that! Yes, I'll give you well-deserved credit! You cried last chapter too? Oh dear… I do believe that's the happiest they're going to be… __The Local Mastermind__, BINGO! (was his name-o.) __LovelySpiral__, thank you, baby! __BlueRoseDream__, tell this car person to go die if they don't like you, because I love you! I'll start your story soon! I tried the guitar for a little while. I think I learned the intros to three songs, and then quit to become a master at videogames. I dressed as Ritsuka from Loveless once at school! I had the cat ears too! My friend was Soubi, and we would randomly run at each other from opposite ends of the hall while screaming our love. __TooLazyToLogin__, hmmm, good question. I don't WANT to, but all beginnings have an end, my love! __Rai Rai Blue__, have I ever told you I loved you? Because I do! When I turn 21, we shall party like it's 2013 because it will be! If you have Shizaya ideas and want help, get an account and I'll help you! I love you too! __LoveAllAnime__, drink Gatorade so you can cry, and keep reading! __Logic Dive__, I'm glad you love it! The memories are necessary! __NighttimeFirefly__, I know! Five months just gone in a flash. I realized something. This story lasted ALL SUMMER. It was my summer love! __KoolaidShipping__, I believe in spirits too! My friend's house is 100% haunted (I mean LEGIT haunted.) Once, we were awake at like 3am playing videogames, and her mom was crazy strict, so we were listening for her to come up the stairs and tell us to go to bed. We heard footsteps stomp up the stairs, and stand outside her bedroom door, before going back downstairs. This happened about three times before my friend finally opened the door when the footsteps stopped outside her door. And no one was there. Her mom was never even awake. My friend was like, "OMIGAHHH, WTF?!" My reaction? "GET A CAMERA AND LET'S RECORD THAT SHIT!" (she refused, and said I was insane.) __S. Oyabun__, I really think 20 is just the gap until 21. I'll try to enjoy my age though! __darkestlight96__, technically I didn't get Erika pregnant, because I lack those parts… Erika on sugar would be the end indeed! __erihan__, I'm the only one you always review for? I feel so loved! I'll take any balloon you'll give me, sweetness! __Quiet. Crash__, you're quite welcome! I would never kill a character off and get rid of them completely after I purposely made you all fall in love with him! (see? I did that on purpose. Blame my sadistic side…) __Muziq__, you teared up last time? I love getting reviews that explain reactions in depth! __Guest__, I'll miss it too! __tsukicchan__, I always read fics in public. Just today I was reading a smutty one at work. Hehehe. __aurorage__, I'm so glad you'll stick with me no matter what! I'm not really a morbid person, just a person with crazy ideas! I enjoy learning new sayings! We should chat on FB in French more often so I can use Google Translate again! __Night Elric__, thank you my dear! I cry for animal movies. __Marley & Me__ killed me. __LimeCrayonify__, thank yooooou! I love YOU! __Cael Luciano__, my Facebook friend! I've crashed to avoid animals before too… (I brake for snakes, even though I don't really care for them.) I'm sorry you cried! If people stare at you, give them something to stare at! __DelicWillRapeHibiyaWithACrow bar__, I don't understand you… I really don't. I'm a little intrigued. __DoubleEdgedSword99__, you stalk my stories? I enjoy a good stalker! I like my Hibi-chan too! I never saw why he ALWAYS had to be a pompous asshole. I never think anything is scary review wise! Lay it on me! __AllTheLovelyBrains__, I'm so honored! I always have computer problems too, and my sister takes it to me to fix. I actually took the laptop apart the other night, had trouble putting it back together, freaked out, then slapped the pieces until they fit… So…yeah. I fixed it! __KuroCharm__, you read it in three days? DEDICATION! I love 'Fix You' too. It was really fun to write! Thanks for reviewing! Now, enough of my rambles. On with the huffin' story! (also, we're skipping points in time again, and probably will keep doing so until the last chapter, so don't get lost, and hold onto me!)_

* * *

_Expecting_

"Chibiya, do you have to work tomorrow?"

The raven looked up at him from the book he was engrossed in.

"Of course not. Tomorrow is Sunday," he said simply. Delic was standing over him while he sat on the couch.

"Oh, right… Do you want to go out?"

"Like another date?" Hibiya purred.

Magenta eyes darkened.

"Hmmmmm~. I suppose you've been good enough for another one."

Delic had been worked every night for a solid week. If this continued, Hibiya was going to have a serious talk with the blonde's boss.

No one should keep him from Delic.

"Heh. Are you sure you'll even be off? This Sal fellow keeps you awfully busy."

"Ugh… I have to check the schedule… I should be off though."

Hibiya smiled up at him and patted the spot next to him, signaling for the blonde to sit beside him. Delic took the hint, and curled up next to him, laying his head in the raven's lap.

"Ahhhh, Chibiya. You're the only person I've ever had in my apartment for so long without fucking them."

"…I hope that's a compliment," the raven stated dully. He hated the fact that he couldn't provide Delic with sexual release. It was still too hard for him to go to the last step, but he was trying to move past his current block.

"Of course it's a good thing. It says a lot about you."

"…That I'm-"

"If you say 'ruined', I'll rip your book to shreds."

Hibiya shot him a glare, and then resumed reading. He felt the blonde's hands start to roam his thighs, growing dangerously close to his groin. Since the raven was wearing shorts, this wasn't exactly a good thing.

"Delic," he sighed. "Unless you actually want me to provide you with release, I suggest you don't tease me."

"I do want that. I want it really, _really _bad. But I told you we're waiting."

The raven continued reading as the hands started kneading his flesh. He looked incredulously at the imp from over his book. The blonde looked like Christmas had come early.

"Your skin is so…white… It's almost like a blank canvas…" he marveled.

"…Do you want to leave a mark?" Hibiya asked quietly.

Of course, they had been involved in sexual activity already, but nothing worth bragging about. Hibiya managed to give Delic a proper hand job, and the blonde had done the same for him _countless_ times.

Delic's eyes flickered to his, then back to the white skin of his thighs. He rolled the shorts up a little, revealing more skin, before he placed his mouth there and sucked gently.

"Delic…"

The blonde 'hmphed' a response, before he began to suck harder, most definitely leaving a mark. Hibiya placed his book on the couch cushions and leaned over the taller man, wrapping his arms around the imp's head.

"Do you want more marks?" Delic asked huskily after he wiped his mouth.

"Ahhh, yes…"

The blonde complied, and ran his mouth closer to Hibiya's now tented shorts. Their heated moment was interrupted when the smaller man released a whining noise.

One that wasn't at all associated with pleasure.

"Chibiya?" Delic asked, leaning up to observe his counterpart.

"Ah, s-sorry… I've never…had someone's mouth so close…to…_there_…"

Delic chuckled and moved closer to him again.

"That's fine, baby. I won't do anything you're uncomfortable with. We'll wait for the blow job."

"…B-But…"

"No," the blonde said firmly. "You're not ready for that yet. I'll do this for you instead."

A warm hand palmed the raven through his clothes, shooting pleasure up his spine and turning his body into mush.

"Ahhh…nnnnghhhh…" he whined, his head falling against Delic's shoulder as he lost himself in bliss.

"Louder, Chibiya…"

The hand only picked up pace, pressing more firmly against the smaller man's arousal. Hibiya's mouth was lax against Delic's neck now, blowing hot air as he panted harshly. His nimble fingers were gripping blonde locks, and he yanked them whenever he felt too good.

"Deli…Delic…_ahhhhhh… Aahhh…_"

"I know."

Hibiya convulsed, his eyes rolling into the back of his head as he wrapped his entire body around the blonde. His mouth opened wide, but only a small squeak came out. His orgasm hit him _hard_ this time.

So did the tears.

Delic sighed as he wiped them away from golden irises, and the two stared at each other for a moment.

"You're so beautiful…" the blonde said earnestly.

"…St-Stop it…" Hibiya hissed half-heartedly, leaning his forehead against the imp's. "Let…me do you now…" Nimble fingers reached for the jeans the taller man was sporting, but never made it to their destination.

"No, Chibiya. You've had enough tonight."

"…You're like a weird mother or something…"

"I try."

Delic reached over him to his headphones on the coffee table, and placed them on his head, before he settled back into Hibiya's lap.

"Wha- Hey! At least let me change shorts!" the raven protested.

"Nope. I'm already comfy."

"…"

Hibiya watched with great fascination as the man in his lap closed his eyes, his hands placed back on thighs but not moving this time. Delic seemed…content.

The smaller male picked his book up again, and tried to ignore the rapidly growing stiffness in his shorts. He looked down at the man in his lap again, and wondered if the blonde was asleep. He was certainly very still.

When Hibiya ran his hands through the yellow tresses and Delic didn't respond, he knew the man wasn't conscious.

"Ah, Delic… If you only knew…how much you mean to me…" he said quietly, assuming his counterpart wouldn't hear him due to the music in his headphones and lack of consciousness.

As he went back to his book, he missed the small smile that graced Delic's face.

The headphones were never even turned on.

* * *

I sit on the couch full of too many memories, wishing Delic was on my lap again. I can't look anywhere in this apartment without seeing him, feeling him, hearing him.

I glance over to the coffee table, where those headphones still sit. I never did know what he was listening to. Knowing Delic, it was probably something that meant a lot to him, but wouldn't mean much to anyone else.

He was just like that.

I hate referring to him in past tense, you know. I really do. What else can I do? I can't say he's here forever.

Because he's not. He's dead, and I can't deal with it.

That's just the way things are.

I hear the toilet flush, and I look up as Erika leaves the bathroom, holding the stick in her hand.

"Okay, we'll know in a few minutes," she says quietly.

"It's going to be alright, Erika," I say, because she needs someone to tell her that. She looks up at me.

"What am I going to do if it's positive?" she asks, joining me on the couch. "I can't be a mother, Hibi-chan, I just can't!"

"…I'm sure you'd be better than my mother."

I wrap my arm around her shoulder and pull her into me as we wait for the results of the pregnancy test. Erika's feet start tapping impatiently, so I start to hum a song for her.

The same song I hummed for Delic on this couch only a few weeks ago, before he got so bad he couldn't get out of bed.

* * *

"Chibiya…"

"Hmm?"

"I…want music…" Delic said quietly. Hibiya looked up at him from the television screen.

"Want me to get your headphones?" he asked.

"No… I want you to sing to me…"

Normally, Hibiya would be opposed to this, but the longing look in those magenta eyes made him reconsider. He leaned down to place his lips against the blonde's ear, and he shakily began to sing the same lullaby he used to sing to Mairu when she was a baby.

Delic's eyes slid closed, but he was very much conscious. A small smile graced his face, and he curled more into himself as the words flowed over him. Hibiya finished the song, gently massaging the blonde's scalp with his fingertips.

"Beautiful…Chibiya…"

"Mairu used to love it too," Hibiya said quietly. He pressed his lips against the other man's sweaty forehead, and covered him more with the blanket.

"I'm…so glad you stayed…"

"Delic…"

"I thought…you would leave when…you found out I was sick…"

"You should've known better than that. You know I'll always come back to you, Delic…"

"Heh…I know that now… You… You're here for me…and…it means…everything to me…"

"Shhhhh… Go to sleep now. I'll have dinner ready when you wake up. Shinra said you need to keep hydrated."

"I'll…make it up to you…somehow…" Delic said, barely conscious.

"I know you will, Delic-Bear. Now sleep for me, ne?"

And he did.

* * *

"Oh, SHIT!" a loud shriek breaks me from my reverie.

"What?"

"Two lines… _Two lines?!_ Get the box, get the box, what's that _mean_?!"

I do as I'm told and get the box from the bathroom. I look up at her after I read it.

"Um… I guess we need to call Walker…at some point… You know, no rush or anything…"

Her look of dread and horror is enough to convince me that this isn't going to be an easy task by any means.

* * *

_Sachi: Only two left… DEAR SWEET MOTHER OF GOD, I'M SO SAD!_

_ Hibiya: …_

_ Delic: Um… Didn't you have a question for them, Sachi?_

_ Sachi: Eh? Oh, yes! Many of you have asked me to do a chapter from Delic's POV and say what he was thinking, so I've decided to do it for you! Here's the catch! I'm not going to rewrite the entire story from his POV, because that's WAY too much work for me. Or I might… I don't know yet, to be honest. Anyway, I want a list of scenes you want to see from his POV, and I'm going to post them as separate chapters to another story. If you're confused, don't be. Just tell me what scenes you want to see, and I'll handle the rest based on how many votes for the same scene we get. For example: Sachi wants to write the scene where Hibi-chan sings with Seiji from Delic's POV._

_ Hibiya: You're just not going to let this story die, are you?_

_ Sachi: I have abandonment issues! D:_

_ Delic: Review for love, and to vote! We love you!_


	49. Chapter 49

_We meet again on this Saturday night! Ahaha, I'm off for two whole days! (party dance.) You know what that means! After this, I have to update my Hetalia fic, then my time travel one before a certain someone THREATENS me again. I guess I should rethink trying to have more than two stories at a time. I have an announcement! But it'll wait until after the chapter is over so you can all remember it! Now, for your love! __Logic Dive__, glad you liked it! Stay tuned for your answers! __KarkadeVantas__, ahhh, I actually can't do that… You'll see why. __erihan__, someone really did that? I like to switch the POV, but not that many times! __AllTheLovelyBrains__, amazing you say? Hmmm. Oh, by the way. I love you, my awesome lovely! __BlueRoseDream__, we should play video games together one day! __Quiet. Crash__, um… I don't want that, but I can't change my ending! *convulses* Maybe you'll like what I have planned? __Orajima__, oh my! Ah, well… I never really said I'm an angel… Serial killer? KILL ME?! Your view was very odd at the end there… I liked it! I LOVE YOU TOO! __Braverly-Homunculus__, of course he can't handle it! Ahh, glad you liked it! __Muziq__, that would be a very fluffy ending! I liked it! __NighttimeFirefly__, most people said that one! Hope you fixed your call situation! __Shan-Kun__, thank you! I'm keeping an eye out for your story! __LimeCrayonify__, I LOVE YOU MORE! It's not too complicated! I'm going to MAKE it complicated! __Rai Rai Blue__, I await the day you kidnap me! We'll have such fun! And if that sounds inappropriate, that's because it IS! Battle royale? Hmm, I'm not sure who all would show up! I'm hard to deal with, so I'd be the worst hostage ever! One more thing, my dear. I want you to get an account! You don't have to use it much… Just enough to PM me and get my Facebook info! __LoveAllAnime__, evil is sort of the vibe I aim for… Sadist, remember? Good ideas, my dear! __KoolaidShipping__, haha, you've been waiting for his POV? Writing in his POV will be an adventure! __littlemoon60__, that means a lot! Thank you so much! Now, let's get on with the story, and stay tuned for my announcement! I just had a Snicker's bar, so let's do this! Told you they help me write!_

* * *

_News_

Erika is on the couch, still silently having a meltdown. I'm in the kitchen cooking what little food I have here.

I haven't really eaten much since… Yeah.

"I'm making you some pancakes," I say, not sure whether or not she actually hears me. "It's all I have, and I want you to eat all of it."

"…You're not going to eat?" she asks quietly, lifting her face from her hands.

"Not hungry," I say, "Besides, we don't have enough for both of us, and I hate pancakes."

She stands from the couch to come watch me cook.

"You've lost a lot of weight," she says.

"Yeah, well."

"Hibi-chan…"

"Don't start with me, alright? I already have to hear it from Seiji all the time."

She lifts a brow.

"Seiji's been here?"

"Yeah, he comes over every now and then. He'd probably try to move in if not for Mika."

"…Are you _sure _he's not after you in a sexual way?" she asks.

"Ugh, I'm sure." I shut off the burner and place the cakes on a plate for her. "Here, eat this."

She kisses me on the cheek and sits at the table.

"I really think you should eat too. Delic wouldn't want you to starve."

I cringe at his name, and sit opposite her.

"Maybe."

"Hibi-chan…"

"Should I call Walker now?" I ask to change the subject.

"N-No! Not yet… I mean… We don't really even know for sure…"

I stare at her until she places her head in her arms and groans.

"I don't want to talk to him…"

"…He's the father of your child."

"Unborn child! Technically it's all mine until I have it!"

"Erika, either you call him or I will."

She lifts her head to glare at me.

"Don't you dare! That's not fair at all! This is my business, not yours!"

"No, it's yours and Walker's business. He deserves to know."

"STAY OUT OF IT!" she yells, throwing the plate against the wall so it shatters. I look at her in alarm and reach down to pick up the pieces.

"Hibi-chan…"

I toss the pieces in the garbage can before I look up at her.

"Why…are you crying…?" she asks. I hurriedly wipe under my eyes, surprised at the moisture.

"That was Delic's plate…" I say quietly. "We're in Delic's place, and that's Delic's chair you're sitting in, and it's his floor you just defiled."

"Hibi-"

"And his pancakes you just wasted… This… This is all I have left…" I motion around. "I can't leave this place, or else I'll leave him here. This is my world now…"

"I don't…understand…"

"You don't _understand?!_" I feel the ripples of anger for the first time in a long while. "The person you love is still alive and well, and the only reason you're not with him is because you're a drug addict who doesn't want to better herself, and you don't _understand?!"_

She gives me a look of horror.

"So, fine, you do what you want. It won't be any different from any other day. And I'll just leave you here with _my _memories, since you need more drama so bad. Hey, while you're at it, why don't you just tear up everything I have and make it about you instead?!"

An odd ripping noise comes from her mouth, and she starts to sob uncontrollably. I mean, literally sob. She falls to the floor and curls around herself like a wounded animal while I breathe harshly and come down from my anger.

I always manage to hurt people with the truth. It's because I'm so honest with myself, and sometimes I forget that not everyone likes to hear the truth.

* * *

"Chibiya… You kill me sometimes…"

"What?"

Delic laughed and wrapped his arm around his lover.

"You're just so vicious! Like a territorial cat!"

Hibiya glared at him and punched his arm, doing little to hurt him.

"I'm not a cat!"

Delic made a hissing noise and rubbed his hair, ruffling it while he laughed at the disgruntled face the raven made.

"It's not a bad thing, Chibiya! I like how honest you are! You're just…mean sometimes. It's kinda funny."

"It's not funny to be mean," Hibiya huffed, placing his feet on Delic's lap as he fell backwards in the sheets.

"You said yesterday that an overweight woman looked like an Orca."

"She did!"

"Then you said people who can't drive deserve to be shot pointblank with a rifle."

"They do!"

Delic laughed loudly, throwing his head back as he joined the raven in the sheets.

"It's just so funny! You're so adorable; you just wouldn't ever think you could be so vicious."

Hibiya rolled over to place his head against Delic's heart, closing his eyes at the steady _'thump thump'_ he heard.

"I guess I've just heard it so long, I'm used to it," he said as the blonde's hands started to rub his arms.

"Heard what?"

"My father used to always tell my mother how fat she was getting. I was always told how stupid I was… Mairu was always told she was too immature… After a while, he didn't even have to say anything anymore, because we all told ourselves that."

"Chibiya…"

"If you're told every day that you're an idiot, it becomes true."

Delic pulled him closer until he was directly on top of the taller man. He forced their gazes to meet.

"If I tell you every day that you're perfect, will you believe it?"

"Ahaha! It depends on how you tell me~."

"Mmm, I can think of a few ways to start…" Delic said, licking his lips until they granted him entrance.

* * *

I left Erika alone to decide things for herself. She's right, it's none of my business.

Seiji called me to ask if I wanted lunch, so I decided to just join him. It'll probably be good for me to get out of that apartment anyway.

"Hey, Hibiya!" he greets, pulling me into a hug. I hug him back, enjoying the feeling of the warmth.

"Hey," I say. I wince at my voice.

He doesn't comment on it, and we enter the restaurant together. As we sit down, he looks at me in concern.

"Hibiya, man, you know I love you," he starts.

"But?" I say, knowing what's coming.

"…You look awful. I know I would too but… Have you even eaten anything since…?" he never finishes the question.

He doesn't need to.

"Not much. I'm not hungry."

He sighs, and looks over the menu as the waitress comes to give us our drinks. He smiles at her and orders the hot wings again, which makes me smile in reminisce.

After she leaves, he meets my gaze again.

"I knew this would happen… You've given up again," he says.

"…Yeah…"

There's no point in arguing. I have given up.

He grabs my hand over the table, and I look down at it as his grip tightens.

"I'm sorry… I can't… I can't help you this time… Just like I couldn't last time."

"I don't need you to help me, Seiji."

"Yes, you do! Hibiya…"

His grip tightens again.

He lets go of me when the food arrives, and he starts downing the hot wings while he looks at me.

"Eat one," he says. It's not really a request, because it's more of a command.

"Nah," I say. "I don't like them anymore."

"…They were _his _favorite…" he remembers.

"Right."

He takes a long gulp of his soda, and clears his throat.

"I think you should move in with me," he says quickly. I only stare at him.

"What was that?"

"Y-You heard me… Hibiya, I don't want you living alone anymore! You're not doing well and… I need to be there for you!"

"Yeah, I'm sure Mika would _love_ that," I say sarcastically.

"She'll get over it! Dude, you're my pet! What kind of owner isn't there for their pet?"

"…The kind that doesn't want to see their pet go crazy," I remark. He looks wounded.

"Hibiya, please…"

A thought comes back to me from long ago.

"Seiji… You want to be my hero, don't you?" I ask quietly. His eyebrows raise.

"Huh?"

"You…want to save me… You always have…"

"…Of course I want that. Why wouldn't I?"

I take a sip of tea, and then touch his hand again.

"Seiji, you need to stop worrying about me so much, and start worrying about Mika more."

He looks at our hands, and then back up at me.

We both know I'm not talking about this in just a friendly way.

We've both known that for a long time.

"I… I know… It's just hard…" he says quietly. "I… I love you…"

I sigh, and squeeze his fingers.

"And I love you. As a friend, Seiji. I know you don't think this right now, but Mika really is the one for you. Don't waste effort on someone who's ruined."

"Ruined?"

"Can you do that for me? Forget me?"

"It… It's too hard…"

I rise from the table and lean over his seat, and hug him tightly when his arms open for me. His breath is shuddery, and he's shaking a little.

"Hibiya… _Hibiya_…" he says, burying his face in my neck.

"It's alright, Seiji. Everything's fine…" I lie. With my free hand, I pull some money out of my wallet and place my half of the bill on the table, even though I didn't eat anything. His hands grip my shirt, and he tries to regulate his breathing.

"Thank you…for never giving up on me…" I whisper. He utters a broken sob, and hugs me tighter, nodding his head.

I rise from the booth, him waving to me the same way he did all those years ago. It's our goodbye that's better for both of us. He wants more than I can give him, and I don't want my problems to hinder him anymore.

We never see each other again, but that's fine. It's better that way.

I promise.

* * *

"I don't like how Seiji looks at you…" Delic said viciously from the bed.

"…Delic, we're just friends," Hibiya sighed, feeling like he's said this a hundred times.

"I know that! But…I don't know if _he _does!"

The raven flopped beside him and pet his hair lovingly.

"He knows that, Delic. I'm in love with you, and you only."

"…There's still something else…"

Hibiya looked at him thoughtfully, and then kissed his forehead.

"Sometimes, when you take care of someone so long, they become your world," he explained. "Mairu was mine for so long, that when I was sent away, I forgot how to live again."

Delic only looked at him, signaling to keep going.

"Seiji has the same problem. He took care of me for three years, Delic. He's never going to be able to let it go, just like I can't let go of Mairu."

"And you're okay with that? He's…in love with you, right?"

"Probably. But not in the way you're thinking. Seiji…loves me in the way that he doesn't know what he'd do if I had my life together. He always wants me to come to him with my problems, like I did back then, and I can't do that, because I have you."

"…So if not for me, you'd be with him?"

"No. I told you, it's not like that. He just wants me around all the time, and he's most likely confused it with love."

"…Aren't you afraid you might be leading him on?" Delic asked.

"No. He knows there's no way, and he wants to take care of me anyway."

"So how do you fix such a situation?" the blonde laughed, pulling his lover in his lap.

"You don't. You cut off ties and hope for the best," Hibiya responded wistfully. "That's the only cure. To rid yourself of an infection, you cut out the infected part."

Delic inhaled sharply and looked at him questioningly.

"You're going to just cut off all ties with him?"

"When the time comes. It'll be better for all. As long as I'm in the picture, he won't settle with Mika. I'm not going to have that on my shoulders all my life."

"Chibiya… You're truly the smartest and most selfless person I've ever met… Won't it hurt you too? I mean…he's your friend."

Hibiya smiled at him and kissed him chastely before he responded.

"When the time comes… It won't hurt for long…"

* * *

I walk inside the apartment to raised voices. Erika is on the couch with Walker standing over her. She's crying.

"Is everything okay?" I ask. I know I made her cry earlier, but Walker isn't going to yell at her while I'm here.

"H-Hibi-chan…you came back…" she says as she runs to me. I hug her tightly and look at Walker, who looks like he's falling apart.

"I'm sorry," she whispers to me. "I haven't shot up in a few days, and I was having a withdrawal. I never should've broken Delic's plate…"

I chuckle and whisper back.

"It's fine. I was having a Delic withdrawal, so we'll both blame it on forces beyond our control."

Walker smiles sadly at me, and goes to walk around me.

"You guys seem to have this under control…" he says quietly. I'll let myself out."

I decide to do something I never wanted to do. I'm going to get involved in someone else's problem.

"No. Walker, sit down. Erika, sit beside him. We need to have a little chat."

They look at me skeptically.

"Do. It."

Walker flops down first, followed by Erika. They're sitting far from each other at opposite ends of the couch.

"Alright, let me start by saying that I hate this. Really, I hate this. But you two are taking too long to fix this," I sigh. "So it's time for me to offer some real life bullshit."

"Hibiya, there's nothing left to say…" Walker informs me.

"Yes there is. You two are made for each other. Honestly, your obsession with everything manga related freaks me out a little, and every time you talked about a threesome with me, I was scared stiff you meant it, but now I know for a fact you did."

Erika laughs a little.

"Your only problem is Erika's drug dependency."

Walker nods his head, looking accusingly at her.

"With that said, there's always help for it. You two need to decide if you want to fix things and keep this baby. If you're not going to fix it, Erika needs to either get an abortion or consider adoption."

Their eyes widen.

"No child deserves to be born to a drug addict. Besides, if you continue this, you'll have a miscarriage anyway, and probably be dead in a few months," I tell her.

"Hibi-chan…stop…"

"No. You need to hear this. There are plenty of places you can go to that will help you go through detox gradually enough to not hurt the baby. All you have to do is be willing to try. It stopped being about you the moment that test turned out positive."

Walker looks at her, and their gazes meet.

"What…if it's too hard…?" she asks quietly.

"You work through it. You're strong, Erika. You'll be a great mother and a wonderful beautician one day. All you have to do is take the step forward, and stop taking steps back."

Her eyes fill with tears, and Walker's hand wraps in hers.

"Take it from me. Fix things now, before it's too late. The only…only solace I have…is that Delic never went one day without hearing how much I love him. Never."

They both look at each other, their eyes threatening to overflow.

"For whatever it's worth, I think you can do it," I say.

"Do you…want to look up some places…that can help you…?" Walker asks.

She looks up at me, before she nods, throwing herself in his arms.

"I don't want…our child to have the life we had!" she wails. He grins and holds her tightly.

I smile at them, and help her gather what little she brought with her so they can leave together.

Leave to try again.

Walker shakes my hand, and pulls me against him.

"I can never…thank you enough…"

"Then don't thank me," I laugh. "Take care of her…for me…ne?"

His grip tightens, and his breath hitches. Instead of a response, he nods.

Erika is much different in her goodbye. She latches to me and cries like a three year old.

"I love you, Hibi-chaaaaaaan! You're my bestest friend, and we're going to go shopping soon!" she wails. "Please…take care of yourself…"

I hold her to me and kiss her forehead.

"I want you to do the same… No matter what happens, I want you to get better, alright? You'll do that for me?"

She nods against my neck.

"I love you. I love you both…"

They leave hand in hand, and I smile as I watch them go start their lives together. It makes me happy I could help. I just want everyone to be alright. They _have_ to be alright.

It's the best way…to say goodbye.

* * *

_Sachi: Ahhhh… One chapter left. ONE CHAPTER LEFT?! *flails* NOOOOO!_

_ Hibiya: …Um…there there?_

_Delic: You still have your announcement, Sachi._

_ Sachi: Ah, right! Most of you voted for the same scenes to be in Delic's POV, which was most of them. I got to thinking about it… And I'm going to rewrite the ENTIRE thing from his POV! :D_

_ Hibiya: …Oh dear God…_

_ Delic: Fuck yeah!_

_ Hibiya: You do realize that's going to take months? You took a very simple assignment and made it horribly complex._

_ Sachi: That's what I do~! I like making things hard! (muahaha.) I'll start it after I finish this fic, so keep an eye out for me, ne? We'll continue to be together! Let's meet again next time, for the final chapter of When the Crown Falls. I love you all! Review for my love! _


	50. Chapter 50

_Ah. Well, it's time. We all knew it had to come eventually. I'm getting to the love a little early this time, so here we go! __AllTheLovelyBrains__, oh, God. I'm God? You. Are. So. Screwed! I love you! __The Local Mastermind__, ah, I'm excited for Delic's POV too. __KoolaidShipping__, you lock yourself up to read? THAT IS SO MUCH DEDICATION! I'm glad I have such great company! __erihan__, it won't be too hard, my dear! I've GOT this! __BlueRoseDream__, I remember it for real like it was yesterday. Time flies. __tsukicchan__, make you cry? Alright, well you asked. I'll do it for you! __Logic Dive__, you and I share the same points of view then! __Rai Rai Blue__, ahh, I am a tease! My boyfriends? AHAHAHA! I did get in trouble for being a tease. I normally mess with people in public, so they can't do anything about it. I'm so glad we're Facebook friends now! I love you too! __nazupii__, I really can't answer that, my dear. Just read on! __Muziq__, I made you cry? YES! Mission accomplished! __Shan-Kun__, I'm glad you're happy! __Kira-Heiwajima__, close! I'm tweaking that name a little, but really close! __incidentalmusic__, you don't even know! I'm really glad you liked it! REALLY GLAD! __Quiet. Crash__, ahhh, I enjoy creepy. Good guess! __Orajima__, I love your insane reviews! I'll make it more epic and say, I LOVE YOOOOU! In all caps. __LoveAllAnime__, it'll all be okay, my love! Crying is part of it! __LovelySpiral__, I try! __darkestlight96__, your favorite? Ah, it was up there with mine too. __Cael Luciano__, HERE'S YOUR UPDATE, YOU HATER! Meh! __Maru de Kusanagi__, beeeeecauseeeeee~. __NighttimeFirefly__, I can't wait to write it! __Guest__, oh, I'm so glad you liked it! I hope you enjoy this one too! Now, I'm really happy you guys stayed with me. We've all been together for almost half a year, can you believe it? This is my most reviewed story ever, and I'm in love with it, as well as all of you. Thank you, truly, for being with me. Now, let's get started with the final chapter of 'When the Crown Falls'. On with the end!_

* * *

_I Will Follow You Into the Dark_

_(Death Cab for Cutie)_

_[Love of mine, someday you will die, but I'll be close behind, and I'll follow you into the dark. No blinding light, or tunnels to gates of white, just our hands clasped so tight…waiting for the hint of a spark.]_

As soon as I'm alone, it starts.

My deterioration.

My utter despair.

My loss of Delic.

My Delic.

My hero.

My _everything._

I stand beside the couch, not sure what I'm supposed to do with myself. Maybe this is a moment of weakness. Maybe it'll pass. Maybe…all I need is more time.

Maybe I can start again.

Maybe give Seiji a chance.

Maybe I'll get Mairu out someday, and she can live with me.

Maybe we'll both miraculously get better, and everything will be okay.

Maybe… Maybe I can learn to be happy again.

Yeah.

And maybe my fingers will randomly fall off my hands.

Sighing, I decide to go check the mail, not sure what else to do with myself. I can't stay in here alone. I can't. I'll do something stupid. I know it.

I'm not sure what I expect. All ever get these days are bills. As bad as it sounds, I haven't really even written Mairu in the state I've been in. Today…

Today is the first time I've allowed myself to feel anything, starting with the anger I felt at Erika earlier. But really, that was only jealousy. Jealousy that Walker is alive, and Delic isn't.

I'm sorry, Erika. I really am.

I open the tiny box with my key, and sort through the mail.

Bills, bills, bills… Mairu.

She sent me a letter. What's it going to say? I can only imagine how upset she must be with me for not writing. The last thing I said to her was that I'd keep in touch, which was when I dropped her off at the hospital.

And then…I went back to Delic…

Shaking my head, I begin my ascent upstairs, eyeing the envelope like I think it'll catch on fire. I mean, really. I wouldn't be surprised if it did.

I deserve it.

As I open the apartment door, I swear, I _swear_ I hear his voice.

_"You're late, Chibiya!"_

"I'm not late… You're gone…"

_"Don't make me worry. Call if you're going to be late."_

"Your voice hurts… It hurts…"

_"Is everything okay? Did something happen? C'mon, Chibiya, tell me or I won't know!"_

"How can you not know…? Delic… _Delic…_"

There's no response this time, because there never really was. I know that.

But it hurts.

God, it hurts.

I open the envelope as I sit on the couch full of memories.

_"Don't sit so far away! Ahaha, I don't bite!"_

_ "Chibiya…"_

_ "I love you…"_

Stop it, stop it, stop it…

_"Look at me…"_

_ "Stop avoiding the subject!"_

_ "You're such a cover hog! Damn, share with me, it's COLD!"_

STOP IT!

Silence. Blessed silence. I look down at the beautiful calligraphy of Mairu, my only true family.

_Dear Hibiya,_

_I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry. I know about Delic and…I can only imagine what you're going through. We both lost everything before, but I know it must be harder to gain it back, then have it ripped from you again. I'm not mad at you for not writing. I know why you haven't… I know you, brother. I know what you want to do. I'm so sorry… So sorry. I realize now that you were always the one hurting. You were always the one trying so hard not to break. And I could've been there for you more. Maybe I never should've looked at it as you playing hero. Maybe I should've tried to be your hero. Brother…what else is there to say? We both made mistakes, and we both ended up where we're at. I know you're scared. Kururi says it's okay. You should listen to her. She knows. I'm not mad for what you want. I just want you to be happy. I don't need you to my hero. Don't worry about me. I like it here, I promise. I'm safe from the world, and it's safe from me. Please…be happy. Please? Just once, I'd like that for you. I love you, Hibiya. I'm sure you know that, but if you didn't, I couldn't live with myself if you didn't. I suppose…this is goodbye. May we meet again. I'll have so much to tell you when we do._

_Love always, forever, and ever,_

_Mairu._

I read the letter many times, just to make sure I read it right. Mairu just…

She knows.

I'm more than positive Walker knew.

Seiji knew.

Who else knows?

Kadota and Saburo are too involved in their own love filled world, so I haven't spoken to them. It hurts too much.

Same for Mikado and Masaomi.

I look over to the end of the couch, where Delic is sitting, looking at me.

_"Chibiya…"_

"Stop it."

_"Why are you mad?"_

"You left me. I'm allowed."

_"I never left."_

"Delic…"

He's gone again, as soon as he came. I'm going insane, on top of everything else. Great.

I have too much to do before I can do what I want.

Standing from the couch, I make my way to the bedroom, where my suitcase is. I put everything important in there, because I think…

I've always known it would come to this.

The rights to Delic's lyrics are in here. Writing the songs was a group effort, but the lyrics were Delic's, and his alone. He left them to me, to protect them.

All the money I have left is in a bank account, and the routing number is in here.

Every stupid note he ever wrote me is in here.

_Chibiya,_

_ Went to get more food. How do you not ever want to eat?! Man, you're not human. Love you!_

Just little things I couldn't bear to throw away, but now they mean the world to me.

I'm going to do what's right. I'm not going to be so selfish anymore. If I'm going to do this, I'm going to make sure…everything is okay first.

I leave a long note, directing Kadota and Saburo to talk to the lawyer Delic had when he made his will, instructing them to give him this note. It says the lyrics are now theirs.

I know they've been wanting them, and I know they'll honor them, and help carry on his memory.

The money, I split.

Half goes to Mairu, in case she ever wants to give life a try.

Half goes to Erika and Walker, because they're going to need it.

To Mikado and Masaomi, I leave them Delic's guitar picks. They were always asking for them, because they were such huge fans, and most likely wanted to sell them or something.

Really, they're almost as weird as Erika. Yes, Mikado too.

To all of them I say I'm sorry. I say thank you. I say it's not your fault. To Seiji I say I never meant to cause problems.

To Mairu I say forgive me. I say I couldn't do it. I say you were right.

But we all knew that.

There's a paper trail around me when I'm done, and I'm in the middle of it. I have to maneuver carefully to avoid stepping on them.

They're my last message, after all.

The bathroom is my destination, because it's where the medicine cabinet is. Even if I'm scared, it's time.

I can't take one more day of pretending. I can't fake smile. I can't say I'm happy.

I can't… I can't live without Delic.

I take out the bottle of sleeping pills. The only prescription Delic ever took willingly. There's about fifteen left.

More than enough.

I look at my reflection before I exit the bathroom, and all I see is the person I used to be.

Someone downtrodden, weak, useless… Someone who wants to die.

And this time, I'm not waiting for Death to find me. I'm meeting him halfway.

Delic's voice floats around me loosely, barely saying actual words.

I hear my name a few times.

I fall back on the bed, which is also full of memories... Including my darkest one.

* * *

Delic heaved through his mouth, his breath loud as he struggled for air. Hibiya was lying loyally against him, fighting back tears at his lover's pain.

"Ah...s-sorry...I know...you're trying...to sleep..." Delic said quietly. Hibiya shook his head.

"N-No. It's fine. I'm awake anyway."

"You've...been up for days...watching me... You're tired..."

"I told you, it's fine."

The blonde sighed, weakly pulling the raven more against him in the blackness of their room.

"Heh... I never thought...I'd have someone beside me...toward the end..."

"Don't you dare talk like that. We have plenty more time together."

Delic smiled, closing his eyes as he nuzzled into the smaller man.

"Ah... You're right..."

It was silent then as the two drifted off, wrapped together under the sheets.

Delic never opened his eyes again.

* * *

I pop the cap off the bottle and swallow a few pills as I stare at the ceiling, hoping this works. Praying to whatever God there is.

Because we only pray when we want something.

_Please, please, please._

The voice gets louder.

_"Chibiya! You have to hear this new song I'm writing! I need my biggest fan's input!"_

I smile, taking a few more.

_"I'll call you Chibiya."_

_ "You're like a cat."_

_ "A pampered ass cat."_

_ "You're so cute!"_

_ "Please don't tell me you've never had coffee."_

Smiling dazedly, I focus on the ceiling, listening to him ramble about everything. I down the rest of the bottle, only focusing on the voice.

Only his voice.

_"You're all mine, huh? Say it again."_

_ "What are you doing to me…?"_

_ "Christ, I love you…so much…"_

"I love you too…"

_"Chibiya…don't do this… There's time to save you…"_

"I can't be saved…Delic…"

_"Please…"_

"Shhh…relax… How do you expect me to live…without you…?"

As I start to feel heavy and sleepy, I roll my head over to Delic's side of the bed.

He's there.

"Chibiya… Chibiya, baby, it's alright…"

"I know…it's all…okay now… You're here…"

"I'm always here… I love you. I love you so much… I'll never leave you…"

My eyes fill with tears again.

"Please…don't… I can't…take it…"

His hands wrap around mine, and I'm shocked that I can feel them.

"I know… I know, it's alright. You... You were there for me, so I'm with you. I'm with you, okay? It's fine."

"Are…you mad…at me…?"

"No, baby. I'm never mad at you."

"Ahhh…good… I was…scared…"

It's hard to breathe.

"Don't be scared. I'm here. I'm right here."

He scoots closer to me, and his arms wrap around me as his lips kiss my temple.

"Delic…"

"Just…close your eyes… It's alright…"

I do as I'm told, and instantly I feel a slight tug, pulling me down almost _through _the sheets. I still feel Delic around me, and I cling to him as my heart slows down.

"I… want…to…be with you…only…you…"

"I know. I want that too… I just wish…we could've tried it another way…"

"Hah…me too…"

I only want this. I want him to hold me. I want him to love me. I want everything he can give me. I need this.

When I was broken, he put me back together.

When I needed a hero, he wore the cape.

When my crown fell, he dusted it off and placed it back where it belonged.

In my hazy mind, I seek his lips with mine. He obliges, and I mewl as he kisses me for the first time in ages, the edges of darkness washing over me.

"Love…you…God…I love…you…"

"Close your eyes, baby. It's alright."

Everything swirls around into nothing. I feel weightless for the first time in my life. There's no pain, no anything… It's just us.

I open my eyes and look up to see Delic looming over me, his hand outstretched.

"You ready?" he asks.

"We… We're really together…" I say, not sure whether or not this is real.

"Mmm, of course."

I grab his hand, and bury my face in his chest as the colors around us swirl.

"Don't worry, Chibiya. We have all eternity to try again."

And I smile a real smile for the first time in ages, because he's right. We have forever.

And that's all I ever needed.

_[If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied. Illuminate the 'no's' on their vacancy signs. If there's no one beside you, when your soul embarks, then I will follow you into the dark.]_

_**The End~**_

* * *

_ Sachi: Ah. I know, I know. *sobs* OH GOD IT'S OVER! *dies*_

_ Delic: Damn._

_ Hibiya: At least we were together._

_ Delic: Awww, Chibiya's getting sentimental on meeeee~!_

_ Sachi: Once again, I'd like to thank all of you. I hope you all enjoyed the story, and I'm sorry if it wasn't what you thought. I'm going to post the other half of the story soon enough. It will be called, 'When the Music's Over', so keep an eye out for it! _

_ Hibiya: Goodbye!_

_ Delic: See ya soon!_

_ Sachi: Until next time, my lovelies~_


End file.
